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8 Baby Naming Books That Should Totally Exist

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February 27, 2014, 8:31 am

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Remember that going out to lunch greatly reduces the chances of having to...

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February 27, 2014, 8:32 am

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I wish you didn't live so far away from my bed.

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February 27, 2014, 8:45 am

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Congratulations to gay Arizonians on still being allowed to eat where people...

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February 27, 2014, 9:26 am

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Let's celebrate your new job promotion by doing something that can get you...

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February 27, 2014, 12:01 pm

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I'm already pondering how your new job might benefit me.

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February 27, 2014, 1:16 pm

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The Brutally Oversimplfied Plots Of Every 2013 Best Picture Nominee

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February 27, 2014, 1:47 pm

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You're even prettier than Jared Leto dressed as a woman.

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February 27, 2014, 2:46 pm

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Being married is the only thing that ruins a marriage.

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February 27, 2014, 5:06 pm

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I'm too busy interacting with strangers on the internet to stay in touch with...

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February 28, 2014, 5:01 am

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14 Texting Abbreviations That Should Totally Exist

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February 28, 2014, 7:17 am

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Happy birthday to someone who won't show up in anyone's newsfeeds because you...

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February 28, 2014, 8:40 am

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Rust Cohle Pick-Up Lines

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February 28, 2014, 8:44 am

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I'm more afraid of forgetting to add an email attachment than I am of dying.

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February 28, 2014, 9:04 am

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If it were up to me, burning popcorn in the break room would be a fireable...

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February 28, 2014, 9:49 am

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May you gain a meaningless sense of self-satisfaction from correctly...

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February 28, 2014, 11:30 am

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You deserve an award for best performance in a depressing and unglamorous...

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February 28, 2014, 11:34 am

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Let's have a fun weekend before this winter finally saps our last remaining...

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February 28, 2014, 1:01 pm

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I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

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March 1, 2014, 5:01 am

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Sorry your version of a red carpet is a tattered, Merlot-stained throw rug.

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March 2, 2014, 5:01 am

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