Rebecca Black was just fourteen when she had both the privilege and the misfortune to become a viral meme star. The "Friday" "singer" is now a singer (without the quotation marks), grown up enough to celebrate every day of the week.

Black is celebrating Friday, August 26th even more than she celebrates every other Friday, by dropping a new single, "The Great Divide."

Because time has passed, she has gotten older. She even looks different at the age of 19 than she did at 14.

Many people have had her voice stuck in their heads for every 24-hour period between Thursday and Saturday for the past five years.

And because it's Friday, here's her classic debut single, the one that put this day of the week on the map.

Fun fun fun fun.

Give it up for young feminist Faith Sobotker ​from Australia. Watching this video of the 15-year-old student slam her school's sexist lecture about the dress code is the most empowered I've felt since watching Lemonade.

According to the Daily Mail, staff members at Faith's school told female students at an assembly last week that if they rolled up their skirts to make them shorter, they would distract male students and be seen as having no self-respect. In a video posted on YouTube, the teen proclaims: “I have self respect, I look after myself. You can’t tell me what self-respect is, you can’t tell me what ladylike is.”

She continues:

We don’t live in the ’50s anymore; I’m looking for equality, I’m looking forward to being able to show off my body without being sexualized. You do not get to sexualize me like that, you do not get to tell me that my body is sacred, because it isn’t. Half the population is female. We’re not a new discovery, people know that I have legs, that I have knees, I have thighs, and I have a vagina.

Here's the full video. Warning: may cause standing, clapping and loudly yelling "PREEEEAAAACH!!!!"

BRB—gotta go listen to Beyoncé and burn my bra.

The University of Chicago has a message to students concerned about trigger warnings and safe spaces: Grow up! At least that's basically what they're telling incoming freshman in their acceptance letter to the class of 2020.

Here's a key excerpt:

Welcome and congratulations on your acceptance to the college at the University of Chicago. Earning a place in our community of scholars is no small achievement and we are delighted that you selected Chicago to continue your intellectual journey.

Once here you will discover that one of the University of Chicago’s defining characteristics is our commitment to freedom of inquiry and expression. … Members of our community are encouraged to speak, write, listen, challenge, and learn, without fear of censorship. Civility and mutual respect are vital to all of us, and freedom of expression does not mean the freedom to harass or threaten others. You will find that we expect members of our community to be engaged in rigorous debate, discussion, and even disagreement. At times this may challenge you and even cause discomfort.

The University then broke it down so as to leave no doubt about their zero f*cks:

Our commitment to academic freedom means that we do not support so called ‘trigger warnings,’ we do not cancel invited speakers because their topics might prove controversial, and we do not condone the creation of intellectual ‘safe spaces’ where individuals can retreat from ideas and perspectives at odds with their own.

Universities taking steps to warn students of topics that might be disturbing and creating safe spaces has become a controversial trend. It's in response to many students' belief that certain topics, speakers, or activities could lead to unnecessary emotional stress. Clearly these students have never sat through an episode of The Real Housewives of New York.

Even President Obama, a former law professor at the University of Chicago, has spoken out against trigger warnings and safe spaces.

Because they're college students, many University of Chicago students have a ton of opinions on the university's new policy.

Justin Shelby...

The glory of the free market. There are plenty excellent schools that have embraced the hugbox model of education. If you want a hugbox friendly school, go to a hugbox friendly school.

Emily Orenstein:

Admin taking another big, condescending shit on safe spaces in the guise of "commitment to academic freedom."

Osita Nwanevu:

I'm honestly just intrigued by the University's branding strategy. They reach out to incoming students and parents jittery about activism and/or minorities by scribbling out an anti-safe space letter that checks all the right anti-activist boxes even as they reach out to minority students and activists with diversity and inclusion initiatives and by literally running something called the "Safe Space Program."

John Calabrese:

The real world doesn't always agree with you. Learn to take a position you believe in and defend it.

So if you're walking around the University of Chicago and hear something you don't like, remember…

Oh, honey.

For six years, a guy named Spencer thought that he was dating mega pop star Katy Perry for six years (SIX YEARS!) despite having never met her in person. The Catfish guys on MTV finally revealed to him what the relationship had really been all along: a Catfish.

The guy must have felt like a total plastic bag.

Perry heard about poor Spencer after the episode aired, sweetly sending her thoughts and prayers on Sirius XM morning show, "The Morning Mash Up," to assure him that he is indeed a firework.

"I just think it’s really unfortunate and very sad," she told The Morning Mashup, "My heart goes out to him."

"People have dreams and people live in different parts of the world where not everything is so accessible. We live on the coasts and we get stuff in a way that some other people don’t get, and I feel bad for him," she said.

In the meantime, the real Katy Perry is indeed dating an actual human (and owner of the peen seen around the world): Orlando Bloom.

She's reeled in her own catfish.

Being an Olympic athlete comes with many perks, one of which is all the free swag you get to represent your country. Unfortunately, the British Olympic Team didn't exactly think it through when they decided to gift all of their athletes matching Great Britain luggage.

This was the scene at the airport as British athletes were arriving home from Rio.

This makes trying to find your black suitcase among all the other black suitcases at baggage claim after a cross-country redeye seem like a walk in the park.

Luckily, British athletes were good sports about it, taking to social media to document the search for their bags.

Yikes. That's a lot of red bags. We're sure Team GB had good intentions, but hopefully they'll rethink the whole matching luggage thing for the Tokyo 2020 team.

Admit it, Jeffrey Dahmer is kind of hot... for a serial killer. Which is why the casting of former Disney star slash heartthrob, Ross Lynch, in the upcoming Dahmer movie, My Friend Dahmer, is perfect. Not that Lynch is hot for a serial killer, he's just like hot hot. Like normal hot. But we bet he has an edge. A sharp edge... OK, sorry, we'll stop.

The film, set to be released in 2017, is based on the graphic novel of the same name, written by a former classmate of Dahmer's. The director of the movie, Marc Meyers — no relation to Mike Myers — describes the film on his website:

"Set in a truly weird and sinister 1970s adolescent world, Jeff tries to make new friends as his divorcing parents, teachers, and friends ignore his descent into alcoholism and madness. Jeff will later become the most depraved serial killer since Jack The Ripper. And this is the story before that story.”

STOP TURNING US ON, MARC!

Dahmer of course killed 17 men and boys in the Milwaukee area between 1978 and 1991. He was into necrophilia and cannibalism, and enjoyed long walks on the beach. Sentenced to life in prison in 1992, two years later he was bludgeoned to death by another inmate, which we're pretty sure is the 90s prison version of being swiped left.

Lynch has only had this to say about his casting...

At least we know he's been emotionally preparing for this part for years now.

Recently, Reddit user mar480 took a trip to the Tate Modern art gallery in London, and found the following comment card.

And here I thought going to museums was just for people on dates trying to get laid. Gotta give him props for being married and still making an effort.

To give some idea of what this husband might be referring to, here is some art currently on exhibit at the Tate:

Sarah Lucas
Pauline Bunny

Colin Self
Leopardskin Nuclear Bomber No. 2

Considering the collection, are we sure that husband's comment card isn't also a piece of art?

You don't need to be a rich celebrity to look damn good. There are plenty of beauty treatments that will make you look like a million bucks for next to nothing. I plan on using every one of these 8 budget-friendly beauty cheats until I get wealthy enough to sleep inside a giant vat of coconut oil and caviar for 10-12 hours a night. Until then, bring on the cheap stuff. Here are 8 awesome beauty tips for anyone on a budget.

1. Drink water.

Drinking water has so many beauty benefits. It can make your skin clear and glowing, and proper hydration can even fight aging. Best of all, it's free, right out of the tap. I realize it's hard as hell to choke down eight glasses of H2O a day, but you can spice it up with a lemon wedge or something. My favorite way to drink more water is to freeze it into squares and cover it with vodka.

2. Make a homemade body scrub.

One definition of a scrub is a guy that think he's fine and is also known as a buster. However, a scrub is also a beauty product you can use to exfoliate your skin. You don't have to shell out big bucks on an expensive scrub, though: you can make your own with stuff you have sitting around the house. All you need is something oily and something scratchy. Try any combo like brown sugar and coconut oil, or coffee grounds and olive oil, or margarita salt and baby oil (you get the idea). Scrub away any rough patches on your skin, or dump some on your boyfriend's head to deal with any rough patches in your relationship.

3. Put cold spoons on your eyes to reduce puffiness.

If your under-eye area is dark and puffy because you've been up all night crying about how poor you are, don't worry. You can de-puff your peepers with this absolutely free beauty trick. All you have to do cool two metal spoons and gently apply them to your puffy eye area. You don't need anything except spoons and a freezer. If you don't have spoons or a freezer, you've got bigger problems then the bags under your eyes, girl.

4. Steam your face.

Gwyneth Paltrow pays $50 on the regular for a 30-minute vagina steam at her favorite spa (seriously), but you can steam your face at home for free! It's super easy: just fill a big bowl with steaming hot water and lean over it for 10 minutes. Don't get so close that you scald your face off and look like Freddy Kruger, though! The steam will open up your pores and make your skin feel fresh and soft. I do this a couple times a week over a steaming hot bowl of ramen noodles. Pretty much the same thing.

5. Make facials at home with food.

Follow up your facial steam with a soothing facial mask. If there's food in your fridge, then you have a beauty treatment! You can coat your face with mashed up avocados, bananas, cucumbers, Greek yogurt, you name it. A super easy mask to try is to mash up one banana and add honey until you make a paste. Apply the mixture to your clean face and leave on for 10 minutes before rinsing off. It's supposed to be good for wrinkles and it's 100% more delicious than Botox, guaranteed.

7. Make a hair mask with Mayo.

Don't let your turkey sandwich have all the fun. Slap a bunch of mayo on your head as a deep conditioner. Starting at the scalp, coat your hair with 1/2 cup mayonnaise, leave on for 15 minutes, and rinse thoroughly. THOROUGHLY! Or leave it in and add some potatoes and celery for a bomb ass hair-tato salad.

7. Soak your feet in vinegar and mouthwash.

Being poor is no excuse for funky feet. Try this wacky soak that's been burning up Pinterest lately. Simply mix 1/4 cup vinegar, 1/4 cup Listerine, and a 1/2 cup warm water. Soak your tootsies in that for 15 minutes. The dead skin should wipe right off! Follow it up with some creamy lotion, and your feet will be soft AF by morning. Plus, they will smell like a pickle made sweet love to a stick of gum. Very sexy, indeed.

8. Ice Cubes on your skin.

This hot beauty tip is ice cold. Even if there's no food in the fridge, you can still give yourself an ice cube facial. You don't need any cold hard cash, you just need cold hard water! Simply rub an ice cube on your face, or dunk your face into a bowl of ice water. I'm not kidding. This beauty trick is supposed to help with everything: acne, wrinkles, excess oil, puffiness, redness, and enlarged pores. It's also a great tip for if you're too poor to afford air conditioning.

In the Canadian town of Lethbridge, not far from the Montana border, there's a store called Whitbie's Fish 'n Chips that had "absolutely terrible" sales until a few days ago, when a hungover customer named Colin Ross turned their fate around. By making a post on Facebook.

Colin Ross told the Calgary Eyeopener that he had "had a few drinks the night before and I was feeling like some grease," when he drove past Whitbie's and decided some fried cod and French fries was exactly what he needed. Realizing he was alone in the restaurant, he asked the the 70-year-old owner, John McMillan, how business was, and discovered McMillan couldn't afford to pay himself anymore after his staff.

After ordering a big meal for himself, he wasn't just depressed but surprised the business was struggling, because it was delicious. "I just seen a really good establishment with really good food that deserved a lineup through the door," said Ross. So, he told McMillan he would help.

"He says, 'I've got 2,000 friends on Facebook,'" McMillan recounted. At first, McMillan didn't think much of it, because he's "not into a lot of computer stuff." Three days later, McMillan has had to hire family and friends to fry cod around the clock to keep up with the non-stop demand. "Our business has just gone right through the roof to the point where, you know, we've got people waiting an hour and a half to an hour and three quarters for their dinner," said the overjoyed owner.

McMillan attributed the turnaround not just to Facebook and Ross, but to the helping nature of the community. "Calgary had their flood. Fort McMurray had their fire and a little fish and chip shop in Lethbridge had its problem. The people of Alberta just come together. This is the greatest province and the greatest country. It's just so good to live here."

So the next time someone tells you nothing ever gets done on Facebook, point them to Whitbie's Fish 'n Chips.

There aren't many bright, joyful narratives in the world of celebrity gossip, but the few we have are beautiful and should be treasured and held onto as a reason to live. We should list them to ourselves like Woody Allen at the end of Manhattan (ignoring the fact that it's Woody Allen).

Those stories are, of course, anything that makes Taylor Swift look bad; stories involving The One Good Man Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson; the ongoing secret genius of Blac Chyna; the Twitter presence of Cher, Carrie Fisher, and Bette Midler; and, above all, the slight-but-convincing possibility that Drake and Rihanna are f*cking. If Drake and Rihanna are f*cking, then there is at least one beautiful thing in the world. And, well, Drake just bought Rihanna a billboard, so stay alive, stay alive another day:

The billboard is in honor of Rihanna's selection for the Video Vanguard Award at the VMAs on Sunday—but, one has to imagine, it is also in honor of Drake's enduring love and lust for this inspiring, hard-working woman. (By the way, it's Saturday. I was not scheduled to work today, but I did anyway. Just for this. I am alive.)

NBC News interviewed Donald Trump's doctor on Aug 26, and the internet went nuts. In December, Dr. Harold Bornstein famously wrote about his 70-year-old patient, "If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency." That four-paragraph statement is all the health info Trump has provided. Bornstein revealed he wrote it in five minutes in a car waiting outside Trump's office. He also looks like a mad scientist who likes to party. Here are 25 of the top reactions:

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An 18-year-old Australian woman named Amy Sharp escaped a correctional facility in Sydney on August 24, and spent almost three days on the run from police—during which time, she made sure to let 7 News Sydney that they should be using a more flattering image when reporting on her:

Amy has a point; that's a much better picture of her. However, whether her improved picture helped someone ID her or police were able to obtain location data from her post, it doesn't seem to have helped her evade authorities.

Naturally, people reacted the way they always do: some said everyone should be ashamed of themselves for paying attention to worthless criminal scum, some people said they wanted her to get help, and others just thought it was funny. Sometimes all in one comment thread:

For the record, Sharp was in jail for "property offenses" (theft), and deemed a low risk to the public. No word on whether they will take better pictures of her when they bring her back to jail.

As Timeline's explainer video "Are Dick Jokes The Last Bastion Of Body Shaming" points out, mocking penises seems to run directly contrary to the body positivity movement of recent years.

The rule against mocking bodies goes double for things people can't change—and aside from some silicone-injection enthusiasts and shady internet pills, that perfectly describes penis size. Yet for now, dick jokes are still totally fine. Sometimes they even seem positive because they take powerful political figures down a peg. But as society matures, are dick jokes becoming impotent?

According to his ex-wife's statements in divorce proceedings, Trump campaign CEO Steve Bannon—former chairman of the alt-right publisher Breitbart.com—doesn't like Jewish people. Specifically, he doesn't want his kids going to school with their "whiny brats." No word yet on whether Trump plans to address this by tweeting out "I love the Jews!" with a picture of himself eating a bagel.

Bannon's divorce proceedings from 2007 were released after he joined the Trump campaign and his past became of public interest. Bannon's ex-wife, Mary Louise Piccard, said that Bannon didn't want their daughter's to attend the Archer School For Girls in Los Angeles because too many Jewish girls attended the school.

"The biggest problem he had with Archer is the number of Jews that attend... He said that he doesn't like the way they raise their kids to be 'whiny brats' and that he didn't want the girls going to school with Jews."

In a response to Piccard's claims, Bannon's spokesperson told the Daily News...

“At the time, Mr. Bannon never said anything like that and proudly sent the girls to Archer for their middle school and high school education."

At the time the claims were made, Bannon and Piccard were in the midst of a bitter custody battle. She also claimed that Bannon physically assaulted her, describing one altercation that led to police verifying signs of an assault upon arrival...

"[After (Bannon) became physical with me and grabbed me by the throat and arm] I took the phone to call the police and he grabbed the phone away from me throwing it across the room, and breaking it as he screamed that I was a "crazy f-----g c--t!"

This guy sounds great!

No charges were filed against Bannon because Piccard didn't show up to trial, which she claims was out of fear following threats from Bannon and his legal team.

"The criminal attorney threatened me, indicating that if Respondent [Bannon] went to jail, I would have no money and no way to support the children... I was told that I could go anywhere in the world. His attorney, along with respondent, arranged for me to leave town until the trial was over and it was okay for me to return home. I left town for two weeks with the children and was an hour and a half away by car until the attorney phoned me and told me I could come back."

The documents also allege that Bannon wouldn't marry Piccard after she got pregnant—not a problem in and of itself—unless she provided proof the twins she was carrying were "normal." Yeesh.

People often wonder when the "again" in "Make America Great Again" refers to—maybe a time when men ruled the household and respectable private schools excluded Jews? America...