The World Cup trophy looks like someone spray painted a big hunk of shawarma.
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) July 13, 2014
Now wasn't that worth 14.5 billion dollars, Brazil? To see these Germans so happy?
— Gareth Reynolds (@reynoldsgareth) July 13, 2014
The first time the world can say, "Yay! Germany wins!"
— Rob Kutner (@ApocalypseHow) July 13, 2014
All the blonde Argentinian kids are descended from Nazi war criminals, right? Why are they crying?
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) July 13, 2014
There's going to be some unbelievably strange sex happening in Berlin tonight.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) July 13, 2014
Between Germany and the Spurs, it's a big year for joyless precision.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) July 13, 2014
Which Crying Soccer Player Are You?
— matt (@biorhythmist) July 13, 2014
Germany beat Argentina in soccer, but Evita is still a better musical than The Sound of Music #Winwhereitcounts
— Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) July 13, 2014
"Pay up, z'muzzafuckaz" Hitler, VIP Room, Hell.
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) July 13, 2014
Now you're just a grown man, crying with your face painted
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) July 13, 2014
MAZEL TOV GERMANY!! #WorldCupFinal
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) July 13, 2014
I want to console all the little crying kids and tell them how many worse things will happen in their lives. #WorldCup
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) July 13, 2014
Nerds who moan about sports overrunning the culture: you're right, but the dumb shit you love isn't doing the planet any favors either.
— scharpling (@scharpling) July 13, 2014
Macklemore scored a hell of a goal just then.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 13, 2014
I can't believe that's the last goal I'll see for four years.
— Jensen Karp (@JensenClan88) July 13, 2014
"Whew. I need a nap after that." - the scoreboard operator after having to turn a 0 to a 1
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) July 13, 2014