Chris Pratt is a great dad. Only great dads take the time to make pancakes for their kids, especially ones shaped like Disney characters. In an Instagram video he posted on Thursday, Pratt shows off the lovely pancake he made for his son, Jack, shaped exactly like Donald Duck's head. Jack, however, doesn't see Donald Duck. Everyone's a critic.
A video posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on
Pratt captioned the picture:
dad /dad/ noun informal One's father
Verb "Chris made a Donald Duck pancake that was basically a perfect photo copy of the picture he saw online and his son Jack refused to see the resemblance, probably out of spite or a deep seeded jealousy of his father's pancake skills, regardless Chris continued to dad.
See, that's an example of just how utterly wonderful a parent he is, even if his child isn't currently on the same page. And Chris Pratt, being the noble dad that he is, will probably continue to make pancakes for his son, working on his style and form, until one day perhaps he can make a pancake that looks remotely like anything other than a circle trying to escape from itself. Oh, dads. What would we do without them?
Me: fine, (thinking why are you messaging me) how are your wife and kids.
Him: They live in another state. I hate my mother.
Me: sorry to hear that, well it was great hearing from you.
Him: Your sister thinks we should get back together.
Me: No, no she doesn't.
I'm married, it's been almost 20 years (I was 15, he was 19). He has lots of kids, and baby mamas, sure dodged a bullet there. I've been with my husband for 15 years, married for 5. I'm not interested.
We dated for a couple years, then she dumped me. Two days later she was dating my best friend. I suspect she cheated on me with him while we were together, but have no proof.
Anyway, they got married. A few years into the marriage she cheated on him with a coworker, leading him to divorce her. She wanted to just have fun with the guy (she was mid 20s, and he was 18), but she got pregnant. As far as I know she's still with the guy and have two kids together.
6. LetsPlayThisBro dropped some legal action on their first naughty partner.
The restraining order is still active.
7. Caffined98 reveals the secret boyfriend (and all that shade).
A few weeks afterward we broke up. And a few weeks after that, she and the secret boyfriend she had the whole time slashed the tires on my truck and covered it in syrup and rice, as a renewal of their love and commitment to each other.
I hope I never have to call for an ambulance because he's an EMT and I'd rather die trying to get myself to the hospital than see him again.
9. Rg90184 learned that sad stories sometimes have happy endings.
Haven't seen her in years. Shortly after she dropped out of high school she went to prison for heroin. A little Facebook snooping shows me she's now in college, has a kid, and a husband with a good job. She looks happy. Good for her, glad she bounced back.
10. And Classic_butthole kept it classic with their happily ever after.
We are actually celebrating 12 years together today! He and I took each other's in high school, and we couldn't be happier.
The narrow gap that previously existed between massage therapy and prostitution just got filled by the warm, tender hands of the "yoni massage."
If this is legal, anything is.
The yoni massage, a massage performed exclusively on women's genitals, is intended to "free sexual energy," and costs $330/hr. But unlike the seedy rub-and-tug shops men go to in order to liberate their root chakras, the yoni massage is legal. How? Let's look to journalist Nilufer Atik's experience receiving one:
I must admit I was curious and confused all at once but my overriding feeling was I had to give it a try.
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina and means “sacred space”.
The idea of the massage is to release physical and emotional blockages and free sexual energy to enable the recipient to become more in tune with her body.
Some women experience an orgasm but that isn’t the goal.
So women are having orgasms, but it's still not sex? This is some real Bill-Clinton-"depends on what the definition of 'is' is" stuff.
We begin with an undressing ceremony.
I stand with my eyes closed, feeling awkward as Lisa lifts off my baggy T-shirt and peels down my underwear while breathing heavily on my neck.
Helloooo, nurse. This is officially a beach novel.
Lisa starts by massaging my feet, rubbing every toe between her fingers with aromatherapy oils.
So far, so ordinary.
She works her way up the back of my legs and I start to feel blissfully relaxed when suddenly I feel a hand slip between my buttocks.
OK, now this doesn’t feel so ordinary. Lisa proceeds to slide her palms up and down the backs of my thighs, gradually edging towards the gap between my legs.
I squirm a little but she tells me to breathe deeply and focus on the feeling — and it works. By the time she’s moved her hands to the front of my crotch, I’m so relaxed she could have massaged me with a Brillo pad and I wouldn’t have noticed.
SCREEEEECHHH!
WHAT ARE WE READING?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR YONI, NILUFER??
Does she need to see a doctor now? There should be only two reasons someone is too distracted to notice a Brillo pad on their vag:
1. You are on fire.
2. Aliens have just landed on earth.
3. A massage therapist told you to relax.
Anyway... Nilufer swears her Scotch-Brite crotch rub isn't a sex thing.
She softly presses a cupped palm on to my nethers and makes circular motions to “get the blood flowing”, using her hands, fingers and even her breath to warm, soothe and knead.
I am surprised to find that, instead of becoming aroused, I just feel tingly and blissful all over.
Oh. Come. On. Anytime someone heats your "nethers" with their breath, its sex. In fact, anytime you have to call it your "nethers," its sex.
You can read Nilufer's full story here to see if this, complete with ridiculously staged photos, as though they would allow cameras in there.
Despite what lame-os all over the internet are saying, Pokémon Go is very cool and very hip, and you should play it. I know this because I, myself, am extremely cool, and I play Pokémon Go.
A portrait of the author.
Right now I'm writing this from my home in Santorini, surrounded by all the prettiest girls from every high school, though I am the only one of them who could properly called "beautiful." I just consumed my lunch of ground bone marrow and seaweed, and I was full after two bites. I work full time as a fitness guru for my company, MODELREXIA—classes there are $300 each. I'd link you to the website, but it's so minimalist that it's technically just a white page.
Currently, I'm dressed in a bikini and that Alexander McQueen skin jacket. I'm also the daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow, but I don't like to talk about it because she's old and fat. I'm 22 years old, and when I choose to work, I'm a CEO. My favorite hobby is Pokémon Go. Here's how to play it like me and make all your friends jealous.
1. Call it your new fitness tracker.
I don't know about you, but I like to have the latest version of every single fitness tracker, because it scares women around me with the threat that I could potentially get even skinner. Well, Pokémon Go happens to be a pretty damn good fitness tracker. You can hatch different kinds of Pokemon eggs by walking distances of 2-10 kilometers. You can't even trick the system by opening the game in the backseat of a car—it uses a combination of your phone's pedometer and GPS, making it potentially more accurate than the fitness tracker that's already built into your smartphone. At the rate I'm dropping weight, I won't have to go to Mexico once a year to get an illegal colonic anymore!
2. Use it to show off the exotic locations you vacation to.
Oh, how did I manage to get a 2390 CP Zapdos? Let me pull up the GPS location from my Pokédex. Oh right, I found it on Mel Gibson's private island in Fiji. Too bad for you, I guess!
3. Your Pokemon pictures are now a low-key way to photograph expensive purchases and hot guys.
Ooh, a Vulpix! #YesThatsABirkinBag
4. Use it to bond with Sasha Obama.
Malia is easy to befriend—just sneak her a beer at Le Bain—but Sasha is a little more reserved. Trust me, though, she's crazy about this game. She's even managed to find a MewTwo!
You’re supposed to date around a bit when you’re young: play the field, sow your wild oats, pinpoint the qualities you like in a romantic partner, that kind of thing. But some people don’t need to do that—they find their soulmate and permanent sex buddy when they're teenagers, and then lock it down for good. Here are some famous people who said yes to the first one who came along.
1. Bono and Ali Hewson.
She's the only person alive to see him without shades.
Ali Stewart and Paul Hewson (he hadn’t thought up his ridiculous nickname yet) met in 1973 when they were both attending Mount Temple Comprehensive School in Dublin—she was 12, and he was 13. Although Hewson pursued her for years, Stewart wasn’t interested because he dated a lot of different girls. They were just friends until his mother died, whereupon Stewart says she kind of had to step in to fill that role for Hewson, doing his laundry and feeding him and stuff. U2 formed in 1976, Hewson started calling himself Bono, and Stewart still agreed to marry him in 1982.
2. Sarah and Todd Palin.
His Secret Service nickname would've been "Just Todd."
While governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin’s husband Todd was the state’s “First Dude.” And it would seem he was her First Dude as well. Sarah Heath and Todd Palin dated as teenagers, and were both in the 1982 graduating class of Wasilla High School. Six years later, they got married at the Palmer County Courthouse in Alaska because they didn’t want a fancy wedding. And seven months later, their first of their five children, Track, was born. "Track" was their first choice name.
3. Robin Thicke and Paula Patton.
The lines of marriage are not so blurred.
Thicke and Patton didn’t go to the same high school, but they met when they were teenagers, in 1991. They actually met at a teen nightclub in Los Angeles called Ballistyx, co-owned by David Faustino of Married… With Children, which makes this the most 1991 story ever. Somehow the goofy Thicke (who is white) charmed Patton (who is half-African-American) by singing Stevie Wonder’s song “Jungle Fever” to her as they danced. They started officially dating in 1993, got married in 2005, had a son in 2010… and then Thicke went and messed the whole thing up.
4. Stephen and Ayesha Curry.
MVPs of America's hearts.
While Steph is a basketball player of some reknown and Ayesha is a chef, the Currys are best known as the parents of Riley Curry, beloved toddler celebrity and the only person to ever enjoy a press conference. They’ve known each other since they were teenagers in the same church youth group in North Carolina, but at the time, Ayesha wasn’t allowed to date. However, Steph always had a thing for her, and after she moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting, he found her on Facebook when he was in town for the ESPYs. They got married in 2011.
5. Jon Bon Jovi and Dorothea Hurley.
In sickness and in health, in wanted in deadness or in aliveness.
At the peak of his rock god powers and feathered hair good looks in the late ‘80s, Bon Jovi could have had any woman he wanted (the guy Bon Jovi, not the band Bon Jovi, although this was probably true for the rest of the band as well). But the only woman he wanted was his high school girlfriend, Dorothea Hurley. They were just friends when they met in a history class in their New Jersey high school in the late ‘70s, mostly because Dorothea was dating a friend of Jon’s. When that friend left home to join the Navy, Jon made his move. They secretly got married on a one-day break on a 1989 Bon Jovi tour.
Have you heard of "micro-cheating?" Probably not, because it is not actually a thing. However, according to Mélanie Berliet, a writer for Thought Catalog, you have probably micro-cheated on your partner, and they have probably micro-cheated on you, and you are probably constantly micro-cheating on each other because you are both horrible people. What is micro-cheating exactly? Basically, it's doing anything at all that might get you the attention of a person who is not your partner.
Here is a sampling of some of things Berliet considers micro-cheating for females:
Smiling coquettishly when she catches a dude checking her out, as if to say “maybe.”
Bending over at just the right moment, fully aware that some dude’s hoping to get a glimpse of her ass.
Prancing rather than walking.
Booty shorts.
Sending texts to a guy that are laced with more emojis than she typically uses when communicating with her besties.
Got that ladies? No prancing, no booty shorts, limit your emoji use when speaking to a male, and no smiling or bending whatsoever.
Now onto the male list, because equality, right?
Tagging another girl in an Instagram that reminds him of her or references a seemingly innocuous inside joke between them.
Closing his eyes when he needs a minute to escape and daydreaming about the girl he’s crushing on because she’s his opium of the moment.
Establishing secret code words and/or inside jokes with women outside his romantic relationship.
Raving about how awesome some other girl is to his friends because it makes him genuinely happy to talk about her.
Following up with a “nice to meet you” message unnecessarily.
Or, better yet, just lock your boyfriend in a cage so he can not interact with anyone but you.
He will run faster than that dog.
It really is not clear if Berliet is joking or not, but if you don't already have trust issues and want to develop some, check out the full lists here.
In their personal quests to be the very best like no one ever was, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are traveling across the land searching far and wide for people who will vote for them.
One of the qualifications to be president, according to the election process, is to stay super hip with what the youths are up to, and both Hillary and Trump are jumping on the popularity of Pokémon Go to relate to kids.
In typical Hillary fashion, the presumptive Democratic nominee made an adorable, pandering pun, saying, "I don't know who created Pokemon Go, but I'm trying to figure out how to get them to have 'Pokemon Go to the Polls."
Hillary in the 90s, playing Pokémon before it was cool again.
The Clinton campaign is also hosting an event at a Pokestop in Lakewood, Ohio to register real voters while catching fake monsters.
And if you thought the "Pokemon Go-to-the-polls" joke was sloppy, Trump turned Pokémon Go into "Crookéd Hillary No," a short video saying that Hillary is as evil an evil-doer as Jessie from Team Rocket.
If the PokéCraze lasts through the election, expect to see Pokéstops and polling places, and maybe more Pokéstop in Mexico to keep immigrants away during a Trump presidency.
Rolling Stone Sir Mick Jagger, 72, is expecting his eighth child and the first with his ballerina girlfriend Melanie Hamrick, 29. The lead singer in the iconic band has seven other children ranging in age from 17 to 45. He's so counter-cultural he's made being an old man who doesn't know when to quit cool.
Now hold up three fingers on the other hand.
The rocker performed his first gig with the Rolling Stones 54 years ago, when his girlfriend wasn't even a twinkle in anyone's eye yet, and Jagger's eye still contained a twinkle. Decades later, beautiful and talented women young enough to be his granddaughter still want to have his babies.
On Thursday, several news outlets reported Donald Trump had chosen Indiana governor Mike Pence as his running mate. In response, Twitter lit up with comedy. Go here for a roundup solely of Pence puns. Then, take a look at 21 great Mike Pence jokes below, that thankfully go beyond wordplay! Enjoy.
1.
I feel like Mike Pence has yelled AFTER THEM at least once in his life
According to the New York Post, 62-year-old Jane Beckman married 31-year-old Andrew No Last Name, making them basically a real-life Harold and Maude (The Post calls her a "geek"* bride, although the story makes no mention of her biting the heads off live animals or really any sideshow work at all). They were actually wed in 2010, so this relationship is not a flash in the pan. Why are they talking to the Post now? No idea. Possibly for age-difference positivity.
The couple met in some self-improvement courses, which just goes to show you: that stuff works. Beckman told thePost that she and Andrew started out as friends, but that friendship eventually developed into something more. Beckman says she found Andrew attractive, but didn't seriously consider him in a romantic sense until her ex suggested it.
I was shocked and thought he was too young for me at first, I’m more than twice his age—but one night I proposed kissing him. When I told him I’d really like to kiss him he just froze, at that moment I was terrified and thought I’d really blown it between us. Eventually we got closer and closer, then after a brief interruption from my housemate we kissed for the first time.
Please don't make me write a caption for this picture.
Andrew said he knew he and (the undeniably youthful looking) Jane would be "together forever" after she made the first move.
I’d never considered dating anyone more than ten years my senior, so I never considered dating Jane before she asked if she could kiss me. From the first time we were together it felt like we were in freefall or flying, there was a thrill of doing something so outside of what’s expected.
Andrew's parents weren't happy about the age difference but came around when they saw how happy their son was, and according to Beckman, "how similar we are in our outlooks and interests."
According to Andrew:
There is an age gap but emotionally and intellectually we are perfect. We even have similar libidos, everything is lined up I couldn’t have asked for a better partner.
Because Jane and I are geeks I think this incenses people a lot more. We joke now that I’m her "trophy husband" so we try to make fun of the comments where we can
As Andrew says, their relationship does have a tendency to "incense" other people Beckman attributes this general ire to their age difference, although honestly it could have something to do with their proclivity for Civil War re-enactments. She explains:
It was terrifying for us initially, some people told us we were sick or thought we were mother and son all the time. Some people have made some fickle comments about us, but I feel like they are more bothered by the fact that we’re happy geeks than the age difference.
But I think we’re perfect for one another, we have an amazing intellectual connection on all sorts of topics, we debate most mornings and are completely besotted with one another.
The couple "decked" out in holiday garb (that's a Christmas pun).
Although Beckman made the first move initially, when she "proposed" they kiss, Andrew NLM was the one who actually proposed marriage, while the couple were on a vacation in Hawaii. According to Beckman:
It was the most romantic location, I was utterly clueless, and he just started to tell me how compatible we were and how he wanted to do things with me forever. Next thing I knew he was on one knee holding a ring, I was so taken aback, I couldn’t believe it.
Ah, such romantic talk, all the compatibility and so forth. Possibly also a lot of other flowery words, like "reasonable" and "why not?"
They seem like a very happy couple.
They're planning to start a family at some point, via either adoption or surrogacy but for now they're still enjoying the honeymoon phase of the marriage (wow, seven years, God love 'em) before having kids. After all, as the Post points out, "[a]ge ain't nothing but a number." A number that indicates how close one is, on average, to death, but just sure, still a number, nonetheless.
Thursday night on Late Night with Seth Meyers,old SNL comrades Kristen Wiig and Seth Meyers aired grievances, and cleared the air. Wiig is a jokester both on-air and off, wreaking havoc on the host with a Japanese impotence product and a water gun. Now they're both struggling to forgive and forget.
Seth, for his part, is not completely innocent, even though he looks harmless. The sneaky man is an earphone thief, and does not respect wood.
A photo posted by Gillian FAITH 💐 (@fitfaithtransformation) on
Faith is a mother of three in British Columbia, Canada, who wears bikinis and is in the best shape of her life at 41. She's a bit like Sia Cooper, the type of incredibly strong woman who gives birth and shows off a six pack six days later.
There was a period in her life, though, in which she now recognizes she was suffering from a food addiction: “I was such a food addict and I didn’t want people to know whenever I wanted a fast food meal. Wendy’s was my favorite. I would go to three different Wendy’s because I didn’t want the cashier to know.”
She’d then Febreeze her car, “so there was no sign.”
A photo posted by Gillian FAITH 💐 (@fitfaithtransformation) on
It was her divorce that motivated Faith to start exercising and eating healthily, but in her desire to change her life she "went too far," according to People, developing anorexia and bulimia. “I didn’t find a healthy balance until about four years ago," she says, when she stumbled upon a strong man competition after finishing one of her runs.
“I saw men pushing fire trucks and flipping tires and I said, ‘I want to do that.'” Faith entered her first fitness competition in May 2013, eventually being able to push cars and run obstacle courses with kettle bells, but when it got too easy, she decided to take on the ultimate challenge: bodybuilding.
A photo posted by Gillian FAITH 💐 (@fitfaithtransformation) on
Faith's family friends encouraged her to go for it “I realized my issue was fear-based," she told People. "In strength sports, I was in a big tee shirt, big shorts, a baseball cap. I didn’t have to be whittled down with my skin showing. Where was my loose skin going to go? I’d have to bare my cellulite to the world. I was terrified."
It makes sense that people want to provide for their loved ones when they die, especially if their loved ones have no other way of taking care of themselves—like their cherished pets. You really can't count on pets to go out and get jobs (so lazy), so when you're not around, what will become of them? A lot of them can't even use can openers. Famous animal-lover Betty White has supposedly set up a $5 million trust fund for her pets after she dies. Oprah Winfrey's dogs will allegedly receive $30 million when she dies, because she just had to be better than Betty White. Here are nine other times pets inherited (or will be inheriting) their owners' considerable fortunes.
1. Tommaso
In 2011, Maria Assunto, the childless widow of an Italian real estate tycoon, died at the age of 94 and bequeathed $13 million to her 4-year-old cat, Tommaso. Besides money, Tommaso, who was found on the streets of Rome, also received property in Rome, Milan, and Calabria (how much does that translate to in cat food?). Assunto had hand-written and signed her will in 2009, putting her lawyers in charge of choosing "the animal welfare body or association to which to leave the inheritance and the task of looking after the cat Tommaso." At around the same time, Assunto randomly met a woman in the park named Stefania, who happened to be both a cat-lover and a nurse. "Sometimes I'd go to her house so my cat could play with Tommaso," Stefania told The Guardian. When Assunto's health began to fail, Stefania also stepped in to take care of the frail elderly woman, helping her climb stairs and eat and bathe. So either Assunto or her lawyers (it's not really clear) decided that she would leave the fortune to her cat, in the care of Stefania.
Anna Orecchioni, one of the estate's lawyers, told Italian newspaper Il Messaggero, "We're convinced that Stefania is the right person to carry out the old lady's wishes. She loves animals just like the woman she devoted herself to right up until the end."
Stefania, for her part, claimed she wasn't aware just how wealthy the woman she worked for was. She told the Telegraph:
The old lady suffered from loneliness. She looked after that cat more than you'd look after a son. I promised her that I would look after the cat when she was no longer around. She wanted to be sure that Tommaso would be loved and cuddled. But I never imagined that she had this sort of wealth. She was very discreet and quiet. I knew very little of her private life. She only told me that she had suffered from loneliness a lot.
2. Trouble
In what has to be one of the most publicized cases of a human leaving a huge amount of money to a pet, Leona Helmsleyleft $12 million (the bulk of her estate) to her Maltese, Trouble, when she died in 2007. She'd bought the dog as a companion after the death of her husband, Harry Helmsley, a billionaire hotelier. A judge later ruled that the dog would get only $2 million. Luckily, Trouble was still able to scrape by.
Helmsley did leave an undisclosed number of millions to her brother Alvin Rosenthal, who was supposed to take care of Trouble, and $5 million each to two of her four grandchildren, on the condition that they visit their father's grave at least once a year. The other two grandchildren received not a damn penny, for, according to her will, "reasons that are known to them." Her nickname, the "Queen of Mean," seems pretty fitting. (Sorry, Nellie Oleson, you had a good run.)
However, after Helmsley died, Rosenthal decided he didn't want to take care of the dog (perhaps she was…wait for it…too much trouble), who was then flown via private jet to Helmsley Sandcastle Hotel in Sarasota, FL, and looked after by caretaker Carl Lekic. Lelic allegedly spent $100,000 on the dog's care per year, including $8,000 for grooming and $1,200 for dog food. No word on where the other $90,000 went—do dogs do cocaine? Well, there was the cost of full-time security guard, since Trouble received 20 to 30 death threats a year.
Sadly, Trouble died in 2010, at the age of 12. Helmsley's will dictated that her beloved dog be placed beside her in the 12,000-square-foot Helmsley mausoleum (which, as an aside, she requested be "washed or steam-cleaned at least once a year," and she allotted $3 million for that cost). Unfortunately the cemetery wouldn't allow it, so Trouble was cremated and her remains were "privately retained," according to spokesperson Eileen Sullivan.
3. Gunther III
The Gunthers are probably the richest dogs in the world. When German countess Carlotta Liebenstein died in 1991, she left her entire fortune—$80 million—to her German Shepherd Gunther III.
Gunther's favorite drink is water with fruit and vitamin supplements, just like Jennifer Aniston!
Gunther III then left his fortune to his son, conveniently named Gunther IV. He allegedly bought a villa in Miami from Madonna and was the winning bidder in an auction for a rare white truffle. Watching him handle those transactions must have been adorable. Do you think he wore a monocle?
Well, he must've been a smart investor, because by the time of his death, he was worth about $372 million. He, in turn, left that fortune to his son, Gunther V (yes, we're still talking about dogs), who produced the hit series Dogs Gone Wild but is currently on house arrest for his third DUI. Kidding! Gunther V does live an extravagant lifestyle, though, as you can see from this video of his stay at Casta Diva Resort & Spa, which shockingly has only been watched 373 times since being uploaded in 2014 (and about 325 times were me).
In the tradition of many fine German Shepherds, Gunther is clearly an impeccably trained dog, who slaloms a line of waiters and who will place his paw on a menu (which ostensibly reads "DOG FOOD") on command. Also, according to the video, "It's a well-known fact that Gunther enjoys sailing," which is maybe the best thing I've heard about a dog for at least a week.
"Okay, here is foot, haha I order, please give treat, who is the good dog, is it me yes it is."
4. Blackie
When an antiques dealer in England named Ben Rea died in 1988, he left his $12.5 million fortune to a Blackie, the last of the 15 cats with whom he had once allegedly shared his home. Rea chose not to give any money to his family, but he did give some to three cat charities, along with instructions for them to take care of Blackie. Blackie was probably happier about that than the rest of the family, but it's not cats' fault they're better than some humans.
5. Bella Mia
In 2015, accountant Rose Ann Bolasny from Queens, NY announced that when she died, she would be leaving her entire $1 million fortune (including jewelry, a trust fund, and a "holiday home") not to her sons, but to her dog, Bella Mia (which is Italian for Future Kidnapping Victim). She told the Mirror that Bella Mia was a “gift from God," (in actuality she was a Maltese from a pet shop) and that she eats filet mignon and has a whole room for her outfits (which is totally believable given how many different looks she sports in the pictures on her website, Hugs From Bella Mia). According to Bolasny, her sons were "quite happy" to be left out of her will. Uh-huh. Sure they were.
My children are grown and successful. They don't need my money. They know how happy she has made my husband and I.
We decided that we had given her such a lavish life that we wanted to make sure she's still have what she was accustomed to when I was gone.
Bolsany also said Mia's boyfriend is a Chihuahua named Bogie, who bought her a £400 diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. How much do you want to bet this Bogie (if that is his real name) character is just some opportunistic gold digger?
6. Minter, Juice, and Callam
When Alexander McQueen killed himself in 2010, right after the death of his mother, he made sure his three English bull terriers were provided for by leaving them £50,000 (which was about $81,000 at the time) in his will. According to The Standard, his suicide note read simply, "I am sorry… please look after my dogs. Sorry… I love you… Lee."
McQueen's estate was valued at around £16 million, so the dogs' money was just a small fraction. He also left a good deal of money to his family, his godsons, his two caretakers (one of whom found his body), and four different charities, two of which dealt with animal welfare. The Battersea Dogs and Cats Home received £100,000. Their manager, Spencer Wisdom, told the Guardian:
We're thrilled that such an icon of the fashion world chose to leave a lasting gift to the home. Alexander was a devoted animal lover and a great supporter of Battersea, and we know he would be so proud to see his generous donation helping care for the thousands of dogs and cats at Battersea in need of a new home.
7. Red
An orange tabby named Red was fortunate enough to be the sole inheritor of David Harper's fortune. Well, not directly—when the Canadian died in 2005 without any heirs, he left $1.3 million to the United Church of Canada, so that they would take care of Red. This Red, incidentally, was apparently the last in a long line of orange tabbies Harper had taken in and named Red over the years. The final Red.
8. Tinker
A stray black cat who would come to be called Tinker probably had no idea just how lucky he was when he chose to start going round to the home of Margaret Layne, a rich widow living in London. Or maybe he planned it all along. Either way, when Layne died in 2002, Tinker inherited that $800,000 home, as well as a $226,000 trust fund. She asked her neighbor Eugene Wheatley and wife to manage the trust, noting that after Tinker died, they would get the rest. The only catch for Tinker was that he had to live at the home, so his roaming days were over. But that doesn't sound too bad—Wheatley told BBC News, "He has the run of the house, which he now shares with Lucy, who was our pussy but decided to move there after she had a litter. And there's Stardust, a white cat who came to us from a friend who couldn't look after him any more but chose to go and live there."
9. Nicholas
Singer Dusty Springfield had put a provision in her will for the care of her (then) 13-year-old ragdoll cat Nicholas. When she died (which she did, in 1999), Nicholas was to, according to the New York Post, be fed baby food imported into the U.S. from Britain, live in a 7-foot indoor tree house lined with scratch pads an catnip, sleep in a bed lined with the Springfield's pillowcase and nightgown, be played Springfield's greatest hits each night before bed, and be "married" to Springfield's friend's female cat. That's nice and all, but perhaps a little "Graveseat Driver" for some cats' taste. What if Nicholas doesn't believe in the conventions of marriage? You don't know.
Taco Bell is opening a high-end version of its restaurant on the Las Vegas Strip that will sell booze. Taco Bell Cantina will be two stories, open 24 hours, and take inspiration from Vegas in its design and decor. It will serve beer and "twisted freezes"—frozen beverages with either vodka, rum or tequila. Their traditional menu will be available, plus some classy tapas dishes.
Behold: the innovation of beer and tequila in red or blue goo.
Taco Bell opened its first cantina in Chicago, and they have plans to open more in other major U.S. cities. So no one will have to make a pilgrimage to Vegas just to get a twisted freeze.
The best part about the Taco Bell Cantina in Las Vegas will be its outdoor patio with views of The Strip. A margarita is always cheaper than the cover charge at a club for a view of Sin City.
Well, it's official—Hiddleswift is real. Whether you love or hate the celebrity romance-monster, Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift are definitely "together" and "very happy." On Thursday, Hiddleston spoke to The Hollywood Reporterabout Taylor Swift, after news of his Emmy nomination (for his role as a pair of handsome forearms framed by expensive linen shirts in The Night Manager) was released.
The interviewer mentioned that Hiddleston was "in the middle of a cultural frenzy right now dating Taylor Swift," and asked how he'd respond to people who say it's all a publicity stunt. Hiddleston answered:
Well, um. How best to put this? That notion is—look, the truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we're very happy. Thanks for asking. That's the truth. It's not a publicity stunt.
Well, there you have it. He says they're real, and Tom Hiddleston wouldn't lie. He's way too British and charming for nonsense like that. The real question is, how much more PDA can they fit into the rest of the summer? So much. It's like it's the Relationship Olympics and they're going for gold.
8. MacManus47's method is a little manipulative, but probably effective.
As soon as you can master the speech you'll give to coworkers about how "Everybody grieves in different ways, and this is mine."
It hurts so good.
9. Gaulbat has experience with this. Weirdly, they seem more upset about not eating their dead coworker's food than they do about having a dead coworker.
this actually happened to me lol...The delivery guy at the pizza place I worked at died in a motorcycle crash. We found 3 of his tupperware containers but unfortunately the food was too old to eat :(
Kylie Jenner, the amost-nineteen-year-old whose "job" it is to get people to speculate about her personal life and face, is once again fueling speculation about her personal life. But this time, it's more interesting than a haircut.
The baby of the family fueled speculation that she was pregnant A) just by living and B) for wearing a "curve-hugging" dress.
Enough people on Twitter were like "OMG she pregz?" that Kylie tweeted a rebuttal, but than quickly deleted it, which makes things interesting.
She says she's not pregnant, but if she isn't pregnant, why would she delete the tweet that she's not pregnant? Does that mean she's pregnant? Or did she just not like the phrasing of the tweet, and thought she could make it funnier?
We're confused.
According to the rumors, Kylie has been pregnant for years, but still has yet to give birth. She asserts that the day she is with child, she'd be the first to make the announcement. That way she'd get all the RTs, instead of some publication.
If/when she does give birth, she'll be a great mom. According to her Snapchat, she's good with kids.
The pregnancy speculation also comes on the heels of marriage rumors. Previously, she posed wearing a big-ass ring, and captioned a photo with her 26-year-old boyfriend Tyga "Mr. and Mrs."
It is also important to note that Tyga has a child with Blac Chyna, who's currently pregnant with the child of Kylie's half-brother Rob Kardashian, with whom she is also engaged.
SO, if Kylie is indeed pregnant, the kids will be both SIBLINGS and COUSINS with King Cairo Stevenson, Tyga and Chyna's son.
You can't deny that this makes interesting television.
