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Yelp reviewers are going to town on Kern's Bake Shop after its owners refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple.

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Citing religious beliefs, the owners of Kern’s Bake Shop in Longview, Texas refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple's February ceremony, the Houston Chronicle reports. Some people are outraged with the baker's decision, and they've responded by harnessing the power of wit to drown the bakery's Yelp page in hilarious reviews.

The reviews suggest the bakery has some questionable ingredients.

One reviewer had only glowing things to (jokingly) say about the bakery's attitude towards gays.

Another review felt the bakery was a little too LGBT friendly.

Someone else has pointed out that the bakery is quite inclusive of non-Christians.

Ben Valencia—who's part of the couple the bakery denied—spoke with The Longview News-Journal about the incident. "It just kind of makes you feel dehumanized," Valencia said. "I was more like saddened by it, because that is the first time anything like that has happened to me."

Bakery owner Edie Delorme—a co-owner with her husband David—also spoke with the paper. She explained that it's the bakery's policy to not bake cakes for homosexual weddings. Delorme even said that she would not bake a cake for the wedding of her nephew, who is gay.

A fair share of the Yelp reviews actually supported the bakery, but those aren't as funny.

The pro-bakery reviews are seriously lacking in fart jokes.

Some dude took advantage of Burger King’s slogan and ordered a burger with over 700 pickles.

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Consuming anything from Burger King is a potentially unsettling experience, and earlier this week the regal fast food chain yet again proved themselves capable of making something you wouldn't want to eat. What grotesque bastardization of a sandwich has the burger despot grilled up now, you ask?

A Whopper with over 700 pickles on it.

 

パねェェェエエエーーーッ!

A photo posted by PKサンジュン (@p.k.sanjun) on

P.K. Sanjun, a writer from Japan's Rocket News, took Burger King's slogan, 'Have it your way,' to heart (quite literally, depending on how much of this he ate) and forked over 10,000 yen ($89) for a double Whopper with as many pickles as they'd give him, which turned out to be 718.

 

みんなピクルスが大好きさ。

A photo posted by PKサンジュン (@p.k.sanjun) on

This bad boy clocked in at 3.75 pounds and will supply Sanjun's office with enough pickles to last at least a day or so.

The pickle castle isn't the first time Sanjun has tested the limits of Burger King's offerings, having previously ordered Whoppers with 1,050 pieces of bacon, 1,000 slices of cheese, and 100 slices of grilled onions. The man is decadence incarnate.

Watch one poor guy try to eat the aforementioned bacon sandwich below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugIDfvUpcwY

Oh, no. The Internet is arguing about the color of this jacket.

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Last year, a dress—#TheDress—drove the world into turmoil. Lion lay down with lamb. The falcon could not hear the falconer. And we were all consigned to a fiery lake of burning sulfur

But the Book of Revelation foretells that the apocalypse doesn't come as a great flood; it comes in waves. And so the second wave is upon us. Today, on the one year anniversary of #TheDress, the Internet found another article of clothing with ambiguous coloring. The jacket:

"I hate to make a new blue/black white/gold dress meme," wrote the Tumblr blogger who first posted this image, "but my friend has this jacket and she says it’s white and blue but i see black and brown pls tell me what you see."

Darkness covered the earth.

What color is this jacket?

Article 2

Jimmy Kimmel finds out which non-existent films people think deserve an Oscar this year in latest 'Lie Witness News.'

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Jimmy Kimmel Live's latest edition of Lie Witness News found that several completely fake movies are receiving strong Oscar buzz from a few of L.A.'s most dishonest passersby (or people lying about it just to get on TV).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPolswcX1Mg

Citizen Kane 2starring Kevin James may not exist, but if anyone had the power to take up the mantle of Orson Welles, it's this guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC2TZm705j4

Mark Zuckerburg calls out Facebook employees for crossing out 'Black Lives Matter' on company's wall.

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The #BlackLivesMatter movement started in 2012 as a result of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin's death. Since then, the movement has worked tirelessly to expose police brutality, racial profiling, and racial inequality experienced by African Americans.

#BlackLivesMatter has some vocal opponents, however. Folks in the #AllLivesMatter movement have criticized the aforementioned group for directing their attention to injustices done to only African Americans. But many believe that the #AllLivesMatter movement is rooted in racism. For example, U.S. representative Keith Ellison said that “When you say ‘all lives matter’ you are ignoring centuries of institutionalized American racism."
 And this past November, individuals beat up a Black Lives Matter protester in Alabama during a Donald Trump rally. In this video, you can hear one of the Trump supporters scream "all lives matter.”

Recently, Facebook employees in Menlo Park, California showed their support for the latter movement by doing something that pissed off their boss, Mark Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg posted a memo on the company's private Facebook page where he revealed that some unnamed employees have been scratching out “black lives matter” on the company's renowned wall and writing “all lives matter" instead.

According to Gizmodo, "the company, whose staff is only 2 percent black, is facing the issue head on." Here is Zuckerberg's entire memo, which was obtained by Gizmodo:

“We expect everybody to treat each other with respect,” wrote Zuckerberg. "Regardless of the content or location, crossing out something means silencing speech, or that one person's speech is more important than another's." Let this be a lesson, employees: if there's one thing you should have learned from Facebook, it's that when you disagree with someone's politics, you should just leave an inflammatory comment on their online Facebook wall. 

The 11 best faces celebrities ever made after losing an Oscar.

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The Oscars are on Sunday, and there are plenty of reasons to watch. Chris Rock's jokes, dramatic fashions, and of course, the faces of the losers. You've heard countless celebrities say it's an honor just to be nominated, but every now and again you'll catch a flash of jealous rage on their faces when they hear the bad news, before the fake smile returns again. ​Here are the best loser faces in Oscar history.

1. Sally Kirkland's face when Cher won the Oscar in 1988.

Just try not to have flashbacks to high school.

Also, it looks like someone tasered Meryl Streep.

2. Kathy Bates's face when she lost to Catherine Zeta-Jones in 2003.

She gave her best Misery face.

Queen Latifah fist-pumps and mouths "Yes." Did anyone ever tell her she lost?

3. When Helena Bonham Carter lost to Melissa Leo in 2011.

She looks like a little league coach who's still going to take the whole team to Dairy Queen after the game, even though they suck.

"We'll get em next time, you guys."

4. Jessica Lange's awesome eyebrow lift when she lost to Sally Field in 1985.

If only there was a video of her face during the annoying "You really like me" acceptance speech that followed.

Jessica used this gif as her audition tape for American Horror Story.

5. Lauren Bacall's WTF moment when she lost to Juliette Binoche in 1997.

She's not the only one who was surprised. The other three nominees looked shocked, then sort of confused/happy. Like that face you make when you find out your parents are getting a divorce, but then you realize that means two Christmases.

"Wait, I think you mispronounced 'Bacall.'"

6. When Bill Murray lost to Sean Penn for Best Actor in 2004.

Murray kept it real with his death stare.

Greatest acting challenge of all: pretending to not hate Sean Penn.

7. Burt Reynolds looking none-too-thrilled for Robin Williams in 1998.

He did the same sarcastic clap everyone did when they saw his spread in Playgirl.

How do you not love Robin Williams?

8. Michelle Williams not being impressed with a pregnant Natalie Portman in 2011.

9. Samuel L. Jackson's easily-read lips when he lost to Martin Landau in 1995.

This is actually the least pissed off Samuel L. Jackson has ever been.

"Shit."

10. Talia Shire's barely concealed hatred when she lost to Faye Dunaway in 1976.

Things were a little less fake in the 70's.

11. Cate Blanchett's over-the-top reaction that nobody bought when Marion Cotillard won in 2008?

She looks like Oprah just told her she was getting a car.

The pained expression on Julie Christie's face is much more believable.

Some people frown upon the bitter loser face, but it's kind of refreshing to see some actual emotions come out of these people.


This is (probably) what Leonardo DiCaprio will say when he finally wins his Oscar.

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The Oscars are on Sunday, which will finally reveal the answer to the question on everybody's mind: "Is this Leo's year?"

leonardo dicaprio mash up oscar reaching
It's been a long journey.

The pundits closely following this race have declared a Leonardo DiCaprio win to be inevitable. This time, instead of making his well-practiced gracious loser face, he may actually take the stage and speak.

After years of waiting and losing to acting luminaries like Jamie Foxx and Matthew McConaughey, this is probably what he will say when he takes the stage:

Wow. What? Me? Who would have thought? [ACT SURPRISED. You just won an Oscar for acting. This will be your greatest challenge yet.]

I am so humbled, and so, so grateful, but kindly request you don't dare play me off.

First and foremost, I owe everything to Martin Scorsese. As I am privileged to stand before you, I want to use my time on stage to implore you to help the victims of the recent tsunami in the Indian Ocean.

[Beat.] Oops, this is my speech for The Aviator.

It has been a long, slow march to this podium, and I have so many people to thank for leading me on this journey. Tonight is about our fearless leader, Alejandro González Iñárritu​, whose work is as intricate and complex as his name.

While freezing to death in Titanic didn’t even get me a nomination, it was almost freezing to death in The Revenant that made this dream come true. Had I known this was the way to win, I would have crawled into a horse carcass years ago.

I would also like to thank my current 24-year-old girlfriend. Here's to another great year together, at most.

Tonight is so much bigger than me—it's about anyone who has ever had a dream. Reach for it. Challenge yourself. And even if you feel systematically slighted after decades of generation-defining work, regardless of your field, eating a bison liver might just finally get you the respect you deserve.

leonardo dicaprio mash up oscar
Memes really do come true.

If you didn't already hate Gordon Ramsay, wait until you hear what he had to say after trying Girl Scout cookies.

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After 15 seasons of his show Hell's Kitchen, there is pretty much no one left who doesn't hate Gordon Ramsay with a passion. But just in case there happen to be a few folks left without an opinion, this clip of Ramsay trying Girl Scout cookies for the first time on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night should fix that.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI_LQ5lR4gU

Kimmel warns Ramsay that "this is almost like sacred territory you're entering here, okay? There's the American flag, and there's Willie Nelson, and then we have Girl Scout cookies." 

Ramsay starts with the peanut butter Tagalongs, which he says look like "dog biscuits" (okay, fair enough). Next he tries one of the coconut Samoas, which he describes as "a bit weird," and then spits out. Watch it, you lousy Brit, that's our country you're spitting out. Last are the Thin Mints, which he says are "like a cheap After Eight dinner mint," at which point Kimmel flips his whole desk and punches Ramsay right in his goddamn English face. Okay, that didn't happen, but IT SHOULD HAVE. Deport this man immediately. 

That is not the face of a man who is impressed with America.

Girl finds proof that Hillary Clinton loves ISIS! Well, she loves Isis, because Isis was the name of her cat.

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In news that should surprise no one, Hillary Clinton is a cat person. You might remember Socks Clinton, the White House cat who Hillary wrote an actual book about (well, it's a collection of kids' letters to White House pets). OK, stay focused—Hillary also had a cat when she was growing up. And unfortunately, that cat didn't have a cute name like Socks. That cat was named Isis.

https://twitter.com/carlycarioli/status/702934079570898944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

"Here we pose in our 1959 Easter finery with our cat, Isis," writes Clinton in her autobiography, Living History. Or, as Donald Trump will soon summarize: "Hillary Clinton is soft on ISIS. She pets it and gives it milk." 

The Rodhams aren't the only ones who thought to name a pet Isis, as Downton Abbey fans know. In a Fox News article from 2014, a writer had to report that the "faithful lab from 'Downton Abbey' isn't being killed off because she shares the same name as a terrorist organization...."

Could this be the reason Hillary won't say she'd carpet bomb ISIS into oblivion?

Basically: Isis is a name. Even Bob Dylan knows that.

Illustrator Frances Cannon uses Instagram to celebrate all women's bodies, no matter what they look like. (NSFW)

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23-Year-old illustrator Frances Cannon has created a series of illustrations to remind women of how beautiful they are, no matter their sexuality or body shape. She urges people to reject society's standards of beauty and just embrace their bodies.

“Growing up, I was forever comparing myself to other girls that I knew,” Cannon told Buzzfeed. “This fostered a very negative view of my body. I was always wishing that I was blonde, blue eyed, and thin.” Instead of feeling degraded, the artist decided to use her talent to encourage body positivity. Now, she shares her work on her Instagram account.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBCjrj0DCAS/https://www.instagram.com/p/BCCxa0ZjCAf/?taken-by=frances_cannonhttps://www.instagram.com/p/BB_v4pVjCHT/?taken-by=frances_cannonhttps://www.instagram.com/p/BBvsGc0DCMM/?taken-by=frances_cannon

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBO54jjDCHG/?taken-by=frances_cannonhttps://www.instagram.com/p/BBUK9vWDCL_/?taken-by=frances_cannonhttps://www.instagram.com/p/BBYfAzijCJP/?taken-by=frances_cannonhttps://www.instagram.com/p/BBXAf5rDCEl/?taken-by=frances_cannon

Cannon told DazedDigital.com: ”All my drawings are daily reminders (to myself and to others) that it’s ok to have bodily functions, it’s ok to have emotions, it’s ok to have bodies that are different or that society doesn’t consider beautiful. It’s ok to be human.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BA-vqcnDCD9/

Mom uses her adorable kids to recreate images from the Oscar Best Picture nominees.

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For the past few years, Maggie Storino has had a quirky family tradition that easily bests the typical annual family portrait. Storino photographs her daughters recreating stills from the year's Oscar nominees for Best Picture, with rather adorable results. For this year's installation of the Don't Call Me Oscar photo series, Storino's young girls—Sophia, aged 5, and Sadie, aged 3—had a new face to share the camera with: 8-month-old Sloane. Sloane makes a pretty cute Matt Damon, which is saying something. 

Room

The true story of two siblings forced to spend time together.

Spotlight

Curious girls look into allegations that nap hours will be further reduced.

The Big Short

A small group of underdog children take on their school's ever-growing lemonade market.

Max Max: Fury Road

Gang of toddlers terrorizes neighborhood and steals milk.

Brooklyn

A fashionable girl transfers kindergartens only to second-guess her choice.

The Martian

SPACE.

Bridge of Spies

Daring children plot how to sneak dessert before dinnertime.

The Revenant

Young girl survives night terrors with aid of trusty stuffed animals.

Jennifer Garner breaks her silence about Nannygate and throws some Southern shade at Ben Affleck.

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Jennifer Garner seems like a pretty private celebrity most of the time, so the Internet is in love with her new interview in March's Vanity Fair, in which she talks about her divorce from Gone Girl villain Ben Affleck. (He was the villain of that movie, right? That's the right reading of that movie?) She even addresses THE NANNY he was maybe cuckolding her with (allegedly).

Bennifer 2.0, in more innocent times.

The lovely actress said that her time post-Bennifer has been a "year of wine." "It was a real marriage," she said. "It wasn't for the cameras. And it was a huge priority for me to stay in it. And that did not work."

That's so sad! Don't you just want to reach out to Garner, hug her, and tell her that someday, she'll find another role that rewards her appealing mix of strength and vulnerability like Juno, Alias, and 13 Going on 30 did?

As for the nanny:

Let me just tell you something. We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes. It’s not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives.

That comes close to a confirmation that Ben Affleck was cheating on her with the nanny (something he still denies, according to Vanity Fair) without saying it outright. Tactful as f*ck, Elektra!

Still, Garner and Affleck are apparently still very close, which is kind of sweet (he even still lives on the same property as her—in the guest house). She called him "the love of my life," and said that if she had to go back in time, she'd still marry him. She explained:

It’s not Ben’s job to make me happy. The main thing is these kids—and we’re completely in line with what we hope for them. Sure, I lost the dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter’s wedding. But you should see their faces when he walks through the door. And if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly, then you’re going to be friends with that person.

But she still made fun of his horrible phoenix tattoo. "You know what we would say in my hometown about that? 'Bless his heart.' A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario? I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes."

It's important to note that Garner is from West Virginia, where "Bless his heart" translates to "f*ck you."

This Canadian sailor made history with the first same-sex male kiss for the Canadian Navy.

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There is a tradition in the Canadian Navy where, after a long journey at sea, one sailor is permitted to get off the ship first and kiss their significant other. That sailor is chosen through a raffle. And this week, Master Seaman Francis Legare of the HMCS Winnipeg not only won the raffle, but made history.

After docking in Victoria, Legare exited the ship and gave his partner Corey Vautour a huge smooch. It was the first “first kiss” in the Canadian Navy between a male same-sex couple.

https://youtu.be/s3U31_XsUeQ

“It’s a very positive thing,” acting sub-lieutenant Kyle Reed told The Star. Reed also noted that this was not the very first same-sex first kiss in the Canadian Navy; there was a female same-sex first kiss in 2015. 


Gigi Hadid has a nip slip on the runway, handles it like a pro.

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Supermodel Gigi Hadid was doing her thing on the runway at Milan Fashion Week on Friday when her incredibly expensive Versace gown failed to fulfill one of its basic functions and exposed her right breast. Unfortunately, because it was a fashion show, there were people there with cameras, and the entire wardrobe malfunction was captured for posterity.

https://twitter.com/JustJared/status/703337355659186176

To her great credit, Hadid didn't let the incident faze her. A witness told Page Six that the model and squad member had to walk half the (extremely long) runway with her nipple hanging out.

But her mature attitude is no surprise—the 20-year-old is more than used to being body-shamed by trolls, and she always stands her ground. She's probably laughing about it with her unbelievably famous friends right now. She even responded to the incident on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/GiGiHadid/status/703328925255073794?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Look at that. She's even brand-conscious. What a pro.

Kesha's lawyer shares clip of new song. It's an excellent reminder that Kesha has a very good voice.

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Due to the rejection of her injunction last weekend regarding her ongoing case against Dr. Luke, it's unlikely that Kesha will be gracing her fans with new music any time soon. But despite all her (very emotional) legal issues, Kesha still has creative energy in her. In a :27 second clip her lawyer Mark Gergaros shared on Twitter, Kesha sings her praises for her supporters. Kesha previously shared words of thanks, and while they were poignant, this clip is downright lovely.

https://twitter.com/markgeragos/status/703272146676686848

"Oh, I don't know what I would do without you / I don't know where I would be without," Kesha sings oh so beautifully before the video cuts off. Boo. More please.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBqWrY6u1Sz/?taken-by=iiswhoiis

One day, maybe, that clip will turn into a full song. Hopefully sooner rather than later because there are only so many times one can listen to "Your Love Is My Drug" (many, many times, but still, there's a limit).

Someone made a hilarious Tumblr imagining the home life of Han Solo and Kylo Ren.

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Tumblr user mamalaz has been creating and posting absurd, hilarious scenes imaging the home life ofStar Wars characters Han Solo and Kylo "Ben" Ren at home together. The series is called "The Modern Adventures of Han and Ben," and in it, Han is just a regular dad trying to raise his moody teen son, Ben.

Ben, who prefers to go by "Kylo, Dark Lord of the Knights of Ren," would rather be living the life of a Sith lord (what teenager wouldn't?).

The posts are made up gifs of Harrison Ford and Adam Driver in other movies and shows, put together in comic-book-like panels.

Sometimes the scenes have other characters, like Luke and Leia.

But mostly it's just the two of them, getting on each other's nerves.

Maybe if it gets popular enough, they'll do a whole movie like this.

You can see more on Tumblr.

This photo shows the exact moment that Taylor Swift met boyfriend Calvin Harris.

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It isn't often that you get to see important moments in the lives of celebrities (apart from their award speeches), so this photo supposedly showing the moment that pop star Taylor Swift met her boyfriend Calvin Harris is pretty remarkable. Musician Max Will says the Instagram photo shows singer Ellie Goulding introducing Swift to Harris at the Elle Style Awards last year:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCOesElJyXk/?taken-by=max.will.makes.music

The photo is unmistakably of the celebrities, and Goulding really does look like she's introducing Swift to the DJ she would soon start dating. The timeline matches up, too—the 2015 Elle Style Awards was in February of last year, and Swift and Harris started dating around March. 

Anyway, happy anniversary, Taylor Swift! May your continued romantic bliss keep Kanye West from being creepy for a little bit

This girl had the world's best excuse for not having her homework.

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A few months ago, a girl went to school with a note her parents wrote excusing her for not having her homework, and as far as explanations go, it's probably a lot better than any of yours. Take a look:

It reads:

Please give Maddie one more day to complete her homework. We had some big family news and did not get to this. :)

Her grandpa won the Nobel Prize in chemistry!

The Mirror reported that Maddie's grandfather is Tomas Lindahl, who won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry last year with Paul L. Modrich and Aziz Sancar. But even with this seemingly ironclad excuse, some people on Reddit, where the note was originally posted, were not impressed.

Maddie apparently has a lot to live up to.

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