We all have pesky bad habits that seem impossible to break. What if you just started doing something worse?
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(via Thinkstock)
Don't give yourself a hard time about all the little tics and routines you've developed over the years. Just be the change you want to see in your world. Check out the helpful life hacks below and in no time at all you'll be a completely different person with completely different debilitatingly bad habits.
1. Instead of biting your nails, try smoking cigarettes*.
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Look at how great her manicure is.(via Thinkstock)
Most people bite their nails because they don't know what else to do with their hands. Try smoking! It's more expensive than gnawing on self-grown cuticle beds, but you look much cooler and more self-assured than when you have your hands in your mouth. It also gives you an excuse to leave the office or any social events when you need a break from talking to people. Except other smokers. They'll be huddling on the corner with you, but they're all very mellow from the nicotine.
2. Instead of snacking in between meals, try taking Ambien and sleep eating.
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Just don't eat more pills.(via Thinkstock)
It's so hard to resist eating salty chips and sweet cookies in between breakfast, lunch and dinner. We usually do it because we're bored, or we let ourselves get too hungry before the next meal time rolls around. Here's a suggestion: take Ambien. One of the side effects of this powerful sleeping pill is eating while unconscious. You'll wake up the next morning with a full tummy and an empty refrigerator.
3. Instead of sitting in front of the TV, try wasting your life at the movies.
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Be anti-social with friends.(via Thinkstock)
Ugh, TV. You turn it on for one episode and before you know it you're ass-deep in a ANTM marathon. Forget flipping on the boob tube, go to a movie theater. It's expensive, which is discouraging, but if you do splurge, you can then sneak from showing to showing until you're chased out by a teenager who is learning to appreciate the value of a hard-earned dollar. Then you can get back to living life!
4. Instead of overspending, try gambling.
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Why are all those dudes eye-humping the camera so hard? Because they're having the time of their lives!(via Thinkstock)
Where does all the money go? If you feel like you're hemorrhaging green every time you go out, try an evening with a built in activity, like going to a casino. You just have to set a limit. Fifty dollars. Maybe if you win a couple times, push it to a hundred. Actually, what's the point if you're not going to go all in? Go big or go home! Remember, if you lose all your money there won't be any to overspend with. Problem solved.
5. Instead of being a workaholic, try being a chocoholic.
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This one isn't actually that bad.(via Thinkstock)
Sometimes it's hard to drag yourself away from your computer. You ignore friends, family, pets, showering, just to get that crazy high that only comes from a job well-done. For people who constantly have their nose to the grindstone, have you tried something called “instant gratification?” It's this great thing where you experience pleasure at very little cost to your free time. A great way to get "instant gratification" is from eating chocolate. Whenever you feel like putting in 6 hours of overtime, unwrap a Hershey's bar instead, then read a book or go to the opera. Your life is yours again.
6. Instead of swearing, try breaking swear jars.
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Meditation doesn't do sh*t.(via Thinkstock)
Can't stop f*cking cursing? Try smashing a swear jar every time you want to tell someone to shove it up their asshole. Oh… whoops!
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Smashy-smashy.(via Thinkstock)
*smoking causes cancer, don't do it.
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