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Doctor asks gay friend for sperm, sues him for child support 16 years later.

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In a bizarre dispute worthy of a soap opera, a Canadian doctor is suing the biological father of her teenager children for child support sixteen years after asking him for his sperm, and fourteen years after signing an agreement that she would not seek financial assistance from him.

However, despite that agreement, a loophole in Ontario law means that biological parents who don't protect their anonymity can be held liable for child support—which means that a couple thimblefuls of sperm from decades ago may end up costing this guy big time.

It's a trap!

According to the National Post, Dr. Amie Cullimore and Michael Ranson first met as medical students in 1991 and became fast friends, staying in touch when Ranson moved to America, and later Europe, after graduating. In 2000 Cullimore asked Ranson, who is gay and never planned on having children, to provide her with sperm so she could undergo IVF.

She would up conceiving two children, now teenagers, using those embryos. In 2002, both parents signed an agreement giving her full custody and absolving him of any financial responsibility. But as her lawyer argues, that deal was undermined by his continued presence in the kids' lives.

Ranson became a devoted "spuncle," a weirdly cutesy term for sperm donors who choose to stay in the picture instead of ghosting immediately. According to Cullimore's child support application, he acted as their father, paying for their vacations to visit him, introducing them to his family, and signing his emails "dad." Gradually, she became upset that he was enjoying all this family bonding while she footed the bill (even though he gave her $22,000 in 2011 to help). And according to her lawsuit, she's no longer able to support the kids on her own.

For the record, neither of these people are sweating it. Cullimore makes just under $250,000 a year as a gynecologist/professor, while Ranson has been working for the World Bank in Europe, making almost $280,000. So no matter how this case turns out, they'll both be fine. Their friendship, however, will probably not recover.

And what of the kids? How will they get out of this without a tarnished relationship with at least one of their (biological) parents? It just proves that no child is safe from being caught in the middle of a bitter breakup, even if one of their parents is a sperm donor who lives on another continent.


Stephen Colbert patiently explains the difference between assault and sex for Newt Gingrich.

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On Thursday night, The Late Show tweeted a video clip called "TONIGHT: Stephen Gives Newt 'The Talk.'" In the clip, host Stephen Colbert, speaking as if to Newt Gingrich, says"You're old enough to finally learn about the birds and the bees and the consent."

The clip comes, of course, in response to The Kelly File interview on Fox News in which Newt Gingrich told host Megan Kelly that she was "fascinated with sex" and "doesn't care about public policy."

Colbert goes on to explain, "Grabbing a lady because you're a TV star is not sex, it's assault. And, fun fact, assault is a matter of public policy, 'cause it's illegal, even if you use Tic Tacs."

Meet the surgeon who just loves Snapchatting his patients' boob jobs.

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Warning: This post contains graphic images of surgery and partial nudity.

Dr. Kourosh Tavakoli is a cosmetic surgeon working in the posh neighborhood of Double Bay, Australia. If you ever meet him, you might call him Dr. Tavakoli. But to most people he's @Dr.Tavakoli2.

That's because he's most notable for his Snapchat and Instagram. If you follow him, you'll find a bevy of surgery videos and, most salaciously, before/after shots of his patients' new breasts.

In a classy move, the doctor accompanies many of these body shots with the crying-with-joy emoji or that red "100" with a bold underline.

Nothing makes a patient more comfortable than their doctor telling them to check out his Snapchat.

"We've moved away a little bit from Snapchatting surgeries because we had a lot of feedback about it being too gory," Dr. Tavakoli told Australia's Pedestrian TV, before guaranteeing that "we do what works for our audience."

What works are faceless shots of women's breasts, butts, and stomachs. On Instagram he certainly hasn't freed the nipple, but a well-placed ghost emoji makes the images just conservative enough to not get taken down.

"There's no denying it's been a good thing for the surgery," says Dr. Tavakoli, whose business has improved with his target market of "18- to 28-year-old women."

But he also insists there's an educational purpose for women considering plastic surgery.

"When I'm describing an operation to clients now, they might say 'Look, don't worry, I saw your Snapchat last week or the week before,'" says the doctor.

He also says the videos provide a sort-of quality control. "If you want to be doing Snapchat [of your work], you better be good, because the camera picks everything up. Lucky [sic] I am."

And don't worry, women who visit Dr. Tavakoli aren't compelled to appear on social media. Still, he says about 40 or 50% decide to sign his "foolproof" form of consent and become waist-down Snapchat famous.

Article 32

Making lasagna is the latest opportunity for a Kylie Jenner underwear ad.

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In this perplexing, ever-changing world, there's one thing on which we can depend: Kardashians and/or Jenners sharing photos in various stages of dress at bizarre times.

Kylie Jenner was, what the kids say, ~*feeling herself*~ Thursday night, modeling a nude bra and underwear set while making lasagna.

And she made sure you knew there was lasagna involved.

Lasagna.

LASAGNA.

Sure, that's sexy, but is it as sexy as the lasagna?

Lasagna.

LASAGNA.

Jenner also made a point to do a lasagna-less underwear ad, which also doubles as an ad for a Brazilian wax.

Lasagna = thirst trap.

Kim Kardashian's robbers were after money, not her jewelry.

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The concierge who was held at gunpoint while Kim Kardashian was robbed at her Paris hotel earlier this month says that the thieves were after cash, not Kim's jewelry.

The man, who was handcuffed and taken to the floor where Kim was staying during the robbery, told Entertainment Tonightthat the language barrier between Kardashian and the thieves caused some confusion.

Kim believed the thieves wanted the $4.5 million ring that her husband Kanye West had given her, so she handed it over to them.

The concierge says one of the men kept pressing Kim for money, but she couldn't understand him, so the concierge told them she didn't have much cash on her. That's when they asked for more jewels.

There had been speculation that the robbers decided to target Kim after seeing her posts about her jewelry collection on Snapchat and Instagram, but the concierge says, "they weren't there for the jewels at first, they were there for the money."

The investigation into the robbery is still ongoing.

Article 29

This Christian Grandma's sweet song about the LGBT flag will restore your faith in humanity.

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Have your faith in humanity restored by Sherri Gray, a 75-year-old Christian grandmother from Nashville, Tennessee who wrote the sweetest song about rainbow flag as a tribute to the LGBTQ+ community.

Sherri is essentially the person version of homemade chicken soup, and I want to shield her from any potential mean YouTube comments and bake a cake with her. She captioned the video with this message.

38 years ago Gilbert Baker created our beloved Rainbow Flag as a symbol for our community. Equality, respect, diversity... and so many other positive words come to mind whenever I see our Flag. And yet...even in deep silence, my heart "hears" the loving message of those six bright colors. I hope your heart will, as well.

Sherri went viral in 2013 after writing a song for the wedding of her niece Shannon to her then-fiancée, Lisa. She has also written songs about common sense gun laws and trans rights. See? Not all old people are narrow-minded curmudgeons.

Talk about healing the world with music.

In the song, Sherri sings, "Fly high, sweet flag, fly proud and free! Protect our world community. Fly high with love, for hate’s a drag. We’re proud of you, Rainbow Flag."

No, we're proud of you, Sherri!


Not even the best mechanic would know what to do with this car.

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You know when your car starts making a weird sound, and you have no idea what the sound means, but you know it's probably not good? And then you take your car to a mechanic, and you try to describe that sound? This picture posted on Reddit by a user with the handle kylet2272 is a pretty good example of someone's attempt to describe the sound to the repair desk without having an actual recording of it.

"Oh sure, I know exactly the sound you mean."

In the description field of the repair center's work ticket, the customer service representative wrote, apparently word-for-word, how the customer described the sound. It reads, "Check rattle noise like 2 skeletons making out on a tin roof during a hail storm using a tin can for a condom."

True, skeletons just making out wouldn't necessarily need a condom, but as a Redditor named UselessGadget so astutely commented, "Being they are skeletons, any touching would be considered boning." BOOM, nailed it.

This mom thinks her two-month-old baby is saying 'hello.' Once you hear it, you'll believe.

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You're probably rolling your eyes at the idea of a two-month old baby being able to say anything. That was our first reaction too. We assumed this would be a video of a baby murmuring/coughing/puking in a way that vaguely sounds like two syllables. But little baby Amber here is the real deal. She enunciates "hello" as clearly as Adele does.

Is this baby the world's greatest genius? Will she be reciting Shakespeare by six months? Doing calculus by three years? Figuring out Snapchat by ten? We'll keep you posted.

Lady dressed as Transformer 'Amazon Prime' wins Halloween.

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Punny Halloween costumes can really be hit or miss. But every so often someone manages to come up with something brilliant, something that hasn't been done before, and something easily recognizable to just about everybody. Case in point: Redditor caronarnold as the Tranformer Optimus Amazon Prime.

Genius.

Caronarnold, who works for a creative agency, not Amazon, gave a little more background on her costume, explaining that it involved"about 10 hours and lots of hot glue. I don't work for Amazon and they're not a client of ours at my work. I just thought the play on words was funny and my work life revolves around brands/branding, so it was relevant to our work costume contest."

Caronarnold's costume won her the office Halloween costume contest, and also put her on the front page of Reddit, where she can revel in her newfound fame for at least several hours, possibly even a day. Ah, internet fame.

Banana Surprise Yumstation is the best, most horrifying way to inject gross fillings into your bananas.

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Bananas are a garbage fruit that should be extinct by now. As far as I can tell, they're only good for spurious Creationist arguments and quickly going rotten in kitchen bowls as people pick out the apples and oranges sitting alongside them. But what if I were to tell you that there's a way to make bananas.... even worse?

Such is the promise of the appallingly named Banana Surprise Yumstation, which Amazon customers have called "cheap rubbish" and a Guardian critic has characterized as "an insult to God." Basically, it's a plastic torture device into which you strap your banana for the grotesque purpose of filling said fruit with jam, or cream, or whichever oozing semi-liquid suits your twisted desire.

I sincerely hope that the person who invented this gets the help they need.

Article 23

The 23 best reactions to Drake and Taylor Swift's future breakup.

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So, Drake and Taylor Swift might be dating.

As two attractive famous people, the law dictates that they must hook up at some point, or at least draw up rumors for publicity's sake.

This comes from a rumor that they were seen canoodling at his 30th birthday party last Sunday, and TMZ added that he introduced her to his mom. And Swift is all about meeting moms.

The internet is skeptical, but also psyched about the future, fire breakup songs.

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Guy starts flirting with customer service, gets shot down, won't let it go.

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When Craig Hazell of London tweeted at the supermarket chain Sainsbury's to complain about their payment options, he had no idea he was about to be the subject of a meet cute gone wrong. He only wanted to gripe that they had no contactless credit card option.

A Sainsbury's customer service rep named Amanda quickly responded to him with helpful professionalism.

But Craig had stopped caring about the card options. Now he had his sights set on this bewitching Amanda.

And at first, Amanda seemed into it.

By this point, Craig was working double time to seal the deal.

At that point, either Amanda or someone else at Sainsbury's decided enough was enough.

SHUT DOWN! Daryl is our hero. Any normal guy would have backed off at this point, but Craig wasn't so easily deterred.

Even Craig's bros started telling him to cool it.

And then Martin got involved.

And Maria. How many people work in this customer service department?

It was obviously a big mistake for another woman to enter this conversation. Once again, Craig wasted no time.

Then Amanda jumped back in to finish this once and for all.

And Craig finally got the message.

But the Sainsbury's crew wasn't done. This was obviously the most fun they'd had in a long time.

But like a true bro, Craig drew the line at gay jokes. They're soooo sensitive.

Relax, dude.

At least this conversation is about groceries again.

In the end, Craig realized he had learned so much about love. But he was still unsatisfied.

This dude needs to learn when to quit. And stay away from that hot counter.


Mel Gibson looks back at notoriously anti-Semitic DUI rant: 'I was loaded and angry.'

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Mel Gibson recently reminisced, on Variety's"Playback" podcast, about the 2006 DUI arrest that nearly derailed his career. You may recall that in leaked audio of that incident, the rather inebriated actor/director can be heard threatening to ruin the life of the officer detaining him, boasting that he controls the city of Malibu, Calif., and claiming that “[t]he Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world!" You know, the stuff we all say when we're drunk.

"It was an unfortunate incident," Gibson, who was on the show to promote his forthcoming war film, Hacksaw Ridge, said of the decade-old scandal. "I was loaded and angry and arrested. I was recorded illegally by an unscrupulous police officer who was never prosecuted for that crime. And then it was made public by him for profit, and by members of—we’ll call it the press. So, not fair. I guess as who I am, I’m not allowed to have a nervous breakdown, ever."

Gibson went on to gripe about people who, for some reason, insist on remembering the horribly anti-Semitic stuff he spouted after getting busted driving around under the influence of "eight double tequilas." Noting that he's "sober" and that the arrest is "a dim thing in the past," he confessed he found it "annoying" that an eruption of latent racism continues to haunt his career. "Surely if I was really what they say I was, some kind of hater, there’d be evidence of actions somewhere. There never has been,” he said. Hey, wasn't that basically Donald Trump's defense for talking about groping women? Hmmm.

Anyway, Mel, we're very sorry to hear you feel it's "unfair" that anyone holds you accountable for what you said and did as a grown-up millionaire movie star. Perhaps you can take solace in the fact that you're still rich, and famous, and in a position to direct massively successful Oscar-bait films? Oh, and let's not forget the sequel to your Jesus torture-porn epic. Yep, it's a rough life you've got.

Mom accidentally cooks dinner with cannabutter and gets the whole family high.

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Redditor Dreamblook was responsible for getting his entire family high when his unsuspecting mother cooked dinner using the cannabutter he'd stowed in the fridge. But don't worry—everything turned out fine…eventually. Well, for his family, at least.

It happened pretty much the way you'd expect from the headline—dude had left his cannabutter in his family fridge, and one night his mother, who had run out of regular butter, decided to use what she thought was vegan butter instead. (Insert pot-luck dinner joke here.)

Our man Dreamblook did what any person would do under crazy circumstances like this—he asked strangers on the internet if there was any sort of damage control he could pull off before his family began to feel the effects of the cannabis they'd ingested. I'm not sure what kind of answer he was looking for, but it definitely wasn't "Film them because it's bound to be funny."

He continued to post updates throughout the evening, including how his mom asked him if there could have been something wrong with his butter (he just told her it was "old"), and how she was freaking out and wanted to go to the hospital, while his father just sat there with a big grin on his face. He also mentioned that his uncle was barely affected and laughed every time he looked at Dreamblook, so it seemed like he knew what was up.

In one long update, Dreamblook explained that his uncle did indeed know, and had told Dreamblook's father, which is why his father wasn't freaking out. His mother, however, who had never done any drug ever, including alcohol, nicotine, or even caffeine, continued to go bananas and then threw up. At this point, she thought it was food poisoning (due to that "old" butter) and Dreamblook's uncle managed to calm her down a bit. Dreamblook stated that his mother finding out she accidentally "took weed" would make the situation "100x worse."

In another update, ​Dreamblook wrote that his mother started to feel better and "had some kind of epiphany about how boring her life is and how she wish [sic] she never gave up on doing art work." He and his "pothead" uncle decided to go ahead and finish the rest of the cannabutter, although it's unclear if they wanted to get higher or just get rid of the evidence. Anyway, the craziness wasn't over yet, as Dreamblook revealed in a final update to the post.

Dreamblook's sister, who'd eaten with them but gone straight to bed after dinner, woke up, felt awful, and called 911. When the EMTs arrived, Uncle Pothead told them she was high, so they took her to the hospital and then called the cops. Dreamblook was awoken by cops, who had arrested his uncle on a felony possession charge (all of this took place in Arizona, which has notoriously harsh drug laws), because he'd had his own weed on him at the time.

Once she found out the real deal, Dreamblook's religious mom was pretty not into it, and reacted by kicking him out. And that's where Dreamblook's story ends. Or at least our involvement in it. Good luck, young Dreamblook. May you live a long and fulfilling life where you never again leave drugs that look like real food in your family's refrigerator.

Article 18

America's devil Martin Shkreli promises unheard Nirvana tracks if you vote Trump.

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Martin Shkreli, owner of the world's most punchable face, is promising to release his entire music collection for free, which he claims includes unreleased Nirvana, Beatles and Wu-Tang tracks, if Donald Trump is elected.

When someone suggested he still release his coveted Wu-Tang album if Clinton wins, he responded that he would rather break it. Shkreli is the owner of Once Upon A Time In Shaolin, which he purchased for $2 million at auction.

Shkreli became the throbbing boil on the ass of America when his pharmaceutical company raised the price on Daraprim, on a drug used to treat HIV and AIDs patients, from $13.50 a pill to $750 overnight. In other countries, Daraprim costs less than a dollar. Oh yeah, he was also arrested on securities fraud charges in December 2015 and is awaiting trial January 2017. He does have good taste in music for such a sh*thead, though.

Hey, WikiLeaks? Be a real hero and release that music collection.

At least there is now a silver lining to a potential Trump presidency now. A silver lining on a tremendous, turd-covered, hellish presidency.

Just in time for Halloween, Chris Hemsworth reminds white people not to dress up as Native Americans.

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Chris Hemsworth took to Instagram on Thursday to show his support for the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe's protests against the controversial Dakota Access Pipeline. After meeting the indigenous activists attempting to block the construction of the $3.7 billion piece of oil infrastructure—which has sparked the largest convocation of tribes in a century—the Thor star was also moved to apologize for dressing up as a Native American at a New Year's Eve party.

Better late than never, I guess? Here's what he had to say:

The offending photo appeared on the Instagram account of Hemsworth's wife, Elsa Pataky, and was later deleted.

The Australian actor has yet to apologize for appropriating Norse culture in every single Marvel movie he's ever appeared in, but we're not holding our breath.

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