Last week, Kanye West was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, performing two songs from his new album The Life of Pablo onstage and an epic meltdown backstage. Page Six acquired and leaked the tape, where you can hear Kanye yelling "don't f*ck with me" at SNL staff, and proclaiming that he is "50 percent more influential" than a variety of famous figures, including Stanley Kubrick, Pablo Picasso, the Apostle Paul, and even Pablo Escobar. He also calls Taylor Swift "fake ass" (which seems pretty mild compared to their feud last week). It's surprisingly chill for a man with a song called "I Am A God."
The tirade apparently happened right before he went onstage. After he threatened to bolt, his wife Kim Kardashian had to back up SNL producer Lorne Michaels in calming him down.
Here's the rant, which should definitely be adapted into a rap remix.
This all leaked the same day Ye took to Twitter to address and apologize for his ego.
Perhaps Ye felt guilty about the SNL meltdown in particular, and is seeking penance for his public persona. The Apostle Paul, who he is undoubtedly more influential than, would be proud of his newfound humility.
"Radge" is British slang for a crazy person. They also call fries "chips" and elevators "lifts." Rowling responded to the hater by parodying lyrics to the rap song "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire:
That's right, it's Martin Shkreli, the most hated bro and (former) pharma CEO. He's also probably a Slytherin, and Chamillionaire lyrics are the only thing he has in common with the beloved J.K. Rowling.
Taylor Swift famously has a lot of BFFs, but Ed Sheeran might be among her best-BFFs, judging from an incredibly sweet note she posted on Instagram about the British pop star for his birthday yesterday. Swift helped make Sheeran famous in the U.S. by giving him a guest spot on her album Red, and making him the opening act of the tour for that album, but Kanye's current nemesis wrote that she was grateful for what Sheeran has done for her:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BB6QpQWDvCQ/
The caption reads:
Looking back on the highlights of my life, there's a moment I'll never forget from a day in London about two years ago. I was in town to play the O2 and I was out shopping on my day off. My friend Ed Sheeran met up with me in this little shop where I was buying ballet shoes. He walks in and says "you have to hear this new song. I think it's the best one I've ever written." And then, as usual, he pulls out his phone and gives me headphones. I sat there on a bench in that store and heard 'Thinking Out Loud' for the first time, as little kids were picking out tutus and leotards next to us. Little did we know it would go on to be first dance song at countless weddings all over the world, become Ed's biggest hit, and eventually go on to win him Song of the Year at the 2016 Grammys. Ed and I had been on tour together all year on the Red Tour and we saw each other almost every day. I lived for the moments he would burst into my dressing room with a new song to play me. It happened so often that it became normal, and I don't think he ever knew how much it meant to me that he wanted me to hear his songs first. I don't think he ever knew how inspired I was by his drive and passion to constantly create new art. But it's his 25th birthday today, so I'm saying it now. You deserve everything you have, and everything you will continue to achieve, Ed.
And an extra congratulations to the incredible Amy Wadge on your two Grammys.
Unrelated, but of course Swift buys ballet shoes for fun.
In a photoshop battle that's more provocative than humorous, the UK company Superdrug's online doctor service offered up a photo of one New Yorker for 19 graphic designers to manipulate as they pleased, BuzzFeed reported. The original image was sent to the 11 male and eight female designers from 19 different countries with the instructions to "Photoshop and retouch this man to make him more attractive to the people of your country."
The resulting 19 photoshops vary greatly in terms of body shape, hair style, and photoshop ability.
These five stand out in particular for their spins on the original dude.
Egypt's man looks like he works out, when not trimming his beard.
Russia's blonde man is noticeably barrel-chested.
The United States' guy is expectedly bland.
The project, the website shares, was initially inspired by the work of Esther Honig. In 2014, Honig sent out an image of her face to designers across the world. The photoshoppers got a little more colorful with Honig's face than the designers did with the male body.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT9FmDBrewA
Superdrug's photoshop project is itself a follow-up to a project regarding the female body, where once again graphic designers took more liberties with color.
Like with the man from Bangladesh, the Netherlands' woman stood out for her apparel of choice: boots. Though that's not exactly the biggest difference between those photoshopped images.
Adele hung out with Ellen DeGeneres Thursday morning and talked a lot about crying—crying with her son at Disneyland, and crying after her botched Grammy performance. While she was singing "All I Ask," technical difficulties caused her voice to briefly cut out, and to sound off-key. She explained, "the microphones fell onto the piano strings, which was what the guitar noise was."The brilliant, powerful-voiced Adele almost had it all, but the Grammys left her rolling in the deep.
Adele told Ellen that after the live TV disaster, she "cried pretty much all day," and treated herself to a much-deserved burger and beer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0A41LlIOTc
Because he's just so blamable, a lot of people online assumed that the technical difficulties were Justin Bieber's fault, but Adele set the record straight: "Some people thought it was Bieber rehearsing but it wasn't him—we're on great terms."
As the holiday of romance, Valentine's Day is the day many couples get engaged. For a few seconds, Jenny Davies thought she and her boyfriend Brad Holmes were about to become affianced. Nope.
Holmes regularly pranks people, and often the target is his father, which is why Holmes's social media pages are dubbed Brad's Dad. While he's made many prank videos, this "big question" vid is up there as one of Holmes's cruelest and cleverest ones.
In the end, Brad got his cuppa, though it wasn't exactly to his liking.
A girlfriend is tweeting every time her boyfriend says something in his sleep, and the resulting collection of tweets will make you happy that your subconscious isn't public. (Can you imagine if people knew about your sex dreams?) The tweets, which range from silly to offensive, prove that dreams are really, really weird, and that none of us have any control over them:
Grammy-performer Adele had some fun with Jamba Juice employees, with the help of veteran prankster Ellen Degeneres. Everything Adele said and did was directed by Ellen via ear piece. Ellen has done this bit with other celebrities on her show, and Adele is always up for helping out with a good prank on TV. The unsuspecting Jamba Juice employees were good sports about what seemed like a crazed, demanding Adele:
And now a few (extremely patient) Jamba Juice employees have a great story for the rest of their lives.
Kendall and Kylie Jenner released a new phone game on February 17 that appears to be essentially the same as their big sister's game, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood. To nobody's surprise, the Jenners' game, Kendall and Kylie, is doing quite well and on it's first day hit the top of the most popular free apps chart. The two sisters celebrated by sharing their joy on social media, but Kendall's tweet was soon mocked because it reveals she does not have Tidal.
As one can see, next to the Tidal app (which is apparently a popular download) is the "GET" icon. This means Kendall does not have the app. Her sister, on the other hand, does.
The Internet ate up Kendall's inadvertently revealing tweet because Tidal is a pet project of Kanye and is currently the only legal streaming method for listening to his new album.
Since tweeting that "there will never be a Kylie Puma anything," Kylie has signed on with Puma for a collaboration, People confirmed. So, to recap: Kendall doesn't have Tidal and Kylie is working with Puma. This does not bode well for Kanye's Twitter.
Straight from the department of most horrible decisions ever enacted by the hands of man, a baby dolphin was reported to have died after a group of beachgoers in Argentina reportedly pulled the endangered animal from the water so they could take selfies with it.
The baby Franciscan dolphin didn’t raise its fin to go crowdsurfing y’all.
The unruly batch of oblivious individuals had grabbed the Franciscan dolphin, a species which is commonly found near the coastal waters of southeastern South America, on the Santa Teresita resort in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
They passed the baby dolphin around and relentlessly snapped their cameras before grabbing two more of these innocent marine mammals out from the swell.
‘Snap, snap, pass’ was the only thing these tourists had in mind.
Can someone please put that dolphin back in the ocean?
Upon seeing Coria's images of the dolphins, the Argentine Wildlife Foundation immediately alerted the masses about how cruel and inhumane it is for people to snag these aquatic darlings from their natural habitat without realizing the terrifying consequences. They hope a situation like this will never reoccur.
"The Franciscan, like other species, cannot remain for much time out of the water. It has thick fatty skin which provides warmth, so the hot weather will cause rapid dehydration and death," a representative from the wildlife foundation wrote.
Only 30,000 Franciscan dolphins still prosper in the wild. And there are only 7 billion people in the world whose selfie etiquette is undeniably worrisome.
Franciscan dolphins are very hard to find and one of the tiniest dolphins in the world. According to the Daily Mail, "There are only around 30,000 examples thought to be left in the world."
Humans need to be reminded that dolphins are cool bros and will never pull you from the surface so they can caress you and use you for a new Facebook profile picture. Perhaps this hero dolphin rescuing a woman’s phone from the Atlantic ocean will convince you.
Actress and adorable lip syncer Kristen Bell never does anything wrong, but it has still irked fans for years that she isn't sharing more intimate details of her personal life on Instagram. Until now. The star of Veronica Mars and voice of Anna in Frozenfinally signed up for the photo-sharing social media site yesterday, and she kicked things off by sharing a charming photo of herself smooching husband Dax Shepard.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BB4EAiRKhgS/
The caption claims "I don't know how to use instagram but I do like this picture." Then, a few hours later, she followed it up with this precious pooch pic:
Anyone who has had the unfortunate experience to have their palms read by Megan Fox should know to walk away next time or ask for your money back. This past Wednesday night on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kimmel confronted Fox about a photograph of her carrying a palm reading book.
https://youtu.be/kJygwBb4Br8
Fox confirmed that it was her in the photo and said that she has done extensive research in astrology. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows actress went on to say that she is currently studying palmistry—ya know, "just for fun."
Megan, please stick to reading lines on a script and not on someone's hand.
The process of Fox analyzing Kimmel's hand was a little cringeworthy. "Your fingers are relatively close together, which suggests to me that maybe you're a control freak," Fox said, at which Kimmel laughed and told her that it could be true.
Can the Brazilian Megan Fox look-a-like read palms too? If so, she is probably better at it.
Prince tweeted his new passport photo last week, and he's still got it. Prince Rogers Nelson is 57 years old, but you would never know it from that picture. His gaze defies age. If Prince held that mesmerizing look for long enough, he could probably just teleport anywhere he needed to and wouldn't need a passport. But instead he blessed us with this gift:
Everyone hopes to travel the world and look that good in their late fifties. His beauty secret is cleansing himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka and/or purple rain.
Surprise packages are the best, even when they are inexplicably bizarre like the one Reddit user blooper2112 received from his dad. "I don't always get packages from my father but when I do..." blooper2112 titled the pictures of the mail his dad sent him.
The package consisted of a hatchet, a note written in all-caps, and a few dollars.
The note gave a little insight into the reason behind the package:
THIS IS MORE ABOUT WHETHER I CAN SEND AN AXE THROUGH THE MAIL OR NOT. EMAIL ME THE RESULTS.
FOR YOUR TROUBLE.
"And it's not even a shitty hatchet," duckmurderer commented. "That there's an Estwing, one of the best budget options for the casual camper." Plus there appears to be about $7 there. With the cost of the axe, plus shipping, blooper2112 cleaned up nicely by helping his dad.
