There’s no stopping Kanye West from expressing himself on Twitter—his wife wants him to go to therapy and Dr. Phil thinks he’s just doing it for publicity. Duh, it’s what the man does best. If you’re following Yeezus on Twitter, you know that yesterday he went all out to try and “fix” the Grammys. Then, he quickly switched gears and promised a new Ye album this summer. Take a look at what the the self-proclaimed "most important living artist" wrote on Twitter:

Kanye attacked Grammys president Neil Portnow for the way the awards are handled. He specifically targeted the Best Music Video award, which was given to his archenemy Taylor Swift for her song “Bad Blood.” He also thought that the director of A$AP Rocky’s “LSD,” Dexter Navy, had no chance in hell of winning the award.

The Louis Vuitton Don’s tweet went like this: “I don’t want to just fix the awards for me but I want to fix it for Dexter Navy who directed A$AP Rocky’s LSD video.” Shortly afterwards, he wrote: “Dexter didn’t feel he even had a chance of winning and he was right!!!”

And surprisingly, hours later, Portnow responded:

Looks like his rant paid off! No word yet on when a meeting between the two will occur.​

Back to the rant—Kanye goes on to remind the masses of how knowledgeable he is of the First Amendment:

Then out of nowhere, he reveals that a new album is coming this summer 2016: 

And finally, Kanye ends his Twitter rant in pure Kanye fashion:

In recent news, Khloe Kardashian said that Kimye banned her from giving a speech at their wedding because she's such a "talker." The irony is unreal.

From the moment Chrissy Teigen went public about how she chose to have a baby girl when undergoing IVF, Teigen was met with a hailstorm of hate. Disgruntled comments about her decision, which Teigen first revealed in aPeople interview, ranged from nasty to nastier:

"Am I the only one repulsed by this? Mother Nature has a way of keeping things in balance. Designer babies do not. 'Sorry boys you didn't make the cut,'" said the infamous Neil.

"That's disgusting. There goes what respect I did have for the woman. Totally disgusting," calmly chimed Mim.

People also went to Twitter with their opinions, some of which Teigen saw and felt compelled to answer. She began a slightly mammoth Twitter rant that spanned multiple flurries of activity in response to the discontent with her decision to prioritize embryo insertion on the basis of gender.

She chose to take on her haters with alternating frustration and humor:

She made it clear that, though she disagree with other people, they are entitled to their own ideas.

But she coudn't help herself from continuing to rag on those who would criticize.

After a bit of a break, Teigen returned to Twitter with more thought-out tweets that explain she and husband John Legend didn't quite choose to have a girl in the way many assumed.

In between fielding questions about her pregnancy, Teigen has been promoting her cookbook, Cravings. It does not include a recipe for submissively accepting Internet hate.

Yesterday at the Brit Awards, Lorde performed a tribute to the late David Bowie. She did Bowie's song "Life on Mars?" and absolutely crushed it. Bowie's son, Duncan Jones, heard about Lorde's tribute and was extremely grateful:

Here's Lorde's performance at the BRITs:

Lorde followed appearances by both Annie Lennox and Gary Oldman, who also honored the late rock legend during the BRITs presentation of the Icon Award.

It's a good thing for Lorde that Jones liked her performance. He threw some shade towards Lady Gaga after her Bowie tribute at the Grammys, perhaps because she was dressed up like a nightmare clown.

In case you've been stuck on Mars like The Martian, or sleeping in an animal carcass like The Revenant, the Oscars are this Sunday. And that means the return of Chris Rock, who will take his second turn as host, after his last stint as host more than a decade ago.

Rock's monologue and hosting segments at the 2005 Oscars show that he is definitely the right man for the job. Not only is he one of the greatest living comedians, his past appearance offers a look at how he might take on this year's #OscarsSoWhite controversy.

In 2005, Rock addressed a lack of diversity right out of the gate, "We have four black nominees... great... so it's kind of like the Def Oscar jam." (The camera then awkwardly cut to the four, including winners Jamie Foxx and Morgan Freeman).

Rock didn't only joke about celebrity culture, he also went political, which will be cathartic in this election year. He joked about Bush's recent reelection—with an extended metaphor that involved the Gap waging war on Banana Republic. And it worked.

A man-on-the-street bit took on #OscarsSoWhite before it was trending—and before hashtags were even a thing. Rock went to the Magic Johnson theater in Harlem to ask people about their favorite movies of the year, highlighting how out-of-touch the Academy and "prestige movies" are with the average viewer.

That divide has arguably gotten wider in the eleven years since.

Rock has been implicitly talking about #OscarsSoWhite his whole career, and is primed to take it on directly this Sunday. He's been teasing on Twitter his complete fearlessness, calling the ceremony the "White BET Awards."

Like he did in his 1996 HBO special, on Sunday night, Chris Rock will bring the pain. 

Because Russia is a place where things like this happen regularly, a Moscow teenager, Ruslan Schedrin, 16, has won an online contest that will let him live with a porn star for a month. According to Metro, the opportunity to move in with X-rated actress, Macy Ssens, real name Ekaterina Makario, has Schedrin "so happy" and "boiling inside" despite his mother's disapproval.

Ssens agreed to take part in a competition where the 100,000th visitor to a website (that the Daily Mirrorsays sells virtual weapons for video games) would live with her for 30 days. When someone asked the question everyone—especially Schedrin—was wondering about whether sex would be involved, Ssens replied, "It is not supposed, but life is life." The legal age of consent is 16 in Russia.

Schedrin was excited about winning, to say the least.

I saw her and I liked everything. She has got good sizes. I am looking forward to our meeting so much - everything is boiling inside me. I am happy so much. I have told my mother and she has taken it badly, but I think we'll sort it out. When I meet the girl, I'll say, 'Hi, I am that very boy, I've won you.'

The teen's mother, Vera Schedrina, isn't having it.

Such a prize - how could they get such an idea for a 16-year-old boy? I am shocked...I have not seen the girl, but my son must study.

Instead, Schedrina has proposed her son exchange the prize for a cash sum of 100,000 rubles ($1,000). Nice try, mom. Ssens empathized with the mother's concerns, and agreed to negotiate living and studying terms. LifeNews reports the actress also suggested the two could visit museums and even go see a movie, which would be a cute sight in its own bizarre way.

Not all is set in stone, as there may be some issues with Schedrin's eligibility. Metrosays the boy is listed on websites as a 14-year-old child actor. If that's true, the prize will go to someone of the legal age, or this whole uproar is (likely) just a very effective publicity stunt.

Last night on Conan, Mayim Bialik and Johnny Galecki recreated an awkward kiss from the 90s sitcom Blossom. They were on the Conan along with the rest of the cast from the Big Bang Theory, when Conan brought up that kiss from long ago. And it was indeed a long, long time ago, as evidenced by their early 90s attire and gangly teenage bodies.

But they only agreed to recreate that kiss on the condition that everyone else on the cast (shamelessly) kissed someone, too:

Looks like Kaley Cuoco almost had a wardrobe malfunction. Hopefully it was all worth it. Also, if you can accurately pronounce all three last names of the actors mentioned in this article, Someecards will send you a prize.*

*You will not receive a prize.

People often give fake names at Starbucks, because even though it's something a five-year-old would think is incredibly clever, simple pranks like that that never get old.

For their part, Starbucks employees—who are infamous for accidentally butchering names—rarely bat an eyelash. However, one barista massacred not only the name but the girl herself, for having the gall to say her name was Beyoncé.

Oh, hey, that barista sassed her good.

Assuming the employee actually did write that.

Despite being old, the Vine from user Jewish Jen is only now making the rounds, probably because Vine is a black hole of content. And because the Vine's hilarious. 

As incomprehensible as it seems, there actually is more than one Beyoncé in the world (though only one Queen Bey). A Humans of New York photo from last year went viral because the subject shares the well-known first name.

“Sometimes I hate my name because it always draws attention to me, and I’m not a very social person. My family moved this year from Pennsylvania. I was so scared the first day of school that someone would notice me. I wouldn’t even adjust my seat because I thought it would make a noise. One time I really had to cough, but I held it in. When the teacher started calling attendance, I got really nervous, because every time people learn my name is Beyoncé, somebody starts singing ‘Single Ladies.’ And some did, of course. But the second day of school wasn’t too bad. Because everyone knew my name.”

Hopefully she doesn't get "U. WISH" written on her cup when she goes to Starbucks. That'd be such a downer. 

Donald Trump, a man who sometimes makes headlines for saying not very smart things, received the Jimmy Kimmel treatment after professing his great love for, in Trump's words, his "poorly educated" voters.

The new Kimmel segment creates a Trump campaign ad written by and for those poorly educated supporters, who yearn for a "leeder" willing to fight both "terists" and dictators like Lil' Kim Jong Un. 

After his win in Nevada, it's certainly looking possible that Trump's third-grade vernacular will propel him to leeder of the free world. 

The 88th Annual Academy Awards are taking place on Sunday night. With that many narcissists trapped together in one room for three hours, something crazy is bound to happen. Here are 14 of the most shocking moments in Oscar history. 

1. Rob Lowe singing "Proud Mary" with Snow White in 1989.

It was so painful, Disney sued.

The entire opening number was a nightmare, but skip ahead to 5:05 for Rob Lowe's entrance. It's was cringeworthy even in the 80s, and that's really saying something.  

2. Bjork's infamous swan dress from 2001.

This dress was the butt (or beak) of many jokes, but in 2015, it made it into the MOMA. Take that, fashion police!  

3. Adrien Brody won Best Actor in 2003.

He immediately forced himself on Halle Berry. 

4. Roberto Benigni climbed on the seats when he won in 1999.

The Italian shocked and delighted everyone, except for the people he stepped on. 

5. Before she was Mrs. Pitt, Angelina Jolie had her tongue in another dude's mouth.

Here she is proudly frenching her brother on the Red Carpet in 2000. #neverforget

Jolie's acceptance speech fueled incest rumors even further. Her first words were, "I'm so in love with my brother right now," and the ending was even more cringe worthy.

6. James Cameron said he was king of the world when he won for Titanic in 1998.

This acceptance speech set the world record for most eye rolls in America. When Cameron obnoxiously yelled the over-quoted line from his movie, everyone was like, oh, we get it, this guy's a d-bag.

7. South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker dressed as J. Lo and Gwyneth Paltrow for the 2000 Oscars.

Yes, they were high on acid at the time.

8. James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted the Oscars in  2011.

People hated every single stinking second of it. 

9. A streaker crashed the 1974 Academy Awards.

Host David Niven was introducing Elizabeth Taylor when a nude dude ran on stage flashing his dong and, of course, a peace sign. It was the 70s after all. 

10. Jack Palance proved age ain't nothing but a number in 1992.

The senior citizen used his acceptance speech to prove he was the toughest SOB in Hollywood. He started his speech by saying, "Billy Crystal? I crap bigger than him." Then proceeded to do one-arm push-ups on stage. 

11. Jennifer Lawrence fell on her way to accept her Oscar in 2013.

It just made people love her even more, of course.

12. John Travolta introducing Idina Menzel as "Adele Dazeem" in 2014.

And so continued his transformation into the creepiest-looking and sounding person in Hollywood.

To make up for his blunder, Travolta returned the next year and was uncomfortably touchy. 

13. Neil Patrick Harris stripped down to his tighty-whiteys at the Oscars last year.

Anything to keep people from falling asleep after hours of boring thank-you speeches.

14. Cher's outfits, all of them. 

Oscar winner and lifelong badass Cher was the always the best on Oscar's worst dressed list. That's because Cher DGAF. 

Who will have everyone talking this year?  

Some pranks are sociopathic, some are out to prove a larger point, and some just aim to annoy older people, as seen in UK prankster Jack Jones' most recent video.

The clip below shows Jones approaching "old people" in public with a variety of requests that would freak any person out, regardless of age. He pretends he has bad gas, offers fake-out high-fives, and even tickles some sweet old lady under the neck (tickling without consent is probably some form of assault).

The reactions are very mixed, with some accepting it in good spirit (or asking for more tickles) and others rightly telling him to "fuck off." Hopefully there's an outtake where Jones takes a purse to the face from some tiny grandmother. 

Two months in, and this year is already looking great for Beyoncé—earlier this month, she graced the world with her stunning new song“Formation” and announced a world tour with the same name. Can it get any better for the BeyHivé? The answer is yes.

Sasha Fierce is back on the spread, and this time she dons glorious cornrows on the front of Garage Magazine’s “Issue 10.” Take a look:

Yoncé will discuss a wide range of topics in Garage, which covers contemporary art and fashion. The queen collaborated with artist Urs Fischer, who snapped the cover photo and more portraits inside.

The queen's stadium tour will begin this April 27 in Miami.

Everything about birthdays as a kid is amazing: you don’t need to plan it, you get presents, and the only work you have to do is blow out the birthday candles. Sounds easy, right? Well, America’s Funniest Home videos shows how difficult candle-blowing can be, especially for this toddler:

Poor kid. Noah desperately made every attempt to blow out the candle before the wax dripped over his delicious cake. His family cheered him on as he huffed and puffed. “Blow harder Noah,” they said.

When that didn’t work, a minute into the video, a relative suggested that he “blow like a dog.” Noah thought that was a fabulous idea so he immediately started barking. Super cute, but not exactly what the person meant. 

The video ends, and viewers are left with a cliffhanger: did Noah finally blow out the candle? The world may never know. 

Lady Gaga has been one of many celebrities—including Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Fiona Apple, Adele, and even Snoop Dogg—to come out in support of pop star Kesha's legal battle to stop working alongside her producer Dr. Luke, who Kesha claims sexually and emotionally abused her. And yesterday, Gaga showed her support for the #FreeKesha movement in a particularly cute way—by sharing an Instagram of the pair holding hands:

Gaga also Snapchatted a video where she affectionately kisses Kesha on the cheek:

And a screenshot of a supportive comment she made in response to a fan on Instagram:

Kesha released a statement yesterday thanking everyone for their support; undoubtedly, Lady Gaga's support was a large part of that. 

"Stories about the Führer's phallus have existed for over 60 years."

Anytime that's the first line of a Time story, you can thank your lucky fortune cookie numbers for the Internet. Because rumors of Hitler's"disfigured genitalia" recently resurfaced when "news outlets around the world reported the German dictator had a micropenis," the 92-year-old magazine paid a reporter to validate or discredit the rumors of the Fuherer's tiny junk. 

Unfortunately, Time didn't find the answer, but the publication is a great place to start on the "did Hitler have a micropenis?" Internet scavenger hunt. The ambiguous Time story will link you to an Independent headline, one that's about to become your favorite headline of all time: "Historian rejects claim Adolf Hitler had a micropenis." 

So where must you go for someone to just straight up tell you Hitler had a tiny dingus? Not too far at all. Just a click away to Raw Story, and their beautiful piece—"Hitler had a deformed micro-penis and only one testicle, medical records reveal." Naturally, they'll link you to a Gentlemen's Quarterly story, which takes the stance of defiant teenager with a flippant declaration, "So, It Turns Out Hitler Really Did Only Have One Ball." 

Then GQ will send you over to British tabloid The Telegraph, and their "German historian [who] claims to have discovered incontrovertible proof, in the form of medical records." No word of micropenis here, but they do talk to one Professor Peter Fleischmann of Erlangen-Nuremberg University who threatens to erect some incontrovertible proof.

Fleischmann explains how Hitler, after his failed Beer Hall Putsch, underwent a medical examination—records of which supposedly went to auction in 2010, got seized by the Bavarian government, and "have only now been properly studied," so says The Telegraph. 

And now for the results, from that illustrious tabloid. Drum roll please.

"Dr Josef Steiner Brin, the prison's medical officer's notes record 'Adolf Hitler, artist, recently writer' as 'healthy and strong' but suffering from 'right-side cryptorchidism.'"

Translation: "The testicle was probably stunted."

The Fuhrer's had a stunted ball! 

That is, according to some confiscated records sourced by a professor sourced by the Telegraph. 

As far as Raw Story's and other claims of "micropenis," that seems to come from a book called Hitler's Last Day: Minute By Minute. Cooler, regular-sized heads at the Huffington Post have prevailed to bring us this quote from the text:

Hitler himself is believed to have had two form of genital abnormality: an undescended testicle and a rare condition called penile hyposadias in which the urethra opens on the underside of the penis or, in some cases, on the perineum.

The HuffPo clarifies, "The condition is associated with 'micro-penis' formation."

Like Hitler's supposed micro-penis, it's not hard—to believe salacious rumors about history's most devastating fiend. But alas, it seems the truth will never really come out, definitively, about his dong.

Jamie Foxx said that he and Denzel Washington don't see the big deal about the #OscarsSoWhite boycott because, after all, they have Oscars, and they're black! The comments, made at the American Black Film Festival Awards in Beverly Hills, were probably in jest, especially since actors Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx comprise 50 percent of all African-American best actor winners. Yup, there are only four.

Foxx's advice to black actors upset that, for the second year in a row, there's no non-white acting nominees at the Academy Awards? "Act better."

"All these Oscar talks, I don’t even trip about that," he said, according to Us Weekly. "I mean, what’s the big deal? I was sitting at home with my Oscar, like 'What’s all the hubbub?' ... My friend said, 'Are you mad?' 'Um, kind of, but not really.' I started calling Denzel [Washington], and we just Instagrammed our Oscars together."

Apparently, the audience took these comments as a joke, so it's worth giving Foxx the benefit of the doubt here that these aren't his real feelings. 

Foxx won the best actor Oscar in 2005 for Ray. Denzel Washington took home the same award in 2001 for Training Day; previously, Washington won Best Supporting Actor for Glory in 1989.