If there's one thing we've learned from all the rippling mounds of pasty flesh we see at the beach every summer, it's that for every ab-flexing meathead who looks like an extra from Magic Mike, there are approximately 250,000 guys who deserve to be filmed from the neck down for a news segment on morbid obesity. Here are 11 of the most egregious examples we could find. Now if you'll excuse us, we have to put together our new calendar, Fat Shirtless Sex Gods Of Summer.