You, dear internet, have widely condemned the following seven people. You've handed down your judgmental proclamations from rolling-chair thrones and said, "You, Martin Shkreli, are no good." But even the most heinous celebrities, the most dastardly TMZ bullseyes, are human. And every good villain has a soft spot to prove their humanity. Darth Vader had been Anakin. Ramsay Bolton loved his dogs.
So here is what redeems the following handful of hated harlequins. Here is the single grain of sugar in their bowl of gall. It will only make your hatred more delectable.
1. Martin Shkreli
50 Cent harassed a teenager with autism. The video went viral. One celebrity faced the bully and gave a voice to autism. That celebrity was… Martin Shkreli? Sure. Shkreli's money—wrung from the frail hands of terminally ill cancer patients—is still money, and he pledged 10k to an autism charity in the tremendous backlash to the video. He even tweeted that "autism awareness [is] still a problem." Little did you know that this pharmaceutical swindler is actually trying to improve the life of people with autism everywhere. He told TMZ his companies are "trying to develop new, desperately necessary, treatments for autism."
Why you can still hate him:
He'll probably overcharge for those treatments. He’s still Martin Shrkeli.
2. Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber’s best self lives on in the YouTube videos of him as a sweet, talented kid. Watch the one above for proof.
Tupac on his wall? Kinda cool! A Bart Simpson poster? OK! A catchy take on a catchy song by a kid who clearly loves to sing and wants to share his talent with the world? Yeah!
Why you can still hate him:
It doesn't help that this video's a Chris Brown cover. Also, this.
3. Azealia Banks
When you know how she grew up, you might delete what you already started writing in the comments section as soon as you saw her name in this article. In an interview with Self-titled magazine, she explained how her “stressed out; always overworked” mom would throw things at her kids and “brawl” with them. Meanwhile, Banks’ father “had kids with other women, and she was fighting for his attention for so long.” In Banks’ genuinely upsetting words, her mom “was finally starting to get some [attention] back from him and he just died. And that crushed her.”
Banks’s father died when she was just two years old. As she puts it, “by the time I was 8, I was really mature,” a latch-key kid in Harlem. She turned to acting and then music to deal with the issues at home.
"It actually scared me into the arts, you know?"
Why you can still hate her:
This.
4. Iggy Azalea
Everyone’s favorite cultural appropriator and tabloid-feeder, Iggy Azalea is actually, really, the American Dream personified. And not just the aforementioned cultural appropriation and tabloid fodder, but the actual good parts about the American Dream—the kind where if you work really hard, you can become anything you want to be. You know, that myth? Azalea actually worked hard enough/had enough insane courage to make it a reality.
According to LA Weekly, she dropped out of school at 15, worked and saved up about $4,000, and moved to Miami on her own with “no intention of returning to Australia.” She lived with a friend, moving around—she spent time in Houston before eventually making music connections in Atlanta. Eventually, she made it to LA, and the rest is (B-list) Hollywood history. She pulled herself up by her high heeled bootstraps. Ain't that America?
Why you can hate her anyway:
She’s forced herself into the same sentence as The Beatles, as in, the Beatles and Iggy Azalea are the only acts“to rank at Nos. 1 and 2 simultaneously with their first two Hot 100 entries.” Now if you even kinda disliked Iggy, you have to hate her.
5. Donald Trump
On a bright, sunny Thursday in New York City in April, Donald Trump said something likable. Asked about the controversial North Carolina bathroom law on Today, which requires that people use the bathroom that corresponds to the sex on their birth certificate (if they even have one—Trump demands physical proof), Trump said the truly reasonable:
There have been very few complaints the way it is. People go, they use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate. There has been so little trouble, and the problem with what happened in North Carolina is the strife and the economic punishment that they're taking. So I would say that's probably the best way.
A take that felt honest, reasonable, and completely devoid of sexist, racist, or penile imagery. Even if you’re on the other side of the issue, his response makes sense—it’s not really a problem, let’s not make it one.
Why you can hate him anyway:
Since the sound bite on Today, it’s become more and more confusing to figure out where Trump stumps on dumps. He’s changed his stance, saying it’s a state’s rights issue, and up to states to do “the right thing.” So, what’s the right thing?
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Trump told Jimmy Kimmel, a confused opportunist once again.
Phew. Still hateable.
6. Mel Gibson
Alcoholic, racist, sexist, hopelessly defended by Jodie Foster, Mel Gibson (in his more lucid moments) actually has a pretty fun sense of humor. In the period of his life before he had the Wikipedia header“alcohol abuse and legal issues,” Time Magazine wrote a fun piece that included how “Gibson loves to goof.” Mel “Goofy” Gibson. Yup, turns out: fun guy.
In one of these lost goofs, the virulent racist surprised his Passion of the Christ set by appearing to have a serious, quiet word with the woman playing the Virgin Mary—before leaving her to stare “dolefully into the camera with a bright-red clown nose.” The lovable, Fred Flintstone-like Gibson had applied it to her face as a prank on the crew.
He also notably inserted himself into the otherwise intense trailer for his film Apocalypto, a little Easter Egg for anyone who isn't so pious they won't use that phrase. YouTubers caught him smoking a cigarette in a single frame.
Why you can still hate him:
“What do you think you’re looking at, sugar tits?” is one of the kinder things he’s said during a DUI arrest.
7. Gwyneth Paltrow
Star of such hits as “Most Hated Celebrity,” “Gwyneth Paltrow did NOT ban People From Looking at Her At Party, Despite Claim,” “Shallow Hal,” and the blog that recommends a steamed vagina, Paltrow does have one, big redeeming quality:
She’s cousins with US representative Gabby Giffords.
Why you can still hate her:
She is not US representative Gabby Giffords.