Gotta love the part where he plugs a Chris Rock show that doesn't even exist called Rock the World. Nicely done.
The video was clearly first recorded in Snapchat, captioned, "These r the moments that I love. She really thinks that I'm 'Chris Rock.'" When he reposted it to Instagram, Hart captioned it: "These are the moments that keep me Humble #RockTheWorld#AllYouCanDoIsLaugh"
Hart's gotta be getting pretty used to being mistaken for other people. On March 16, for some as yet still unknown reason, Googling "Bill Cosby" would bring up a picture of Kevin Hart.
Who will Kevin Hart be next? Eddie Murphy? Morgan Freeman? Only time (and people's willingness to overlook the fact that Hart is like 3 feet tall) will tell.
Blink a few times and you’ll probably miss the latest body challenge where folks go through ridiculous methods to prove how skinny they are. Unsurprisingly, yet another body challenge has surfaced on the Internet this week: the “iPhone 6 knees” challenge.
According to Cosmopolitan, the iPhone 6 knees challenge apparently started in China when women began flooding their social media feeds with knee selfies. In these photos, women use an iPhone 6 to hide their knees. Why? So that they can prove to the world how skinny their legs are.
Folks have criticized these challenges for the unrealistic body/beauty standards it creates for women. According to The Telegraph, Facebook user Moon L. Leighton expressed her dismay thusly: “Whoever started these beauty trends certainly deserves a medal, something along the lines of ‘The Most Moronic Idea of the Year.’”
In case you're wondering whether or not the size of your knees determines the weight of your body, medical expert Benjamin Bedford told Teen Vogue: "The knees are bone and cartilage, and those are fixed size, so there's not much [you can] do to change the knee's size," he said. Uh-doy.
Two weeks ago, Chinese women were posting photos of their small waists that can be covered behind an A4 sheet paper. China is apparently fast overtaking the United States as the world's leading producer of eating disorders.
The last thing many people want to do when they wake up to a skull-walloping hangover is consume more alcohol, but these barkeeps swear a hair-of-the-dog cocktail is the perfect thing to get you back on your feet and ready to rally. GQ had three bartenders share their take on what they think is the perfect morning-after concoction, the Michelada. The results look like they'd be just as enjoyable even without a night of heavy drinking preceding it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6DvyeiwuXI
For the budget conscious, the first bartender's suggestion of "some water, or some sleep, or some tea" may have to do until you're once again able to leave your bed without throwing up. But for those who continue their debauchery and fiscal irresponsibility in the morning, please try all three of these cures and return to this article.
Go.
Back so soon? Well, which of these cures worked for you?
After that last Britney Spears ab picture that everyone thought was definitely Photoshopped, you can be forgiven for feeling skeptical that the abs she showed off on Instagram with the caption "Happy Monday!" (oh Brit, such a mom) are real. But if there's any Photoshop in this photo, it's really, really, really well-done:
See what a little bit of restraint in retouching gets you, Britney? A whole blog post that is basically just saying "damn, Britney! Back at it again with the tight abs!"
Former Disney Channel star turned wild child Miley Cyrus is a huge animal lover, but it seems like not all animals love her back. After the singer was attacked by a cat, she did what any other millennial would do: posted pictures of the scratches to her Instagram account. Just as a warning, these pictures have blood and also Miley Cyrus.
Appropriately, all the pictures shared the same caption: "Fuuuuuuuck".
Cyrus, who has a small menagerie of pets, didn't note if it was one of her four cats that used her as a human scratching post. The line up of suspects are as followed:
Shanti Om BB (this cat has its own Instagram with 125k followers)
It is doubtful that a little bloodshed will keep Cyrus from collecting pets or helping animals. The singer is a very vocal vegan (as if there are any other kind) as well as an animal rights activist. Her fifth studio album, "Miley Cyrus and her Dead Petz" was dedicated to her pets that have passed away. Still, maybe Cyrus should be more careful when handling pussy that has sharp claws.
Oh no. Oh God. Someone did it. Someone Photoshopped the spray tan off of Donald Trump's face. Yes, that's right: all this time it's actually been Donald's oft-mocked orange tan that was holding his face together to keep it from looking like an albino swellshark. Oh God. Oh no. As a reminder of what Donald Trump's face normally looks like, turn on a cable news channel at literally any hour of any day here you go:
Okay, so, that is the starting point. That is the before. You can make whatever judgment you want about how The Donald currently looks, but at very least everyone is used to this particular face by now.
But now.
You might need a moment.
Trigger warning: Donald Trump's face without a spray tan ahead.
This is your last chance to close this tab before seeing Donald Trump's face without a spray tan.
A Redditor was staying in a hotel room and had just gotten into bed when he felt a piece of paper crinkle. He pulled it out and found this letter written on the hotel's stationary. It's pretty much the worst note you could find that isn't of the ransom variety.
Ewwww.
It reads:
If you're reading this, then house keeping did not change your sheets!
Hotels: apparently kind of gross. At least the previous occupant didn't specify how much sex he had on those sheets.
True love is when you hear your partner confess to being a vicious murderer while talking in their sleep, and you still stay with them. Apparently, one of the hottest topics on Reddit is people sharing the strange things their partners have said while asleep. The following stories are taken from some of the most popular submissions on Reddit's many, many threads over the past year.
Note: it doesn't count if you shake them.
1. It's shocking to hear Grimm6589 or anyone complain about receiving a million dollars, but what he plans to do with the money is adorable.
According to my wife: I woke up abruptly at around 1:30am, sat up and looked her dead in the eye and yelled "WHAT WOULD WE EVEN DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS??!!" around 2 minutes later I mumbled, seemingly to myself "...we could raise feral cats..."
2. Tasty breadsticks will get ya, TornadoApe. But don't get too excited about it or you'll pee on your girlfriend.
For me it was randomly nudging my girlfriend and talking about going to Olive Garden at 4:30 in the morning. For her it was frantically waking me up at 2 am making sure I peed before I went to bed. She was so concerned. Neither of us remember either.
3. NachoQueen_'s employer should pay her overtime for bringing her work home. And her should pay her boyfriend for being an employee in her nightmare.
In my sleep I yelled at my boyfriend for closing the door then got out of bed and opened the door and told him "the customers need to get in!" 12 hour shifts in retail were too much for me.
4. DallasITGuy's wife realized that her husband needs to eat his vegetables more than he needs his sleep.
My wife tells me that back when we were in college I once woke her up saying, "Tell the boys with the celery to head on back to the ranch!".
When she asked what I meant I apparently said, "Shhsh! I'm sleeping!"
5. This ridiculously hilarious story may have been the reason for InvaderDem and his ex's split.
My ex said that one night I started mumbling in my sleep. She asked for some clarification and I mumbled again, somewhat irritated. She once again asked for clarification and I apparently sat up, looked her straight in the eyes and said "Eat the Child" and went back to sleep.
Probably the best my wife came out with: Give me my fucking wall back! Apparently I just chuckle evilly from time to time.
7. After hearing weird_in_chicago's story, you (and his wife) will probably want to know what planet he comes from.
My wife says I talk in my sleep. She says that over the years I've said some of the strangest things she's ever heard in her life.
"You just love me for my space potato." "Stop setting me on fire." "Why do you keep parking up the tree." "Why don't lizards have nipples."
I know I had to be the one to say those things because she can't be that demented.
8. cdskip knows that he should never mess with a hardworking woman, especially in her sleep.
My wife had one while she was writing her PhD thesis, where I woke up to her stroking the duvet with a beatific smile on her face. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Be careful, don't disturb my data. It's perfect."
I wasn't sure what to say, so I eventually settled for "Honey, that's not your data, that's the duvet."
Her smile drained away, and she started sobbing uncontrollably. I felt like history's greatest monster.
The sobbing lasted for about five seconds, and then she was fast asleep again, leaving me feeling guilty and confused.
9. Everywhereasign learned something about his girlfriend by doing something illegal and terrible to his girlfriend.
I once snuck into my girlfriend's apt during the night to surprise her. My plan was to gently wake her and then climb into bed. She wasn't expecting me, and half asleep/half terrified screamed "Oh Shit, Oh Fuck!" For about 3 minutes solid while I tried to calm her down. Turns out she had recurring nightmares about someone breaking into her place. My bad.
10. whirledpeasplease's boyfriend is probably a world-renowned male porn star in the land of NSFW dreams.
I didn't do this, boyfriend did, I wake up one night because he was rolling over towards me (I'm a light sleeper) and still asleep, he found my boob, found the nipple, and wrapped his mouth around it and sucked, hard. I was too shocked to do anything, then he stopped, rolled back over and started snoring. He doesn't remember doing this. Was kinda hot actually.
11. Fortunately, my_work_acccnt is only talking about junk food, and not actual children, in his sleep.
Apparently while asleep, I gave a vocal recount of the Great Dorito's Massacre. My ex said I was talking in my sleep about how Dorito warriors had come to destroy my villiage (sic), but I had risen to defend my land and proudly exclaimed I had killed all the Doritos and hunted them to extinguish their familial roots...my ex then asks to a still asleep me if I'm sure I killed them all, like even the children. I'm still asleep and go "gasp the Cheetos!" and promptly roll over, stop talking and enter deep sleep....to presumably kill the children Cheetos.
It's been awhile, but I think she said she heard me giggling for like the next 10 minutes...I might be a serial killer.
12. kendric2000's dream is a valid excuse for anyone who's tired of being asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
My Wife: "You want spaghetti for dinner tomorrow?"
My very serious sleep response: "I can't do that right now, I have too many books out on the market."
Evidently in my dreams I'm a best selling author....lol.
13. butts-ahoy is living out Dexter fantasies in his dream. His wife is probably sleeping in another room these days.
According to my wife, I rolled over one night and said "I'm going to kill you", then a few minutes later started laughing in a very fake, deliberate way "ha. ha. ha."
I also tend to sleep with my eyes open. I'm glad I don't share a bed with me.
14. gottagetthere's girlfriend and the man in #13 would make a killer couple.
My sleep-talking girlfriend who normally would say innocent things like "I'm so hungry" or "Where's the elevator" in her sleep is now saying thinks like "I'm gonna murder them all +creepy laugh" and "Kill everyone". Should I be concerned about her mental health/my safety, or is she just having bad dreams?
15. PineappleCherry gave her husband a Christmas present he will never forget.
I sat up in my bed still sound asleep, cocked my arm back, and punched my husband right in the chest. It wasn't a hard punch at all and I woke up mid swing unable to stop it at that point. He had a good laugh about it, and it ended up happening a 2nd time a few months later too, on Christmas morning.
16. magdasmash admits that her husband is a true gentle giant.
One time my husband bolted upright in bed just as I was drifting off. He started pulling the curtains down yelling "Oh God, the bees!" He is 6'4" and I'm, well, not. Terrified the shit out of me.
17. If this had continued, KwisatzHaterach would probably have had to contact Dr. Phil for marriage advice. Or not.
My husband was quietly getting ready for work at 5am while I was sleeping in the bed when I suddenly say, "It's too bad he's married."
Amused and now curious my husband decided to asked me, "too bad who's married?"
To which I apparently sighed heavily and said, "Dr. Phil."
He still teases me about it. He like to call me into the room if the show is on so I can "see my lover."
18. Accidentsmakeppl should change his username to "Accidentsdontmakeppl."
I proposed to my girlfriend over skype. She realized what was happening and told me to go back to sleep.
I’m sitting next to my girlfriend in bed just now at about an [8], when she starts talking in her sleep, and all I hear is "Fuckin' pandas everywhere!! You look away for....one second and there are 50 pandas all over the fuckin' place!!"
And I'm fuckin' losin' it here. I can't fuckin' handle this shit.
Tonight was a bad night for front runners in Wisconsin. Ted Cruz defeated Donald Trump, with only the endorsements of all establishment Wisconsin Republicans and a week of non-stop Trump gaffes to help him. Bernie Sanders bested Hillary Clinton, prompting snarky pundits to point out Wisconsin has supported socialist candidates several times before. These are the 24 funniest reactions to today's election results from the Land of Cheese!
Justin Bieber lyrics are not celebrated for their subtlety, but how insidiously they implant themselves in your head and stay there for a minimum seven hours. The broad craziness of Bieber fever made his words a perfect fit for James Corden's The Bold and the Lyrical segment, in which celebrities way too good for this act out soap operas crafted from pop lyrics (the melodic equivalent of soaps).
Watch Ray Romano charmingly recite "Boyfriend" and Gary Oldman slay hearts with, "My mama don't like you, and she likes everyone."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gX8IcfAM6U
This whole bit is just proof that anything is possible. Never say never.
It looks like the wedding is still on for rapper Iggy Azalea and basketball player Nick Young, despite widespread cheating rumors (if you can call an on-camera confession a "rumor"). Last week, a video taken by Young's LA Lakers teammate D'Angelo Russell surfaced, in which Young talked about cheating on Azalea with a 19-year-old in a club. Azalea tweeted this ultra shady comment in response.
While many people assumed that the incriminating video would be enough for the couple to call off their pending nuptials, this week Iggy seems to be singing a different tune.
Well, there you have it! In one tweet, all rumors of the couple breaking off their engagement have been dispelled. She went on to tweet some sage advice/a possible explanation to a young fan.
A week seems like a small amount of time to mend a relationship that formerly seemed like it was falling apart, but whatever works! Congrats to the happy (?) couple!
This past weekend, an American tourist named Dan Koplowitz hopped on a ferry from Tallinn, Estonia to Helsinki, Finland. Apparently, the whole ferry ride was an absolute clusterfuck, leading him to describe his unfortunate journey as "the ninth circle of hell."
Koplowitz kept his Facebook friends updated throughout the disastrous ride. Thanks to Imgur user Sneikku, you can check out his hilarious, overly dramatic, very foreign ferry ride, below.
I have been on the ferry from Tallinn to Helsinki for all of five minutes and a drunken Finnish man has already called me a "lamb-fucker" and tried to punch me. #welcometofinland
Estonia-Finland ferry update: every single toilet on the ship is clogged, and some ten-year-old kid is going from sink to sink and throwing up in each of them. I'm traveling in style, guys!
Estonia-Finland ferry update: a drunken Russian man just got down on one knee and proposed to the girl next to me. She said no.
Estonia-Finland ferry update: some huge dude just walked by with a seriously busted-up face and a silver medal around his neck. I think he's a boxer? You should have seen the other guy.
Estonia-Finland ferry update: the DJ actually just played a pretty solid Afrobeat track. I don't think the crowd is really feeling it, though. Oh wait, he's back to terrible Top 40 pop now. The crowd is more into that.
Estonia-Finland ferry update: the police just arrested some guy. THIS PLACE IS LITERALLY THE NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL
Estonia-Finland ferry update: I took a photograph!
At least there's food on board.
Well, I finally made it off the nightmarish Hell-scape that is the Estonia-Finland ferry, and I am safely ensconced in the warm comfort of my friend's apartment in Helsinki. Drunk Japanese businessmen singing karaoke by themselves, fathers and sons with matching mohawks, metal dudes getting hammered on cheap beer, dozens of child wrestlers coming back from a tournament, clogged toilets, bad music, malfunctioning power sockets, basically no internet, and of course yours truly, giving serious thought to just jumping overboard and swimming the rest of the way: The Estonia-Finland ferry truly does have it all.
Hopefully, Koplowitz's flight back to America wasn't as horrible as these folks'.
On Tuesday, Kerry Washington called out Adweek magazine for photoshopping her on the cover of their April 4 issue. "You know me. I'm not one to be quiet about a magazine cover," Washington said in an Instagram post featuring the photo:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BD1Yu--ABne/
Washington writes:
So...You know me. I'm not one to be quiet about a magazine cover. I always celebrate it when a respected publication invites me to grace their pages. It's an honor. And a privilege. And ADWEEK is no exception.
I love ADWEEK. It's a publication I appreciate. And learn from. I've long followed them on Twitter. And when they invited me to do a cover, I was excited and thrilled. And the truth is, I'm still excited. I'm proud of the article. And I like some of the inside images a great deal. But, I have to be honest...I was taken aback by the cover.
Look, I'm no stranger to Photoshopping. It happens a lot. In a way, we have become a society of picture adjusters - who doesn't love a filter?!? And I don't always take these adjustments to task but I have had the opportunity to address the impact of my altered image in the past and I think it's a valuable conversation.
Yesterday, however, I just felt weary. It felt strange to look at a picture of myself that is so different from what I look like when I look in the mirror. It's an unfortunate feeling.
That being said. You all have been very kind and supportive. Also, as I've said, I'm very proud of the article.
There are a few things we discussed in the interview that were left out. Things that are important to me (like: the importance of strong professional support and my awesome professional team) and I've been thinking about how to discuss those things with anyone who is interested, in an alternate forum. But until then...Grab this week's ADWEEK. Read it. I hope you enjoy it. And thank you for being patient with me while I figured out how to post this in a way that felt both celebratory and honest.
XOXOXOX
In case you're too lazy, didn't read, Washington says this isn't the first time she discovered an altered photo of herself. "Look, I'm no stranger to Photoshopping. It happens a lot. In a way, we have become a society of picture adjusters—who doesn't love a filter?!?"
And in an unexpected turn of events, the star says she's still "proud" of the article. Here's the crucial part of Washington's long Insta-caption:
I'm very proud of the article. There are a few things we discussed in the interview that were left out. Things that are important to me (like: the importance of strong professional support and my awesome professional team) and I've been thinking about how to discuss those things with anyone who is interested, in an alternate forum. But until then...Grab this week's ADWEEK.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BD1q1QVgBh1/
The editorial director of Adweek, Jim Cooper, responded to Washington's statements on Twitter. Cooper said the magazine didn't mean to "disrespect" her.
Nowadays, celebrity photos get altered most of the time—either celebs do the photoshopping themselves or an army of Internet nerds alter celebrity photos for viral fame. So even if she's a little disappointed, Washington's clearly not surprised.
Aerie model Iskra Lawrence posted some hilarious Instagrams shutting down and shutting out trolls who call her "fat" online. On April 1, the 25-year-old plus-size model posted a photo and a short video, letting people know how very much she doesn't care about their opinions of her or her body. Or her diet, for that matter.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BDqnLOLrkz0/
The caption of the photo reads:
"I'm sorry I couldn't help myself...This is for anyone who has ever been called FAT. Thanks for the inspirational words on a recent pic @zseanzbrown "Fat cow. It's only cus every F****r on this planet is obese that that's the norm... Plus-size models? give me a F*****g breaking. Everyone needs to stop eating McDonald's, the NHS is f****d because of people like her eating too many bags of crisps." Opinions are like arseholes - everyone's got one. thanks to the dream team for making this happen at work today
So basically this troll can kiss her ass, because she couldn't care less. She'll eat all the bloody (haha, England) crisps she wants. And to drive her point home, she posted a slo-mo video of herself eating those crisps and giving the camera a quick flip of the bird.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BDqqDSVLk5-/
Zero f*cks given, haters.
Her caption on the video is basically the same, only she added:
Ps I do not condone binge eating. I eat whatever I want in moderation. I will eat crisps but I'll also make healthy home cooked meals and workout regularly. The message is who gives a F what anyone else thinks of you. YOU are the only one who decides yourself worth.
And because she's a classy lady, she added at the bottom: "And sorry I'm usually not rude or give anyone the finger but these online trolls smdh."
Hilary Duff, America's second most talked-about Hil(l)ary, has been killing the Instagram game lately. Her latest post is a piece of fashion advice for her fellow cool moms out there (Hilz has a four-year-old son named Luca), and because this is the Internet, it became "controversial" in the comments.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BD07ABVNTRR/
She writes:
Hey moms! I came up wth a semi cute outfit for school drop off! I usually roll in sweat pants or lulu lemons and look like a disaster but this morning I managed to throw something cute together and I thought would share. Cut offs or jeans. A light weight trench over a sweater or tee, cross body bag sneaks or booties and a pair of Sunnies! Now you try! Tag me in your photo
Because this is the Internet, people are fighting about it in the comments, and commenting on the shortness of her shorts:
This Wednesday, Janet Jackson told her fans in a Twitter video that she is delaying the "second leg" of her Unbreakable world tour. The 49-year-old superstar explained that she is suspending her tour indefinitely because "my husband (Wissam Al Mana) and I are planning our family," and her doctors have ordered her to take a break.
We're in the second leg of the tour and there actually has been a sudden change. I thought it was important that you would be the first to know my husband and I are planning our family, so I'm going to have to delay the tour. Please, if you can try to understand that it's important that I do this now. I have to rest up, doctor's orders. But I have not forgotten about you. I will continue to tour as soon as I possibly can.
There is no word yet on what the couple's plans are. Are Janet and Wissam expecting a child together? Only time will tell. In the meantime, watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt's awesome impression of Janet.
Because there's no better way to spend one's time than staring at Taylor Swift's ass, rumors are flying that Taylor has taken to wearing butt pads. After carefully considering photos of Taylor at the iHeartRadio Awards on Sunday, Twitter users and sites like TMZ are speculating that Taylor added a bit of cushioning to her very sparkly jumpsuit, or whatever that outfit was. This calls for an investigation into Taylor Swift's ass.
Exhibit A: Taylor in May 2015 at the Billboard Awards.
Nothing much to see there.
Exhibit B: Taylor at the 2016 Grammys in February.
There is definitely more curvature going on, though that could be because this glittery jumpsuit (Taylor's 2016 answer to her prom dresses, apparently) is much more flattering on the derriere.
Exhibit C: Taylor at the 2016 iHeartRadio Awards in April.
Yes, there is absolutely more glute definition. And Taylor's legs are looking more muscular, thus suggesting the cause behind Taylor's butt is time spent in the gym.
Exhibit D: A butt-by-butt comparison.
Between the outfit, Taylor's stance, and her exhibition of more leg muscle, there does not appear much evidence of butt pads. It seems as though Taylor has discovered the wonder known as squats.
If you love cats as much as you love changing the color of your hair, brace yourself. One girl in Russia has conjured a rainbow dye hairstyle that will make you meow with excitement. Instagrammer Katichka has gone viral for a photo of her neon-colored hair with a feline hidden in it.
From the front, Katichka's hair just looks like an epic party of pink and blue crayons.
But if you look at her hair from the back, there's something even more magical lurking. Katchika has a cat's face trimmed and dyed into her funky fresh undercut. So much meow:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BDseiS1Kf8W/
“My sleepy cat with me always,” she captioned in the post.
Bless the barber who gave Katchika a cat hair undercut. Pray for the fools who need way better haircuts than the ones they're probably rocking right now.
