Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

15 of the weirdest coworkers people have ever shared a workplace with, Volume 1.

0
0

We asked our readers to tell us about the weirdest coworkers they've ever had (as opposed to creepy bosses or workplace legends) and the response was overwhelming. In this first volume, we see the wonderful diversity in America's employment ecosystem, ranging from someone who literally asked for a book on common sense to dog-hair sweater knitters. If you have a story, click here for how to submit. Here are 15 of the best stories people sent us about their odd officemates:

1. If you're going to make up stories about your social life, you may as well go for the gold like this woman who worked with our reader Cecelia.

Fresh out of high school, I worked as a receptionist for a government agency. There was an older lady there who used to tell the tallest tales!

Once she said "I was going to be a princess once...I was going to be married to prince Charles, but I didn't want to be married yet so I left England and came back to USA" I looked at her and thought "is she waiting for me to laugh?" But she was dead serious!

Then she said she went to Canada and stopped at a bar; the bartender refused to serve her a drink and so she asked to use the phone: she called Queen Elizabeth and said "Queenie?! This is Muriel. This guy won't serve me a drink!..." then she handed the phone to the bartender and "Queenie" cussed him out and made him serve her for free the rest of her stay. She never laughed, or said "gotcha" in her stories....so I remained polite and refrained from rolling my eyes or ask if there were hidden cameras lol!

She's gone now (deceased) but I will always remember her stories 😂😂😂

2. Jules wrote us an email about her coworker Autumn. You have known an Autumn. We have all known an Autumn.

I'm a mental health therapist who was supervising a master's-level intern at the agency I was working at. The intern, let's call her Autumn, was obviously book smart. But that's about it. I have lots of stories about Autumn, but the two that stick out I will include here:

One day, another therapist who is more blunt than I am told Autumn that she had no common sense. Autumn turned to me and asked if there was a book about common sense she could read. I had to explain that one to her for awhile.

Then, one day, I had saved a turtle from being run over in the street in front of our office building. Autumn says to me that she is shocked turtles live in [the rural southern state we were in at the time]. I asked her where she thought turtles lived, and she told me since she'd only seen them in zoos, she assumed that's where turtles in this country live.

3. Mirah on Facebook wrote us about a coworker with a pet and a hobby, and why those two things should never, ever go together.

A lady I used to work with spun wool, etc.

She shaved her dog and made him a sweater of his own fur.... she also wore a hat to work every day made of her dear dog's fur.

Responding to another comment, she provided more details.

Then there was the time she spilled patchouli on the wood counter. In an unintelligent attempt at cleaning it, she used alcohol. Which spread it and preserved it for about 3-4 months! P.S- it was an import shop! So, yup, we smelled of stereotypes for months!😁

4. Jessie wrote us an email about two weird coworkers she's had... although frankly after reading the second one, bicycle man doesn't seem so bad.

One guy frequently rode his bike to work and on his lunch break... he would rest afterwards by laying on the front steps of the office with his tiny Speedo jumpsuit/shorts thing all unzipped with his chest hair blowing in the breeze... a few times he just laid in the fountain across the street. Same guy would attend potlucks with a SPOON. Yes, just one spoon, and he would proceed to take bites out of each dish with the same spoon... over and over.

Then there is the bat-shit crazy lady as I came to refer to her. So many things... but the best one is probably the time I cut my hair and donated to an organization that makes wigs for cancer patients. She approached me, genuinely upset I had cut my hair, but WORSE that I have given it away! She stated that hair was a part of your body and you shouldn't part with it, especially to cancer patients who ought to know they will go bald and just deal with it instead of taking handouts.

In my shock of disbelief at her inhumanity I asked her what she does with her hair (it's not Crystal Gail long, so I assume she cuts it). She stated she keeps it... in a bag, in the freezer. I joking asked "Are you gonna knit a sweater?" and she dead-faced looked at me and said she wanted to be buried with it. So glad that lady doesn't work here anymore.

5. Let's vary it up with a short one. Deanna wrote us a two line story, one of which isn't that weird, and the other should be grounds for termination.

Old guy in our office who refuses to learn how to use any type of modern technology, at all. And pees in empty coffee cups in his office so he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. Puke.

6. Although Carroll on Facebook is writing about a real individual, it kind of seems like this is just a metaphor for management in general.

My very first job was at a relatively questionable debt collector's call centre. We were about 50 people crammed into a medium sized office and they literally took anyone they could find that could operate a telephone. Our team leader was a lady with an eye twitch who was going bald. She would nervously sit at her desk and count hairs that were falling out while zoning out completely to a point where she would pay no attention to her team for hours. She often sang to herself and giggled. To this day, I still wonder how she managed to get a leader position at all.

7. This story from an anonymous reader is the bro version of claiming you're best buds with the Queen back home.

I work in IT, software development. I used to work with a guy, he was fine, not that competent but okay. He was maybe late 20s, about 5'9", from South Africa.

He said he used to play basketball for the national team but then gave it all up to join the special forces. He was apparently really good at it, but then chose to give it up for some reason to retrain in IT. He asked us not to eat oranges in the office because the sound of peeling the skin sounded like dead bodies burning on a bonfire and he didn't like the flashbacks.

8. The rest of the commenters on Facebook were unsure whether Sheri's coworker is weird or whether he's really the only person here who has life figured out.

My 73-year-old co-worker is hard of hearing and farts every single morning while he's making coffee in the break room. I think he thinks just because he can't hear it, nobody else can.. Lol!

9. We had more than a few entries about gross employees, but this email from Tania manages to hit all the notes.

I worked in a large open plan office and had a colleague who used to take her shoes off, get the scissors from her drawer, put her foot up on the desk and cut her toe nails while sitting at her desk! She would then crawl around picking up the clippings...but never managed to get them all so we would find random bits of toenails across the office floor.

She also used to tell anyone who would listen that the best way to stop having diarrhea is to eat KFC because it makes her constipated.

10. Elizabeth has worked with several chronic liars and exaggerators (or has she?! Yes, probably).

I worked with a guy I called "adventure vest." Every day, he wore a fishing vest with like 50 pockets which were bursting with notepads and bits of paper. As he sat with my coworkers for training, he would tell each person a different story about his life. Married, one daughter. Married, twin boys. Not married. Spent ten years as a high school teacher. Spent 15 years working in a salt mine. Eventually, my coworkers realized what he was doing, but no one could figure out why. He would pull his notebooks out and scribble secrets when he thought no one was looking. And he would freak out about our security swipe cards. He always tried to walk in with someone so he didn't have to swipe. Weird guy...

One guy told tall tales. He used to be an EMT, and said he restarted a guy's heart with a car battery and jumper cables. Then he told how he could stop his own heart. He would grunt loudly and cock his head to one side, then hold out his arm and try to get you to feel how he had no pulse.

11. An anonymous Someecards reader wrote us this extremely amusing tale of the chocolate thief who hid out of shame for 3 days.

I have worked with this one weird coworker for almost 20 years. This is one of many incidents involving her.

We were in a small staffed school (she is an Educational Assistant), and some parent had brought us a box of turtles candies. A few of us had taken one, but the box was 75% full, and after this coworker's 15 minute break, the box was empty. Turtles are delicious, but come on!!

Our principal was lots of fun, and put out an email stating that he was going to look into the case of the missing turtles. He mentioned that he would be checking the camera in the staff room (which was an old web cam on a shelf that wasn't working and not even plugged in) for information.

Well, this EA went home that day and did not return for 3 days (and the weekend) and she was never confronted about the turtles. But we all knew who ate them and to this day (8 years later) she is still the laughing stock of our school board.

12. Tracy on Facebook must work for Time Warner Cable.

I worked in a call center at one time and there was a gentleman there that every time he was on a long call would rub his nipples. I think he was eventually pulled into HR about it... oddly enough, he still works there.

13. Amanda just barely beat the deadline to get in this awesome story of confirming exactly what you suspected your quietest coworker was up to.

When I worked midnights at our local hospital, we'd often have a slow time at night. Some people would stock rooms, or chat, or read to pass a few hours. One of my coworkers used to read and snack. One day, she happened to leave her desk to use the restroom and left her e-reader on. We glanced over at what our quiet, keeps-her-personal-life-to-herself coworker was reading, and our jaws dropped. It was hardcore porn novels and short stories. Mostly involving vampires and werewolves and wizards. She has no idea that we saw it, and went back to her desk reading silently. Frequently getting up to 'use the restroom'.

14. Let's not jump to conclusions and say that Beka M's coworker is nuts. He could just be really passionate about journalistic ethics.

I used to be a news reporter for a small county newspaper. We had a sports editor who worked there for about a year. He was always mumbling to himself. The other reporter (now my husband) and I joked that it sounded like parseltongue. One day the three of us were working in the newsroom when all of a sudden in an extremely intense, yet low, voice he said to himself, "Don't. Make. Assumptions." He then got up and left. The guy was also known to fart loudly at his desk and pick his nose then wipe the snot on the bottom of his chair.

15. This anonymous reader's coworker isn't that odd, to be honest, and you should just let the guy eat. BUT, the way this is written perfectly captures what it's like to be slowly driven insane by someone you'd probably get along with fine if you didn't have to sit by them all day.

Okay. I don't even know where to start with this guy...

My 60ish-year-old, morbidly obese coworker sits directly behind me in an open-concept office, so is basically 3 feet away from me AT MOST, at all times. Here's the list of sh*t I get to deal with on a daily basis:

9am: arrives at the office, says good morning to literally everyone on his way in, proceeds to chat at top volume for an hour.

10am: actually sits down at his desk, with either a) a full bacon, egg, and hash brown greasy breakfast OR b) a Starbucks frapp and a scone/muffin/pastry (EVERY. DAY.).

10-11am: proceeds to chew WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN and talk to himself while reading his emails. Usually this goes something like,

"eugh. I feel like garbage" *chew chew chew chew smack smack smack*

"oh. Oh my god. 8 pages?! Ha!...(30 seconds later)... no way. No no no no no no. No way I'm doing that!" *chew chew chew smack smack*

"eughhhhh..." etc. Etc.... then he licks his fingers and makes a smacking noise like he's licking off sweet, sweet BBQ sauce.

11am-12pm: continues to chatter to himself and his subordinate over the cubicle wall at top volume.

Lunch hour: purchases a full hot lunch, two bags of Doritos, a chocolate bar and a pack of almonds from the cafeteria and proceeds to repeat the 10-11am routine. Throws his container in the communal garbage because he doesn't want to get up from his desk, therefore filling the garbage can and rendering it useless for everyone else.

12-4pm: alternates between telling me about all the art galleries he's been to and how I should go visit said galleries, telling me how he isn't feeling well (NO SHIT), and telling his subordinate "no no no no no" (always in multiples) and name dropping while talking to himself.

4-5pm: ????? Who the fuck knows?!

This is just the average day... I'm not even counting the times he's jumped in on my private conversations (the perks of being in an open concept office), or when his mess of papers have spilled over onto my desk... that's another story for another day.

God help me.


People are really excited about this motorcycle's thermochromatic paint job.

0
0

This motorcycle's exhaust pipes start glowing with a hellish design when the engine heats them up. This will probably be the most metal thing you see today, even if you think motorcycles are dangerous suicide traps.

As one YouTube commenter said, "This guy f*cks."

Kim Kardashian West held at gunpoint in Paris hotel, prompting Kanye to leave mid-show.

0
0

Kim Kardashian West is in Paris with her family to see sister Kendall Jenner in Paris Fashion Week, but that idyllic trip received a horrible interruption Sunday night from "two armed masked men dressed as police officers." When word of the incident reached husband Kanye West at the Meadows Festival in New York, he abruptly walked offstage, citing a "family emergency."

The Kardashians confirmed the incident to CNN:

Kim Kardashian West was held up at gunpoint inside her Paris hotel room this evening, by two armed masked men dressed as police officers. She is badly shaken but physically unharmed," spokesperson Ina Treciokas tells CNN.

When Kanye left the stage around 10 PM in New York, it would have been 4 AM in Paris, so presumably the masked men entered at night while the star was sleeping. The last Fashion Week even she had attended that night was the the Givenchy women's wear runway event, where Kendall was walking, with her mother Kris Jenner and sister Kourtney:

Fortunately, everyone appears to be unharmed. What was taken, if anything, seems to be unknown as of yet.

Rosh Hashanah

Celebrities defend Kim Kardashian from trolls who blame her for being robbed at gunpoint.

0
0

Kim Kardashian West was held up at gunpoint in her hotel room in Paris early Sunday morning by thieves who were impersonating French police officers. The robbers tied up Kardashian West, locked her in the bathroom, and stole more than ten million dollars' worth of jewelry from her. She was not physically hurt, but understandably very shaken up.

This is a scary and serious situation for anyone, but trolls and Kardashian haters worldwide saw it as an opportunity to bash the mother of two with sexist comments and cruel jokes. Luckily, a whole bevy celebrities came out to show that they have Kim's back.

Kim's close friend Chrissy Teigen essentially became a one woman troll fighting machine.

Kim Kardashian West is a polarizing figure to say the least, and while it is sometimes fun to joke about her millions of selfies or voluptuous butt, being held at gunpoint is traumatic at best and no joking matter. You don't need to relate to someone or even like them to show them empathy.

Article 39

Brangelina apparently behaved like middle schoolers in love on the set of 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith.'

0
0

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are currently in the middle of an incredibly acrimonious and sad divorce, but… remember the good times? You know, the good times, when Pitt was cheating on his then-wife Jennifer Aniston to hook up with Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith back in 2004.

Us Weekly remembers, and got the scoop from the Jolie-Pitt's old bodyguard about what the atmosphere was like on the set of that perfectly fine sexfest. In a word: hormonal.

"[Angelina] and Brad were constantly laughing and flirting with each other and acting like two school kids who had the hots for each other, and it was so cute. I caught them several times in each other’s trailers making out," the bodyguard told the magazine. "I wasn't shocked at all when they got married years later."

Brangelina even reportedly used this bodyguard to slip notes to each other. Notes that were, shockingly, "sexual in content."

Now, of course, they don't have those same feelings anymore. And we'll just have to wait another decade to find out what's really going on between them, when another disgruntled bodyguard inevitably becomes a vague entertainment "source."

Cara Delevingne got an optical illusion neck tattoo and it's pretty creepy.

0
0

Cara Delevingne has got some new ink, and it's both creepy and mesmerizing.

👁👁 @caradelevingne

A video posted by Bang Bang (@bangbangnyc) on

The model and actress got a pair of eyes tattooed onto the back of her neck, courtesy of Bang Bang Studio in New York. Now she can literally say she has eyes on the back of her head neck. Too bad she isn't a school teacher—that would totally freak some kids out.

It is okay to call her 'four eyes.'

The tattoo is positioned directly above one of Delevingne's older pieces, a traditional Thai sak yant tattoo.

The realistic tat is pretty cool, even though it's reminiscent of those creepy old portraits whose eyes seem to follow you around the room. However, it is definitely a missed opportunity that she did not get her signature brows tattooed above her 3rd and 4th eyes.


Ben Affleck finally responds to everyone who hated 'Batman v Superman.'

0
0

Batman v Superman starring Ben Affleck was such a critical catastrophe, his sadness about it became a meme. Now that a few months have passed since the movie's lucrative release, Affleck took time out of an interview with FOX 5 about his new movie, The Accountant, to reflect on Batman v Superman's dismal reception.

If you're short on time, go to the 1:20 mark and watch Ben Affleck's face when the interviewer brings the film up. This is how Ben Affleck feels about the movie:

His responses compliment that facial expression nicely.

"More people went to see that than any movie I've ever made in my career," said the director of Argo with a look of pure devastation in his eye. "And then it had a lot of editorial negativity," he continued, before the interviewer cut in to say, "The fans liked it."

Affleck's response here is incredible, as he took the compliment, shook it off, and responded: "Fans... went."

Affleck then went on the following rant as the director of The Accountant, Gavin O'Connor, sat in silence, looking pained.

It was interesting, that movie, because it was like, it was judged, um, not necessarily on execution so much as like its tone. You know, some people seem to want to have a lighter tone to the movie and so and that's sort of what, um—and I thought that was interesting cause it's subjective. Tone isn't like a qualitative thing it's subjective, some tones resonate with me that might not with you. And the tone of that movie was really paralleled the Frank Miller book which I liked, and thought was great, and I'm glad that so many people went and so many people liked the movie and it worked out.

Extremely poised, the interviewer responded: "Did you like it?"

"Yeah yeah, I loved it," responded Affleck.

So there can be no question, Ben Affleck totally loved Batman v Superman.

Brooklyn Beckham too famous to get away with underage drinking.

0
0

17-year-old Brooklyn Beckham, son of Spice Girl Victoria Beckham and Soccer Boy David Beckham, encountered the dark side of fame this weekend when he was shut down by a bartender at a Chance the Rapper concert in London.

According to The Sun, the young Beckham tried to order an adult beverage from the bar staff at the concert, but was immediately recognized. The bartender told him, "I know you, you’re Brooklyn Beckham." And there was nothing he could say to that.

It's just the kind of thing you have to deal with when you're the closest thing to British royalty that exists besides the actual British royalty. The drinking age in the UK is 18.

No word yet on the reaction to this news from Beckham's ex Chloë Grace Moretz. But we can imagine what it looked like.

Trolls actually dragged Kanye for ditching his concert early when Kim was robbed at gunpoint.

0
0

Early Sunday morning, Kim Kardashian West had the terrifying experience of being robbed at gunpoint in her Paris hotel room by thieves impersonating French police. Her husband, Kanye West, was doing a show in New York at the time and abruptly left the stage mid-song when he got the news, much to the annoyance of some of his least empathetic fans.

It's bad enough that he had to hear about his wife being robbed without being able to get to her immediately. But then, wouldn't you know it, the damn internet trolls began a crusade against him for not finishing his concert.

People seemed pissed that he left due to a family emergency, as though being a celebrity (and one related to the Kardashians, especially) disqualifies him from having a life off the stage.

To be fair, it doesn't seem that the fans realized the severity of the situation at the time. And, in general, a lot more people were understanding of the situation than not.

Fashion blogger Loey Lane shows Disney just how easy it would be to add a plus-size princess.

0
0

Fashion vlogger Loey Lane is making a case for Disney princesses of all different sizes. Imagine! Lane made a video for Cosmopolitan explaining why she thinks Disney should feature a plus-size princess, even suggesting the name "Not So Little Mermaid." The video has clearly resonated with a lot of people, as it's been viewed over two million times since being posted on Saturday.

Why Disney Needs A Plus-Size Princess

Loey Lane is calling on Disney to create a plus-size Disney Princess

Posted by Cosmopolitan on Saturday, October 1, 2016

In her video, Lane explains, "We can't all look exactly the same and that's a huge reason why I think it's so important for there to be more diversity in everything that young boys and girls consume."

After the shoot, Lane talked about loving Disney as a girl, but being heartbroken when mean classmates compared her to villainous octopus queen Ursula.

The fact that the closest thing to my body that I could get was Ursula just hurt me so badly as a kid. And I grew up never saying that I wanted to be a princess or playing princess with the other girls. I know that it would have boosted my self esteem if I had had someone that I could relate to. . . or someone that looked remotely like me.

Barbie has already embraced the idea of women of different body sizes, creating dolls in four body types for their 2016 Fashionista line. Your move, Disney.

Robin Williams' widow writes heartbreaking essay on husband's struggle with LBD.

0
0

Susan Schneider Williams, the widow of comedy icon Robin Williams, wrote a heartbreaking personal essay entitled, "The terrorist inside my husband's brain." In it, she spoke about the debilitating neurological disease that doctors believe led to her husband's suicide in 2014.

After his death, doctors concluded that Williams was suffering from Lewy body disease (LBD), a kind of dementia that affects cognitive abilities due to the degeneration of the brain.

LBD made things like remembering lines, recalling memories, and functioning day to day extremely difficult. Schneider Williams remembers her husband having a severe panic attack while filming Night at the Museum 3.

During the filming of the movie, Robin was having trouble remembering even one line for his scenes, while just 3 years prior he had played in a full 5-month season of the Broadway production of "Bengal Tiger at the Baghdad Zoo," often doing two shows a day with hundreds of lines—and not one mistake. This loss of memory and inability to control his anxiety was devastating to him.

Symptoms were worsening for Williams, and ranged from insomnia to paranoia, as well as physical symptoms like stomach pains, urinary difficulty, and tremors.

He kept saying, “I just want to reboot my brain.” Doctor appointments, testing, and psychiatry kept us in perpetual motion. Countless blood tests, urine tests, plus rechecks of cortisol levels and lymph nodes. A brain scan was done, looking for a possible tumor on his pituitary gland, and his cardiologist rechecked his heart. Everything came back negative, except for high cortisol levels. We wanted to be happy about all the negative test results, but Robin and I both had a deep sense that something was terribly wrong.

On May 28, 2014, Robin Williams was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Despite the prognosis, Williams and Schneider Williams were just happy to have an answer. However, symptoms continued to worsen, and less than three months later, Robin Williams committed suicide.

Three months after Robin's death, the autopsy report was finally ready for review. When the forensic pathologist and coroner's deputy asked if I was surprised by the diffuse LBD pathology, I said, “Absolutely not,” even though I had no idea what it meant at the time. The mere fact that something had invaded nearly every region of my husband's brain made perfect sense to me.

Doctors told Schneider Williams that this was one of the worst cases of LBD that they had ever seen, even telling her that "it was as if he had cancer throughout every organ of his body."

There is currently no cure for LBD, and the disease effects about 1.5 million Americans.

Susan Schneider Williams now serves on the Board of Directors for the American Brain Foundation. You can read her essay in it's entirety here.

Hailey Baldwin wore sweatpants to Paris Fashion Week and I officially don't get fashion.

0
0

Model Hailey Baldwin, daughter of Kennya and Stephen Baldwin and niece of Alec, stepped out at Paris Fashion Week wearing a leather jacket, a sheer turtleneck, and baggy sweatpants that look like they were hacked to shreds with a machete. I officially don't understand fashion anymore.

Obsessed 🔥👏🏼 #haileybaldwin #lovethislook @haileybaldwin

A photo posted by Hailey Baldwin Street Style (@haileystreetstyle) on

Here's another pic of the unusual outfit, this one sans jacket.

vibe pt. 2

A photo posted by Hailey Baldwin (@haileybaldwin) on

From the waist up, Baldwin looks glam as hell. From the waist down, however, she resembles a divorced dad who took a break from binge watching Breaking Bad to mow the lawn drunk.

The hacked pieces of sweatpants are held together with denim buckles. Maybe the oddest thing about the whole ensemble is she looks... comfortable?

I've always had a hostile relationship with fashion because I believe it's all part of a conspiracy to keep women down. Not to mention uncomfortable and expensive. But if ripped sweatpants count as fashion, then I'm on board.

Here's some of the insane bling likely stolen from Kim Kardashian's hotel room.

0
0

Paris police have revealed some of the loot robbers nabbed from Kim Kardashian West's hotel room after holding her up at gunpoint on Sunday. They reportedly stole "a jewelry box containing valuables worth 6 million euros ($6.7 million) as well as a ring worth 4 million euros ($4.5 million.)"

💙

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

Reading into that statement, it sounds like one of the stolen items was her second engagement ring, designed and gifted to her by husband Kanye West, and priced at $4.5 million.

The exact pieces haven't yet been confirmed by Paris police, and they didn't say exactly that the $4.5 million ring was the 20-carat emerald-cut Lorraine Schwartz behemoth Kardashian received last month as a companion piece to her first engagement ring. But it has to be, right? Does this girl really have a second $4.5 million ring that she hasn't shown anyone?

💎💎💎

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

In addition to that megaton rock in the photo above, Kardashian's also flossing diamond covered Dolly Cohen grillz here. This girl literally eats diamonds for breakfast.

And while an ostentatious display of portable wealth may have contributed to Kardashian becoming a target for thieves, you really can't blame her.

I mean damn, if you can't wear your mansion-priced treasures to Paris Fashion Week or in your Snapchat stories, what's the point of even owning them?


Scientists say boozing before bedtime is not helping you sleep.

0
0

Alcohol, the thing that makes you occasionally pass out at parties or on public transport should be a great sleep aid, right? Nope. The Huffington Postreports that hitting the bottle right before bed won't solve your sleep problems and might actually make them way worse. That's why multiple sleep experts, including the National Sleep Foundation, recommend laying off the booze in the evening. (So just get loaded at brunch, right?).

Alcohol does make you drowsy, and too much of it can knock you right out. But once you're passed out, it seriously affects the quality of your sleep. As you move through the first and second sleep cycles that your body needs to get proper rest, alcohol can actually suppress rapid eye movement or "REM" sleep, Timothy Roehrs, director of research at the Sleep Disorders and Research Center of Detroit’s Henry Ford Hospital, told The Huffington Post.

“Initially you might feel sleepy and fall asleep easily, but you end up awakening more often in the middle of the night and the alcohol has a disruptive effect on sleep,” he said. This is why after a night of heavy drinking, you might feel tired and irritable the next day, even if you were passed out for a full eight hours.

Your body also metabolizes the alcohol while you sleep, and after the booze wears off, you are more prone to waking up in the middle of the night. One study found that people who had drank heavily the night before woke up about twice as often during the night than when they went to sleep sober.

If you must hit the sauce, and many people have their reasons, here are some tips that won't leave you exhausted the next day:

1) Drink in moderation.

I know, boring! But research shows that the negative effects of alcohol on your sleep kick in with a BAC of about 0.04. This is about two drinks for an average 150-pound man, and about a drink and a half for a woman of the same weight.

2) Have a snack.

Food delays how quickly you absorb alcohol, which can lower your BAC. Plus, snacks are great.

3) Partake in happy hour.

Your body metabolizes alcohol over time. If you drink earlier enough in the evening, your BAC has time to drop below 0.04 by bedtime.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his son Joseph Baena celebrated Oktoberfest like the Teutonic gods they are.

0
0

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his son Joseph Baena celebrated Baena's 19th birthday in a place where it's legal to drink beer as a teenager—at Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany.

Happy birthday, Joseph. Great student, great athlete. I'm proud of you and I love you!

A photo posted by Arnold Schwarzenegger (@schwarzenegger) on

The father and son donned traditional Bavarian garb over their giant, muscley bodies as they raised a glass in honor of Joseph's birthday. The photo was posted to Ahhhhnold's Instagram, with the caption, "Happy birthday, Joseph. Great student, great athlete. I'm proud of you and I love you!"

Schwarzenegger makes the pilgrimage to Oktoberfest yearly, but this is the first year he brought Baena along with him.

Joseph's mother, Mildred Baena, is the former housekeeper of Arnold Schwarzenegger and MariaShriver. Shriver and Schwarzenegger ended their 25 year long partnership after she learned of his affair. Joseph Baena is Schwarzenegger's youngest child, born only 5 days after his other son, Christopher.

Student takes school's 'Ranch Day' literally, becomes our new national hero.

0
0

Brandon Valley High School in South Dakota recently held its homecoming week, with students coming to school dressed in costumes that pertained to certain themes. One day, students' costumes were supposed to be inspired by salad dressings—freshman and sophomores showed up in beach gear for "Thousand Island Dressing," while juniors and seniors were asked to dress up for "Ranch Day."

Here's what every other junior and senior wore on Ranch Day:

The BVHS Royalty Court and MCs invite you to coronation tonight in the Activities Center at 7:30.

Posted by Brandon Valley High School on Monday, September 19, 2016

And here is what 17-year-old BVHS senior and our new national hero, Carson Haase, wore:

That's right. She literally went to school dressed as a bottle of ranch dressing. HERO.

Haase told Buzzfeed News that she was nervous about wearing the costume to school, but that the suicide of her close friend in March made her see that she needed to have the courage to be her hilarious self.

“She was a great person and made everyone realize that you should take the moment and live in it, because you don’t have very long to do so,” Haase said of her friend, Brittany Corcoran.

Haase posted the photos of her costume on Twitter and, of course, they immediately went viral.

"I'm from a small town in South Dakota, but now I'm famous for dressing like a ranch bottle," she told Buzzfeed. "I think that's hilarious."

Article 26

5 people having a worse Monday than you.

0
0

5. Kim Kardashian, because she was robbed at gunpoint but trolls still won't leave her alone.

Have some heart, people.

Normally when we include Kim Kardashian in this article, people get mad. But considering that armed robbers broke into her hotel room, tied her up, and stole more than $10 million of jewelry from her on Sunday night, she probably is having a way worse Monday than you. For the first time ever.

Kardashian has always been a lightning rod for online hate—trolls can't stand the fact that she isn't ashamed of her hot body. But the hate she's received after this incident is inexcusable. Haters have been coming out of the woodwork to say she deserved to be the victim of a crime, and some are even bemoaning the fact that she wasn't killed.

By the way, if you're one of those people, or if you're feeling the need right now to comment "WHO CARES" on this post, then you truly should go to hell.


4. Lindsay Lohan, because she lost a finger (but got it back).

We'll never stop worrying about her.

Sorry to start with two back-to-back bummers, but the world needs to know about LiLo's finger. The troubled star (who's had more than her share of problems recently) was boating off the scenic coast of Turkey when she tried to pull up the anchor by herself and snagged the tip of her finger. Then that tip came clean off. Lohan shared a video of the aftermath on Snapchat, reacting with surprising good-humor to the grisly accident.

@lindsaylohan Had a terrible accident #prayforlindsaylohan #lindsaylohansnapchat

A video posted by SnapsBrakingSnaps (@snapsbrakingsnaps) on

Luckily, Lohan's fingertip was recovered and later reattached by surgeons. We wish her a speedy recovery. From everything.


3. A woman who tried to use a knife-wielding clown as an excuse for being late.

18-year-old Alexsandra Conley of Reading, Ohio was late for work on Saturday, but she had a unique excuse. She claimed a man dressed as a clown had jumped a fence, attacked her with a knife, and cut her thumb. (Good thing Lindsay Lohan didn't try that explanation.)

Of course, it didn't occur to her that her employer would obviously call the cops about that. Officers found inconsistencies in her story, determined she was lying, and charged her with making a false alarm, a misdemeanor. She's like the boy who cried wolf, except she cried "knife-wielding clown." Shouldn't that be a felony?

It's likely Conley was inspired by the recent spate of scary clown sightings across the country, particularly in South Carolina. Although many of these reports have turned out to be false, that hasn't slowed them down at all. The entire nation has terrifying clowns on the brain, what with their unnaturally colored faces and hair, and their menacing threats. I wonder why?


2. Tori Spelling, because AmEx is making her pay up.

Maybe she should try leaving home without it.

According to legal documents obtained by TMZ, former 90210 star/current psychic hotline spokeswoman Tori Spelling has been ordered to pay an outstanding debt to American Express that she has been ignoring since at least January. The total? $37,981.97, plus $855 in court costs. That comes to a whopping $38,836.97, which is roughly $38,836.97 more than she's made acting in the past five years.

Spelling should have learned by now: AmEx is not like other credit card companies. They don't f**k around. She's lucky her kneecaps are intact.

1. This person who dropped their iPhone while running on a treadmill.

Remember when the iPhone 6 came out and everyone was in a panic over whether it would bend in their pocket? Over time, those complaints dwindled, and the 6s seemed to fix the problem for good. But one unfortunate Redditor discovered what it takes to bend a newer iPhone into a perfect C: you have to drop it inside a treadmill.

Those exploding Samsungs are looking pretty good right now.

Redditor Dianna_2Ns, who uploaded the photo, explained in a comment that the phone "got caught under the belt & went all the way around..."

It's an unfortunate mishap, but eerily beautiful in its own way. A real testament to Apple's design aesthetic and engineering. Just kidding, this sucks.

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images