First of all, do not panic. Are you good and calm? OK, here are the facts: Sabra is voluntarily recalling many popular flavors of their hummus from shelves across the U.S. and Canada—including classic, garlic, red pepper, and pine nut—due to a possible outbreak of Listeria. Customers are being advised to throw out any such containers of hummus with a best-before date up through January 23, 2017.
I know that's a lot to take in, and no, it's likely not grounds for a lucrative class action suit. But the good news, if you've already eaten a bit of this potentially contaminated hummus, is that none has yet tested positively for the bacteria, so you're not necessarily in for "fever and muscle aches, sometimes preceded by diarrhea or other gastrointestinal symptoms"! That's what I call a win.
Anyway, how's the rest of the continent taking the news? Let's check in.
I ate Sabra hummus this week and it's a very real possibility that I have a listeria.
Like any successful model or music video star, Blac Chyna seems to have impeccable control over her figure. But surely nobody would've held it against her if she didn't lose her pregnancy weight right away. Nonetheless, a little more than a week after she gave birth to Dream, her first child with fiancé Rob Kardashian, she revealed a surprisingly taut tummy in two Instagram videos.
Fans were baffled by her speedy transformation and the absence of stretch marks, with many wondering how she'd done it. "The fact that your body looks like that after having a baby 9 days ago makes me hope and dream that mines will bounce back like that after," wrote one commenter apparently expecting herself. But if there's a simple trick to all this, Chyna's certainly not telling.
Everyone is still baffled by Kanye West's erratic behavior of late, which shortly into last night's Sacramento concert for the Life of Pablo tour culminated in a rant against Jay Z, Beyoncé, and Hillary Clinton before he stormed off the stage. But perhaps nobody is as flummoxed as Snoop Dogg himself, who posted a series of reaction videos on Instagram as he watched the meltdown at his computer.
"This nigga crazy," Snoop says of the incoherent outburst, adding, "He picked the wrong night to vent like that, them Sacramento niggas ain’t feeling that shit,” and "you should have had a bunch of weird mothafuckas like you in there when you was talking that weird ass-shit." Elsewhere, he tried to account for Kanye's eruption on a chemical level. "“I smoke weed, weed don’t make you do that,” he said. “What the fuck is he on?” What the fuck, indeed.
Sunday night's 2016 American Music Awards (AMAs) saw the stars roll up to the red carpet in the rain, but that didn't put a damper on their shine. There were quite a few plunging necklines, some sheer fabric, and a whole lot of pantsuits going on on the red carpet at L.A.'s Microsoft Theater. Here are some of the evening's best looks.
1. Selena Gomez
A truly timeless look.
While many guests opted for trendy looks, Gomez looked like a princess in her classic red silk dress.
2. Chrissy Teigen and John Legend
It would be hard for a couple this good-looking to ever look bad.
That slit, tho. The slit up the side of Teigen's dress made eye contact with Angelina Jolie's infamous slit dress and dropped the mic.
3. Niall Horan
These One Direction kids clean up good.
Everything about the former One Direction member's look said "charming." (Not out loud, though.)
4. Halsey
Mad Max's Furiosa would definitely approve.
When you're going to battle space aliens but you have a date afterwards.
5. Hailee Steinfeld
My favorite look of the night.
Plunging neckline? Check. Sheer fabric? Check. Cape? Check. All fashion systems go.
6. Nina Dobrev
No shirt required.
The Vampire Diaries star sparkled in a shiny silver pantsuit, with silver braided into her hair to match.
7. Taraji P. Henson
She'll wear a black bra with a white dress, she DGAF.
The 2016 American Music Awards took place Sunday night at L.A.'s Microsoft Theater. Here's the part of the night where someone completely unqualified, at home in zit cream and a bathrobe covered with Dorito dust, decides which super famous people at an awards show don't look their best. So let's just dive right into it.
1. Ciara
"What, this old bean bag chair?"
Ciara looks fantastic, of course, but her dress, not so much. Maternity dressing gives women a chance to try new looks, but I don't think the "turtleneck gown" look's time has come. With that turtleneck and part of a down comforter, maybe she's just really chilly. Someone should tell her about jackets.
2. Bella Thorne
There's a whole lot of glitter and not a lot of shirt going on there.
The outfit is fine, the shoes are great, the hair…oof. Maybe stick with one color in the tresses, or at least go with two that match.
3. Karlie Kloss
Can a dress have a personality disorder? Because this one might.
It's like she couldn't decide between two dresses so she just sewed them both together.
4. Noah Cyrus
More like "NO-ah Cyrus"…wait.
The print on this is cool, but with the sheerness, a little much. All right, a lot much.
5. Julianne Hough
Another turtleneck dress. Was this red carpet at the Peach Pit After Dark?
The DWTS alum went with a look that's a little bit space-suit, a little bit mail order bride.
At the American Music Awards on Sunday night, renowned stars of 2004—Green Day—took the stage to play one of their new songs. "Bang Bang" is not "American Idiot" so you've never heard it before, but they included a line very much in the spirit of their popular protest album.
An unlikely hero has emerged in liberal America. No, not you—sit down, Elizabeth Warren. Thy savior's name is Green Day.
Chanted by lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong, "No Trump! No KKK! No fascist USA!" is almost as catchy as #GreenDay2020 (this hashtag has only been used once ever).
And because they're the middle-aged heroes of today's protest rock, here's Green Day before the show, apparently treating the red carpet as their own pop-punk urinal.
Hadid and former SNL cast member Jay Pharoah co-hosted event, even though the 21-year-old model and the comedian basically have nothing to do with music whatsoever. Between her bajillion outfit changes, Hadid somehow found the time to impersonate Melania Trump, poking fun at our next FLOTUS by saying, "I love my husband, Barack Obama"— a dig at Melania's noted plagiarism of Michelle Obama.
Some really enjoyed Hadid's impression of Mrs. Trump.
That Gigi Hadid impression of Melania Trump tho 😂#Impressed#AMAs
Sunday night's 2016 American Music Awards (AMAs) in L.A. started off with some very un-L.A. like rain on the red carpet, which nobody except Sting (who was receiving the Award of Merit) seemed too into. But no one let that stop them from having a great time, as these Instagrams reveal.
"I think it's safe to say that most of you know a lot of my life whether I liked it or not," said Gomez, a frequent target of tabloids and internet articles like this one. "I had to stop because I had everything and I was absolutely broken inside."
"I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down," she continued, to a respectfully silent crowd. "But I kept it too much together to where I let myself down."
"I don't want to see your bodies on Instagram. I want to see what's in here," she said, shaking her head and touching her heart as the audience began to cheer.
"I'm not trying to get validation nor do I need it anymore," she concluded, somewhat ironically clutching a trophy for Favorite Female Artist.
"If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken."
Comedians making fun of politicians is basically the whole point of Saturday Night Live, so it makes no sense that Donald Trump thinks he'd get some sort of special treatment, but clearly he does. The cold open for this Saturday night's show was a sketch about Trump (played by Baldwin, which has become customary) and Kellyanne Conway (played by Kate McKinnon), and—surprise!—the Donald wasn't too psyched about it.
The President-elect has tweeted before that he doesn't find Baldwin's impressions of him on the show amusing, but somehow that didn't cause SNL to drop all its political comedy sketches (weird).
This Sunday, Trump again shared his feelings about SNL (which, you'll remember, he hosted a year ago), tweeting that the show was "one-sided" and "biased," and didn't provide "equal time" for an "us" that he neglected to identify.
I watched parts of @nbcsnl Saturday Night Live last night. It is a totally one-sided, biased show - nothing funny at all. Equal time for us?
Thanksgiving is right around the corner, which means it's that magical time of year where you spend hours preparing an extravagant feast for your family just so your kid could eat one glob of mashed potatoes and call it a day.
Bon Appétit made this video of kids sampling Thanksgiving side dishes from the 1920's-present, and honestly, you won't even blame them for being grossed out. From slimy oyster shooters to whatever "cauliflower surprise" is, this video will make you thankful for your store bought dinner roles and bland green beans.
Unless you are some kind of hip family out of an Ikea catalog, the typical Thanksgiving dinner probably won't include beet-filled deviled eggs, but it was sure fun to see kids try to keep those down anyway.
The American Music Awards don't usually call for any sort of political commentary from presenters, but then again, the United States doesn't usually elect a racist, sexist, xenophobic monster to the highest position in the land. So when Chrissy Teigen introduced her husband, performer John Legend, at the 2016 AMAs Sunday night, her statements about the recent election did not seem out of place. But because some of her language was R-rated and therefore had to be bleeped out of the broadcast, you may not have heard them. So here they are, in full.
This next performer is a brilliant musician and a wonderful father who makes a pretty damn good breakfast sandwich and he has been known to write love songs about me.
What can I say? I’m very inspiring, but his songs are bigger than either of us and on the heels of what’s been a really interesting, fucked up, fucking election for all of us, I think we could all use a little love tonight.
If you thought the election would be the only thing dividing your family at Thanksgiving this year, you thought wrong. Reminiscent of the 2015 "The Dress" debacle, a new article of clothing has come to start fights about whether its colors are black and blue or gold and white. Internet, meet "The Flip-Flops."
But hey, at least now you have something to distract your family from fighting about politics over the holidays. Now they can fight about what color these flip-flops are!
Prepare your coffee pots! The Gilmore Girls revival is coming to Netflix on November 25th. Whether you are throwing a viewing party that will rival one of Emily's affairs, or just shopping for the Gilmore fanatic in your life, start stocking up on memorabilia now or else you will be stuck gifting someone a jar of jam last minute when you realize you forgot about them.
1. Gilmore Girls Pencils
Rory would so approve of these pencils with Gilmore Girls quotes on them. Whether you are using them while studying at Yale or taking orders at Luke's diner, you can't go wrong. Plus, they're only $3 bucks for the bundle, which is not too shabby for handmade novelty merch.
2. The Eat Like a Gilmore cookbook
Less "Pop Tarts on a plate" and more like something Sookie would whip up. The book has over 100 recipes, including appetizers (yes, salmon puffs included), entrees, desserts and cocktails inspired by the Gilmore Girls universe.
3. POP! figures of Rory, Lorelai and Sookie
Show all your friends and family how fanatical you are with these really freaking cute POP! figures of Rory, Sookie and Lorelai. You can share them with your respective BFFs or horde them all for yourself and recreate a scenario at the Dragonfly Inn. I didn't say it wouldn't be creepy.
4. 'In Omnia Paratus' poster
Be a not-so-secret member of the Life and Death Brigade with this poster by WindowShopGal. The artwork doesn't scream Gilmore Girls, which is great if you don't want to scare away people with your obsession.
5. BFF or mother/daughter necklaces
Perfect for a best friend, a mom, or a mom who is a best friend. Pressed with the lyrics from Carole King's 1970-song-turned-Gilmore-Girls-theme-song, this is a gift perfect for your movie night buddy. Plus, you won't have to worry about anyone borrowing your necklace if you each have your own.
FandomTwins also carries a hand-painted Luke's "No Cellphones" sign if you are less into jewelry and more into novelty art.
6. Gilmore Girls bingo
If you are planning to watch Netflix's entire four-episode season in one seating with friends, these downloadable bingo cards are a viewing party must-have. Each box displays a scenario that you are almost guaranteed to stumble upon in the upcoming revival (if not, fans will be PISSED), and the first one to get "BINGO" will win a prize of your choice. May I suggest a Hep Alien t-shirt?
7. Doose's Market Tote Bag
Perfect for toting groceries (duh) or large amounts of ice cream, this sturdy tote is a green alternative to plastic bags. It's also a great gift for anyone who is #TeamTaylor, which should be no one, because Taylor Doose is the absolute WORST. I would totally visit his soda shop, though.
8. The Pretty Hammer (it has feathers!)
This hammer is a pretty exact replica of the one Lorelai gave to Rory in season two when she went off to build her first house for charity. What do you do with a pretty hammer? "Build a really pretty house!"
The hammer is from the Etsy shop SchoolOfGilmore, which has a bunch of fantastic stuff, including a SCHNICKELFRITZ banner and Gilmore-inspired clothing items.
9. To-go cups from Luke's
There are plenty of Luke's Diner Mugs on the internet (like, a LOT of them). But if you really want to look like you took your coffee to-go before exploring Stars Hollow, these cardboard cups are an excellent choice. Besides, you can't really take your mug to the town gazebo, can you?
10. The 'Babette ate oatmeal!' shirt
The "Babette ate oatmeal" shirt is one of the weirder souvenirs from Stars Hollow. But owning a piece from Kirk's failed t-shirt business is great way to delight the Gilmore Girls fans while confusing everyone else around you. The shirt comes in a variety of colors, but true fans would opt for the black. Of course, you can always opt for the "Rory's going to Yale!' shirt instead.
11. Rory's reading list, AKA a bibliophile's dream
Throughout the seven seasons of Gilmore Girls, Rory has mentioned 339 books—all of which are amassed onto one poster thanks to the Etsy shop NeighbourlyLove. Now you can truly get inside Rory's brilliant mind by reading everything she has read and checking them off as you go. Maybe by the end of the list, you will also be smart enough to get into Harvard, Princeton and Yale.
12. A print of the floor plan of Lorelai's house
If you are looking for some unconventional artwork inspired by the show, look no further than a floor plan of the Gilmore house on Maple Street. You can see where T.J. made a hole in Lorelai's bedroom, the table that Paul Anka (the dog) likes to sit on, and the bedroom where Rory did it with Dean EVEN THOUGH HE WAS MARRIED. Sorry. Still not over it.
13. Enamel Pins of Rory and Lorelai
Perfect for a pin collector or fans of flare in general, these enamel pins of the Gilmore girls by Heartificial are a great little gift. Just be prepared to answer the question, "Who is that on your jacket?" about a million times. The appropriate answer, by the way, is Ace and a vicious trollop (because "dirty whore" was taken).
14. This Gilmore Girls card game that is as quirky as your favorite characters.
"Werewolves of Stars Hollow" is what happens when you cross an old school horror movie with Gilmore Girls. According to the description, this is a "one-of-a-kind, highly addictive card game perfect for every Gilmore Girls fan" that revolves around the plot that Stars Hollow gets invaded by werewolves (who just happen to be Rory and Lorelai's ex-boyfriends). Sounds like more fun than a 24-hour dance marathon!
15. Talking as Fast as I Can, by Lauren Graham
Lauren Graham's memoir, Talking as Fast as I Can (clearly a nod to the unusually snappy pace of Gilmore Girls) is now available in print and for download. The book is comprised of a collection of personal essays including actual diary entries she wrote while filming Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, which is as close as anyone is going to get to actually being a Gilmore girl.
For many TV obsessives (such as myself) who had Friendsinstead of friends, the holiday of Thanksgiving is synonymous with classic television.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, instead of ranking the festive Friends installments, let's go around the circle and say what's great about all 10 of Friends's Turkey Day episodes. Here's a refresher on all of their virtues to help you binge accordingly:
Season 1: "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"
Why I'm thankful: While this episode isn't particularly memorable when it comes to the full canon, it nails down the thesis of the show. As a coaster I once saw reads, "Friends are the family you chose for yourself." This episode was the one where the pals became a chosen family after shenanigans kept them from their original plans. Plus, Joey as the face of syphilis.
Best quote:
Season 2: "The One with the List"
Why I'm thankful: While the least Thanksgiving-y of the Thanksgiving episodes, this episode is a turning point in Ross and Rachel's relationship. That makes it pretty important in the show's 10-year arc, even though it has a sad ending with Rachel and Ross not getting together just yet.
Best quote:
COME ON!
Season 3: "The One with the Football"
Why I'm thankful: Seeing the friends out in a place that wasn't their apartments or Central Perk is exciting and novel, like seeing your teacher out of school. The episode has everyone on their best, weirdest behavior: The Gellers kooky and competitive, Chandler at peak sarcastic and sad. Plus, the gang is together for the full episode.
Best quote:
Season 4: "The One with Chandler in a Box"
Why I'm thankful: This episode introduced to the world one of the best, non-torture methods of punishment in The Box. A great way to both think about what you've done and prove that you care.
Best quote:
Season 5: "The One with All the Thanksgivings"
Why I'm thankful: I cannot overstate how iconic these 23 minutes are. The turkey head dance. "More turkey, Mr. Chandler?" Ross and Chandler in Miami Vice mode. Sir Limps-a-lot. The carrot toe. "You're so great! I love you."
Best quote:
Season 6: "The One Where Ross Got High"
Why I'm thankful: Jack and Judy Geller are an absolute delight and Chandler's charm offensive is peak Chandler. Plus, Rachel's trifle is more than trifling.
Best quote:
You gotta watch it. As Judy says, it's a lot of information in 30 seconds.
Season 7: "The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs"
Why I'm thankful: A Chandler-ful episode is a great episode. Plus, the season seven bob is among Jennifer Aniston's best haircuts, and Ross's obsession with naming all 50 states is a good geography refresher. Oh, and there's a cute dog! What could be better? (Brad Pitt, but he's in the next one.)
Best quote:
Season 8: "The One with the Rumor"
Why I'm thankful: This episode brought us Joey in the maternity pants, "Here come the meat sweats," and Chandler and Phoebe's brilliant "pretend to be into football so you don't have to help with dinner" technique. Brad Pitt was nominated for an Emmy for his appearance as Will Colbert, a high school friend of Ross and Rachel's. I hate to say it, but this episode has only gotten funnier now that Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are divorced.
Best quote:
Season 9: "The One with Rachel's Other Sister"
Why I'm thankful: Christina Applegate is one of Friends' best guest stars. The "Who gets the baby if you die?" game is a dark fantasy perfectly played.
Best quote:
Season 10: "The One with the Late Thanksgiving"
Why I'm thankful: Aware that this is The Last One, "Late Thanksgiving" combines hilarious bickering with the tear-jerking announcement that Chandler and Monica are getting a baby (or two!). It also introduces the best made-up game since "Cups" (Season 6, "The One on the Last Night" anyone?), Rock Paper Scissors Fire Water Balloon.
Thanksgiving is here and many people are filled with dread to reunite with family members out of fear that they'll have to talk politics over turkey. Nothing is more rage-provoking than the 2016 tire fire election, and many would choose almost any other topic to discuss than Hillary vs. Trump for the umpteenth time. To avoid turning your Thanksgiving dinner into an IRL-version of your Facebook wall, opt for these stories instead.
They're still controversial. They still may cause a mashed potato-slinging fight. But at least they have nothing to do with the election.
1. Everyone died this year.
Okay, not everyone. But a lot of really important people and beloved celebrities died. In case you forgot, here is an expedited "In Memoriam" segment for you. Just imagine "My Way" by Frank Sinatra being played softly in the background.
It is likely that many people in your family either have never heard of or don't believe in cultural appropriation, which makes it a very fun topic to bring up. A lot of celebrities have appropriated other cultures this year. Most of them were Kardashians.
A photo posted by Vanessa Hudgens (@vanessahudgens) on
And Justin Bieber was called out for braiding his hair AND getting locs this year. Come on, guys. Will none of you ever earn?
Have a ball trying to explain to your racist Uncle Richard the complexities of appreciating a culture versus adopting it. Bonus points if you also talk about white privilege.
3. Brangelina went back to just being "Brad" and "Angelina."
Furthermore, Brad Pitt was investigated for child abuse following the couple's divorce announcement. Such a sad, disturbing end to the couple that was supposed to be together forever.
4. The girl who voices Dora the Explorer was caught vaping in the bathroom.
RIP innocence.
Back in April, then-19-year-old Fatima Ptacek and another student were caught vaping in the bathroom of Avenues, a private school in Manhattan. Fatima got off the hook while her friend was expelled, resulting in a lawsuit for preferential against the school.
On May 28th, Harambe, a silverback gorilla, was shot and killed at the Cincinnati Zoo after a small boy fell into his enclosure. At first, the world mourned Harambe's premature death. Then they turned him into a meme.
Although it is not entirely clear if being memorialized as a meme is a compliment or not, Harambe is still a super fun conversation starter. As some weird teen once said, "We have to take shots for him. He took shots for us." Say that to your grandpa, he will love it!
Go on. Bring him up at Thanksgiving. Do it for Harambe.
5. That time hundreds of people tuned in to a live stream of eagles eating a dead kitten.
Nature dazzled us all as hundreds of people watched two bald eagles pick apart a dead kitten, thanks to a live cam set up by the Audubon Society of Western Pennsylvania. Could there be a more fitting metaphor for 2016?
Warning: actual lifeless baby cat being dismembered by hungry eagles below.
What would make better dinner conversation than giving the explicit details on this incident?
You may be so preoccupied with our own personal national crisis that you have forgotten of England's national crisis that happened back in June.
Brexit was the cute name given to signify Great Britain divorcing from the European Union. (Get it? Britain + exit = Brexit! It's the "Brangelina" of the demise of the union put in place to protect families working abroad!)
Fueled by nationalism, xenophobia and racism, pro-Brexit leaders like Nigel Farage used propaganda, anti-immigrate rhetoric and hate speech to encourage voters to opt to leave the EU. Sound familiar?
Here is something lighter than Brexit but equally as British. One Direction boy bander Harry Styles cut his luxurious hair this year. This is definitely the worst thing that happened in 2016. Oh, for sure.
The good news is if we made it through that, we can make it through anything.
8. The Ghostbusters remake made people way angrier than it should have.
Who knew that the freakin' all-female Ghostbustersremake would be just as controversial as the election this year?! Let's just start off by saying this: there are a lot of other things more worth your anger than Melissa McCarthy killing ghosts.
The backlash from the movie even resulted in one of the film's stars, Leslie Jones, being harassed and hacked online. Racist hackers not only continually abused her via Twitter, but they accessed her personal information and photos and leaked them online.
But sure, bring up this up to someone in your family who thinks a movie reboot that no one forced them to see is responsible for ruining their childhood. See what happens.
9. Brock Turner's short jail sentence was an outrage.
One of the most blood-boiling topics of the year was when Brock Turner, a convicted rapist, only served 90 days out of his six-month sentence in prison. Turner, a Stanford student, was caught raping an unconscious woman behind a Dumpster, but the judge decided to go easy on him to avoid the "severe impact" an appropriate jail sentence could have on him.
