We are not implying that these dogs are dealing with the pain of life by getting stoned. Dogs usually don't live to the age of 21, which is when it's legal for them to get stoned, provided they live in Washington, Oregon, or Colorado. Also it's bad for them, and they have a hard time holding joints. So, these dogs aren't stoned, but they sure look like they are with their mouths agape and squinty eyes.

1. This dog that clearly just got stoned for the first time.

2. This dog that has a great joke to tell you.

3. This dog that's too young for this stuff.

4. This dog making connections.

5. This dog that just wants to chill.

6. This dog who just looked in a mirror.

7. This dog who doesn't care who knows.

8. This dog that's just really content.

9. This dog that just got a great idea.

10. This dog that had too much and watched The Matrix.

11. This dog with cottonmouth.

12. This dog that just wants to be free.

13. This dog that was at Woodstock.

14. This dog that forgot what he was gonna say.

15. This dog that just got irony.

16. This dog that just won an award.

The rates of sexually transmitted diseases are both growing and showing, thanks to hookup apps. Doctors have seen a resurgence of syphilis, gonorrhea and even HIV, because of the ease with which you can now bump uglies with strangers. These infections swipe left and right between bodies in the bed, so it's become increasingly important to get tested.

A billboard that just popped up in LA's West Hollywood neighborhood is raising awareness about these concerns. Tinder is pissed about it, and their piss burns:

Tinder sent a cease and desist letter to the AIDS Healthcare Foundation after the billboard went up, a fact that single-handedly makes them seem like total a-holes. They're probably sad because it's true. 

Oh no, Tina! You just totally ate sh*t in the invented Billy Eichner game "LaTina Fey!" In this not-real game, Tina was asked to list 20 Latino performers in one minute. She comes in at around 19, but some of them are definitely gimmies:

This is worrisome for any Latino performers who were hoping they'd pop into Tina Fey's head when she's casting her next pilot. Seriously, who could ever forget Jimmy Smits?

Ladies, if you haven't had a guy condescendingly explain something obvious to you that you already know, you must live on some sort of sacred island populated only by women. Your periods are so synced, Mansplaining cannot penetrate your consciousness. For the rest of us, there are a few alternatives: running away screaming, politely telling them you know that already and getting called a bitch, or the new product introduced in this video:

Hmm, Reasonale just seems like a rebranding of mommy's little helper, Valium. Or Xanax? There are a lot of drugs out there for women who need to check out for a sec. Or who have social anxiety issues, depression etc. Guess it's time to see a doctor. A male doctor, of course.

Stephen Colbert's real self was finally revealed (partially) on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night. The hopefully recurring bit "Who Am Me?" sets out to answer the question: "Is Stephen Colbert anything like his former persona on Comedy Central, 'Stephen Colbert'?" The answer is complicated. Stephen Colbert has been on TV for so long as someone else, some of his real self must have slipped out, and some of the persona must have influenced his real self. 

In order to find the truthiness of who he actually is, Stephen takes a personality test with a professional Myers-Briggs personality tester. The results are here:

Stephen Colbert is on TV quite often for an introvert. Maybe the show will get quieter and more stand-offish the longer it goes.

On August 24, John Mogan and his girlfriend Ashley Duboe pulled off what seemed, at first, to be the perfect bank robbery. After Duboe used makeup to disguise all of Mogan's many face and neck tattoos, he strolled into the Savings Bank in Asheville, Ohio, and handed the teller a note demanding cash. Minutes later, he walked out as cool as can be. It seemed like this modern day Bonnie & Clyde were home free, until they made the most Millennial of all missteps:

Mogan posted photos to Facebook of himself and Duboe posing with their stolen money in various humorous situations. Using the fat stacks like props in some horrible improv show, Mogan incriminated both himself and the woman he loved for the worthy cause of terrible comedy. Above, you can see him pretending to eat a pile of money, but the hijinks didn't end there:

Unfortunately, some hater on Facebook saw the photos and, jealous of the couple's comedic prowess, tipped off the cops. Using this evidence, eyewitness accounts, and Mogan's criminal record (he had gotten out of prison a few months earlier for bank robbery), Ohio's best detectives were able to determine that these two were guilty as hell. They were arrested, and Mogan is currently being held on $250,000 bond.

When he gets out of prison, maybe John Mogan will know better than to post evidence of his next bank robbery to Facebook. But by then, Facebook might not even be the dominant social network. He might be pinning cash to Pinterest. Now that would be humiliating.

Edward Snowden: Hero. Traitor. Tweeter. The famous whistleblower has been off the map since being accused of espionage, and by off the map, we mean Russia, which is basically that far north. While he recently talked dick pics with John Oliver, we don't know much about his sense of humor and innermost thoughts, which is exactly what Twitter is for. The only account Snowden is following so far is the NSA, and we sure as hell know that they're following him: 

His first tweet, whether intentionally, seems like a #SponsoredTweet for Verizon.

Snowden was welcomed to the Twitterverse by master of the universe Neil deGrasse Tyson: 

This adorable back-and-forth ensued:

Here's Snowden's appearances on StarTalk for some more Snowson love.

Nicki Minaj will produce and appear in a new TV show for ABC Family. You didn't see that coming, did you? According to Deadline, the biographical comedy series will be about Minaj "growing up in Queens in the 1990s with her vibrant immigrant family and the personal and musical evolution that lead to her eventual rise to stardom." Hopefully, there will also be jokes about Taylor Swift and lots of dancing. Minaj did go to the performing arts high school that Fame was based on, after all.

ABC Family confirmed the "BREAKING" news on Twitter, and then Minaj announced via Instagram that she's doing a nationwide search to cast the role of her childhood self:

And if this show wasn't stacked enough, Jackee Harry offered on Twitter to play Minaj's mom.

This is a great day for television.

Back before the Muppet Show and Sesame Street, Jim Henson had a seemingly less-glamorous gig: coffee commercial-maker. But Henson's ads weren't the heartless sellout stuff you might expect from a creative guy forced to take an ad job for the money — rather, these coffee commercials sold java via brief moments of bizarre violence. Super-short, surreal, and hilarious, these ads aired in the Washington DC and Baltimore area and were wildly popular, leading to other Henson commercial gigs. And also probably leading you down a rabbit hole of searching out other Muppets videos, because they're just so damn good:

A mother flying with her baby found a rare opportunity to use Facebook to thank the person sitting next to her on a plane, instead of posting the run-of-the-mill tirade about how much air travel sucks because of other people. This is perhaps the first instance in human history that someone has thanked the person who sat next to them on a plane, and the person she thanked was in the window seat, no less! Rebekka Garvison posted this thank you note because, unlike most the people on her plane, this saint/patriot loves babies.

The message, complete with photographic evidence, shows the struggle of being a new parent, and how something small can make your day:

Here's the full text of the message:

Something amazing happened to me today and I will never be able to express how grateful I am for it. If anyone has ever traveled with an infant you know how stressful it can be. Today, I was reminded that there truly are absolutely AMAZING individuals in this world even if they are complete strangers to you. I have been planning this trip to surprise Nick Garvison for quite some time and have been most stressed about flying alone with Rylee and all of our stuff to lug around with no help. As soon as we got on the plane at 5:30 AM it was very quiet and it was a full flight. I noticed that the 2 seats next to me were taken and this couple looked very annoyed and I could tell by their body language sitting right next to me that they weren't thrilled about sitting next to Rylee. Of course I'm already stressing and then Rylee started crying when we were just getting ready to taxi. I decided to ask the other flight attendant if I could move up 2 rows where there were 2 empty seats next to each other and I'd have more room to do stuff. She said yes and next thing I know I was sitting next to this amazing woman! I'm not sure if she could tell how stressed and upset I looked or what, but she turned our day completely around. Rylee wouldn't stop crying no matter what I would try and do....so she had asked if I didn't mind if she tried and of course I let her. As soon as she had her, Rylee was looking out the window and stopped crying. When we got in the air she fell right asleep and slept in her lap the whole flight until we got to our gate. She kept saying it wasn't a problem at all and it was actually a comforting feeling for her. She even carried her off the plane and held her so I could get the stroller and carseat put back together so I wasn't struggling to try and do it all alone.

Nyfesha Miller, you will never understand how happy this act of kindness has made my family. You could've just rolled your eyes and been irritated like everyone else, but you took her and held her the entire flight and let me get some rest and peace of mind. It brought tears to my eyes while I sat there and watched you and Rylee sleeping next to me. I just couldn't believe how that ended up working out and how caring you were to us. Thank you SO much!!
God bless you!!

The next time you're on a plane, do something nice for a parent next to you, like suddenly offer to adopt their child.

Snapchat is confusing as hell to anyone over the age of 24. We don't know how old this woman is, but she has a young-looking boob (and a job, so at least there's that). She should probably be up on her direct messages settings for when sending the snapsexts. Oops!

Everyone in this office, and presumably others, prays that if they accidentally send our boss a boob pic, he or she never mentions it again. Let's all just go on with our lives like nothing happened, okay? That's not how this lady's boss responded:

Okay, so this whole thing is probably made up. Like, is this a post-it? Where did it get posted? If it's a Snapchat reply, there should be way more filters and goofy text boxes. Though the authenticity of this post has been called into question, the moral stays the same: please, boss, if you get a boob pic, say nothing. Fire us instead. It would be less embarrassing.

Emma Watson got real about sexism as part of a series of interviews in The Guardian focusing on how women are treated in the film industry. Because you can't just play twentieth-century feminist icon Hermione Granger and be the UN HeForShe ambassador and then drop the ball on this stuff. We all know that without her, The Boy Who Lived would be dead in a ditch somewhere right now.

Watson talked about the numbers:

I have experienced sexism in that I have been directed by male directors 17 times and only twice by women. Of the producers I’ve worked with 13 have been male and only one has been a woman.

She talked about the media (but not me, right? Right? RIGHT?):

Most of the problems I have encountered have been in the media, where I have been treated so incredibly differently from my male co-stars.

And she talked about R-E-S-P-E-C-T:

If something does go wrong in the workplace, the support network is not brilliant. The men at the top often find it difficult to relate to a lot of the problems women face and therefore we aren’t taken very seriously. 

How many thousands of Emma Watsons need to tell us the same thing before we are ready to finally listen?

One of the biggest criticisms of Hillary Clinton is that she seems very calculated and rehearsed, like Marnie from Girls. With Bernie Sanders getting popular among the youths, Hillary sat down with Lena Dunham,"a voice of a generation," to reach said generation. In the inaugural issue of Lena's feminist newsletter, Lenny Letter,she interviews Hillary, who is trying really hard to make it seem like she isn't trying really hard.  

Here are the highlights of the interview that make Hillary seem chill, and even touches on Netflix and Chill: 

Hillary: Here, we were having a rally, as I recall, to do away with limited visiting hours by men. Yeah. Curfews and visiting hours by men. That was what this was about. And you can see the crowd that it drew! These were people who really knew what they wanted. We were vigorously contesting the administration that wanted to keep doing things the way they had done them for a hundred years.  

You gotta fight for your right to party!

Hillary: I don’t trust anybody who says that they didn’t have some questions in their 20s. That’s a period of such exploration and often torment in people’s lives. And so, when I graduated from college, I had made the decision I was going to go to law school, but it was a hard decision. I wasn’t quite sure that was exactly the right thing to do, but I thought I would give it a try. 

Hannah also tried grad school.

Hillary: I was terrified about losing my identity and getting lost in the wake of Bill’s force-of-nature personality. I actually turned him down twice when he asked me to marry him. 

That was a large part of the ambivalence and the worry that I wouldn’t necessarily know who I was or what I could do if I got married to someone who was going to chart a path that he was incredibly clear about. My ideas were much more inchoate. I wasn’t sure how to best harness my energies. So I was searching. 
 

Reading Hillary talk about her post-college angst and her struggles in her 20s is the best episode of Girls yet. 

In honor of National Coffee Day, we are going to end the "Is coffee good for you?" debate once and for all by outlining what's good and what's terrible about the ol' brown stuff and letting you decide if the addiction is worth it. Should you put down the mug and enjoy a life of steady, consistent energy and healthy bowel movements? Or should you pick it up and revel in the delicious, hypomanic euphoria of a cup of joe? Or do you just keep doing what you're doing, but with a newfound smugness now that you know all these facts?

The Good:

1) Coffee contains nutrients which lower the risks of Type 2 diabetes.

2) Coffee can lower the risk of developing Parkinson's disease.

3) Coffee has been shown to speed up your metabolism.

4) Coffee is a mood enhancer.

5) Coffee has the potential to help prevent Alzheimer's.

6) Coffee can protect your liver.

7) Coffee can increase life expectancy. 

8) Coffee can reduce your risk for certain types of cancer.

9) Coffee gives you energy.

The Bad.

1) Coffee is a diuretic. 

2) Coffee can cause insomnia.

3) Coffee can worsen anxiety.

4) Coffee can cause heartburn, ulcers, and acid reflux.

5) Coffee can limit your body's absorption of vitamins and minerals.

6) Coffee can contain Acrylamide, which causes cancer.

7) Coffee can cause urinary/bladder problems.

8) Coffee can increase blood pressure.

9) Coffee causes dependency and has nasty withdrawal symptoms.

Fun fact: the time it took to read this article is how long the average person takes to chug three pots of cold coffee. Wait, average people don't do that?

Police Chief Adrian "Ottis" Garcia of Childress, TX received a letter from the Freedom From Religion Foundation, an atheist/skeptic group devoted to annoying low-ranking public officials across the country. In the letter, FFRF demanded that Chief Garcia remove the words "In God we trust" from all of his patrol cars. Garcia considered their demands and responded with his own letter. But he felt so strongly about it, he didn't just send it to them. He posted it to the CPD Facebook page for the whole world to see and and snicker at.

The text of the letter reads:

Dear Annie,

After carefully reading your letter I must deny your request in the removal of our Nations motto from our patrol units, and ask that you and the Freedom From Religion Foundation go fly a kite.

Respectfully,
Chief Adrian Garcia

Respectfully? Really? He just told her and her whole organization to go fly a kite! That's the most disrespectful leisure suggestion there is. Although some might say Garcia went too far, his post resonated with a lot of Facebook users who love law, order, and God. In fact, since it was posted less than 24 hours ago, it has accumulated more than 100,000 likes and more than 84,000 shares. That's a lot of believers.

Do you think Garcia's conduct was unbecoming of an officer of the law? Do you think FFRF should have been more accommodating in its own letter? Or do you think everyone in this story is a jerk? If so, you might be spending too much time on the Internet. You're right, but still.

Demi Lovato and Iggy Azalea are friends, and not in a have-lunch-on-occasion-to-catch-up type of way. They performed at the VMAs together before going home for a pizza and pajamas party. Lovato was there when Azalea got engaged. Azalea asked Lovato to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. They understand each other in a way that only famous people can. But how did they first meet? Lovato reveals in her cover article for Complex magazine that their whirlwind friendship began, of course, at Jennifer Lopez's Halloween party: 

We met at Jennifer Lopez’s Halloween party. I was dressed as Lucille Ball and Wilmer was Desi Arnaz. I’m kind of a little socially awkward when it comes to parties and going out because I feel like, unless you’re going to get fucked up, everybody’s awkward. Since I don’t do that anymore, and Iggy wasn’t drinking—she doesn’t do anything—I was kind of like, “Hey. I’m a big fan. I love your music.” We start talking, and it turns out that we’re neighbors and we didn’t even know.

Then I saw her at all the Jingle Ball shows. Then we got to actually hang, and we just became close. She’s so awesome. She’s very, very, very real. What you see is what you get. I think sometimes that pushes people away, but that’s what I admire about her. She’s the furthest thing from fake. In this entertainment business, that’s so hard to find with anybody. That’s why I don’t have any very famous friends. The very few that I do have are real.

What's craziest about this story is that the moment was captured on Instagram! Remember this?

In case it's not clear, Iggy is dressed as a White Chick (the Wayans kind, no the basic variety). It's like we were all there, really just feeling like we all get each other because we know what it's like to be a celebrity.

Zach Straley, also known a "Zeedude," also known as a dude who somehow has more than zero iPhones to drop in water for fun. Zach tested the iPhone 6s and the 6s Plus to see if they were waterproof. Unlike Samsung's new phones, the iPhone is not advertised as being waterproof. Turns out, they are! (According to this guy. Don't sue us.) In the video, he unboxes both phones, turns on their timers, and drops each of them in a bowl of water. He then takes them out after an hour and they're both still fully functional:

He released a follow-up video 48 hours after the experiment. The only "casualty" is a diagonal line running across the screen of the regular 6s, but besides that, they run fine.

Does it have the same effect when you accidentally drop it in a bowl of urine? Asking for a friend....