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Californians are imagining their own Trump-free, avocado-filled paradise by tweeting about #Calexit.

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The election of Donald Trump shook California more than one of their regular earthquakes, with 60% of the state having voted for Hillary Clinton.

Shervin Pishevar, an early investor in Uber, has been funding a movement for California to secede from the union that has ben gaining momentum since Tuesday.

“Everyone is in shock that we have a reality TV star that has said incredibly racist and sexist things as our next president,” Pishevar told Fusion, “People say he was legitimately elected, but Hitler was also legitimately elected. This is a very dark and scary time in our country. I don’t buy into this idea that just because he was elected we have to fall in line.”

Pishevar points out that the state has what it takes to succeed on their own.

The movement is catching fire like California (again, sorry), with the campaign Yes California calling for an official #Calexit (a portmanteau of "California" and "Brexit." Just kidding, "exit").

The movement has already gone from Twitter to IRL.

It will be fascinating to see how this plays out in Trump's America. An independent California would give Trump another group of immigrants to hate.


7 things you missed today while you were at your boring adult job: Canada, Colin Kapernick, Starbucks holiday cups.

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Hey everyone. How are we doing? You might have had a long day at work or be exhausted by the election, so we're going to make it nice and easy for you to catch up on all of today's top internet gossip. Here are seven things you missed today while you were at your boring adult job.

1. There's a dating app that wants to help Americans find love in Canada. (Via Refinery29)

It's called Maple Match, and it promises to "revolutionize how Americans and Canadians date." So if you're not thrilled with the way this week's election went, maybe this is how you find your future international spouse/path to citizenship.

2. William Shatner is not happy about the changes to Toblerone bars. (Via Thrillist)

He expressed his anguish in a tweet accusing Toblerone of "skimping on the delicious goodness."

3. Billy Bob Thornton opened up about his relationship with Angelina Jolie. (Via US Weekly)

He revealed that her passion for global politics and humanitarian causes didn't fit with his easy-going lifestyle and admitted that he "never felt good enough for her."

4. Here's what women in their 80s and 90s want millennial women to know. (Via Bustle)

For a lot of women, Hillary Clinton's loss felt like a punch in the gut. Bustle asked older women to share some words of wisdom for ladies in their 20s and 30s, and they were inspiring as hell.

5. Colin Kapernick didn't vote, and people are furious with him. (Via ATTN)

Many people supported 49ers quarterback Colin Kapernick as he refused to stand during the national anthem as a means of protesting police brutality and the oppression of people of color, or at least supported his right to free speech. On Wednesday he revealed that he didn't vote. Uh. What?

6. Starbucks released its new holiday cups and, shockingly, the internet didn't even get mad about them. (Via The Huffington Post)

They are red, and they have 13 different Christmas and/or seasonal designs, and no one to our knowledge has found any reason to be outraged yet. Yet.

7. Kristen Wiig is returning to host Saturday Night Live. (Via Hello Giggles)

The SNL great will be back in Studio 8H to host the November 19th episode. Let's hope Gilly will be returning along with her.

The biggest dating deal-breakers for millennial women are the opposite of superficial.

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Hot tip: if you're looking to score a date with a millennial woman, your chances are better if you throw away that "Make America Great Again" hat and check out some feminist, anti-racist books. According to a new survey by Sapio, women between the ages of 18 and 40 listed sexism as their #1 deal-breaker when seeking someone to date or hook up with. Their #2 deal-breaker was racism.

I guess this is some bad news for young, single Trump supporters (at least they have their own dating site so the rest of us don't have to date them).

Intolerance is apparently a turn-off for men, too. Those ages 18-29 said their number-one dating deal-breaker was racism or intolerance, while men ages 30-40 said theirs was bad hygiene.

Dating preferences did vary somewhat according to people's sexual orientations. Straight women of all ages listed sexism as their biggest turn-off, while bisexual women said racism was the #1. And lesbians said their biggest deal-breaker was drug use.

Here's the whole list:

So that's cool that young women don't want to date sexist, racist jerks. Even though 42% of them still voted for one for president. Boy, bye.

‘Feminist Donald Trump’ is the hilarious parody account that we wish was reality.

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Feminists around the country are lamenting the election of Mr. "Grab 'em by the pu**y" Donald Trump as the next president of the United States. Their dismay is understandable, considering that they came so close to having the first female president, only to wind up with the opposite. But comedian/writer Emily Winter is turning that horror into laughs with the parody Twitter account Feminist Donald Trump.

The account reimagines Trump as a weird hybrid of his actual personality and a super enlightened feminist. The result, as you can imagine, is unsettling. But hilarious.

Winter even appropriates some of the real Trump's more colorful comments about women, turning them into something every feminist (male or female) can appreciate.

Winter explained the thinking behind her project to Someecards:

It’s shocking and depressing to me that America would elect someone who says such hateful things about women and minorities. I wanted to start this account to turn Trump’s words on their head so they are inclusive, feminist and funny instead of divisive and horrifying.

Let's just hope she's willing to keep it up for the next four years. We're going to need it.

John Legend chides America for electing an "admitted sexual assaulter" for president.

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Like much of the country (and the world), musician John Legend is having a hard time digesting what happened on Tuesday night. In an Instagram post promoting his new album, aptly titled “Love Me Now," Legend scolded America for electing a president with a known history of misogyny, xenophobia, bigotry, etc. etc. etc. etc.

“I wanted us to choose unity and inclusion over building walls and singling out ethnic and religious groups for hate and suspicion,” wrote Legend, next to a sweet photo of him, wife Chrissy Teigen and their 7-month-old daughter, Luna Simone. “I wanted us to choose progress over yearning for some long-lost mythical era when America was supposedly greatest. I wanted us to destroy the highest glass ceiling instead of electing an admitted sexual assaulter. But we did not.”

It's been quite a time for the United States and the rest of the world as we all watched the election results come in early Wednesday morning. Some of us wept for our country. Some of us celebrated. Some of us are already taking to the streets in protest. You all know how I wanted and expected the election to go. I wanted us to choose unity and inclusion over building walls and singling out ethnic and religious groups for hate and suspicion. I wanted us to choose progress over yearning for some long-lost mythical era when America was supposedly greatest. I wanted us to destroy the highest glass ceiling instead of electing an admitted sexual assaulter. But we did not. These are the election results and all of us will have to learn to deal with it. I will not give up though. I will continue to be aware and vigilant. I will continue to speak out for justice. We didn't think about the election when we planned the release date for this song and video. But in this time of conflict and uncertainty, it's clear that we all need more love. I find it in my family and in my music. Embracing my family has made today full of love and light despite the bad news. But it's also important that we show love and empathy to people who may not look like us or live like us. Those who are marginalized and rejected, feared and left behind. The video premieres Friday and features a diverse group of people from all over the world. From Standing Rock to Iraq, from Orlando to the DR. Love is universal. We all need it. We all can give it. And it will ultimately win over hate. I have to believe that. If you want to join in our celebration of love, use the hashtag #lovemenow and send us a picture of you and someone you care about.

A photo posted by John Legend (@johnlegend) on

Also like so many others, Legend is trying to stay active and hopeful. “These are the election results and all of us will have to learn to deal with it," he wrote. "I will not give up, though. I will continue to be aware and vigilant. I will continue to speak out for justice.”

You can watch a preview of his new music video which debuts tomorrow, here:

#LoveMeNow video is coming soon! Pre-order now & get #LoveMeNow instantly http://smarturl.it/DALalbum

A video posted by John Legend (@johnlegend) on

We can all use a little love right now.

Two bald eagles got stuck in a storm drain and yes it's pretty damn symbolic.

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Earlier this evening, two bald eagles got stuck in a storm drain near Orlando, Florida and I don't know whether to blame Florida or the election results or mercury in retrograde (which may be over but it sure doesn't seem like it). But either way, it's pretty much the perfect metaphor for America right now.

Local news and onlookers documented the poor birds' fiasco on Twitter, so you can see that this is in fact 100% real:

Others quickly swooped in on social media to point out how symbolic it is for America's national emblem to get wedged in a man-made contraption. In Florida, no less:

UPDATE: The birds have been rescued and are okay! We can only hope the same will be true for the rest of us.

Confession

Rob and Chyna's new baby girl made her official Instagram debut.

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On Thursday, Blac Chyna produced an heir to Rob Kardashian's sock fortune by giving birth to a baby girl named Dream. Being the product of two people who have documented their lives through every social media medium in addition to a reality show, it didn't take long for Dream to make her Instagram debut.

Rob, a first time Dad, uploaded the first picture of his baby girl.

Then Blac Chyna Instagrammed this video of Dream that really shows off her full head of hair.

Dream Renee Kardashian 💕

A video posted by Blac Chyna (@blacchyna) on

She definitely has her mother's cheeks! That is one kute Kardashian.

Congrats to Rob and Chyna, and congrats to Dream for getting more likes on Instagram in her first hours of life than any of us ever will!


Happy Veterans Day!

The top 39 tweets of the week, as picked by someone who savors every tweet.

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In case you slept through it, this week was utterlydominated by the election. Tweets about that, plus jokes about about dating, owls, nipples, and more, in the top 39 tweets of the week!

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If Donald Trump really has a list of enemies, Stephen Colbert is definitely on it.

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On Thursday night's Late Show, host Stephen Colbert revealed that the fact that Donald Trump now has a .gov website is "one of the most disturbing things [he's] ever seen on the internet." Adding to that awfulness is the fact that Donald Trump has also apparently been keeping a list of enemies (surprise!).

According to the Trump Campaign's Head of African American Outreach (and OG Apprentice star) Omarosa, "Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Trump. It’s everyone who’s ever doubted Donald, who ever disagreed, whoever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe."

Okay, 1) Yikes, and 2) This list must be on a digital device because there is not enough paper on Earth.

Patton Oswalt has an idea that can help you 'choke down' the election results.

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For most Americans, the results of the election are a very bitter pill to swallow. Luckily Patton Oswalt came up with a new product that could help you digest the reality of President Trump just in time for Thanksgiving with your horrible family. Introducing "Choke It Down!"

Patton introduced the product on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thursday. "Choke It Down," a.k.a. a rolled up sock, will help to muffle your screams of anguish as you adjust to the idea of the misogynistic host The Apprentice leading the free world. Luckily, almost every person in America already owns at least two "Choke It Downs," so you can put the "patented fiber bundle technology" to use right away.

At least someone is offering real solutions.

Trevor Noah says Donald Trump meeting with President Obama is 'so hard to watch.'

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On Thursday night's Daily Show, host Trevor Noah talked about the meeting between President Barack Obama and President-elect/racist orange demagogue Donald Trump Thursday at the White House, saying what so many Americans are thinking: "I know it has to happen, but does it have happen so quickly?"

He added, "You know, it's like if your dad dies and your mom starts dating at the funeral."

He also pointed out the bust of legendary civil rights activist, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., right behind Donald Trump, saying, "That bust must be thinking, 'I have a nightmare.'" It's almost too sad to be funny.

Celebrities react to the death of the legendary Leonard Cohen.

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On Thursday, the death of beloved 82-year-old singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen was confirmed. Here's how celebrities are paying tribute to the legend on Twitter.

1. Bette Midler

2. Marc Maron

3. Ruby Rose

4. Sarah Silverman

5. Molly Ringwald

6. Kiefer Sutherland

7. Lin-Manuel Miranda

8. Mia Farrow

9. Justin Timberlake

10. Jennifer Hudson

11. Justin Trudeau

12. Elizabeth Gilbert

13. John Cho

14. Patton Oswalt

15. Russell Crowe

The internet is in love with this wonderful mom and her relentlessly cheerful texts.

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James Madison University student Delaney Keefe has the mom to end all moms, and she's not afraid to let the world know. On Monday, she posted a tweet with a sampling of the incredibly positive, loving texts her mom sends her every day (no matter how much Delaney tries to throw her off her game). The tweet went viral, and now everyone on the internet wants this mom for their own. Once you read the texts, you will too.

In less than five days, Keefe's tweet has been retweeted more than 126,000 times, and favorited more than 384,000 times. It's a heartwarming dose of mom magic that the world desperately needs right now.


May we all feel as wild and free as this mom dancing at a basketball game.

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America needs a hero this week, and that hero comes in the form of a duckfaced dancing mom cheering on the Dubs.

At the Warriors-Mavericks game on Wednesday, this mom worked it to Nelly's "Work It." Because this hero remains anonymous, we don't know if she actually has children, but her dance moves maker

Bleacher Report sent out this now-viral video, asking the woman's children to claim responsibility.

The combination of an Ugly Christmas Sweater, Warriors pride and sheer joy is exactly what the hero the country needs right now.

Let's break down the sweet moves:

1. The One-Armed Wax On-Wax Off

2. The OB/GYN Who Greases Their Hair

3. The Sexytime Server

4. The Duck Face Boogie

Maybe we will all be okay after all.

This video explains how the electoral college works, in case you were understandably confused.

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On Wednesday morning, Donald Trump was elected President even though more people voted for Hillary Clinton (not a political statement—just a fact). Trump was able to win through the electoral college, an imperfect system put in place by Alexander Hamilton to ensure "the office of president will never fall to the lot of any man who is not in an eminent degree endowed with the requisite qualifications."

That part wasn't in the musical!

So if you secretly don't understand how the electoral college works and are too embarrassed to ask at this point, go hole up in a bathroom stall in your office for seven minutes and let this easy-to-follow video explain it for you. It'll make lecturing your friends and family much easier.

On December 19th, the electoral college will vote, presumably cementing Donald Trump's place as the President of the United States. Still, people are fighting back against electorates and urging them to vote against the President-elect. This petition calling for the electoral college to vote in Hillary Clinton already has over 2 million signatures, although it is extremely unlikely that the electorates won't comply with the results of the electoral college.

Ironically, Donald Trump himself tweeted about his disdain for the electoral college back in 2012.

Agreed, Donny.

Mom 'heartbroken' by Hillary Clinton's loss ran into just the right person while on a hike.

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Like a lot of people, 30-year-old Margot Gerester was not happy about Hillary Clinton losing Tuesday's presidential election to Donald Trump, so she decided to go for a hike in the woods of Chappaqua, NY to clear her mind. Little did she know that Clinton was doing the exact same thing.

Gerester, who says she was "heartbroken" about the results of the election, stumbled upon Hillary and Bill walking their dogs in the woods. She posted a photo of herself, Hillary, and her 13-month-old daughter, which Bill took for her.

"It was wonderful to see her,'' Gerester said to TODAY. "She was gracious and kind, and I told her that all day yesterday, all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her how proud I was to bring my daughter to vote for her, and I actually got to tell her that."

Gerester said that her encounter with provided her some comfort and hoped it could do the same for others who are struggling to deal with this week's election results.

"I feel like it was more my chance to bring her comfort by telling her how proud I was to vote for her with my daughter,'' she told TODAY. "It's important to me that people know the reason I took the picture because for a lot of people it seemed like a dark time yesterday. I hope that it brings people hope or comfort."

Feel better?

See the hilariously disappointing moment a balloon company ruins this family's gender reveal party.

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Joe and Leela Krummel of Minneapolis were just trying to have a gender reveal party when the company they had entrusted to manage the balloons managed to screw up its only job.

For anyone out of the loop, a gender reveal party is where a couple invites all their friends and family over to share the surprise of learning the gender of their baby through some color-coded gimmick. Sometimes they'll cut into a cake containing either blue or pink icing, or hit a baseball containing either blue or pink powder, or dye their hair either blue or pink… the point is that blue and pink are always involved.

The Krummels opted for the simple, classic "box full of blue or pink balloons" gag. But apparently, the balloon company didn't get the memo…

Congratulations! It's a rainbow!

Thankfully for the Krummels, a proper box was soon provided, revealing the good news of their baby boy the way they'd intended. All's well that ends well… they got their gender reveal moment, and the rest of the world gets to enjoy their "WTF" expressions caught on video until the end of time.

Let's watch it again.

Watch 'Big Brother' contestants be the last to find out that a reality show host won the election.

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If you could stomach reliving the moment, watching house guests on Big Brother: Over the Topfind out that Donald Trump won is both fascinating and heartbreaking.

Host Julie Chen appeared on TV in the house's living room to break the news, and the people were understandably shocked, gasping and saying, "Julie, you're joking!"

"A reality TV star is our president," contestant Morgan Willett said, "Well, I guesswe can be president."

The most devastating moment was when openly gay contestant Jason Roy cried, "Gay people, where were you? Minorities, where were you? Can we just stay in here for the next four years?"

Here's hoping that in Trump's America, "Big Brother" just remains a TV show.

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