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Ellen forces Justin Bieber to admit his relationship status, commiserates about the ladies.

September 15, 2015, 9:02 am
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Never say never.

Little-known Canadian vocalist Justin Bieber appeared on Ellen this morning as part of his ongoing quest to be likable again. He and Ellen discussed his new album, and his summer wardrobe, which entirely consisted of pants, and no shirts. 

But Ellen had an agenda, and sought out to see whether or not Biebs was availbs. Biebs kept evading the question, distracting himself (and trying to distract the audience) by  playing with Ellen's glasses, but she would not let him get away. 

"I'm single, ladies... and ready to mingle." Ellen seemed excited, but not as excited as the girls in the audience.  

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Female artist uses an interesting medium to paint Trump.

September 15, 2015, 9:20 am
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It's a period piece.

"Whatever" Menses on matte board goal: sell it and donate the money to an immigrants' rights...

Posted by Sarah Levy Art on Saturday, September 12, 2015

Artist Sarah Levy has crafted a portrait of Donald Trump with menses (period blood) on matte board. She hopes to auction the painting and donate the proceeds to an immigrants' rights organization. The painting has gained so much quick press that she is also selling prints. You can purchase a print or learn more about the auction on her site.

The painting and its hashtag are aptly named "Bloody Trump." We look forward to seeing just how much money it will raise, though it won't be a very popular item in the red states.

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Article 30

September 15, 2015, 9:23 am
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Dad's campaign to catch hit-and-run driver who struck his son proves some things are better left unknown.

September 15, 2015, 9:39 am
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At around 8:45 a.m. last Friday, pedestrians in Gloucester, England came across an injured 15-month-old on the side of the road.

His kid can now forever pull the "But you almost killed me with your car" card.

They called an ambulance, and the kid was quickly rushed to the hospital. Luckily, his injuries were not life-threatening—they were just "cuts and bruises." Law enforcement notified the boy's father, Jamie Ellison, who worked with them to find the culprit. Ellison posted the following on Facebook shortly after the accident to enlist the help of his neighbors:

I beg anyone who was on Hester's Way Road between 8:30 and 8:40....doing school runs or catching a bus etc to please call the police and help find who did this to my little man x thank you x.

After the police did a little more digging, however, they realized that it was Ellison who hit the boy while on his way out. Ellison realized it too, in what was probably the worst "Oh shit!" moment of his lifetime.  He broke the news on Facebook, with the following message about his remorse:

Yes it was me ....I just didnt see him or feel a bump my 2 daughters in the car also didnt see or hear him.....so imagine how I feel right now to be told that I accidentally ran over my own son......think about that

This serves as a reminder to not accidentally hit your son with your car. 

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Zach Braff read a mean article about 'Garden State' and is tweeting at everyone involved.

September 15, 2015, 10:02 am
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Uh-oh. Zach Braff didn't read the part of the Celebrity Handbook where they tell you to always pretend you never read articles about your movies.

https://twitter.com/zachbraff/status/643578042003103744

Yesterday, Vice published an article looking back at Garden State and how everyone loved it for one year before deciding it was horrible. To illustrate this point, writer Dan Ozzi looks back at the movie from both points of view.

This was how we thought about Garden State in 2004...

Braff spent most of the movie having those very deep conversations we all had in our college years—long talks about, you know, deep stuff, like God and death and losing the sense of home. He introduced us to a small cast of offbeat characters from the New Jersey suburbs, including Golden Globe-nominated actor Peter Sarsgaard. Braff’s style as a dramatic director positioned him to be the next Woody Allen.

...versus 2005.

Braff spent most of the movie having those very trite conversations we all suffered through in our college years—blatherings about, you know, vapid privileged problems, like swimming and Coldplay and being a struggling actor. He introduced us to a cast of equally emotionally stunted characters with personality disorders and also the Bazinga! guy. Braff’s image as a mopey unintentionally comedic sensi boy positioned him to be the next David Schwimmer.

Braff did not appreciate this commentary. In addition to tweeting at Vice that the article is "cruel," he tweeted at Ozzi and even—gasp—engaged with a normie.

https://twitter.com/zachbraff/status/643579264756006912https://twitter.com/zachbraff/status/643582791234490368

Meanwhile, Braff's exasperated word-splosion "For what?! Click?!?!" has captured the angst of a whole new generation. Are these tweets the new Garden State?

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Stevie Wonder mocks James Corden's British accent, calls his wife during carpool karaoke.

September 15, 2015, 10:19 am
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The start of a beautiful friendship. 

After some back-and-forth on who should drive the car (Corden ultimately takes the wheel, because growing up in England and driving on the other side of the street is the lesser impediment), James Corden and Stevie Wonder jam to their favorite songs. Their artist of choice? Stevie Wonder.

Because he can't see him, Wonder was dubious of Corden's identity. "All English guys look alike," Wonder jokes, as he FaceTimes people for a second opinion on whether or not it is indeed James Corden.  

After singing "Superstition" and "You Can Feel It Over," Corden asked Wonder to return the favor and call his wife to confirm that they are indeed together. Speaking as a British alter-ego, Wonder calls up Mr. Corden and sings a beautiful rendition of "I Just Called to Say James Loves You." 

Watch the full video, and get psyched for The Wondercats' world tour. 

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It seemed like Caitlyn Jenner wasn’t into same-sex marriage. She cleared up her stance on the issue.

September 15, 2015, 10:25 am
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Last week Caitlyn Jenner made a surprising statement about gay marriage on 'Ellen,' but she addressed it in a blog post.

Portrait of a republican.

It's probably more difficult to wrap your head around Caitlyn Jenner being a Republican than being transgender. It is truly one of life's great mysteries. Last week on The Ellen Degeneres Show, Ellen asked Caitlyn if she was in fact a Republican, and where she stands regarding gay marriage. This was her somewhat hesitant answer:

"When this whole gay marriage issue came up, at first I was not for it. I’m a traditionalist… it’s always been a man and a woman. I’m thinking I don’t quite get it. But as time has gone on, I think like a lot of people on this issue have changed their thinking... I don’t want ever want to stand in front of anyone’s happiness... If that word marriage is really really that important to you I can go with it."

Ellen responded, "It's funny cuz you’re still kind of, a little, not on board with it." If you watch the clip below, you can tell Caitlyn does not sound totally into the idea of gay marriage.

http://ellentube.com/videos/0_12vwyloh

This was definitely a surprising viewpoint coming from a transgender woman who is outspoken about the importance of acceptance. But yesterday she cleared up any misgivings she had about the issue in a blog post entitled 'What I've Learned.' Here's what she wrote:

"Like many people, there was a time when I didn’t realize how important it is for gay couples to have the right to get married. But after hearing from my gay friends and learning more about the hardships they faced because of discrimination, it became clear to me that everyone should be able to marry the person they love." 

Caitlyn Jenner has proven that even modern day royalty like reality tv stars can learn and grow. Let's find ways to be more understanding of fellow humans on this planet.

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Ariana Grande apologizes to America for "I Hate America" on 'Good Morning America.'

September 15, 2015, 10:38 am
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This is the part when she *breaks free.* 

Ariana Grande, the pop star who popularized the wearing of cat ears between November 1st and October 30th, was a little naughty this summer. Or should I day, donaughty? (No, I shouldn't.) 

After famously licking donuts on display at a donut show and proclaiming, "I hate America," Grande apologized, but it came up again when she went on Good Morning America to promote her new fragrance. 

In her airy, breathy speaking voice (which forever sounds if she is whispering directly into your ear), Grande said, "First of all, my behavior was very offensive, and I apologized. There's no excuse and there's nothing to justify it... But as human beings, we all do some things we don't mean at all sometimes."

She adds, "We have to learn from our mistakes. That's how we grow." Grande successfully turned Donutgate into a universal truth of the human experience. 

Get pumped for her new fragrance, creatively called Ari, which is said to smell of donuts and saliva.  

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Hearing this blind man describe his favorite things to touch is almost as great as his jokes.

September 15, 2015, 10:43 am
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Tommy Edison is a YouTube personality whose videos deal with the "funny side" of being blind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7MZZBIV_C0

For his latest video, he described his favorite things to touch, which include dice, money, flour, faded blue jeans, freshly cut grass, and rabbits. The way he describes all of them is pretty amazing. Not as amazing as his classic one-liners, though. At the beginning of the video, he tells the following joke:

How about moth balls? You ever touch moth balls? I don't know how the hell you get their legs apart to touch em.

This led me to check out his zingers from other videos, such as:

I stared at the eclipse and look what happened to me.

Every single woman I've ever been with is a 10.

I promise you won't go blind watching it. It's what you do while you're watching it that will make you go blind.

The educational outreach aspect of his videos are cool, but more importantly, when are we getting a Tommy Edison Comedy Tour, or Tommy Edison on a Comedy Central Roast? If you're looking for a manager, T, I've got you covered.

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Article 23

September 15, 2015, 11:19 am
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Angry politician heckles his own TV news interview.

September 15, 2015, 11:22 am
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MP Dennis Skinner just couldn't let BBC presenter Emily Maitlis have the last word.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yblmvad_eM

When reporters and politicians argue on live TV, it can certainly get tense. There's something about seeing a slick, well-coached public figure lose their cool that's immediately gripping. That goes double when they threaten to throw someone off a balcony.

Due to that famous British restraint, this incident didn't go quite that far. BBC reporter Emily Maitlis had just finished interviewing Labour MP Dennis Skinner when a comment she made in her outro rubbed him the wrong way. Before she had a chance to throw back to the anchor, he laid into her about it, while she had no choice but to look on in awkward horror. When she insisted what she said was a joke, he retorted, "Well I think it's time you got real."

Maybe he got a little too real.

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Kylie Jenner's bodyguards shoved Jessica Alba at Fashion Week because now she's too old to be famous.

September 15, 2015, 11:32 am
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Shoving 00s celebrities: the new Kylie Jenner challenge.

Move, b*tch, get out the way. 

Shit went down at a Fashion Week fashion show in New York yesterday, as America's favorite 18-year-old tried to exit a show with her boyfriend Tyga. 

Page Six reports,

“After the show, trying to leave the venue, it was very crowded,” said a source. “Everyone was in the crush and Jessica had stopped briefly to say hi to someone when all of a sudden from behind came Jenner’s bodyguards. They just shoved Jessica out of the way. She just looked astonished!”

This shit is important. Either Kylie's guards had no idea who Jessica Alba was, or they just didn't care. She's the old establishment, over the hill at 34, so of course the bodyguards were totally down to bodycheck her out of Kylie's path. 

Poor Jessica Alba. Between this kerfuffle and the multiple lawsuits over her company's ineffective sunscreen, she might as well be the Invisible Woman again.

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Thighbrows: the newest body part women are being encouraged to feel self-conscious about.

September 15, 2015, 11:55 am
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Oh great. A new thing the Internet wants us to obsess about having or not having. 

 

Made in KrisJenner™

A photo posted by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on

 

Good riddance, Thigh Gap obsession! That said, your replacement is not much better. There's a new arbitrary female body obsession in town, and like most of them, we have the Kardashians to partly blame.

Elle defines thighbrows as "a set of folds that frames the tops of thighs and separates leg from butt". Um, what?

 

The Queen #thighbrow #thighbrows #kyliejenner

A photo posted by @thighbrowss on

Some people find the so-called thighbrow to be a body positive notion because now women are celebrating at least 2 of their many folds, but as Women's Studies Professor Courtney Marshall told The Daily Dot, "I don't see how this can be called a body-positive trend when it requires a high cut bathing suit. It also seems to require a flat belly, so that line about it being achievable for anyone seems fishy." (Professor Marshall doesn't even mention the waxing of involved in showing off thighbrows, itself a dealbreaker.) 

https://instagram.com/p/7oBlicHmPI/

The term "body positive trend" is itself an oxymoron — bodies are different, and don't naturally conform to the bikini look-of-the-week. 

https://instagram.com/p/7p_nPSTXeN/?tagged=thighbrow

Though the pun is catchy, the trend is ludicrous. How cool would it be if we all just stopped caring about women's shapes altogether?

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Article 19

September 15, 2015, 12:00 pm
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Kids request "Hulk princess cake" for their birthday, get exactly what they wanted.

September 15, 2015, 12:07 pm
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HULK SMASH GENDER-STEREOTYPED BIRTHDAY CAKES.

Since Marvel never responded to my many emails suggesting a Hulk-as-princess Marvel NOW! reboot, this is very satisfying for me.

Reddit user NobodyLikesASmartAss has twin 4-year-old girls. For their birthday, the girls asked for a Hulk princess cake. And woo-boy, did they get exactly what they asked for: a cake that you will like when it's angry, because it's also fancy as f*ck.

Fierce. 

As a kid who grew up liking both comic books and princesses, this brings me a lot of joy. 

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Stromae’s haunting new video about battling cancer will give you fresh, original nightmares.

September 15, 2015, 12:10 pm
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This seems like an accurate anthropomorphic representation of cancer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aJw4chksqM&feature=youtu.be

The Belgian singer/rapper/songwriter Stromae stars in this haunting video for his song "Quand c'est?" about fighting cancer. In the video, 'cancer' is depicted as spindly, branch-like claws that lurk in the shadows, waiting to attack. Stromae's lean frame adds to the severity of the choreography as he slinks around the empty stage. This eerily beautiful dance paired with the lifelike movements of the 'cancer' animation portray the feelings of struggling with disease, and they also give me the creeps.

Although the video was made to be heavy, it also just really seems like an trailer for a futuristic psychological thriller, especially with the Matrix-y feel towards the end. Hope this doesn't give you nightmares!

 

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Kit Harrington basically just straight up admitting Jon Snow is [REDACTED] now.

September 15, 2015, 12:20 pm
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Are you in the mood for some spoilers? I could whip some up right now.

At this point, it would end up being a really interesting twist if Jon Snow was actually dead. No one would see it coming if it was revealed that what really happened when Jon Snow was killed onscreen was that he died. The most shocking thing that could happen in season six is if they buried him, mourned him, and never saw him again, whether in human, dire wolf, White Walker, or Azor Ahai form. Characters would miss him, but eventually, they move on. 

But no, as we all accept by now, Jon Snow isaliveAF. And poor Kit Harrington has become a highly empathetic figure for not being allowed to say anything about it or change his hairdo. The most recent evidence in the case for Jon Snow being alive comes from an interview with Harrington in Belgian magazine Humo, which was then translated by someone on Reddit:

“…I had to pass on amazing parts because I was attached to Game of Thrones. So the show is like a double-edged sword to me: I owe a lot to it, but at the same time it has almost completely drained me. Oh well, I try not to think about it too much. The important thing is that I now know exactly how long I am still under contract, and in the meantime –”

How many more seasons would that be?

“Nice try [laughs]. I can’t talk about that. Let’s just say that Game of Thrones will remain a part of my life for a while, I’ll probably be in my 30s when it’s over. One thing’s for sure: the day I’m no longer on Thrones is the day I’ll bury myself in movie projects [laughs].” 

So, Harrington is clearly implying that he is still under contract with Game Of Thrones for multiple years. That means Jon Snow is either alive or about to begin an extensive multi-year flashback journey. Which sounds crazy until you think of all the Jon Snow-Ygritte scenes you'd still like to see.

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This adorable bear cub lived your dream of taking a nap in a pizzeria.

September 15, 2015, 12:25 pm
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Who among us hasn't gotten sleepy after a few slices?

Run! She's got a taste for cheese!

In Colorado Springs, a lone bear cub wandered into the kitchen of a pizzeria and did what any person would do in that situation: she played around with the ingredients for a bit, ate some cinnamon bun icing, and then fell asleep. Parks & Wildlife officers found her fast asleep on the second shelf of a storage rack.

https://twitter.com/CSPDPIO/status/643522279725527040

The little cub was then woken up and tranquilized (that seems unnecessary). She was found to be malnourished, with an injured paw and no family in sight. Her paw was treated and she was taken to a rehab facility for bears suffering from injuries and pizza withdrawal. Once she's healthy enough, she'll be released back into the wild.

https://twitter.com/CSPDPIO/status/643523140497375232

Let's hope this cute little foodie gets well soon, and is able to readjust to life in the woods. It'll be hard to go back to berries and grubs after tasting the hot cheese and fluffy dough of classic Colorado-style pizza, but at least she'll be well again.

Give her a garlic knot for us.

If there's one thing that unites us all, from the mightiest bear cub to the lowliest pope, it's the love of pizza. It's the great equalizer.

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This doofus pup got his head stuck in a wall like a total doofus.

September 15, 2015, 12:27 pm
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What a doofus.

Doof city over here.

This tweet of a doofus Shiba Inu getting its head stuck in a wall is blowing up on Japanese Twitter for all the right reasons:

https://twitter.com/onodesu0223/status/642247354590990336

Here are the full pics, so you can see the full doof:



This isn't the first time this has happened, and we can only pray that it's not the last.

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Elton John got a call from a president that hates gay rights but loves posting homoerotic photos.

September 15, 2015, 12:47 pm
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Everyone's favorite shirtless president: Vladimir Putin.

Sir Elton John posted on Instagram that he received a call from Russian President Vladimir Putin after requesting a meeting to discuss gay rights. Elton suggested meeting with Putin because of Russia's increasingly hostile attitude towards the LGBT community. The Kremlin has since denied that they spoke, so either Elton is really trying to force this or a morning DJ with a convincing Russian accent made a really mean prank phone call.

While a Kremlin spokesman insists the two have not spoken, he did not rule out a future meeting:

"If the president does get such a signal from Elton John, the president has always been open to discuss any... human rights problems, any issues. He is always ready to clarify the real situation."

So, Elton may yet get his wish (or yet get his wish publicly confirmed). It's not likely that any Russian policy or "real situation" will be clarified, but perhaps Elton can ask Putin to clarify why he posts all those shirtless pictures of himself doing manly things in the woods.

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