There was no room in the fridge.
Christmas came early for the Internet today, as a redditor unveiled his special named-Coke-can version of the classic nativity scene using cans sold in Mexico, where these four names are fairly common. There's so much to like about this photo, despite its simplicity. First of all, it confirms many people's suspicions that Jesus was a darker-colored can than centuries of European church doctrine have taught us. I mean, he could have used a white-and-blonde Caffeine-Free Diet Coke can, but that would have been the biggest sacrilege I can imagine (because that soda literally shouldn't exist. It's wrong). Finally, as many commenters on reddit pointed out, we can't see the top of Maria's can, so we'll just have to take it on faith that it was, indeed, unopened.
It's probably not a marketing ploy, since even Coca-Cola probably wouldn't try to appropriate a religion while making a joke about Hispanic names, all while being 5 months early. Probably.
Merry Julymas, everyone.
(by Johnny McNulty)