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A college girl went on a Twitter tirade about having accidentally texted a nude selfie to her dad. Happy Place Investigates.

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No, her school hours are spent staging barely believable click-bait Twitter plays.

Yesterday, a college girl with a love for the grand tradition of tall tales spun a yarn on Twitter about sending a naked photograph of herself to her dad, which is very embarrassing and almost definitely didn't happen. Or maybe it did? Either way, every site on the Internet ran it. The bullshit began with a single barbaric yawp:

The urgency! Whatever is the matter, nyyy nyyy, aka Twitter's own @dearfashionn?

Priceless! Dads HATE receiving photographs of their naked adult daughters! Take us on your magic carpet ride, nyyy nyyy.

Writer's block already? Workshop it, maybe? 

No! Suicide is way over-dramatic, and a lot of first-time writers use that as an escape hatch from a story, but try to let this one play out. Maybe intro new characters? 

He seems like a handful! 

Seriously. Just imagine if it was real!

Hey hey hey, let's not go nuts. Texting nude photos of yourself is a visually poetic form of communication in a world where people are growing more and more detached. Don't cut yourself off from your peers!

He seems upset. By the way, what are you going to school for? If it's social media communications, you deserve an A for this.

It's a wrap? Are you filming this, too? Quit breaking the fourth wall. We want the ride to last a little bit longer. Say, how'd all this happen anyway?

Oh, you mean Daquan, the fictional character? That makes this is all quite believable, and it makes perfect sense that everysite on the Internet would be running this story as fact today.

But it got you so many new Twitter and Instagram followers which was the entire point and this is all lies.

Thanks for sharing the camera angle. What lens will you be using?

Oh wait, here comes Dad now. 

Hello Mr. nyyy. You are definitely a human male and I'm sold.

Here are a bunch more videos that PROVE EVERYTHING because there's yelling and also here's a hashtag I just came up with #thiswaslies.

If this whole thing had a movie poster, the tag line would be "It's called Twitter, not Titter." Also, this was lies. 

In conclusion, this was lies. Unless nyyy nyyy and Mr. nyyy submit their phones for forensic testing and also submit to a blood test to confirm paternity, everyone needs to stop believing this happened. Some killer improv in the videos at the end, though. Yes, and, this was lies.

(by Bob Powers


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