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Someone is leaving donuts on people's windshields all over Portland and the police won't do a damn thing about it.

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Who would do such a delicious thing? (via Hillsboro PD)

Someone - or something - has been depositing donuts on cars and lawns around Portland, Oregon. 

Since the first sighting of a maple bar smeared across a car windshield on June 1st, donuts, pastries, and eventually bread, yogurt, and potato salad has found its way onto car hoods and lawns around Portland, Oregon. Police have yet to determine who is behind this. 

There are very few clues. Residents told police that the incidents have always occurred overnight.

While there have been no witnesses to rule out supernatural activity, police suspect the donut vandals are human, likely kids from the neighborhood. Kids love donuts. 

“We think the suspects probably went to a Dumpster where a grocery store had thrown out day-old pastries,” police spokesman Lieutenant Mike Rouches told Reuters. Despite having landed on such an important lead, police have opted not to request surveillance video from local supermarkets. 

Who - or what - are they trying to protect?

Even if we don't know who police are being so lax about capturing, I have a pretty good hunch about why. Cops love donuts, too.

(by Myka Fox)


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