I understand, kid. One look at Obama's paintings and beige color scheme and zzzzzzz.
"What'd you do today, Tommy?"
"Well, my dad is retiring from the Secret Service and we have to go to his boss's office, which sucks because Jimmy and I were gonna go see Guardians of the Galaxy at the mall."
"Is your dad's boss cool?"
"Well, my dad, who can do 1000 pushups, calls him 'Renegade' in his microphone all the time. So, I thought he'd be cool, but he's just tall. HIS COUCHES WERE SO COOL, THOUGH! I was like POOOSH! BOOM! PWSHSHSHHHH! and then dad told me I'm not allowed to make sounds like that in there."
This is an official White House photo from June of a Secret Service agent with his wife and son meeting the President before the agent's departure, and beyond that we must speculate (and we will).
(by Johnny McNulty)