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I'm offended by how easily you're offended.

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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today — July 15, 2013

What adorable thing did Elizabeth Warren and John McCain do? Who's guilty of doping now? How is Snowden escaping CIA assassination? Find out in 5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today.Drop...

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Just wanted to let you know one-to-one that we're all concerned about your...

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I wish there was a way to send the state of Florida to prison.

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15 honest email replies you wish you could send.

Subject: WE NEED TO TALK E-mail is great because it makes it so much easier for people to annoy you with inane questions, or as a medium to express their abject incompetence, or as a way to make...

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At least living in Florida will be some form of punishment for Zimmerman.

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Sorry you're shocked to learn that Florida's justice system is flawed.

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I can't tell if I'm hungover or if it's just Monday.

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I hope my anus and genitals roasting in 95-degree weather all day doesn't...

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I feel like I could not commit to you forever.

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Summer Badge: This is for managing to find someone to install your air...

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Sorry this weather is requiring you to powder your balls in real time.

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I'm worried we're not saving enough for our retirement alcohol.

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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today — July 16, 2013

What are Democrats screwing up now? Who's not getting rich off of the George Zimmerman trial (besides you)? What's in the new twinkies? Find out all that and also two more things in 5 Things You...

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I know a great wine that pairs with being able to stand my company.

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Nothing ruins a beautiful summer day like seeing a hipster wearing a winter hat.

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The best thing about a heat wave is constantly having the illusion you're...

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This heat wave is making me as equally unproductive as any typical workday.

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13 ways to let everyone know you're sweating your balls off.

It's a delicate ecosystem back there.See them all >>

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I'm creating a Pinterest board of what your life could look like if you...

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