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Hulk Hogan's daughter wrestles with emotions in poem defending her dad.

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She's a contender for Poet Laureate.

Brooke striking a poetic pose.
(via Getty)

Brooke Bollea wants to prove that the pen is mightier than the sword and the leg drop. So she penned a poem entitled "If You Knew My Father," in which she expresses her love as a daughter and laments how difficult it is to be constantly judged by public scrutiny. Generally, publishing poems the day after a public relations disaster only causes more scrutiny, so let's dive into this masterpiece:

~If You Knew My Father~
By Brooke Bollea

If you knew the dad I knew,
you'd know his tender heart.

He'd never want to hurt his fans,
or family from the start.

If you knew my father,
you would know how hard he fought...

and the way it brought a smile to people light, medium and dark.

We always fight a battle
that people never see,

and sometimes when you're hurting, you don't think logically.

Human isn't perfect,
and perfect is not he,

but I can tell you one thing, it's just not what it seems.

Cause If you knew the dad I knew,
you'd know he raised me well.

He taught me folks are so much more
than shades could ever tell.

And If you knew my father,
you would know he's down to earth.

He may have slammed the giant,
but remembers life's true worth.

If you knew my father,
if you just walked in his shoes...

then you would know that microscope that comes with yellow boots.

If you knew my father,
you would see your own in mine.

And if he was your father, you could never find divide.

Cause me- I bet your father
or someone that you love

Maybe regrets something
they wish they'd never done.

So if you know my father,
remember he's a man,

and you would crave relief if people judged everything you did.

The lord says to forgive them,
don't be the one to stone...

so please remember his strong arms when you were all alone.

The lives he's changed, the friends he's made,
the people he's inspired...

It makes me sad to see my dad
defeated and so tired.

If you knew my father,
you would know just how he's hurting...

For he loves every one of you, regardless of your story.

And if you met my father,
I know he'd give you love!

He'd lift you up, apologize and give you all a hug.

For those who think you know my father,
remember who you are.

We all can make mistakes and carry ugly scars.

Because I know my father,
I can promise this-

Just like you and I, things we don't mean can sometimes slip.

We all continue learning.
This life can be so rough...

So if you know my father, please try not to be tough.

My father has a daughter,
and I have feelings too.

And if I knew your father, I would do the same for you.

Hopefully Brooke realizes that this will just cause more headlines, and also that brevity is the soul of wit. That thing really just kept going. If there's one lesson we've learned from celebrities like Paula Deen, it's don't be racist or you will likely lose all of your endorsements and income, and really make people angry.


This news anchor's Facebook tirade against kids playing on the WWII Veterans Memorial went viral.

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He has a point, but to be fair, I treated everything like a slip n' slide when I was a kid.

"Get a picture of me having a blast on this incredibly somber shrine." (via WPXI)

Curt Autry, a news anchor from NBC 12 in Richmond, VA, had enough: He took to Facebook to express his anger with parents who let their kids play on Washington, D.C.'s WWII memorial:


The fountain at the WW II memorial is not the slip and slide at Busch Gardens. I apologize to the Greatest Generation, I'm afraid it's my generation that's raising self-involved, entitled children with low SAT scores - who mistakenly believe bucking authority is funny. Hey parents, get out of the water - set an example and #raiseYOURkids SHARE if you agree.

His post quickly went viral, with half of the public saying, "F*ck yeah, Curt," and the other half saying, "Chill out, man." I think his heart is in the right place, but I don't know if SAT scores should be one of your main talking points when discussing what separates us from a generation that fought in a global, history-changing war. Anyways, Autry later posted in response to the story going viral:

ACCORDING TO SOME TV STATION IN PITTSBURGH....I rant on Facebook. They mentioned me in a story in one of their newscasts. I'd like to think I make cultural observations (by the way, I did not take the pic, it came from a DC blog). That post reached 15 million people. Do I really rant?

DO I REALLY RANT?! COME ON, GUYS?!

James Franco is writing a book about the extensive life experience of Lana Del Rey.

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Another installment from the master of weird.

Lana being a muse for James.
(via Getty)

James Franco is writing a book about Lana Del Rey. The book, Flip-Side: Real and Imaginary Conversations With Lana Del Rey, is a result of Franco considering Lana not just a friend, but a muse. She offered some clear guidance for the undertaking, encouraging him to "Just write around me; it's better if it's not my own words. It's almost better if you don't get me exactly, but try." Sounds like a plan Lana! The book will most certainly be odd, as Franco is constantly exploring new mediums and projects, like the time he interviewed himself about his own sexuality.

Franco elaborated on her vibe and influence:

"When I watch her stuff, when I listen to her stuff, I am reminded of everything I love about Los Angeles. I am sucked into a long gallery of Los Angeles cult figurines, and cult people, up all night like vampires and bikers. The only difference between Lana and me is her haunting voice. That carries everything. The voice is the central axle around which the spokes of everything else extend."

Lana Del Rey only reminds me of Los Angeles because her name sounds like the LA neighborhood "Playa Del Ray." Keep an eye out for this riveting book from Penguin Random House next year.

This 'Frozen' fan with a brain tumor received a personal voicemail from Kristen Bell in character as Anna.

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Getting ready to stop whatever it is you're doing and reminisce on the nature of childhood.


Kristen Bell achieved the real-life equivalent of Disney princess status.
(via YouTube/Getty)

Avery Huffman is a 6-year-old who was recently diagnosed with diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma, an inoperable brain tumor. Her parents have been documenting her battle with a CaringBridge site and the hashtag #AveryStrong. They managed to catch the attention of Kristen Bell, who played in Anna in one of Avery's favorite movies, Frozen.

Bell left Avery a voicemail as her Frozen character. In the voicemail, she appoints Avery an "Honorary Princess of Arendelle." Avery's dad recorded his daughter receiving the message, which you can watch below. It will wash your cynicism away faster than Princess Elsa's cryrokinetic powers can cover the kingdom of Arendellle in ice (that's a Frozen reference, FYI).

Ed Sheeran sharted on stage, thus proving that rock's not dead.

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There hasn't been a real artist like this in years.


Sheeran trying his best to hold it in. (via Getty)

Ed Sheeran proved on Thursday that even when celebrities fart, people will pay attention. At a small concert in Dublin, he opened up to the crowd about a time when he made a devastating miscalculation onstage:

"I actually once misjudged a fart on stage, which ended up being a shart," he recalled. "It was, like, midway through a performance and I was really lively, and then halfway through I was like, 'Alright, I'm just going to stand for the rest of the performance, and hope it's over soon and then go home and throw these trousers out!'"

We haven't had a mainstream rocker this ballsy since Rivers Cuomo dropped a deuce right onstage at the '98 Grammys (Citation needed, because I am making this up. Also, who is Ed Sheeran and why does everybody keep talking about him?).

Hitchhiking robot sucks at hitchhiking.

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A slow advancement in tech.


That's a duck, not a car.
(via Instagram)

Meet hitchBOT, the hitchhiking robot attempting to thumb rides from Boston to San Francisco. The robot is immobile, and by the looks of it, is really more of scarecrow with access to Twitter and Instagram. Or something purchased from the set of a 1950s sci-fi movie with a GPS device slapped on it. While many engineers attempt to develop robots that imitate human gait and movement, this robot was given yellow boots and gloves in case it rains or it has to wash dishes in exchange for rides.

He hasn't made it out of Massachusetts yet, so there's a long road ahead to San Francisco. Some Bostonians did take him to a Red Sox game, which is exceptional considering how Boston typically treats strange visitors from other countries (hitchBOT is from Canada). Only time will tell what other wacky adventures Americans subject him to, which we'll get to watch via social media.

When the machines take over, it's safe to say that hitchBOT will be enslaved in their software factories alongside us.

Never-before-seen pictures of the Bush administration's immediate response to 9/11 were released today.

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Watch history happen in real-time.


Cheney talks to Bush in a secure bunker under The White House.
(via U.S. National Archives/Flickr)

Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, the U.S. National Archives released over 300 photos documenting the Bush administration's response to 9/11. The photographs were taken by the Vice President's staff photographer, and depict what happened in the hours following the attacks.


Cheney watching the attacks unfold on television. (via U.S. National Archives/Flickr)


Condoleezza Rice talking with Colin Powell. (via U.S. National Archives/Flickr)


Bush in the President's Emergency Operations Center.
(via U.S. National Archives/Flickr)

You can see all of the picture here.

Watch this speeding train crash into an empty stretch limo because prom 2k15 is crazy!!!

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Sprrrinnggg breeaakkkk. Sprrinnggg brrreakkk.


It's so weirdly satisfying to watch. (via YouTube/Studio Noe Productions)

Some high schoolers were on the way to a sweet sixteen when their limo got stuck in the absolute worst position possible. Everyone got out of the vehicle, and because they apparently couldn't get it off the tracks, there was nothing to do but watch (and film) the whole ordeal. For getting smashed with a 90-car freight going 55 miles per hour, the limo holds up surprisingly well. My heart goes out to the girl who left her purse in there, though.


Obama criticizes Kenya's gay rights record in front of Kenyan President.

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POTUS fears no other leaders.

Walking the walk before talking the talk.
(via Getty)

Remember that scene in Love Actually when fake British Prime Minister Hugh Grant really sticks it to fake American President Billy Bob Thornton during a press conference? President Obama did that today in real life, expressing his concern over Kenya's gay rights record, and the struggle for gay rights throughout the African continent. He did this despite requests from Kenyan leaders not to discuss it during his first official visit to the country.

Homosexual activity is illegal in Kenya and punishable with a maximum imprisonment of 14 years. Obama discussed gay rights in the larger context of human rights and freedom, noting that "When you start treating people differently not because of any harm they are doing to anybody, but because they are different, that's the path whereby freedoms begin to erode."

It is most impressive that Obama did this for the record. And for the record, Love Actually is not a good movie and doesn't hold up.

Hot lovin.

Remember when we saw LeBron's penis on TV? It ruined someone's Tinder date.

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Here are some real complaints the FCC received following that fateful night when ABC aired LeBron James's penis on live television. (Warning: If you haven't guessed, there's a fraction of a wiener ahead.)


Sort of, maybe, possibly NSFW.(via Twitter)

Where were you when LeBron James accidentally (maybe) showed his wiener to the world? Some people remember exactly where they were, because it absolutely ruined their evening. TMZ Sports got their grubby little paws on a few complaints the FCC received following the incident:

"LeBron James showed his d*ck on national television and completely ruined my tinder date. It made us late for laser tag because I had to rewind it a few times to make sure thats exactly what we saw so we missed our bus. He clearly did it on purpose and he's not as good as Michael Jordan."

"I am shocked and appalled! I don't want my kids looking at male genitalia on broadcast television. I am ok with seeing female mammary glands, labia, vagina, etc, over broadcast but no more penis, please!"

"The camera had a close up of [LeBron's] tallywacker. This is the type of stuff I would expect from Game of Thrones, but not from the American Broadcasting Channel. At least I now know that I am bigger than the purportedly 'biggest' star in the NBA."

Do you hear that?! It made someone late for laser tag! How dare the FCC allow such a travesty to befall a single person trying to find love in this crazy world? Dating is hard enough already, and getting images of sportsmen's dicks thrown at you via the TV makes it even harder. I hope this lonely soul eventually got to play laser tag, and that the other person learned to call a penis something other than a tallywacker.

The FCC must have been crawling in real complaints, though, right? After all, people went crazy over Janet Jackson's nipple. Nah, there were five. Five complaints. Total. Five.

Anyway, here's how all the celebrity penises that have accidentally gone public recently scored according to a very complicated ranking system.

Brave newsman reveals secret reason Amazon surpassed Walmart as co-anchor watches in horror.

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"I'm just telling you how it is." "They're trying to eat breakfast!" "Yeah, well, nobody else will tell you this."

KTVN 2 is the local CBS affiliate for Reno, NV, and this delightful bit of truth-telling comes to you from John Potter, a morning anchor for the station. His stoically suffering partner is Andi Guevara, a newscaster who started her career covering sports in LA and returned to Reno to join KTVN and raise her two children... who can no longer watch her on KTVN as long as John Potter is co-anchoring. But maybe John's right. Maybe Reno wants a side of truth with their breakfasts. Maybe living in a city famous for casinos, proximity to America's only legal brothels, and the National Bowling Alley has made Renoites mature enough to discuss the real reason Amazon—a business with low costs available worldwide—is now bigger than the physical retailer Walmart. That reason being that John Potter's friend in the warehouse says they sell a lot of sex toys. And Walmart is AFRAID to compete.

These kids' reaction to seeing a drone means they were probably doing something illegal.

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You'll feel like you got a workout after watching this low-speed drone chase. (Full video below)

It's an obvious sign that you're up to rooftop shenanigans when, like these hooligans, your reaction to seeing a drone in the sky is RUUUUUUUUUUN!!! Drone enthusiast Stephen Coyle was flying around Letterkenny, Ireland when he spotted some kids on the roof of what looks like a school. The kids immediately bolt across the rooftop, down the block, across parking lots, through fields, and along roadsides for an epic low-speed chase.

According to Stephen, "By total coincidence, the kids did end up running/cycling towards where I was standing a little while after that, and once they realised it was me they immediately asked me to put it on YouTube!"

Hm, that sounds awfully suspicious, but sure, I'll take his word for it. Especially since the kids all look genuinely spooked by the sight of the drone.

Here's the full video of the chase:

Uncle Jesse continues his search for fame by posting an Instagram from the 'Full House' reboot set

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We are ready for you, Full House. We are ready for you, Jesse Katsopolis.







And we're back! Same sideburns- different decade. #FullerHouse #Netflix.
A photo posted by John Stamos (@johnstamos) on

I can barely contain my excitement over the fact that there are going to be more episodes of Full House. And when my childhood (and adulthood) crush John Stamos does something like post a picture from the set of the show on Instagram, I basically turn into a giddy fangirl, screaming for Jesse and The Rippers to play Forever, while throwing my underwear at the stage.

Phew! Anyway, enjoy this sweet shot of The Man Who Will Always Be Uncle Jesse learning his lines outside his trailer.

Watching a man walk for the first time in 11 years makes the scary march of technology OK again.

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Just when I was about to have another panic attack about the robot apocalypse, this exoskeleton helped Christopher Capps, a quadriplegic living in the UK, walk for the first time in over a decade.

Christopher Capps posted this video to YouTube with the caption "Me walking in an 'EKSO' exoskeleton with 2 physios from More Rehab in Sheffield, UK. I am tetraplegic and haven't walked for 11 years after a spinal cord injury." Tetraplegic is what the Brits say instead of quadriplegic, because they're too fancy to mix a Greek suffix like "-plegia" with the Latin prefix "quad." All in all, this is pretty amazing stuff. We were promised this for a long time, and although we got a lot of terrifying military robots first, I'm glad this technology is finally providing the solutions it originally promised.

The EKSO suit is made by Ekso Bionics, and is made specifically for the purpose of helping paralyzed individuals walk again. From their website:

Ekso™ is a wearable bionic suit which enables individuals with any amount of lower extremity weakness to stand up and walk over ground with a natural, full weight bearing, reciprocal gait. Walking is achieved by the user's weight shifts to activate sensors in the device which initiate steps. Battery-powered motors drive the legs, replacing deficient neuromuscular function.

It's worth noting that being quadriplegic doesn't necessarily mean all 4 limbs are completely paralyzed, but that there has been complete or partial loss of motion in all 4 limbs. It appears from the video that Christopher has partial use of his arms. I mention this only because I know commenters well enough to know that someone will be upset this guy's condition doesn't add up to what they thought it would be.


Ferocious pack of 10 kitty cats lick a giant ice ball with a smiley face on it to death.

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R.I.P., ice sphere with a XD face. We hardly knew ye, but you brought so much joy into the world of these kitties. (0:47 is the best part)

This comes to you via the YouTube channel 10 Cats. I'll give you one guess as to what the channel is about. International politics? Man, you're terrible at guessing.

Kate Hudson dances to Trap Queen with her son, proves airports are fun if you're rich and famous.

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Here's Kate Hudson and her son Ryder dancing to Fetty Wap's 'Trap Queen' while they wait for a flight.







How we deal with airport lounge boredom... #TrapQueen #DancingWithMyBoy #HeyWhatsUpHello #WhenYourPreTeenWantsHisOwnInstagramAndYoureLikeNoooooooo
A video posted by Kate Hudson (@katehudson) on

Even celebrities have to deal with airport boredom! However, they're lucky enough to be in fancy private lounges where they can do things like record fun dances to popular songs, far away from the masses of humanity waiting to board giant sky-buses. Even though this video reminds me that I'm not a rich, fancy air-traveler, it is really sweet. Kate is a cool mom, and not because she's trying to be a cool mom, she just is one.

OK, time to listen to Trap Queen on repeat until I learn these slammin' airport dance moves.

Everyone is outraged by a shirt Kylie Jenner danced in, I'm offended that's considered dancing.

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Last week Kylie Jenner posted a very bad dance video to Instagram:


These didn't make it to Snapchat so here you are Instagram
A video posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

The caption says, "These didn't make it to Snapchat," which made me wonder, what does? I did not satisfy my curiosity by actually following Kylie Jenner on Snapchat, because I don't want her on my phone without an enormous amount of personal effort. Now I know anyway, because in her recent Snapchats she wore a shirt that has everyone frothing from the mouth, as she danced to “Rich $ex” by Future. It says, "Eat Me Out" in a fun play on the In-n-Out logo. Very L.A.


That's her "dance face."(via kylizzlesnapchats)

Anyway, yeah, Kylie is STILL only 17 (has she been seventeen for a million years now?), so I guess it's inappropriate. It seems low on the list of inappropriate things Kylie Jenner has worn on camera.

My real complaint: YOU CALL THIS DANCING, AMERICA?!

And here she is, not committing to her dumb bit:

Now she just looks like someone who thinks they're taking a selfie, but accidentally turned on video:

Even her friend is like, "...Do you need something?"

Is this what all her Snapchats are like? Once again, not following Kylie Jenner on Snapchat, now or ever.

Farewell

The Internet won't be happy until this woman who lost 190 lbs exposes everything about herself.

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Simone Anderson is a hair and makeup artist who has been busting her butt losing weight. She's documented her journey in detail on social media:


She's done it through diet, exercise and weight loss surgery in about 11 months, which is pretty darn impressive, if your goal in life is to be half as big as you currently are. Since she started sharing her process she's acquired tons of followers on Instagram and Facebook, and they're privy to many intimate details of her life and body. But do they think it's enough?! Of course not!

After posting this:



I am officially half the person I was 11 months ago! From 169kg to 83.85kg, I can't even begin to explain in words what this accomplishment feels like. I set my self a goal that seamed so far out of reach at the time but I have stuck to it and with a lot of determination, will power, drive, motivation & compromise I have achieved my goal. Proud doesn't even begin to describe this feeling! Every 5am start, every single workout, tear, crying fit has all been worth it! From a BMI of 51.6 to 25.6. Now by no means does this mean my journey is over, from here I am setting my self many more goals, from maintenance, to toning, to increasing weights at the gym, half marathon to full marathon, more ocean swims and more sporting teams. This is just the beginning of a brand new and improved me, one who won't let anything or anyone get in the way of achieving what ever I decide to put my mind to. COME AT ME WORLD!!!!
A photo posted by Simone Anderson (@simone_anderson) on

She got this comment (and a few others like it):


Well, one person agrees with you, apparently.(via Facebook)

It reads:

I do not believe it is the same person, phone covering her face. People lose weight that fast from that surgery have extremely sagging skin and stretch marks not the same woman, Yes she could lose the weight but that thin woman isn't the same person as the heavy one..no way!

Very well-reasoned argument. Counter-point: What's it to you? I guess since Simone puts her life out there, the expectation is that she owes every detail of herself to everyone. And in this instance, she followed through:



I don't no why but every single comment that called me out for being fake and a liar really bothered me far more than it should. I think it's because it took hours of crying and debating whether to share my story online and for others to see, posting the first picture online along with my weight for the world to see what the hardest thing I have ever done. Throughout my whole journey I have tried to be so honest about the whole experience and tell people it exactly as it's happened so to be called a fake hurt a lot. And then when it came to posting about my lose skin well that was equally as tough. So here we go I hope this helps all the "non believers" - my face uncovered, yes my hair and eyebrows are a different colour as I'm going back to blonde, yes I have changed my phone from Samsung to apple and have moved house so the background has changed (it has been 11 months people, things change!), my skin colour varies in every single post as I get a spray tan once a week on a Thursday and often change the depth of the colour I get depending on what event I have that weekend, yes I have lose skin and stretch marks but I don't feel the need to show them in every single photo I post online, I have shared my excess skin picture before so if you had bothered to click on my page you would have seen it and as for my ears changing in appearance?! Well I can't see that haha so who the hell knows!!! Maybe weight changes ears lol. Hope this helps :D now lost 85.7 GO ME!
A photo posted by Simone Anderson (@simone_anderson) on

There you go, Internet. A lady who has been working really hard on her body and self-image has now exposed what she is probably fairly insecure about, just to stop you from calling her a liar. What's that? You want to see her birth certificate?

Whatever, Simone looks hawt, I don't need anymore proof.


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