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I wish Harold Ramis was alive to write a funny dedication to Harold Ramis.

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February 25, 2014, 9:39 am

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I hope the Academy remembers to honor Blockbuster Video during this year's In...

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February 25, 2014, 10:33 am

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I think we should start seeing other people's Netflix queues.

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February 25, 2014, 10:53 am

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Eating a pudding cup at lunch is a great way to let people know you still...

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February 25, 2014, 12:01 pm

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5 Delightfully Insulting Postcards To Help Arizona Promote Its Insane New...

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February 25, 2014, 12:13 pm

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Gay people should have as much right as anyone to eat terrible Arizona Tex-Mex.

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February 25, 2014, 1:12 pm

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I'd much rather be fat and warm than cold and fit.

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February 25, 2014, 2:40 pm

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The fact you're running outdoors in this weather tells me you have deeper...

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February 25, 2014, 2:51 pm

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Next time I'll try to wait until you're finished crying to initiate make-up sex.

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February 25, 2014, 4:52 pm

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Congratulations on doing what we pay you to do.

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February 26, 2014, 4:56 am

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An Honest Timeline Of Every Facebook Relationship Status You'll Ever Have

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February 26, 2014, 7:01 am

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I can't wait until I can use the heat as an excuse not to get any exercise.

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February 26, 2014, 7:20 am

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Singing "Happy Birthday" to you is the most work I've done all week.

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February 26, 2014, 8:41 am

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I'd love to go on a date with you so I can explain how undateable I am.

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February 26, 2014, 9:42 am

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This card is to say I had no input on the lame office birthday card I was...

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February 26, 2014, 10:06 am

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Your birthday party is so much more to me than just another mandatory office...

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February 26, 2014, 12:38 pm

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You're a good friend for putting up with me being a half-decent one.

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February 26, 2014, 1:55 pm

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The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

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February 26, 2014, 5:01 pm

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Let me know if you need me to be of absolutely no assistance to you.

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February 27, 2014, 5:01 am

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If someone ever made the mistake of marrying me, you'd probably be in the...

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February 27, 2014, 8:25 am

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