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Happy Father's Day to the parent who lets me do whatever the hell I want.

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Thanks for being one of the only dads who won't be confused by me wishing you...

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Here's to Kanye West for making every other dad look like slightly less of an...

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You're always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.

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Just a reminder that I'm going on vacation and you're not.

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I wish I could have sex for every time I was turned down for sex.

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Dad, the greatest Father's Day gift I can give is not subjecting you to an...

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This Father's Day I wrote you a song thanking you for always putting up with...

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I'm always here for you as a living example of how things could be much worse.

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Craigslist ad for a bike recounts man's emotional and turbulent divorce from...

(via Reddit)Looks like she's always in low gear for an easy ride. Divorces are tough, but the best cure for that kind of heartache is a new love. We hope this bike finds someone who will ride her the...

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25 ways to make dad laugh on Father's Day

We wish choosing our 25 favorite Father's Day cards was as easy as choosing our favorite child, but it wasn't. Regardless, here they are for you to send to your dad and disappoint him once again (he's...

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I never knew my father, but I'm sure he'd be proud of me also being a...

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Happy Father's Day to a wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has...

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90-year-old anti-gay congressman attends pro-gay event after wandering in by...

"This is great! I haven't had anyone to talk to about Rock Hudson movies in years!" Rep. Ralph Hall (R-TX) really doesn't like gay marriage, so much so that he sponsored a bill that would have made it...

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Dad, thanks for loving me almost as much as your legitimate offspring.

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Please accept this Father's Day card as a token of my poverty.

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I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child.

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Next time you're in town be sure to call me so I can be too busy to see you.

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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today — June 17, 2013

Should you see the new Superman movie? Who is the Supreme Court pissing off now? Why is Dick Cheney grouchily complaining about Chinese spies? Take a break from pretending to know how to do your job...

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Happy belated Father's Day from someone who has clearly inherited your...

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