1. Disney Movie About Kidnapped Orphan Who Befriends Talking Raccoon Breaks August Box Office Records
Disney and Marvel Studios's gamble on a big budget, weirdo space opera filled with comic book characters no one's ever heard of ended up paying off, as Guardians of the Galaxy broke August box office records by earning $94.3 million in its domestic opening weekend and propelling its soundtrack full of songs everybody already has to the top of iTunes and Amazon's charts.
THIS IS THE FIRST GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY BACKLASH TWEET IN HISTORY
— scharpling (@scharpling) August 3, 2014
And I didn’t see Guardians of the Galaxy yet. But the backlash has to start somewhere.
— scharpling (@scharpling) August 3, 2014
2. House GOP Committee Finds No Wrongdoing In Benghazi, Meaning House GOP Will Soon Be Investigating House GOP
The Republican House Intelligence Committee is apparently finally prepared to release the long-awaited report on the Benghazi scandal, including detailed descriptions of all the malfeasance perpetrated by President Barack Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Unfortunately, according to panel member and Democrat Rep. Mike Thompson, the report "confirms that no one was deliberately misled, no military assets were withheld and no stand-down order (to U.S. forces) was given." Outrageous! How dare there be no wrongdoing?! This report is essentially the Benghazi of Benghazi reports.
What a wasted hashtag. :( #Benghazi
— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) August 4, 2014
3. Sandra Bullock Is This Year's Highest-Earning Actor Who Doesn't Have Boy Parts
According to Forbes Magazine, Sandra Bullock—the Academy Award nominated star of the critically acclaimed sci-fi hit Gravity—was the highest-earning Hollywood actress from June 2013 to June 2014, earning $51 million and beating the Jennifers, Lawrence and Aniston, by $17 million and $20 million respectively. This makes her the third-highest-earning actor overall, coming in below Robert Downey, Jr. and Duane "The Rock" Johnson.
Homeless man threw a brick at my car today, nothing. Homeless man throws a brick at Sandra Bullock's car, she learns lessons, wins an Oscar.
— Gabe Delahaye (@gabedelahaye) July 22, 2014
4. Is America Ready For A Female Ghostbuster Team?
If a new rumor that's been buzzing around the Hollywood media is true, the new Ghostbusters movie, which nobody's really been all that excited about, might have actually just gotten a tiny bit interesting. Apparently, Bridesmaids and The Heat director Paul Feig might be helming the project with an all-female cast of paranormal exterminators. No word on who might be cast in such a film, but, considering her recent history with Feig, Melissa McCarthy seems like a pretty safe bet.
GHOSTBUSTERS 3 idea: Slimer has a neckbeard and a fedora and he's VERY unhappy & hostile about the team being women.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) August 4, 2014
5. Toledo Residents Get The Go Ahead To Drink Their Disgusting, Slime-Filled Water Again
The city of Toledo, Ohio is once again allowing its citizens to drink from the public water supply after tests found that the toxin microcystin, caused by an algal bloom in Lake Erie, is now at acceptable levels for human consumption. "Our water is safe," Mayor Michael Collins declared.
LA is so jealous right now of all the green juice toledo is getting for free
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) August 4, 2014
(by Dennis DiClaudio)