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Being a Secret Santa is pretty much the only office secret you've ever kept.

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You don't pay me enough to get a Secret Santa gift for anyone.

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The only way I can get through Wednesday is by avoiding people who call it...

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My love for you is more real than pretty much anything on the Internet these...

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I'm celebrating Hump Day by falling asleep on top of you during sex.

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I already know what I'd do without you.

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Sometimes I like to treat myself at work and just do one thing at a time.

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9 ways to keep someone sane during finals.

  You're exhausted, stressed out, jittery from all of the stimulants coursing through your veins—you need a study break! Below are some of the best ways to encourage your friends, discourage your...

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Thanks for always being there when I need someone to call my lost cellphone.

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I'd rather be in a human centipede than a group text.

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Nothing annoys me more than someone texting on the street who bumps into me...

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Ignoring texts is the new ignoring voicemails.

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I hope you appreciate that I took the time to dump you by telephone instead...

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Small Dating Victories Every Man Should Celebrate

 

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R.I.P. to a man who complained less about being in a jail cell for 27 years...

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Your orgasms have a higher production value than I'm accustomed to.

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The Countdown 'Til Christmas Is Finally F***ing Over Advent Calendar - Day 6.

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You're going to love the holiday present I got you and decided to keep for...

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Thanks for putting in extra hours to make a bullshit deadline that does not...

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I'm confident you'll ace your finals since you have no social or sex life to...

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