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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 31, 2014

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1. House Of Representatives Votes To Sue Barack Obama For Not Being A Republican President

The GOP-controlled U.S. House of Representatives voted 225 to 201 yesterday to grant Speaker John Boehner the authority to sue Barack Obama for a number of things, chief among them being the President's decision to hold off on implementing the Affordable Care Act’s employer mandate for a few years, a measure which they were hoping to delay themselves.


2. George Bush Writing Book About George Bush — Not An Autobiography

Former President George Bush is taking a break from painting self-portraits of former President George Bush's feet to pen a book about former President George Bush's influence upon former President George Bush. In this case, however, the author of the biography is 43rd President George W. Bush and the subject is his father, 41st President George H.W. Bush.


3. Elderly Virgin Who Lives Alone Inside A Massive Castle Has Happiness Advice For The Everyman

Pope Francis is offering the people of the world a list of his own personal helpful hints for how to be happy in this lifetime. Among them are 'live and let live,' 'don't be negative and 'respect nature.' Not on the list: 'lots of great sex.'


4. Throngs Of 'Sharknado 2' Viewers Just Can't Understand Why Anyone Would Make A Movie This Bad

Denizens of the Internet had an amazing time last night sharing their indignation and scorn for the purposefully terrible Sharknado 2: The Next One, wondering to one another what kind of idiots this film was made for.


5. Christopher Nolan Reveals New Footage From His Latest Epic Sci-Fi Movie That Will Kind Of Make Sense

Ever since the newest trailer for Christopher Nolan's upcoming movie Interstellar was shown to a select few at Comic-Con last week to rave reviews, the Internet has been abuzz with speculation about what the two-and-a-half minutes could entail. Finally, that mind-blowing, transcendent footage is available online. And it looks pretty okay:


(by Dennis DiClaudio)


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