Disney and Lucasfilm are getting closer to casting the star of the upcoming Han Solo Star Wars prequel/spinoff. The film—which will hopefully feature a budding bromance between Han and Chewie— is set to premiere on May 25th, 2018. According to Variety, these are the hot guys in the running to strap on the iconic gun holster, none of whom are as handsome as Harrison Ford (but then again, nobody is). Still no word on the shortlist for young Chewie, but maybe the runner-up can get to play the co-pilot as a consolation prize.
To all these young men: May the Ford be with you.
Miles Teller
Having survived opposite J.K. Simmons in Whiplash, he could take on the scariest of villains.
Ansel Elgort
Star of The Fault in OurStar Wars?
Scott Eastwood
His dad is Clint, so he probably knows how to hold a gun.
Dave Franco
He's James's brother, so he's already comfortable with aliens.
Jack Reynor
He was in Transformers 4, which helps prepare him for Star Wars 10.
Logan Lerman
Known for The Perks of Being a Wallflower, he's probably ready for the change.
Emory Cohen
He was in Brooklyn, and he doesn't seem like a nerf herder.
Blake Jenner
He was on Glee, so he'd be all set if Han had a musical number.
There's a new member of the Kardashian/Jenner clan out there, but it's not a hot young woman with a very Instagram-able butt—it's Kirby Jenner, Kendall's fraternal twin! Sure, there's a pretty good chance that Kirby is just some guy who is truly excellent at Photoshop and self-marketing, but either way, he's nailing these posts:
You can follow Kirby on Tumblr or Instagram, where you'll be in the company of 60,000 other people who find the idea of a paunchy Jenner bro hilarious. The photos are incredibly well executed, whether you find them funny or not. Kirby's at Kendall's fashion shoots, in her "casual" at-home shots, and all the tabloid pics. His captions are generally hashtag-laden and self-deprecating, which explains why the rest of the family doesn't really understand him:
David Bowie, the best f*cking human, died yesterday at the age of 69, a very Bowie number, after an 18 month battle with cancer. Just two days before, he released the album Blackstar (technically spelled "★" because David Bowie does not need language), to rave reviews. And now, his producer Tony Visconti is saying that his last masterpiece was, indeed, a goodbye message from the pop genius.
He always did what he wanted to do. And he wanted to do it his way and he wanted to do it the best way. His death was no different from his life - a work of Art. He made Blackstar for us, his parting gift. I knew for a year this was the way it would be. I wasn't, however, prepared for it. He was an extraordinary man, full of love and life. He will always be with us. For now, it is appropriate to cry.
In particular, people are singling out the first two singles from Blackstar, "Blackstar" and "Lazarus," as specifically being about Bowie telling the world that he expected to die soon, with lyrics like "Something happened on the day he died / His spirit rose a meter and stepped aside" and "Look up here, I’m in heaven." Imagine: this artist knew he was going to die and decided to spend his last months making something gorgeous.
Here are the music videos for both songs, which further hint at themes of illness, death, unfinished work... and resurrection.
At the 2016 Golden Globes, when Denzel Washington accepted the Cecil B. DeMille award in recognition of his career, he brought his wife and three of his four kids to the stage. It's great that Washington won this honorary award and all that, but it's even greater that Washington's 31-year-old son, John David Washington, made it to the stage because John David can really pull off a tux.
Like his father, John David is an actor and he currently stars on the HBO show Ballers. Check him out in the show's trailer at 0:27:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ5NHO0kIjQ
To cap it all off, John David was also a pro footballer. He played for the St. Louis Rams and had a stint abroad for the German team Hamburg Sea Devils in the European Football League. That's attractive.
The big game is coming up on February 7th, and if you're already excited who will get licked or go pee pee on the field, then by "the big game," you're probably referring to The Puppy Bowl.
Finally some professional athletes you can respect!
When you're hardcore jonesin' for football playing pets, February seems impossibly far away, but relax. Animal Planet has rigged it so you can watch the future stars of Puppy Bowl XII right now, in real time, with their locker room puppy-cam. Warning: below is an insanely addictive live-feed of baby puppies. Prepare to never get any work done again.
http://www.apl.tv/puppies.htm
Puppy Bowl XII will feature 49 adoptable pups as players on #TeamRuff and #TeamFluff. In addition to the two-hour "game," there will also be a Puppy Bowl Pre-Game Show and a Kitty Bowl Halftime Show. This is literally the Superbowl of cuteness.
Aziz Ansari didn't expect to win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy Series last night (for his well-regarded series Master of None), so he went down the traditional Amy Poehler-inspired path of losing gracefully through funny props. Specifically, when the nominations for the award were announced, the camera cut to him reading a (sadly fake) book called Losing to Jeffrey Tambor with Dignity.
This reimagining from Jose Anaya of the Star Wars prequel trilogy as an episode of It's Always Sunny is less than a minute long, but it has an extremely nerdy origin story of its own. With The Force Awakens re-igniting fans' desires to emotionally process the scarring caused by midichlorians and Jar-Jar, mocking it is more popular than it has been in years, and it feels good. The video does misspell Tatooine, but nobody's perfect. Fortunately, it pretty much nails the feeling of a Sunny intro and the dark logic of the show:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZM__vY9DIw
This video has a prequel of its own, which you can find if you travel all the way back in time to the day before, when it was created by an artist named Scott on Tumblr (where he goes by the awesome name Squirrelbro).
The image spread far and wide, prompting Squirrelbro to since label the image with the tags "it came back around to my own dash" and "I hate my life why did I make this." Finally, Anaya saw it on Reddit, and realizing it was essentially the shortest storyboard in history, promptly delivered a video version. And now everyone is waiting for the rest of the episode. Impatiently.
It's awkward enough trying to make a new friend without having the entire thing filmed, but that's exactly what baby orangutans Gito and Asoka were subjected to during their recent introduction. Despite the paparazzi, the two apes, who live with International Animal Rescue, were able to have a tender first meeting, complete with hesitant kisses and a sly ass-scoping (around 1:08). Hopefully, after this moment of love at first sight, they'll go on to share a lifetime of laughter and romance together. Or they won't, because the idea of "love at first sight" is just a lie humans tell themselves to allay their fears of meeting the perfect partner, but not recognizing them as such until it's far too late.
In this somewhat chilling preview for the fourth season of the hit Netflix political drama House of Cards, Frank Underwood informs America that they will be voting for him for President (and you will be watching them do so, probably in one binge session). The video, which intercuts a speech from Underwood at his most Presidential (and threatening) with flashbacks from various scenes underlining his massive, personality-defining deceptiveness, would be effective even in a non-political year. As far as what the ominous promise that "we get the leaders we deserve" means here in the real world, well... in your heart, you know it's right.
I just didn’t know what was passing me, that’s all!
Did DiCaprio think it was maybe a bear or a scary theater ghost, so he needed to laugh and give it "I'm not afraid of you!" eyes? Or did he mean it like, "I didn't know what was passing me by," like he suddenly realized that he might be missing out on life by not dating women over the age of 25? The world may never know, at least not until Entertainment Tonight corrals him backstage again.
It's pretty impressive that Fallon got Trump to admit that he has a weakness, and that it's not being a perfectionist. Things got awkward when Trump said that his strength is "bringing people together," and the audience started giggling.
On the ninth anniversary of finishing the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling, modern master of Twitter and creator of childhood dreams, tweeted photographic evidence of the way she celebrated putting down the pen for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It seems that Rowling's mischievous characters have a bit of their creator in them, as Rowling's method for saying adieu to the series was, in her own words, "wrong."
Rowling ended the epic series by scrawling on a bust in her hotel room.
The beautiful scrawl reads: "J.K. Rowling finished writing Harry Potter + the Deathly Hallows in this room (552) on 11th July 2007."
Mischief managed.
The bust is of the Greek god Hermes, who is most well-known as a messenger with sweet winged shoes. This particular Hermes still hangs out in his home at The Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh, in the very same suite where Rowling ended the series. The suite is now known as the J.K. Rowling suite, and superfans can stay there for around $1,400 a night.
Staying in such an expensive room, it only makes sense that Rowling followed up her defiant act with some nice booze. "I downed a half bottle of champagne in the room fridge," Rowling tweeted.
I usually find out about people dying on Twitter these days, as it's one of the first places I check on my phone when I wake up in the morning. It's only been about fifteen minutes or so since I learned of David Bowie's passing there, and I'm reeling. And horribly sad.
69 years old. Goddammit. I know we're supposed to be positive in situations like this, but that's just seems too young to me. Fucking cancer.
Just a very short while ago Kevin Feige and I were talking about a cameo role in Guardians Vol. 2, and he brought up Bowie's name. I told him nothing in the world would make me happier, but I heard from common friends he wasn't doing well. We heard back that he was okay and it could potentially happen. Who knows what that was about? But, for whatever reason, it made my Twitter revelation more of a surprise.
I just "liked" some of the photos on his Facebook fan page last night.
Bowie was an idol of mine, huge and omnipresent. Few artists in any field have had as an indelible impression upon me as he has. To my mind, Ziggy Stardust is perhaps the greatest rock and roll album of all time. We featured "Moonage Daydream" in Guardians, but I always thought the album's character was felt far beyond that, in the aesthetics, in the integral and seemingly-natural linking in popular culture o '70's rock and space opera. I've been trying to work another song from Ziggy into the sequel, which would make Bowie the only artist to have a song on both Vol. 1 and Vol. 2. I thought this was fair and appropriate. Although I cut the scene it was used in from the script, we have the rights. Who knows. Maybe I can figure a way out.
It's also fair that I come clean that the use of "Life on Mars" in Breaking the Waves was one of the linchpins for me and the use of music in Guardians: much of what I did was imitating that perfect blend of oddness and familiarity, of irony and aptness.
My pop cultural connection to Bowie goes deeper as it was the music that was playing the night I hit bottom on alcohol and drugs as a very young person. I got sober that night, and those songs - "TVC15", "Star", "Suffragette City" - are now deeply embedded in my psyche. They all have a frightening, almost-religious context in my personal history. I'll have to save those stories for another time.
I wish I could be more eloquent, but I'm gutted.
Thank you, David, for all you've given to my life, my relationships, and my career. Thank you most for helping me to make it through high school. Your music let me believe there was something magic out there, I only needed to hold on a few more years to experience it. I'm glad I did.
And, especially, love to Duncan and the rest of the family. This is so difficult for all of us who loved the icon. I know it is infinitely more so for those who loved the human being.
"Duncan" refers to David Bowie's son, Duncan Jones, with his first wife Angie Bowie. Bowie has another child with his wife of 25 years, supermodel Iman.
Here's hoping they still use a Bowie song ("Starman," maybe?).
Amy Schumer's boyfriend Ben Hanisch is really knocking it out of the park in his first few weeks as the Internet's Favorite Boyfriend. First, he posted this sweet picture of him and his "babe" at the White House, and he even made sure she had the Washington Monument sprouting from the top of her head, which adds height and has an overall elongating effect.
Wow, he's racking up points left and right. Hot, supportive (really hot), and romantic (also super hot)? Ben Hanisch is definitely proving his worth. Five stars, would date again.
"People are remembering today what a phenomenal musician David Bowie was, and of course that was the case, he was just mind-blowingly talented," Conan said, "But in my experience, he was also an incredibly nice person. He was fun, he was always funny."
On the show, Bowie was not only funny and charming, but also showed off his impressions and musical improv abilities.
Another highlight in the Bowie-Conan chronicles are these deep and dark confessions, in which Bowie reveals the original lyrics to "Space Oddity" and what his true identity really is.
Imgur user Chickenismurder posted a photo of his sleeping girlfriend on Monday, and though that's usually the preamble for a very disturbing story, in this case there's a happy ending. The photo went viral with hundreds of supportive comments, and not just because she looks like a super cute bug in a rug:
He captioned this photo with:
It says:
My 38 year old girlfriend just started her second quarter of college. She's raised two kids, 15 and 10, on her own, has piss all parents and was the victim in not one but two domestic violence cases. This is how I found her tonight. I'm so proud of this woman I could burst. We went wedding ring shopping earlier today and I think I'm ready to make the best decision of my life.
FP Edit: Wow! I had no idea Imgur could be so amazing despite the forgotten cat tax! Thanks for all the kind words of support you guys! This woman profoundly inspires me and it sounds like she has many of you. Also, I'm gonna take all of y'alls advice and marry the shit out of her. Send me all your love stories.
The reference to the "cat tax" is a joke on Imgur about posts that are sappy or just plain sad. You must include cats if it's either of those things, to maintain Internet balance. This post is titled "right in the feels" but there are no cats to be seen anywhere! The commenters don't seem to care though, even if the content of a post about a sleeping woman derailed them from their original intentions:
Joe Biden revealed in an interview to CNN that President Barack Obama offered him financial assistance when Biden was determining how to support the family of his late son Beau. As Beau's health declined prior to his passing, he faced the prospect of resigning as Delaware's attorney general.
In order to financially help Beau and his family, Biden and his wife Jill were considering selling their own house in Wilmington, Delaware. But Obama wouldn't hear of it. Just as Biden has Obama's back in office, Obama has Biden's back in real life:
He said, 'I'll give you the money. Whatever you need, I'll give you the money. Don't, Joe—promise me. Promise me.' I said, 'I don't think we're going to have to anyway.' He said, 'promise me.'
Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.
It's no secret that Biden and Obama have a strong friendship that extends well beyond the Oval Office. Now everyone knows the true strength of that bond. In about one year, you can look forward to these two being retired best friends, visiting each other in Delaware and Hawaii. Hopefully mostly in Hawaii.
It's not that Ricky Gervais went out of his way to offend people during his fourth stint hosting the Golden Globes on Sunday, because offending people at the Golden Globes is just what Ricky does. So anyone who took to his Twitter feed looking for an apology about a particularly contentious Caitlyn Jenner joke was already in the wrong place. Here's Ricky's rant about why you shouldn't be offended by his joke. Naturally, it is seasoned with some flavorful NSFW language.
At this point, you probably want to see what slippery Ricky actually said to necessitate this formal sorry-not-sorry. Skip to :48 for the bit, and also for Queen Latifah's amusing unamused face:
