Keegan Michael Key of Key & Peele made this horrifying future weather forecast to scare you into going to Savetheday.vote and register. No candidates are mentioned by name, and it generally skewers the dysfunction of the entire political class... but some implications are made. In any case, make sure to watch until the end.
WeatherOh the weather outside is frightful. No seriously, it's terrifying out there. www.savetheday.vote
Posted by Save The Day on Monday, October 17, 2016
Despite helping to decrease the unemployment rate himself, President Obama is about to be out of work. Luckily Stephen Colbert, or "Randy the office manager," is there to help him spruce up his résumé in preparation for the job hunt. Looks like that 3rd term really isn't happening. Damn.
With his qualifications, President Obama could pretty much take his pick of any career he would like. Basically anything would be less stressful than his previous job, but doesn't have the perk of getting to ride around in Air Force One.
Hopefully "Randy" doesn't give President Obama fashion tips—with that blue vest the only job he would land is "Walmart greeter."
If Donald Trump drove down I-94 in Dearborn, Michigan, he would pass a sign mocking him. He wouldn't know that, though. All he would understand is the web address in the bottom lefthand corner: trumpisscared.org.
And assuming his fingers were too greasy from KFC to search for this article on his phone, he would have to find a friend who speaks Arabic to translate it to for him.
A spokesperson for the group behind the billboard, Melissa Harris, told local news that that's exactly the point.
"We intentionally did not put the translation on the board," said Harris, representing the super PAC "Nuisance Committee."
"I like the idea of people who do not speak Arabic [having] to ask their friends who do speak Arabic for them to translate the board for them."
Dearborn has a large Arab-American population, according to Harris, and she hopes the sign will "generate some dialogue between Arabic-speaking people and non-Arabic-speaking people in Detroit and across the country."
Donald Trump: bringing people together across the nation—to better understand messages denouncing him.
Blac Chyna's as-of-yet unborn baby is finally doing something more than just sitting there. On Monday night, the reality show star Instagrammed a video of her baby moving around in the womb, along with the caption, "Hey girl 👶🏽💕" (but it was most likely Chyna saying that, not Ryan Gosling).
The baby, her first with fiancé Rob Kardashian, has been shown on Instagram a lot, but this is the first time there's been any action involved. Maybe the baby is ready for her own reality show already? Probably not a bad idea to get a camera up there and see what all's going on.
According to The Daily Beast, in 2011, actor Gary Busey allegedly groped a female staff member during filming of Celebrity Apprentice.Donald Trump's reaction? Reportedly, he just laughed it off and kept Busey as a contestant on the show.
Multiple staff members (including the victim herself) told The Daily Beast that during a shoot in New York City, Busey "grabbed" her "firmly between [the] legs," "grabbed" her breasts, and also "forcibly put the female staffer’s hand on the crotch of his pants." How utterly charming!
The Celebrity Apprentice staffers spoke to The Daily Beast anonymously, due to their non-disclosure agreements. Here's the unidentified woman's account of the alleged incident (corroborated by at least four of her fellow staff members), which supposedly happened outside an art gallery where the contestants were given the task of selling art.
They had booze for the [gallery party], I think Lil John ordered it. And so, a few of the celebrities wanted to do a shot together after we finished [setting up] for the show. We all took a shot together, and then went to stand together for B-roll time.
We were smoking cigarettes outside, and Busey was standing next to me. And then at one point, he grabbed me firmly between my legs, and ran his hand up my stomach, and grabbed my breasts. I didn’t know what to do. So I made this joke that, "Oh, I’ve never been sexually harassed by a celebrity before!" Then he grabbed my hand and put it [over] his penis, and said, like, "I’m just getting started, baby."
Then my friend jumped in between [me and Busey] and put his hand on Busey’s chest.
Staff members were reportedly "furious" enough about the sexual assault that producers were briefed about it, and the story eventually made its way up the chain of command to Trump, who allegedly"gave Busey little more than a chuckle and a soft slap on the wrist."
The woman declined to push the issue or press charges because she was worried she wouldn't get work again, telling The Daily Beast, "I didn’t think I’d get hired again by the company if I said something like that [and pursued further action]."
As for Trump himself, the woman claimed that he said "gross things all the time" during filming, and that Trump Tower was "a disgusting place to work" because of the prevalence of sexual harassment. She also said she wasn't surprised by the recent claims by women that they had been assaulted by Trump, adding"[Trump] is and always has been a joke—I can’t believe anyone now is taking him seriously. He’s a monster."
In completely unsurprising news, Page Sixis reporting that Billy Bush was officially fired from The Today Show on Monday.
In a memo sent out to NBC staff members, executive producer Noah Oppenheim said of Bush: "While he was a new member of the Today team, he was a valued colleague and longtime member of the broader NBC family. We wish him success as he goes forward."
The termination comes after a week-long suspension following the leak of the 2005 Access Hollywood tape depicting Bush and Donald Trump engaging in some truly gross conversation about objectifying and sexually assaulting women. Trump still gets to run for President though, because nothing in this election makes sense and there are no rules.
Although not confirmed, a source told Page Six that negotiations between Bush and NBC resulted in him getting a $10 million buy out, which amounts to the value of his three-year contract.
In the words of Beyoncé— boy, bye.
In one of her first public appearances for the campaign since plagiarizing part of Michelle Obama's 2008 speech at the Republican National Convention, Melania Trump sat down with Anderson Cooper to defend her husband, Donald Trump, against sexual assault allegations. She blamed the media, alleging they were working with the Clinton campaign to destroy him.
"Everything was organized and put together to hurt him, to hurt his candidacy" said Ms. Trump. Referring further to the sexual assault allegations from at least 11 women, Ms. Trump said, "My husband is kind and he's a gentleman and he would never do that."
"Did they ever check the background of these women? They don't have any facts and even the story that came out in People magazine, the writer said that my husband took her to the room and [started] kissing her," explained Ms. Trump.
"She wrote in the same story about me that she saw me on Fifth Avenue and I said to her, 'Natasha, how come we don't see you anymore?' I was never [friends] with her. I would not recognize her. Never happened."
Trump clarified that her lawyer has sent a letter to People demanding a retraction. People has already weighed in, saying "we feature a story that includes at least six named sources who can corroborate Natasha Stoynoff’s account."
Ms. Trump's criticism was not reserved for the entertainment magazine alone.
"And Washington Post: when did we hear or read any great stories from—about my husband or about me? The true stuff? The facts, the real stuff? Or New York Times. We never read—they bashing, bashing, bashing."
When conversation turned to the "Access Hollywood" video—incontrovertible evidence of Trump's lewd remarks—Ms. Trump parried any assertion that talk reflects action, saying he was "egged on" by Billy Bush.
"I heard many different stuff -- boys talk," said Ms. Trump. "The boys, the way they talk when they grow up and they want to sometimes show each other, 'Oh, this and that' and talking about the girls. But yes, I was surprised, of course."
Lin-Manuel Miranda (Hamilton's everything) and Renée Elise Goldsberry (The OG Angelica) performed an updated version of "Ten Duel Commandments" at the star-studded Broadway for Hillary fundraiser on Monday night in New York City.
Only the brilliant @Lin_Manuel could pull off "Tim Kaine in the membrane" (!!!) #BroadwayForHillaryhttps://t.co/CHL1WhDVlW
— shauna (@goldengateblond) October 18, 2016
The two stars spit bars about how to assure Hillary Clinton beats Donald Trump in this duel, short of taking him out to Weehawken.
Here are the lyrics to sing along with your friends, perhaps even in your Hamilton Halloween costume:
It must be nice, it must be nice to have Miranda on your side.
On Monday night, Rose McGowan tweeted an open letter to Hollywood urging them to stop working with "predators," and arguing that those who continue to knowingly do so are just as bad as the criminals themselves.
The text accompanying McGowan's tweet reads:
To the women and men in the entertainment industry who know exactly whom and what I am talking about, I say be brave. Do not work with those you know to be offenders or you are no better than they. Take a stand. You are culpable for your actions. Stop rewarding sociopaths. Every time you sanction abhorrent behavior, you are aiding and abetting a crime, that makes you no better than the criminal. How many stories do you have to hear before you do the right thing and stop rewarding men that are predators? Why are you so cowardly that you would take the softer, easier way out? I can tell you this, your soul is a blighted one if you do so. Your personal legacy, the very fabric of your being, is at stake, so fight for it. I know you have it in you to be better. I know you have it in you to break free from the bonds of secrecy. So do I.
This tweet seems related to a series of tweets McGowan posted on Thursday about her sexual assault allegations against a studio head. The tweets, although naming no names, included the hashtag "#WhyWomenDontReport," and in them the actress claims a criminal attorney told her she had no case against the executive because she'd "done a sex scene in a film."
McGowan continued that her alleged rape is an "open secret in Hollywood," and that she was "shamed" while her rapist was "adulated."
McGowan posting about her ordeal was prompted by fellow sexual assault survivor Lady Gaga's tweet asking that women get the "WhyWomenDontReport" trending:
Emma Stone and her big green eyes are on the cover of the November issue of Vogue, and the La La Land star welcomed the magazine into her super-cool home for their famous 73 questions challenge.
The star busted out her special skills from jazzercise to impressively terrible recorder playing, to her audition for the inevitable Britney Spears biopic.
The whole 9-minute journey is the most impressive one-take film since Birdman.
She continues to be the celebrity I fantasize about going to brunch with, insisting that we're only into breakfast food "ironically" as we snark about the price of avocado toast and debate which era of Tom Hanks was the hottest (she's so cool, she might just say Angels and Demons.)
At Amy Schumer's standup show in Tampa on Sunday, roughly 200 attendees walked out after the comedian got political, advocating for gun control and then launching into a rant against "orange, sexual-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster" Donald Trump. Now, video of the uncomfortable moments just before the walkout has surfaced. Watching it will make you cringe no matter how you vote.
After inviting a Trump supporter onstage and having a very civil interaction with him, attendees continued to boo Schumer. That's when she told all the hecklers that they should leave, and they did. But while 200 walkouts sounds bad, there were 8,600 in the crowd in total. So 98% of the audience was on board. The rest must have bought tickets without having any idea who Amy Schumer is. Did they get a Groupon or something?
Schumer responded to the incident in a statement to Vanity Fair:
I loved the crowd and my show in Tampa last night! I want to thank the 8400 people who stayed. We had a great time! We have always depended on comedians to make us laugh and tell the truth. I am proud to continue that tradition.
Let's hope Schumer continues to tell the truth, because the world needs to know: Donald Trump is orange.
Last month, the world was warned of an America where taco trucks reigned supreme if Trump lost the election. (As if that would be a bad thing.) Now one union is using taco trucks to take a stand against Trump.
According to Buzzfeed News, the Culinary Union is moving forward with its plan to build a wall of taco trucks outside of Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas on Wednesday morning ahead of the third and final presidential debate taking place that night. They'll be joined by several other organizations, including American Bridge, PLAN Action, and Latino Victory Project, as well as 50 immigrant advocacy activists from Los Angeles.
The union plans to have at least five trucks stationed outside Trump's hotel, plus a banner that looks like a wall that participants can sign.
The move is meant to protest Trump's anti-immigration rhetoric. “We’re reminding Mr. Trump that immigrant workers here and across the country will be watching the debate and voting in November,” the Culinary Union's political director Yvanna Cancela told Buzzfeed.
This may just be the most delicious protest in American history. Apparently Trump's campaign isn't even mad about it.
Well, as they learned from the "taco trucks on every corner" incident, it's kind of hard to be mad about tacos.
Not everyone loves when their mother buys clothes for them, but no ugly Christmas sweater could be as embarrassing as this T-shirt given to one Twitter user by her mother.
Katie, an 18-year-old from the UK, tweeted that her mom picked her up a Vivienne Westwood t-shirt with what looked like a gold pattern covering it. But if you look closer, you will see that the pattern is actually a bunch of cartoon people having sex.
Yep. She bought her teenage daughter an orgy shirt.
Katie does have a theory that her mother bought the t-shirt (which retails for about $85) on purpose. She told Mashable, "I think she secretly knew and was just trying to wind me up but every time she looks at the shirt she just laughs hysterically." That's one expensive joke.
When all was said and done, Katie still decided to wear it because, let's be real—it's a really cool shirt.
Justin Bieber had dinner at a pub in England and oh baby is that pub cashing in, putting his used "milk glass" on eBay. At the time of this article, the price had ballooned from the reasonable asking price of £10 (about $12) to a ludicrous £65,900 (about $81,000).
The seller of the exalted glass (which presumably touched the Bieber's royal lips), gives the following credentials:
I work at the kings oak where Justin bieber was seen yesterday having dinner and we kept his milk glass, it hasn't been washed !
What's implied is that if you hold the glass up to your lips, whether you're drinking milk with salmon like Bieber or eating a normal, human meal, it's like you're kissing Justin Bieber.
So if the logic of America's health instructors holds up, that means you're also kissing Selena Gomez, which means you're also kissing Orlando Bloom, which means you're also kissing Katy Perry, which means is $81,000 even enough for this most incredible treasure of celebrity sexual connections?!
You'll also be kissing Russell Brand.
Loss of sexual attraction is so common in marriages that, if it didn't sound disgusting, it would be reasonable to replace "for better or worse" to "for better or when your partner doesn't want to have sex anymore." So what do people do when they've lost that heat? 12 people shared how they make things work till death to them part. Surprisingly, no one mentioned cheating.
Twitter is going nuts over this clip from Donald Trump's campaign rally in Green Bay on Monday night. During the event, Trump invited a little girl onstage, lifted her in the air, and tried to kiss her (seemingly on the mouth). She instinctively recoiled, providing the internet with this election's 1,000th hilariously awkward gif.
Maybe the full clip looks better:
Nope, still bad. There's something unsettling about the way he tells her parents "good job."
Needless to say, the Twittersphere is in a frenzy.
While it seems crass to tie this moment into Trump's many allegations of sexual assault, he really should have known going for the mouth kiss wouldn't help his image right now. But PR isn't exactly his strong suit.
Apparently running out of material in their quest to record their game show, 35 Hours of Baba, for 35 straight hours, a French program ended up broadcasting a sexual assault on a model last Friday.
The 21-year-old, named Soraya, was playing the part of Kardashian West in a skit recreating the infamous robbery that took place in early October. A panelist on the show, Jean-Michel Maire, was supposed to "rescue" her.
The host of the show, Cyril Hanouna, then told Soraya to let Maire kiss her. According to Metro, she said "no."
Soraya explicitly and firmly says ‘no’ – Maire tries to say, ‘She said yes!’ but Soraya repeats again, ‘I said no‘.
Hanouna starts asking her why she won’t let Maire kiss her, and she says that it’s because people are watching. Maire then suggests ‘Well we can do it backstage…’ prompting laughter from Hanouna and the audience.
Maire finally goes in for a kiss despite Soraya's explicit denial of his advances. When she turns away, he redirects his lips to her breast instead.
The BBC reports that over 250 infuriated viewers registered complaints with the French media regulatory institution, the Superior Council of Audiovisual (CSA). The reaction on Twitter was also fierce.
"Can we be angry at Trump and tolerate this? This woman clearly said no. And he forced himself on her... This must change," wrote French politician Cécile Duflot.
"Even as part of an entertainment programme, when a woman says no it means no. I have alerted the regulator about this sex assault," wrote Laurence Rossignol, the women's rights minister in France.
Maire responded with an apology tweet that the BBC calls "semi-serious."
Meanwhile, Soraya has responded to the controversy by saying, "I'm a human being, not just an object."
The CSA have promised to file an investigation into the incident.
