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Online college courses have taught me that I can literally masturbate during...

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August 23, 2013, 6:46 am

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Better Like Button: Like (your hot friend in this picture, not you).

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August 23, 2013, 7:22 am

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When people tell you you're more beautiful without your makeup, it may be...

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August 23, 2013, 7:59 am

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I wish my sex life was as filthy as my apartment.

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August 23, 2013, 8:30 am

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If autocorrect replaced what you type with what you really mean.

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August 23, 2013, 9:01 am

See the rest >>

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Let’s have sex like we still care about impressing each other.

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August 23, 2013, 10:18 am

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Better Like Button: We get it, you're a Christian.

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August 23, 2013, 10:44 am

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Your Facebook food pics explain your Facebook beach pics.

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August 23, 2013, 11:03 am

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Better Like Button: Are you drunk?

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August 23, 2013, 11:45 am

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You'll always be a first round pick in my weekend drinking draft.

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August 23, 2013, 4:55 pm

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Honest Autocorrects: Rescheduling nightmare.

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August 24, 2013, 5:01 am

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PSA: Use a condom every time you happen to have one within grabbing distance.

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August 25, 2013, 5:01 am

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Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.

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August 26, 2013, 5:01 am

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Between my kids and my husband, I never seem to get any alone time with my...

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August 26, 2013, 8:01 am

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Just wanted you to know I'm dirtier than a former Disney Channel star.

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August 26, 2013, 8:19 am

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Hope you're feeling okay after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last...

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August 26, 2013, 8:58 am

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Censored: I enjoyed Miley Cyrus's performance last night.

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August 26, 2013, 9:34 am

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I'm glad you work out your issues on Facebook rather than half-naked on stage...

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August 26, 2013, 10:32 am

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At least there's not much summer left to be ashamed about not getting into...

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August 26, 2013, 10:46 am

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Better Like Button: Like (if you know what I mean).

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August 26, 2013, 1:13 pm

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