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263 smart-ass responses to completely well-meaning signs.

Most of these signs were designed to help people — to get where they're going, to find a pet, to avoid grievous bodily harm — and yet some writing-utensil-wielding wiseasses felt compelled to come...

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Congratulations to Kim Kardashian on losing five pounds.

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You turn me on enough to consider having un-airconditioned sex.

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We just wanted to let you know that we all sincerely enjoyed your vacation.

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Dad, thanks for being emotionally distant enough to not care about me...

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Please respect Kim and Kanye's privacy at this special time of deciding where...

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I'd ask how your vacation went but you already posted every detail of it online.

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

"Nowadays everyone has to look like a french fry to get laid!" The gym can be an intimidating place, what with all the grunting, weight dropping, and people who actually have the discipline to follow...

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The hardest part of returning from vacation is adjusting back to doing...

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Welcome back from the vacation I didn't realize you went on.

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It was really great to see how fat you've gotten.

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I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like you weren't there for me.

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15 dudes even worse at Photoshopping muscle than they are at building it.

He later moved into a funhouse of mirrors so he could finally look normal. So you've been chatting with a chick you met in the Craigslist Casual Encounters section. She wants to see pictures of the...

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May your summer birthday be less hot and sticky than the moment of your birth.

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I'd have a very healthy sex life if my hand was a vagina.

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I'll miss you during your vacation almost as much as I'll resent you.

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I actually miss you.

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Teens steal credit card, use it to take photos of themselves in a photo booth.

Okay, guys, now an incriminating one! From the annals of stupid teen criminals comes this gem: after stealing a woman's credit card from a movie theater in Crofton, MD, a group of teens used her card...

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I look forward to seeing your body in summer clothes as much as I dread...

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Friendly's waitress forgets to remove extremely unfriendly description of...

Now that's just a great price for fried chicken.(photo via Facebook) Joseph Gibson just wanted to enjoy a nice Father's Day meal with his young child at the local bar. He even called Friendly's Sports...

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