A dick drawing of a thousand miles begins with a single set of balls.
Remember the potato salad Kickstarter? It's ok if you don't. That was like, a decade ago. Remember Oculus Rift, or the Ouya, or Pebble, or the Veronica Mars movie, or Reading Rainbow, or any other big Kickstarter projects? They were all just warmups, just appetizers, just foreplay for this crowning achievement of the crowdsourcing movement.
Introducing the "World's Biggest Dick Drawing" by Alex Wong.
This attempt to put the famous dick-drawing montage in Superbad to tiny, limp shame isn't something Wong can do on his own, however. Well, it is, but he'd rather ask everyone for money. As far as the "why," Wong has two separate but equally understandable answers. On the one hand, he's unemployed. On the other, "It's everyone's dream to see a huge dick drawing. For scientific purposes or otherwise."
Wong showing off some of his more historically-relevant work.
The size and look of the penis will be determined by the success of the Kickstarter. In short, every dollar donated adds an inch of dick. Unless, of course, you want to pay $5 to add a pube or a vein, $7 for a golden vein, $10 for 1/2 of a testicle (only one of these remaining), or $25 for a "pee hole" (limit one). You can claim the tip of the penis for yourself for $100, or pay $200 to add a foreskin (the foreskin, as everyone knows, is added last to the penis).
An example of Wong's riskier, more avant garde penillustrations.
Everyone who donates will have their name attributed to the specific inch(es) that they funded, as well as listed on a giant thank-you poster. Wong also plans to submit his wang to the officials at Guinness, although whether it actually becomes the largest is up to donors. The drawing will not be made unless Wong gets at least $100, and as of press time he's only reached $24, which isn't even 24 inches because it includes people who have paid for parts of testicles. As of right now, he might just have a normal penis. Fortunately, there's still 28 days to turn that normal penis drawing into something the Internet can finally be proud of having created.
(by Johnny McNulty)