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Congratulations on your only remaining hurdle to gay marriage being your...

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I hope me changing my avatar to support gay marriage will suffice as your...

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Here's to the Supreme Court on somehow finding a way to make the Gay Pride...

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If you want to get gay married, you may want to start by changing your red...

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The 8 best things ever drawn on people who fell asleep in the sun.

Sir, that's physically impossible. The victims of these painful pranks have learned three valuable lessons: apply your own sunscreen, don't pass out on the beach, and find new friends. Laugh at them...

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Sorry I assumed you were gay based on your exuberant support of gay marriage.

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Thanks for supporting gay marriage even if it just consists of you imagining...

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Let's make out like gay teens at Bible camp.

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I've put more effort into supporting gay marriage this week than I have into...

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I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to...

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11 guys who shouldn't be shirtless on a hot summer day or at any other moment...

If there's one thing we've learned from all the rippling mounds of pasty flesh we see at the beach every summer, it's that for every ab-flexing meathead who looks like an extra from Magic Mike, there...

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It's good there's not a law against food porn because you'd be in jail.

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Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not...

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The most insane, disturbing, and/or perverted sand castles ever built.

All the real women on the beach asked him to stop staring, so he had no choice but to build his own. Your days of getting by using a plastic bucket and shovel to make a sand castle are over. Nowadays...

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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today — June 27, 2013

Someone's getting money, someone's calming tensions, and someone's almost dead (OK, the last one is Nelson Mandela) and more in 5 Things You Should at Least Pretend to Know Today.Check it out >>

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I'd rather make new friends than help you move.

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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed...

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Sorry that it costs more money to move your possessions than they're actually...

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Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.

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Your wedding better be gay as hell if I'm going to waste one of my summer...

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