Dumbledore might be death.

J.K. Rowling has Harry Potter enthusiasts shooting celebratory sparks from their wands since she commented on a theory that Dumbledore might be death from "The Tale of the Three Brothers." The theory contends that Voldemort, Snape and Harry are the three brothers, with Dumbledore representing death. She didn't confirm it, instead calling it a "beautiful theory" that "fits" within the story.

So now we will leave it to devout fans to scour the books and debate their findings in forums. Dumbledore did once tell Voldemort that "Indeed, your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness." One thing we know to be certain about Dumbledore is that J.K. Rowling confirmed in 2007 that he was gay, so if he's also death, this guy had a very complex and nuanced life.

I guess if you're married to a singer, sometimes you just want them to stop singing.

Chrissy Teigen, supermodel and patron for body-positivity, brought her husband John Legend to get her ear pierced in LA with a friend. John, of course, is a famous recording artist who has a voice that could probably like, end wars or something. However, as Chrissy dealt with the pain of electing to get a needle stuck through her ear flesh, she wasn't really in the mood to hear his angelic vocals.

John sang along with Rihanna's "Love Without Tragedy / Mother Mary" and Chrissy was not having it. She flicked off the camera and rolled her eyes, proving that even a voice like that gets old when you're married to it.

It's horror movie about getting stuck in a horror movie.

WARNING: after watching the trailer for The Final Girls you will want to immediately watch/be in the movie. It's about a girl, Max (Taissa Farmiga), whose deceased mom (Malik Akerman) was the star of the horror film "Camp Bloodbath" when she was alive. Max goes to a screening of "Camp Bloodbath" with her friends, and they all end up inside the movie, fighting for their lives alongside the characters.

The Final Girls manages to take the best parts of a bunch of movie genres and make a really great smoothie out of it. It's super funny yet sincere, and even has hot girls in bikinis! I can't wait to see this sci-fi/comedy/horror/drama, even though what I really want is to be in the actual movie. Sure, they're trying to stay alive, but it looks really fun.

For Nicki Minaj, this dress is basically the equivalent of walking around in a giant barrel.

Singer, rapper, and celebrity feud-er Nicki Minaj attended her brother Jelani's wedding in a very sexy red dress that is actually quite tame for her. Nicki and Jelani look like an ad for some kind of dental practice, their smiles are so perfect.

She also posed with her mother Carol, showing where she gets some of her fierce attitude. The whole Minaj clan is looking good. Nicki did some impromptu singing as well, and the video starts off with a nice blurry-cleavage shot and everything!

Seems like a fun wedding guest! If she starts crashing weddings like Amy Schumer, hopefully she'll wear something like this:

Fishnet bodysuit, that's the Nicki we know and love.

I was very skeptical at first. Then, I was extremely skeptical. Then, I was like, whoah, get this guy a Malibu dreamhouse, because he's a doll.

YouTube makeup star Kandee Johnson is world-famous for her amazing makeup transformations, and she kindly stopped by the "late night television show" (a media format watched by old people) of James Corden to work her magic on him. What resulted was a very charming TV host being tortured and prodded into a legitimately impressive and hilarious transformation.

Related: Hilariously cruel Katie Couric convinces James Corden she died on his show for April Fool's.

For a relatively new (to US audiences) TV personality, Corden has been doing a great job of interviewing new media stars in a way that most hosts fall flat trying to do. Here he is interviewing the world's biggest Vine stars:

This Minion is definitely the villain in a slasher movie.

Minions, the yellow demons from the movie Minions, love to cause trouble both on screen and in real life by doing things like blocking highways and cursing. And now there's one that looks like it is bleeding from the eyes, while gazing deep into your own with a creepy half-smile.

Redditor AWildMagikarp5 posted the above photo to Imgur with the caption "My mom bought a strawberry scented minion shampoo for my little brother." It's racked up over a 2 million views with its terrifying, bloody, bath-time realness. Don't look at it to long, or it will be able to feed on your soul.

Someone bring me back to the present, because Wiz just took me to the future.

Pittsburgh-born rap star Wiz Khalifa is mostly known for being the stonedest, chillest dude to ever lay down a track and father children with Amber Rose. Turns out, he's also a technology pioneer. The "Black and Yellow" rapper was arrested by LA's boys in "Black And That's It" (their police wear black) at Los Angeles International Airport, apparently because he refused to dismount his hoverboard. Unfortunately, that most awesome of infractions quickly escalated to this:

Officers can be heard telling Wiz to "stop resisting" and he can be heard responding "I'm not resisting, sir. I'm not resisting."

As far as his strong stance on hover freedom, Wiz was uncompromising.

I'm not going to lie, that's the coolest tweet I've ever read. Do what you want, kids.

"I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling FBI and their dog!"

This is Bear. Even if you just met this guy and knew his name was Bear, you'd think he was pretty awesome. Little do you know! Bear, age 2, is one of only a handful of K9 dogs in America capable of sniffing out storage devices. "Bear is unique because he can sniff out SD cards, thumb drives, external hard drives, iPads and micro SD cards," said Bear's handler, Todd Jordan, "It's something we probably can't smell." Crazy. I wonder if my childhood dog knew before I did when my Nintendo cartridges needed blowing.

Bear's involvement in former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle's child pornography case has been known since the FBI raided Fogle's house (the second video in this article is from July). But, authorities are now saying evidence discovered by the canine officer, specifically a hidden thumb drive, was a key factor in building the case that led Jared to confess. Said Assistant U.S. Attorney Steven DeBrota, "It's all critical. We put together a huge spreadsheet and understanding of everything Fogle did during a broad period of time, and what he didn't do. That's one more point in that whole understanding of what that's all about."

Whether you're counting Bear in human years or dog years, this is still poetic justice. Good boy, Bear. Good boy.

There are garbage-pail people who body shame pregnant ladies, apparently.

Katie Fehlinger is a meteorologist for CBS in Philadelphia, who also happens to be 35 weeks pregnant with twin girls. And as you can see in the photo above, she is still coming in to work to tell the tri-state area how humid and sweaty they're going to be, all while carrying two humans inside her body. Instead of being impressed that someone could work so hard while simultaneously fostering the miracle of life, some trolls called Katie a "sausage in casing" and said that "sticking your pregnant abdomen out like that is disgusting."

Before going on a crazed, angry rampage on Katie's behalf, read her amazing response that went viral on Facebook:

Here's what she wrote:

A message for the haters...
Hey guys! Once more, I have to get something off my chest. So, the nature of my job makes me an easy target for criticism. I will always understand that, and I will most typically just ignore it. However, after someone blatantly called me a "sausage in casing" and another declared that "sticking your pregnant abdomen out like that is disgusting", I felt a need to draw a line and speak up.
Everyone's right to their opinion is important, but so are manners. And while rude comments like these will never make me feel the need to change anything about myself, I find a bigger underlying issue here. These particular nasty-grams were directed at a pregnant woman.
So this little manifesto of sorts is dedicated to every mother out there - other pregnant moms-to-be, moms reading this while their toddlers play on the swing set, moms whose kids have long since gone off to college...
You are beautiful. 
Even during the most uncomfortable - and let's face it, less than glamorous - symptoms of pregnancy, what women go through to bring their precious children into the world is, simply put, AMAZING and you should be lauded.
Frankly, I don't care how "terrible" or "inappropriate" anyone thinks I look. I will gladly gain 50 pounds & suffer sleepless, uncomfortable nights if it means upping my chances to deliver 2 healthy baby girls. Now it's about more than aesthetics. I want these babies to have the best start possible. And that hopefully means my belly that "looks like it's about to explode!" will continue to grow the next few weeks.
I say let's raise a Shirley Temple to swollen feet, stretch marks, nausea, all the extra pounds and the dark circles! They're badges of motherhood. And for those of you who think that's "disgusting", remember a woman went through the very same thing to bring YOU into the world.
In the meantime, let's all remember the lesson Mom taught us - if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

The only thing I'd like to add to this post is simply this: "MIC DROP." This well-written message uplifts pregnant women while reminding the haters that someone was pregnant with them. Let's keep sharing this post until it goes, like SUPER-viral, ok? OK!

Wow. So moving. Harry, please watch this.

Translation: "NooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooo."

Oh yeah, One Direction broke up, in case you were wondering why teens were looking at their phones and crying more than usual today.

Ok, they're going on an "extended hiatus" after March 2016 to pursue solo projects. In other words, "just reunion tours from here on out."

Rumors began circulating Sunday when the UK's Sun tabloid published a rumor (also known as a Sun article) that One Direction, as the newspaper had claimed several times before, would be breaking up in March. The source who talked to the Sun said, "The guys have been together for five years, which is an incredible run for any boyband. They fully deserve to have at least a year to work on their own projects. There is absolutely no bad blood between them and they are all 100 per cent behind the decision." Certainly, this would seem like good news for Louis Tomlinson, in any case, as he will be taking care of a newborn infant by next March.  

This time, to the ear- and heart-rending disappointment of tween girls everywhere, the report turned out to be true. The UK-based pop sensation, now consisting of Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan and Liam Payne following the departure of Zayn Malik, confirmed the impending schism to E! Online and People magazine. As a source told E!, "They are great friends and fully support one another. They are very aware that they are able to work on their own stuff as well as remain together. This is an exciting time for them creatively and as a group."

We'll bring you the best of Twitter's reaction tomorrow morning, but until then, enjoy the best of the times these British scamps have captivated the blogosphere's attention:

Kidpocalypse: The most insane reactions to Zayn leaving One Direction we could find.

Do you know what your kids are doing? Probably watching this One Direction flopping wang Vine.

This weird One Direction fan decided to let the Internet know she's the most obsessed person on the planet.

Stephen Hawking, in his infinite wisdom, appeared via hologram and mentioned One Direction.

A tribute to the sad dads attending One Direction concerts with their daughters.

Harry Styles ate sh*t at a One Direction show in San Diego.

Watch a teenage girl completely freak out when she gets One Direction tickets for Christmas.

Winnie Harlow is a black supermodel, with a  skin condition called vitiligo. It's changed the pigment of her skin, giving her a very unique look:

 

@complex "there's a meeting in my...."

A photo posted by ♔Chantelle Winnie♔ (@winnieharlow) on Aug 6, 2015 at 9:32am PDT

Winnie has a lot of fans, partly because she appeared on a cycle of America's Next Top Model, where she was really open about how she was very ashamed of her skin growing up. A lot of people find her story inspirational, as she's turned something that could be perceived as a flaw into one of her most unique selling points as a model. She's also just damn beautiful!

 

Thank you @sprite @thefader @jonathanmannion @hotoblack @iyanawinfield @rennyvasquez and everyone who came out, participated and made this magic happen today I love and appreciate you!

A photo posted by ♔Chantelle Winnie♔ (@winnieharlow) on Aug 16, 2015 at 5:26pm PDT

So, how are her fans honoring her? Um, by painting their faces to look like hers. Hmm.

Now, here's where things really get complicated. Winnie doesn't care! She responded to the brewing controversy with a long Instagram post:

It reads:

My response to this is probably not what a lot of people want but here it goes: every time someone wants fuller lips, or a bigger bum, or curly hair, or braids does Not mean our culture is being stolen. Have you ever stop to realize these things used to be ridiculed and now they’re loved and lusted over. No one wants to “steal” our look here. We’ve just stood so confidently in our own nappy hair and du-rags and big asses (or in this case, my skin) that now those who don’t have it love and lust after it. Just because a black girl wears blue contacts and long weave doesn’t mean she wants to be white and just because a white girl wears braids and gets lip injection doesn’t mean she wants to be black. The amount of mixed races in this world is living proof that we don’t want to be each other we’ve just gained a national love for each other. Why can’t we embrace that feeling of love? Why do we have to make it a hate crime? In a time when so much negative is happening, please don’t accuse those who are showing love and appreciation, of being hateful. It is very clear to me when someone is showing love and I appreciate these people recreating, loving and broadcasting something to the world that once upon a time I cried myself to sleep over #1LOVE

Her thoughts about cultural exchange versus cultural appropriation sound a lot like what white people say in defense of themselves when they get called out for cultural appropriation.

It's pissed off a lot of people:

But other people, including some other black people, are like "rah rah rah":

And some are pointing out the people emulating her look that are not caucasian:

Verdict on this confusing controversy: who the hell knows!

No matter how much she shakes her head, he just keeps punning.

To be fair to simonline, the Aussie YouTuber who also brought us this charming video of his girlfriend Dana waking up from surgery, IKEA's strange Swedish-ish furniture names are ripe for puns. To be fair to Dana, that is no excuse for the unconscionable way he flings puns at her during their shopping trip.

He's got a real Lack of respect for her, so there's no way they're getting Maryd. He should be Ȧrstid! Maybe if he apologizes, she'll find a way to bring the Lövbacken.

Over the weekend, Swift sang duets with Uzo Aduba and Mary J. Blige during her concert in Los Angeles. The Taylor Swift concert guest stakes must continually be raised until she inevitably brings Obama onstage.  

It was all you could really ask for in a celeb Taylor Swift guest extravaganza (other than an onstage mediation with Katy Perry).

Orange Is The New Black star Aduba apparently is a classically trained singer, and her version of Swift's "White Horse" (above) made a lot of people cry and/or fall in love depending on which tweets you're reading.

Mary J. Blige sang two of her own songs, "Family Affair" and "Doubt," with Swift joining in. But obviously when Tay sang "no more drama in my life" she was being sarcastic. 

So much is happening. Hopefully when the 1989 tour ends in December, we can all take some time to stabilize.

Jade Novah is an actress with the uncanny ability to sound like other actresses and singers. Even the one, the only: Queen Bey.

What? Why? Beyoncé is not a replicable act. There's only one! Though, if it's legal to impersonate people in commercials, Jade Novah could easily be raking it in from every brand on the planet. The above video shows "Beyoncé" hawking all kinds of stuff, from McDonald's to Band-Aids. Would you buy a Medical Alert system from Beyoncé? Probably, though it's hard to picture her falling and not being able to get up. She's too powerful.

Here's a clip for comparison, if you can't magically recall the Queen's hypnotizing tones:

Jade also does a pretty killer Celine Dion:

Sing your heart out! All your hearts, because you're so many people:

Sam is having a bad week.

Sam Rader, half of the falling vlog empire Sam and Nia, got kicked out of a vlogging conference this weekend after an altercation. FYI, Sam is the guy who weirdly surprised his wife Nia with a positive pregnancy test, then three days later she announced she miscarried. The Internet thinks it was all faked. To further bring their reputation to ruin, the Ashley Madison hack revealed Sam had an account on the overwhelmingly male cheating website, which he publicly admitted.

And this weekend, Sam got into a fight at Vlogger Fair, resulting in his forced departure from the event. Sam explained what happened to Gawker: “It was one person, and I didn’t make a threat. What happened was there was a couple of fellow vloggers who had ridiculed our family on Twitter regarding the method we were mourning the loss, our miscarriage on Twitter.” Sam said the fight started on Friday when he told an unnamed vlogger "he had hurt our family and that was that.” On Saturday, the verbal fight started when the same vlogger “got in my face,” and the organizers gave Sam the boot.

Sam said he would be posting a video about it soon, which will only be watched if anyone still cares/likes this fading celebrity couple.

The Internet is joining one server in disappointment over this receipt she received from one of her tables.

Jess Jones is a 20-year-old student at Rutgers University in New Jersey. This summer, she's waiting tables at D'Jais Bar & Grill, a beachfront nightspot in Belmar, to help put herself through school. She relies on generous tips from wild Jersey Shore partiers, so when she got the receipt you see above on August 17, she was pretty pissed off about it. She had waited on the table of eight all night, and they had given her nothing. Not only that, instead of just putting "$0" in the tip field, they wrote "LOL." It's like they tipped her with a sarcastic laugh! That's like 20% of a gut punch.

But rather than stew about it and stay up all night bitterly listening to Springsteen (the traditional Jersey Shore moping ritual), the young woman decided to take her response to Facebook. As the Asbury Park Press reports, she posted an image of the receipt with the cardholder's personal information obscured, along with her thoughts on the incident. Jones wrote:

"Last night, I was stunned by this receipt that was left for me by a party of eight people," Jones wrote. "I would have preferred a '$0' tip than a 'LOL' tip, but as a waitress, bad tips and harsh notes are all part of the job. Even though they did wait an hour to eat, they remained satisfied with filled drinks and proper notice that the kitchen was a bit busier than normal. I've worked in the service industry for five years and I take pride in providing great service to my customers."

"Most of my paychecks are less than pocket change because I have to pay taxes on the tips I make," she wrote. "I need tips to pay my bills. All waiters do. We spend an hour or more of our time befriending you, making you laugh, getting to know you, and making your dining experience the best it can be. We work hard, and we really do care."

As Jones points out, servers in New Jersey receive $2.50 an hour, because it's assumed most of their income will come from tips. And she also had a response to the inevitable criticism that the table did wait much too long for their food:

"My experience with this table was cruel and unnecessary but sadly it's not uncommon," Jones wrote. "With that said: Please be good to your waiters. I know it's annoying when things aren't right. I know how aggravating it is to receive a hefty bill when all night you've been wondering why the table that came in after you was served before you. But waiters are mere messengers most of the time, and it's wrong to shoot them, however bad the news."

She raises an excellent point. Although undertipping or stiffing a server after a long wait certainly feels good in a vindictive way, it doesn't accomplish anything. You never know what's going on in the kitchen. What's more, chances are the restaurant is understaffed and your server is suffering more than anyone as a result. If you really don't want to tip them, let it be because you're cheap. At least that's honest.

Many people agreed with Jones's message, causing her Facebook post (which has since been taken down) to go massively viral. It even came to the attention of Belmar Mayor Matt Doherty, who made his own Facebook post to address it. Doherty said:

"If you visit Belmar please treat the hardworking men and women in our service industry with the same respect you would expect at your job. This is ridiculous."

He should know. 

Stop making me like you, Foo Fighters.

The Westboro Baptist Church, a super racist, homophobic hate group with terrible Yelp reviews protested outside of a Foo Fighters show in Kansas City Friday night, because they think the Fighters and their universally-beloved, Grammy-approved Alt Rock is a threat to America or something.

Dave Grohl and his warriors of foo weren't going to stand for it, though. They fought hatred the only way they knew how: with 80s dance pop. They drove by in a pick-up truck and blasted Rick Astley's 1987 opus, "Never Gonna Give You Up" in a beautiful act of Rickrolling. The Foo Fighters are winning everyone's hearts with their summer fullofpublicstunts. Looks, like I've got a confession to make... DAMMIT, STOP IT, DAVE GROHL!