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Article 19


Kylie Jenner has bright red cornrows, so now she's also appropriating clown culture.

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Kylie Jenner has been in trouble for cornrow-based hair appropriation before, but now she added an extra level: making her hair clown red.

❤️19

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

In this picture, she's saying Please, don't look at me, I need my privacy... turn on the flash, dummy.

❤️

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

What if Kylie colored her hair as a subtle endorsement of the upcoming remake of Stephen King's It? If this is true, we are forever grateful.

Taylor Lautner confirms that Taylor Swift wrote 'Back to December' about him.

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The second season of Scream Queens starts in September, and on Monday, star Lea Michele did a Facebook live video promoting it, along with two of her new costars, John Stamos and Taylor Lautner. At some point in video, the talk switches to past relationships (remember when John Stamos dated Paula Abdul?), and Michele asks Taylor Lautner (of Twilight werewolf fame) about dating Taylor Swift (T-squared).

John Stamos, Lea Michele, and Taylor Lautner are with us LIVE at the FOX TCAs! Send us your questions below.

Posted by Scream Queens on Monday, August 8, 2016

"You dated Taylor Swift, I remember that. Didn’t she write a song about you? I think it’s something about a sweater and a hat, right? It’s like, 'your hat in December!'" she asks Lautner. He doesn't seem too into talking about it, but eventually gives in and admits, “It’s called 'Back to December.'"

Fans have previously speculated that Swift's 2010 song was about Lautner, and now there's proof. Everyone else who's had Taylor Swift write a song about them, please step forward.

Megan Fox's new baby's name is a trip.

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Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green welcomed their third child on August 4th, and the happy couple gave the kid a pretty unusual name: Journey River Green. Journey is the third son for Fox and Green, joining brothers Noah, 3, and Bodhi, 2.

Once a vampire...always a vampire.

A photo posted by Megan Fox (@the_native_tiger) on

Here are some other things that 'Journey River Green' could be a name for:

A kayak company.

A rehab center.

A strand of marijuana.

An outdoor music festival for Journey fans.

A retreat where women call themselves "Goddesses" and trade granola recipes.

The name is very befitting for Fox's son, since according to her Instagram, Fox describes herself as a "Child of the Cherokee Tribe, forest nymph, Lunar Leo," as well as a "mother goddess to 2 bohemian revolutionaries—my kamikaze free spirit & my peaceful warrior." The unusual name definitely seems in step with her aesthetic.

Congrats to Fox, Green and their family on the new addition, and best of luck on the journey of explaining to people why you named your baby Journey.

9 quotes from celebrities who won't be body shamed.

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The Internet's given us many good things, like pictures of hunks holding puppies and videos of Mike Tyson falling off a hoverboard (#neverforget), but it's also given us terrible things like Internet trolls who try and rip on anyone who's not perfect. While Hollywood's unattainable beauty standards are nothing new, there are a fresh crop of women who won't bow down to traditional ideas of beauty or to hateful trolls. Here are 9 quotes from female celebrities who won't be body shamed.

Get ready to feel empowered.

1. Serena Williams is an amazing athlete who's proud of her body.

Love sexy strong pictures. #selfmagazine

A photo posted by Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) on

"When I was young I thought I should be built more like an athlete — long and lean — not with a womanly figure … I learned to be proud of my curves and to embrace my large boobs and my butt. It's all about loving who you are and realizing that you're beautiful."

2. Amy Schumer uses humor to shut down trolls.

“I’m probably like 160 pounds right now and I can catch a dick wheneverI want, like, that’s the truth. It’s not a problem!”


3. Adele proves confidence comes from within.

Started from the bottom now we're here xx

A photo posted by @adele on

"I've never wanted to look like models on the cover of magazines. I represent the majority of women and I'm very proud of that."


4. Kate Winslet has no time for body shamers.

#katewinslet #Triple9 #2016

A photo posted by Kate Winslet (@kate.winslet.official) on

"You only have one life, I don't want to spend my life worrying about how I look or what other people think."

5. Melissa McCarthy doesn't need to change.

Bernie endorsed @hillaryclinton!!!It makes me shout for joy from the rooftops of NYC!!!!

A photo posted by Melissa McCarthy (@melissamccarthy) on

"I've never felt like I needed to change... I've always thought, "If you want somebody different, pick somebody else." But sure, criticism can sometimes still get to me. Some things are so malicious, they knock the wind out of you."


6. Rihanna knows not everyone's a size zero.

Thank you #STOCKHOLM for being one of the LIVEST crowds I've ever experienced!!! #ANTIWORLDTOUR

A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

“You have to remember that it’s not practical or possible for an everyday woman to look like [models]. Being size zero is a career in itself so we shouldn’t try and be like them. It’s not realistic and it’s not healthy.”


7. Kristen Bell always keeps it real.

“Who cares if there are lumps on my thighs? I’m guilty of having human legs made up of fat, muscle, and skin, and sometimes when you sit, they get bumpy!” ​


8. Rebel Wilson doesn't conform to typical Hollywood standards.

Sunset cruise gorgeousness x

A photo posted by Rebel Wilson (@rebelwilson) on

“I don't really care what I look like that much. And I think that women out there should just be happy with how they look and they shouldn't really try to conform to any stereotype. Just be happy and hopefully healthy."

9. Kelly Clarkson feels happy in her own skin.

Born & raised Texan. Y'all don't mess with my house! #DontMessWithTexas #DMWT @dontmesstexas

A photo posted by Kelly Clarkson (@kellyclarkson) on

“ I’ve just never cared what people think. It’s more if I’m happy and confident and feeling good, that’s always been my thing. And more so now, since having a family – I don’t seek out any other acceptance.”

5 people who fell in love with inanimate objects.

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If you think it's impossible to find your soul mate, then maybe you're being too picky. Have you even tried dating someone who's not a human? It sounds strange, but some people claim they've found true love with inanimate objects. After crashing and burning on Tinder, dating inanimate objects doesn't really sound all that bad. At least you always get to be the one who picks what to watch on Netflix.

1. The man who fell in love with a VW Bug named Vanilla.

Gives new meaning to "filling up the tank."

Edward Smith claims he's a “mechaphile,” aka someone who gets horny for planes, trains, and automobiles. Smith brags he's had over 1,000 sexual partners, but only one of them was human. This onetime automobile-slut has recently stopped sticking it in anything with a motor and now enjoys a committed relationship with a VW Beetle named Vanilla. He's got a couple rides on the side, but players gonna play.


2. The man who fell in love with a sex doll named Noni.

The only time it's OK to call your girlfriend a dummy.

Murray is a thrice divorced man who's finally found true love with Noni, his f*ck doll. It's more than just sex between these two, although obviously there's plenty of that going on. Murry talks to his plastic lover, dresses her up in lingerie, and cuddles her. He insists there's a real emotional connection with his fake doll.

Emotional connection, yes.

3. The woman who married the Eiffel Tower.

She's not even French.

Erika Eiffel is, you guessed it, known for marrying the Eiffel Tower. She starred in a documentary called Marrying the Eiffel Tower where she revealed her monumental love story and lifelong attraction to inanimate objects. Despite its phallic shape, according to Erika, the Eiffel Tower is a woman. Here's a video of her dry humping her wife in front of tourists:


4. The woman who fell in love with a tree named Tim.

She can't leaf him alone.

Emma McCabe was just a girl standing in front of a tree, asking him to bone her. You read that right, the 31-year-old fell in love with a tall, strong, handsome... tree. She said sex with Tim (that's the tree's name) was the best sex she's ever had in her life. Take that Emma's ex-boyfriends! Emma said she plans on marrying Tim, but she might be waiting a while for him to get down on one knee and propose.

Dendrophilia: Sexual attraction to trees.

5. The woman who fell in love with an amusement park ride.

Love is a wild ride.

Amy Wolfe found love in a hopeless place—an amusement park in Pennsylvania. That's where she fell in love with and married her soul mate, a ride called 1001 Nachts. Their relationship's had lots of ups and downs. (HA HA) She's ridden her steel lover over 3000 times in the past 10 years, and she carries spare parts around with her in order to feel closer to “her husband.” Amy claims they have a fulfilling intimate relationship, and she says that she doesn't even get jealous when other people ride her husband. Chillest wife ever.


Seriously considering marrying my couch right now.

Here's a photo of a delighted 9-year-old Katie Ledecky with Michael Phelps.

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Katie Ledecky has won gold medals at this year's Olympics in the 200m and 400m freestyle. She also won gold in 2012, and holds three world records in swimming. But 10 years ago, when she was nine years old, she got an autograph and photo with another gold medalist swimmer: Michael Phelps. Back then Ledecky was an aspiring Olympian. And now she has won a gold medal on the same day as Phelps. That's quite a journey.

Here's the fantastic throwback:

They say you should never meet your heroes. That is of course unless you're Ledecky, a kickass athlete that kept her eyes on the prize(s).

NSYNC quit playing games with your heart and reunited for JC Chasez's 40th birthday.

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As anyone over the age of 27 knows, the only reliable way to get the whole gang back together is to celebrate a life milestone like a wedding, a funeral, or a 40th birthday. Well, *NSYNC's JC Chasez celebrated his 40th over the weekend, and the event literally got the band back together:

JC's 40th... And, if you don't know now you know...

A photo posted by Justin Timberlake (@justintimberlake) on

Also, does anybody else find them more attractive now? The members of old *NYSNC look like they finally have the maturity to have an honest conversation about the status of your relationship. What's sexier than that?


Planning ahead.

Blake Lively thinks new moms' bodies should be 'celebrated' no matter what they look like.

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Blake Lively, one of the three main stars of the movie The Shallows (the other two being a CGI shark and a seagull named Steven Seagull), was interviewed by Australia's Sunrise show, where she talked about how physically challenging filming the movie was. She also mentioned that she started shooting the film just eight months after having a baby (her first child with husband Ryan Reynolds, a daughter named James), which required her to get super physically fit quickly after giving birth. But she explains that she's not a fan of how "celebrated" it is for moms to get back their pre-baby bodies in a rush.

Feathered active wear 😝😝😂 totally an average Tuesday.

A photo posted by Blake Lively (@blakelively) on

She said:

It's so unfair, though, because it's so celebrated, 'this is what someone can look like after a baby,' and I think woman's body after having a baby is pretty amazing. You don't need to be Victoria's Secret ready right away because you just did the most incredible miracle that life has to offer.

This is true, and just because Lively had to get back into top form for work doesn't mean that all new moms should be expected to get their bodies to look any different from how they naturally do. Sharks, especially, do not care. They're happy to eat you either way.

NBC accidentally aired an underwater boob slip during a women's water polo match.

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It might be time for NBC to retire the underwater camera it uses for women's water polo. During yesterday's live coverage of an Olympic match between the U.S. and Spain, the underwater camera accidentally captured a player's bare breast and aired it on television for the world to see. (Warning: blurry boob ahead!)

Yup. That's a boob. In plain sight.

The network had a similar mishap with the underwater camera during a broadcast of a women's water polo game back in 2012 during the London games. That's two nip slips in two Olympics! (To be fair, water polo is vicious underwater where the refs can't see.)

Have we learned our lesson yet, NBC? Underwater cameras are all well and good for swimming and diving, but maybe let's leave them out of women's water polo.

Martin Shkreli diagnoses Hillary Clinton with Parkinson's disease. No, the 'pharma bro' is not a doctor.

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Pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli took to Twitter and Periscope recently to accuse Hillary Clinton of having Parkinson's disease.

You may know Shkreli by several monikers: the "Pharma bro," the "most hated man in America," and the "[guy] who raised the price of HIV-medicine by 5,500 percent."

But media outlets immediately pointed after Shkreli's diagnosis that missing from that unenviable list of nicknames is the one that would qualify him to make it: "Doctor."

Shkreli's unimpressed.

Plus:

It's a statement that seems in line with the style of his preferred candidate, Donald Trump. Although the conspiracy website InfoWars explained that Shkreli is non-partisan and thereby as trustworthy to make an impartial diagnosis as any non-doctor, a quick look at Shkreli's Twitter outs him as an unconcealed Trump supporter.

As conspiracies on #HillarysHealth abound, you might arm yourself with knowledge from The Washington Post, which debunks several Shkreli-endorsed theories.

And if you go for a checkup at the offices of Dr. Martin "Pharma Bro" Shkreli, make sure he's got his "beautiful Doctor babe" with him. Because, as he reminds you, he never had time to actually learn about medicine—but he's happy to pretend.

Woman stages beautiful, romantic photo shoot with her job offer.

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Our Facebook news feeds are constantly inundated with romantic photo shoots (because couples love to be disgustingly affectionate on social media). It seems like everyone is getting engaged, or married, or pregnant, or going on their honeymoons. But one woman is celebrating a different kind of relationship.

Benita Abraham of Long Beach, California recently staged a romantic photo shoot with her new job offer.

So excited to share my happy news with my FB family! I finally found my soulmate, my perfect match, my boo. After 7...

Posted by Benita Abraham on Sunday, August 7, 2016

It was complete with chalkboard signs straight out of a Pinterest wedding board.

So excited to share my happy news with my FB family! I finally found my soulmate, my perfect match, my boo. After 7...

Posted by Benita Abraham on Sunday, August 7, 2016

She even made a coffee mug to announce that she was off the job market.

And shared a more intimate look at what it's like to be "employed with benefits."

#employedwithbenefits

Posted by Benita Abraham on Sunday, August 7, 2016

Not only is this the best way to announce your new-found employment, but it puts all other romantic photo shoots to shame. Congratulations on your new job, Benita. You are a true hero, and we wish you two a lifetime of happiness (and employer matched 401K contributions.)

Snapchat's racist 'anime' filter disappeared faster than a Snapchat.

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Having not previously learned their lesson after issuing a blackface-y Bob Marley filter on 4/20, Snapchat released an effect seemingly inspired by WWII propaganda.

The inexcusable filter is at best ignorant about yellowface, and at worse, encouraging a war with Japan and the Axis Powers.

A real propaganda poster issued by the government/the possible inspiration for Snapchat's design department.

The filter was taken down, but the company has yet to release a statement or apologize.

The social media platform should not be encouraging people to pretend to be a race that they aren't, even if it's something Emma Stone and Rachel Dolezal have made a career out of.

Article 5


Mila Kunis explains why she wants her children to grow up poor.

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It might be tricky for Mila Kunis to explain to her kids why they have to work at Dairy Queen when their parents are Hollywood mega-stars. But, she and husband Ashton Kutcher grew up poor, and they decided they don't want their children, 22-month-old Wyatt and a second baby on the way, to grow up spoiled brats. Good luck!

“The one topic of conversation we had even prior to ever having kids was always, ‘How do you raise a child to not be an asshole?’” said the Bad Moms actress on The Kyle and Jackie O Show, an Australian podcast.“It’s so important because we both came from pretty solid poverty backgrounds and grew up very poor and are very much self-made and are very aware of what a dollar is worth. Nothing’s been handed to us.”

Rocking the phones for #rednoseday 9/8 central on NBC @rednosedayusa

A photo posted by Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) on

Kunis said she won't be forcing her kids to have "ketchup soup" for dinner, but maybe they won't have diamond-encrusted iPhone cases either. The poor things! “It’s a matter of teaching them from a very early age that, you know, ‘Mommy and Daddy may have a dollar, but you’re poor,’” she said. "‘You are very poor, you have nothing. Mommy and Daddy have a bank account.'”

Ashton and Mila's kids: they're just like us! Except we were actually poor.

Thoughtful guy finds the perfect way to hand in his two weeks notice.

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We all fantasize about spectacular ways to quit our jobs, but it's rare that someone comes up with a way to quit that manages to be memorable while also not completely burning the bridge of a future recommendation. Redditor springmint5, however, recently found a way to do both:

Hopefully, Alex's going away party will be funeral themed, complete with elaborate flower arrangements, casseroles, and a hearse driving Alex away from the office. RIP, Alex's position at this company. We know almost nothing about you or your job, so we have no idea if you'll actually be missed.

Article 2

This makeup has penises and vaginas on it, but it's still meant for your face.

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Have you ever thought, I wish my makeup were more phallic? Well, your wish just came true thanks to Bitch Slap! Cosmetics.

These highlighters are here for you to apply freely to your face in a carefree and don't-show-mom kind of way.

You can choose between their Deep Throat assortment of colors...

Or if vaginas are more your thing...

They have other themed shades, but, like, who cares when penises and vaginas are involved?

Oh, and Bitch Slap! Cosmetics doesn't care if you're offended by their anatomy themed products. They even have a shade to express how much they don't care.

Happy highlighting!

PS - Don't forget your lipstick.

Lovelorn Kourtney Kardashian explains why she covers herself in honey as a form of 'witchcraft.'

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You would think that the rich, famous and beautiful Kourtney Kardashian would have no trouble finding a mate, but she is so desperate for a man, apparently, she resorted to using witchcraft to find one.

She'll put a spell on you.

According to Glamour, Kourtney has been getting into the habit of smearing honey all over her body as a way to find a boyfriend. If you think that sounds crazy, just wait!

Kourtney told The Daily Mailthat she likes to, "Put honey all over your body and clean yourself with it—it’s like an old witchcraft thing that attracts a man." Uh, yea, the only thing that is going to attract is ants.

And lint. Lot's of lint.

She also disclosed on Snapchat that she drinks a homemade love potion daily. She said that her "doctor" told her she subconsciously thinks she is undeserving of love, and prescribed her a mysterious vile of liquid to help to "open her heart." (AKA the placebo effect.) She is to put exactly 32-drops of the liquid in water and drink it throughout the day. No word on is that doctor numbers their potions, and if so, whether it was #9.

Unconscious thinking that don't deserve love 💔

A video posted by Kourtney's Snapchat (@kourtneysnapchat) on

It's okay, Kourtney. Love comes when you are not looking for it, or casting spells for it, or whatever. Plus, this isn't some weird Charlotte Brontë-esq world​ where a woman must "find a man at once" before she is resigned to a life of spinsterhood. Maybe put down the honey and do your own thing and a man will fall for you without all the witchcraft.

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