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PSA: When your password is just "password" you're inviting everyone to do...

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August 26, 2013, 2:31 pm

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My Labor Day is shaping up to be busier than any work day this year.

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August 26, 2013, 5:01 pm

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One day you'll learn that I never learn.

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August 27, 2013, 5:01 am

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If we stop sending our kids to school, the head lice will win.

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August 27, 2013, 8:01 am

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PSA: It gets better because all the old homophobic people are starting to die...

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August 27, 2013, 8:01 am

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I'd be more excited about getting away for Labor Day if I wasn't going with...

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August 27, 2013, 8:45 am

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Honest Autocorrects: Procrastination panic.

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August 27, 2013, 9:18 am

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PSA: When you don't mark it as NSFW, people end up on the street.

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August 27, 2013, 10:31 am

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Hope your relaxing two-week vacation helps offset your debilitating 50-week...

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August 27, 2013, 11:04 am

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This Labor Day try not to think about how your next holiday isn't until...

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August 27, 2013, 11:23 am

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Honest Autocorrects: Disappointing birthday.

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August 27, 2013, 12:55 pm

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Where we could use a little attention now that you're done with that whole...

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August 27, 2013, 1:58 pm

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Honest Autocorrects: New phone lie.

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August 27, 2013, 2:30 pm

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When we go out tonight, don't forget to drink a lot so I look better.

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August 27, 2013, 2:50 pm

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Let's do as little as humanly possible until Labor Day so we'll have the...

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August 27, 2013, 5:01 pm

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Who needs a child when they can experience every boring detail of parenthood...

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August 28, 2013, 5:01 am

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I measure my enjoyment of a meal in napkins used.

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August 28, 2013, 8:01 am

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PSA: Every 9 minutes someone in the US contracts an STD so don't feel too bad...

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August 28, 2013, 8:30 am

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Just because it's the anniversary of MLK's Dream speech doesn't mean it's...

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August 28, 2013, 9:50 am

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I want our relationship to be exactly like whichever perfect celebrity couple...

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August 28, 2013, 10:06 am

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