Jon Lovitz and Jessica Lowndes announce relationship, call out haters in series of puke-worthy Instagrams.

March 28, 2016, 7:13 am

≫ Next: Dave Chappelle made fun of Caitlyn Jenner, made it very awkward for Kylie in the crowd.

≪ Previous: Panda taking a bubble bath in a too-small tub will make you briefly stop picturing Ted Cruz naked.

Two humans by the name of Jon Lovitz and Jessica Lowndes are in a serious May-December relationship, according to People, and Jessica Lowndes is ready to shout about it from the rooftops of the Internet.

For reference (because these names must be unfamiliar to some/most people), Lowndes was on 90210—the remake, not the good one—and is 27. Jon Lovitz is a 58-year-old comedian and actor whose picture you will likely recognize.

Since his girlfriend is a Millennial, she's all up on the Instagram and has been teasing their relationship, while also calling out "haters"—even before revealing Lovitz as the one she's going out with.

Instead of haters, this relationship deserves only a puke bucket. Because these Instagrams are worse than anything Kylie and Tyga have posted.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDWM5u7nwlk/?taken-by=jessicalowndes

His [car emoji]

That's his car. It is a nice car.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDTRcmIHwq2/?taken-by=jessicalowndes

I LOVE itz

Get it? Lov"itz." Like, Jon Lovitz.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDWZejNHwvN/?taken-by=jessicalowndes

His hands are wise and tell a thousand stories... #smitten #hatersgonnahate

Well, that's the most uncomfortable celebrity Instagram that's been seen in some time. Presumably, those are Jon Lovitz's hands on Lowndes' body.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDWgM7uHwtE/?taken-by=jessicalowndes

You say sugar daddy but I say ice cream daddy! Lol #SweptoffMyFeet #ExtraSprinklesPleaseDaddy

And there's the creepiest use of a hashtag.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDWjk7knwkl/?taken-by=jessicalowndes

Being happy never goes out of style

Neither does feigning coyness.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDbjAoTnwpv/?taken-by=jessicalowndes

When bae films you waking up in the morning...#TooOldToUseHashtags #MrBig

Please let that Mr. Big hashtag be an unjust Sex and the City comparison.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDYe10lnwsb/?taken-by=jessicalowndes

It appears this couple is engaged, which is a first for both parties. It certainly appears that Lowndes wants the whole world to know about their relationship and get some sweet publicity. Damn, played right into her trap.

↧

Dave Chappelle made fun of Caitlyn Jenner, made it very awkward for Kylie in the crowd.

March 28, 2016, 7:30 am

≫ Next: Tiny, fierce 3-year-old gymnast backflips her way into Ellen's heart.

≪ Previous: Jon Lovitz and Jessica Lowndes announce relationship, call out haters in series of puke-worthy Instagrams.

On Saturday at the Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles, Dave Chappelle made fun of Caitlyn Jenner with Kylie Jenner in the audience. People at the show report that Chappelle spent several minutes joking about Caitlyn prior to her transition. He recalled how, as an Olympic track athlete in the 1970s, she was like a "Superman" who was "beating Africans" in competition.

As for Caitlyn's transition, Chappelle joked he knew something was up after an encounter with Kanye. "I said, Kanye ... why the long face? And Kanye replied, 'Man, you'll see.'"

Kylie was at the show with her boyfriend/boo/slam piece, Tyga. TMZ reports that people at the show saw Tyga laugh, while Kylie was not a fan of the bit and did not.

While it's not surprising that Kylie wouldn't find it funny, it could also be that all that surgery and makeup prevents her face from moving. A Jenner—or Kardashian—might be laughing hysterically and you'd never know it.

↧

Tiny, fierce 3-year-old gymnast backflips her way into Ellen's heart.

March 28, 2016, 7:43 am

≫ Next: North West and Penelope Disick play make-believe as Kylie and Kendall in prophetic new Instagram video.

≪ Previous: Dave Chappelle made fun of Caitlyn Jenner, made it very awkward for Kylie in the crowd.

Emma Rester, a three year-old gymnastics prodigy from El Paso, Texas, back-flipped her way into Ellen Degeneres' heart during a very impressive appearance on The Ellen Show. Even on a steady diet of Hershey's Kisses, given to her by her overseas army dad, this child traverses bars and backbends with ease. With nearly 75,000 followers on Instagram, Emma is living proof that the world loves abnormally strong children.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAxvK2aGtQU

Emma wasn't lying when she said she wasn't afraid to fall; watch her laugh off a flopped kart-wheel below.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC5fAKjH9LG/

↧

North West and Penelope Disick play make-believe as Kylie and Kendall in prophetic new Instagram video.

March 28, 2016, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Kim Kardashian threw Chrissy Teigen a baby shower, but decided to go cheap with the catering.

≪ Previous: Tiny, fierce 3-year-old gymnast backflips her way into Ellen's heart.

Over the Easter weekend, Kylie Jenner posted a video of nieces North West and Penelope Disick playing pretend—pretend Jenner, that is, because "pretend Jenner" is the new "pretend Princess." In the video, two-year-old North West asserts herself as Kylie, before three-year-old Penelope claims to be Kendall and scooters off deeper into the labyrinth of a Kardashian mansion.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDcXKvynGlS/?taken-by=kyliejenner

Little Kylie & Kendall. This is the cutest thing ever

And to think that not long ago, 18-year-old Kylie and 20-year-old Kendall were children themselves.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCF-7gIDo7z/

How far they—and their pouty lips—have come.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAkZ3NQHGno/?taken-by=kyliejenner

In a few years, that'll be North and Penelope.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_ph5zauS68/?hl=en

Plus, there's six-year-old Mason Disick and one-year-old Reign Disick. Never forget, there's a whole new Kardashian generation gaining an education in Internet domination.

↧

Kim Kardashian threw Chrissy Teigen a baby shower, but decided to go cheap with the catering.

March 28, 2016, 8:10 am

≫ Next: Article 36

≪ Previous: North West and Penelope Disick play make-believe as Kylie and Kendall in prophetic new Instagram video.

On Saturday, Kim Kardashian threw BFF Chrissy Teigen and her husband John Legend a baby shower. And since it was a Kardashian event, there are tons and tons (and tons) of photos of the party all over social media. The shower's famous guests included: Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian, their mom Kris Jenner, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, Khloé's BFF Malika Haqq, and hairstylist Jen Atkin. Tiegen's husband John Legend even braved a roomful of ladies to be there.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDb-QFvpjWD/

Of course, the event had its own Snapchat filter.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDbdsu-LB82/

Oh, those McDonald's french fries in Kourtney's hand? That was part of the catering, which featured other McDonald's goodies, to satisfy Chrissy's baby cravings.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDbatyTLB0p/

The desserts featured little cut-outs of baby John Legend's head on them.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDbjU0Ul19l/

That's a pretty sweet cake (no pun intended).

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDcSPx3m-ID/

Um. What even?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDb-fwipjWd/

The mom and dad to be.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDcGDa2kSmp/

How frickin' gorgeous is this baby going to be? There will be an agent in the delivery room with pen and contract in hand, ready to sign that infant up before it's even cleaned off.

↧

Article 36

March 28, 2016, 8:30 am

≫ Next: Daniel Radcliffe posts adorable, pre-wizard throwback photo to when he and Neville were two little wrestling fans.

≪ Previous: Kim Kardashian threw Chrissy Teigen a baby shower, but decided to go cheap with the catering.

↧

Daniel Radcliffe posts adorable, pre-wizard throwback photo to when he and Neville were two little wrestling fans.

March 28, 2016, 8:40 am

≫ Next: Sports anchor on a livestream gets text that his wife's in labor, takes his sweet time leaving.

≪ Previous: Article 36

Daniel Radcliffe posted a throwback pic of himself and Harry Potter costar Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom) at a WWF wrestling event. The pic was taken just days before they began shooting the first Harry Potter movie, but Radcliffe posted it to help plug Lewis's recent appearance in the second season of Happy Valley on Netflix.

Radcliffe posted the throwback on his Google Plus account, because he is one of six still-active members of Google Plus:

He captioned the image:

Found this and thought I'd share it with you all. Two days before the start of HP1 our producer, David Heyman, took Matthew Lewis, Rupert Grint and me (in my super-cool lime green zip-top!) to WWF INSURRECTION in Sheffield (this was prior to it becoming WWE). Unfortunately I don't have a photo of the whole group. Judging by the sign behind us I think William Regal was making his entrance! And judging by our faces we weren't quite brave enough to boo him.
It was very good night! Go watch the brilliant Mr. Lewis in season 2 of Happy Valley on Netflix! Happy Friday everyone! - Dan

For anyone that did not know, Lewis has changed quite a bit since playing the disheveled character Neville Longbottom:

https://www.instagram.com/p/5b3s8ZkQzE/?taken-by=realmattdavelewis

They've both come a long, long way from their days as wizards. For more throwbacks of the Harry Potter cast, you'll unfortunately have to follow Radcliffe on Google Plus.

↧

Sports anchor on a livestream gets text that his wife's in labor, takes his sweet time leaving.

March 28, 2016, 9:01 am

≫ Next: Article 33

≪ Previous: Daniel Radcliffe posts adorable, pre-wizard throwback photo to when he and Neville were two little wrestling fans.

Because children like being difficult, babies rarely decide to come out of the womb at a convenient time. Scott Rude learned that unfortunate reality while reporting on a livestream for 120 Sports. "She's now just getting an epidural, and, uh, I'm gonna head out."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MODXr16IKKc

Good plan, only it took him quite some time to implement it. Thankfully co-host Rick Strom was there to remind Rude that his wife was in labor and he should leave. Bryant McFadden, meanwhile, sat back and watched.

Despite his minor delaying tactics, Rude did make it in time.

https://twitter.com/ScottRude120/status/712140707281182721

And his wife successfully gave birth to a human.

https://twitter.com/ScottRude120/status/712270385803358209

Aw, what a cute baby, who will probably be forced to watch lots of sports.

↧

Article 33

March 28, 2016, 9:18 am

≫ Next: Margaret Cho warns angry crowd who walked out of her show 'you will never get a cent back.'

≪ Previous: Sports anchor on a livestream gets text that his wife's in labor, takes his sweet time leaving.

↧

Margaret Cho warns angry crowd who walked out of her show 'you will never get a cent back.'

March 28, 2016, 9:18 am

≫ Next: Sarah Louise Bryan explains how one crazy dress design propelled her from rags to rainbow.

≪ Previous: Article 33

TMZ's latest release of grainy cell phone footage finds Margaret Cho falling out of a favor with an audience at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey on Saturday night. The comedian responded to the furious crowd, who were allegedly upset by the set's depressing topics such as her rape and Garry Shandling's death, by insulting white members of the audience and sounding off about the shame associated with being a rape victim.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BnwRE5cJ0A

At one point, Cho tells the crowd, "I don’t understand exactly what brought you here but know you will never get a cent back of the money that you paid." This seemed to be the tipping point for at least one of the offended audience members, who can be heard voicing disappointment over having his Easter weekend ruined by Cho's chosen subject matter.

Are you guys enjoying this? I mean, really, really. This is-this is comedy before Easter? Rape, rape, rape, [*series of bleeps*]?

Cho, not known for Easter humor in spite of how many people at the venue apparently expected her to tell Easter-appropriate jokes, took to Twitter to address her handling of the incident, which she attributes to jet lag.

https://twitter.com/margaretcho/status/714126071076110337https://twitter.com/margaretcho/status/714128720215281664https://twitter.com/margaretcho/status/714130049423839233

She's right. The only shame anyone in that video should've felt is for rushing the stage to yell at a performer they didn't agree with instead of unobtrusively exiting the building and going home to think about the pure joy Easter annually brings innocent-minded people who are really into eggs filled with loose jelly beans.

↧

Sarah Louise Bryan explains how one crazy dress design propelled her from rags to rainbow.

March 28, 2016, 9:40 am

≫ Next: Patient singer Jamye Orr survives the wait and joyously hears her song on the radio for the first time.

≪ Previous: Margaret Cho warns angry crowd who walked out of her show 'you will never get a cent back.'

Sarah Louise Bryan, a 27-year-old former beautician, was basically homeless, relying on the kindness of friends who let her and her two kids stay with them. So she was laying in bed one night, trying to think of a way to make their lives better, when she got the idea for for a dress made entirely out of Skittles. She called it #ProjectTasteTheRainbow.

https://www.instagram.com/p/uGXDbKxidc/

The dress is made of approximately 3,000 Skittles and 90 tubes of glue, and took 180 hours to complete. No word on how much of the material was consumed by the dressmaker over those 180 hours.

https://www.instagram.com/p/uaCHj7RibA/

After the dress was finally finished, Bryan posted it on social media, where the story was picked up by media outlets like ABC. Then it was picked up by an alternative clothing company called Ripleys, who reportedly gave Bryan a job.

According to the Birmingham Mail, Bryan said: “Since then I have been given my own Sarah Louise Bryan range. I design clothes and handbags for celebrities and the agency I work for will be supplying my clothes to the Kardashians." This clothing will most likely not be made out of anything edible.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BB_HqVwxiWY/

Bryan continued:

I am now renting a lovely home in Sutton Coldfield. I have a sports car and can give my two children all the materialistic things I couldn’t just a year ago. I am hoping to be a millionaire in the not too distant future. I am proof that no matter who you are and how bad things can get anyone can get themselves out of a bad situation with ideas and drive.

https://www.instagram.com/p/uY3-BJRiVv/

Sounds like Bryan is really (wait for it) tasting that rainbow now. Check out more of her work over at her website, here.

↧

Patient singer Jamye Orr survives the wait and joyously hears her song on the radio for the first time.

March 28, 2016, 9:56 am

≫ Next: 12-year-old drops amazing pickup line on Selena Gomez and she eats it up.

≪ Previous: Sarah Louise Bryan explains how one crazy dress design propelled her from rags to rainbow.

Michigan-native Jamye Orr, who is releasing an EP called Healed on April 30, recently made it onto the radio for the first time. She's since become a viral sensation, after filming herself in the car waiting for her single "Love Is a War" to debut on WDET in Detroit. The views will probably help her career a lot more than the radio time. Skip to 1:46 to watch the happy tears flow.

Most of the three-minute video is Orr attempting to patiently wait for the song to premiere, while she's clearly dying on the inside. Then when he's introducing it, host Rob Reinhart spends almost a minute preparing audiences and slowly chipping away at Orr's sanity. Finally, she hears the song and loses it.

It's when Orr is quietly shaking, with her hair all over her face, that it becomes most evident she is enjoying this moment. Click here to listen to the song without getting distracting by Orr's charming happiness.

↧

12-year-old drops amazing pickup line on Selena Gomez and she eats it up.

March 28, 2016, 10:00 am

≫ Next: Proud parent of kid who's 'going places' shares hilariously NSFW test answer.

≪ Previous: Patient singer Jamye Orr survives the wait and joyously hears her song on the radio for the first time.

While Selena Gomez was visiting BBC Radio in London this week, host Cel Spellman gave three listeners the chance to try out their best pickup lines on her. A caller who was identified as 12-year-old Max busted out: “Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2LUbDg-Xm0

Damn, Max!

Selena clearly thought he had game. “Wow, impressive. That got my attention," she said. "The turning 18 part may need to be a crucial part of me pursuing…but I’m very impressed.”

There you go, young Max. Just hang on for six more years and you got this! Unless she gets back together with Justin.

↧

Proud parent of kid who's 'going places' shares hilariously NSFW test answer.

March 28, 2016, 10:08 am

≫ Next: Article 27

≪ Previous: 12-year-old drops amazing pickup line on Selena Gomez and she eats it up.

A little girl forewent the word bank in a school assignment to make an actual statement, calling it as she sees it. The proud parent posted the picture with the title, "I too have a daughter going places."

It's a shame that she's too young to vote, because it sounds like she has a firm grasp of the Bernie Sanders political revolution. Economic inequality is at an all-time high in America, and she boils the issue down to the one succinct phrase.

"I'm Bernie Sanders and I approve this message."

↧

Article 27

March 28, 2016, 10:13 am

≫ Next: Malia Obama rocked a $48 dress because she's one of us.

≪ Previous: Proud parent of kid who's 'going places' shares hilariously NSFW test answer.

↧

Malia Obama rocked a $48 dress because she's one of us.

March 28, 2016, 10:25 am

≫ Next: Kanye and Tyga dressed up as Easter bunnies, and it was surprisingly heartwarming and rant-free.

≪ Previous: Article 27

Despite living nearly half her life as "first daughter," Malia Obama is pretty much just like any other 17-year-old, non-presidential-father-having young woman. Sure, she lives in the most famous address in the country, and she gets to meet famous movie stars at state dinners and her dad is the leader of the free world, but she also apparently appreciates a bargain just as much as the next girl. Malia Obama wore this $48 ASOS dress during her family's recent historic visit to Cuba, and you (yeah, you!) can buy the dress online right now if you want.

Malia paired the ASOS "Ditsy Floral Skater Dress" with white sneakers, a giant black umbrella, and a small militia of Secret Servicemen.

No matter what she is wearing, Malia pretty much always kills the fashion game. When her father was elected president eight years ago, Malia burst onto the scene in this super cute red dress:

As her father's hair got more grey, her outfits got even more colorful. She was seen in this super bright yellow dress with bell sleeves for Christmas, 2011:

Seems like Malia has always been a big fan of the sneakers and dress look, since this photo was snapped in 2014. No word if Malia tie-dyed that dress herself:

Here she is with younger sister Sasha at the annual Pardoning of the Thanksgiving Turkey at the White House, answering the age-old question, "What does one wear to a turkey pardoning?"

Yep, that seems about right.

↧

Kanye and Tyga dressed up as Easter bunnies, and it was surprisingly heartwarming and rant-free.

March 28, 2016, 10:55 am

≫ Next: Article 24

≪ Previous: Malia Obama rocked a $48 dress because she's one of us.

Kanye West and Tyga dressed up as Easter bunnies on Sunday, and humanity was treated to pics of the two in rabbit form from the Snapchat accounts of Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, and Kylie Jenner.

Here are Kanye and Tyga hopping into their grand entrance to entertain the kids at the Kardashian and Jenner Easter celebration. The outfits appear to be regular bunny costumes, not sneak peeks from Yeezy's next fashion line:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDeMuporBx5/?taken-by=kourtneysnapchat

North West figured out which bunny was her dad, Kanye:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDeeNKXF19t/?taken-by=kimmysnapchats

Good news for furry fans, here's Tyga in a bunny suit kissing Kylie:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDeMlBOsw9u/?taken-by=kylizzlesnapchats

Everyone enjoy this, because it is the most wholesome thing the public will see from the Jenner/Kardashian clan for many months. Twitter rants, meltdowns, and naked pics will be back in no time.

↧

Article 24

March 28, 2016, 11:00 am

≫ Next: Guy sends mom cutout of himself as a joke. Mom one-ups him by treating it like a real kid.

≪ Previous: Kanye and Tyga dressed up as Easter bunnies, and it was surprisingly heartwarming and rant-free.

↧

Guy sends mom cutout of himself as a joke. Mom one-ups him by treating it like a real kid.

March 28, 2016, 11:10 am

≫ Next: This Carly Rae Jepsen saxophone riff will get stuck in your head, and you will be OK with that.

≪ Previous: Article 24

YouTuber and Redditor Dalton Ross is currently studying abroad, and in order to ease the separation for his mother, Ross gave her a life-size cutout of himself. While Ross is traipsing around some foreign country, his mom is enjoying some quality time with her "son," according to these photos Ross shared on Reddit along with the note "Jokingly sent my mom a cutout of myself while I'm studying abroad. She seems to be entertaining herself with it."

She's quickly welcomed her new, totally perfect son into the family.

Upgraded Dalton loves grabbing a bite with family and friends.

He gets along well with the family dog.

He enjoys athletic activities.

He's a healthy kid.

He's big on the holidays.

He's in a solid romantic relationship.

He supports his little brother at his sporting events.

He never turns down a meal with mom.

He partakes in story time with momma every night before bed.

Momma Ross may be getting too attached. At this rate, she'll be mightily disappointed when real Dalton comes back to reclaim his place as her son.

↧

This Carly Rae Jepsen saxophone riff will get stuck in your head, and you will be OK with that.

March 28, 2016, 11:45 am

≫ Next: This cat and dog are either having a romantic moment or an intense battle of wills.

≪ Previous: Guy sends mom cutout of himself as a joke. Mom one-ups him by treating it like a real kid.

The Internet has been obsessed with Carly Rae Jepsen since she dropped "Call Me Maybe," and now her music's been meme-ified yet again. The Daily Dot compiled an incredible collection of Vines remixing Jepsen's 2015 hit "Run Away With Me," a song that brandishes an undeniably catchy saxophone riff and just happens to be the web's new meme muse. Here are some of the best selects:

https://vine.co/v/ibxWhlAjAhthttps://vine.co/v/ivpFdg00Hz0https://vine.co/v/iwgJ05Wa6D7https://vine.co/v/idFzar9zAII

The "Run Away With Me" saxophone riff may just be a new law of nature, being that it's so universally captivating it can naturally pair with any piece of media it's set against.

https://vine.co/v/igEhPwaU2TJhttps://vine.co/v/igFWIF2IVxUhttps://vine.co/v/i60d9DIrUTlhttps://vine.co/v/iJFKWeJP7PL

Kudos to Ms. Jepsen: her achievement in sonic meme-dom has transcended the bounds of the electromagnetic spectrum and been forever embedded within the collective consciousness, because it will literally never, ever leave anyone's head.