If you were not paying close attention, you may have totally missed Adele revealing that she was secretly married in her Grammy Award acceptance speech for "Album of the Year" last night.

The 14-time Grammy Award winner confirmed that she and her long-time partner Simon Konecki have married by saying, "Grammys, I appreciate it, the Academy, I love you, my manager, my husband, and my son – you’re the only reason I do it."

Konecki, 42, and Adele, 28, have been together since 2011 and share a 4-year-old son named Angelo. Though the couple has sported their wedding rings in the past, Adele avoided questions about their nuptials. Neither party confirmed that they were married until now.

The sly announcement was perfectly fitting for the über-private singer who focuses solely on her work and is generally mum when it comes to her personal life. Unfortunately, that means that we will probably never get pictures of what Adele wore on her wedding day, and that is a dress we would all kill to see.

Congrats to the couple and congrats to Adele for dominating the Grammys!

Sunday night marked the return of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. Since this was the first show since Donald Trump won the election, Oliver and his writing staff had a lot of stuff to catch up on. The topic of the evening was Trump's seeming inability to tell facts from fiction.

John Oliver was aiming to be able to provide answers to four basic questions: "How did we get a pathological liar in the White House; where are his lies coming from; why do so many people believe him; and what we can possibly do about it?"

The answers, in short, are:

1. Everyone was too used to Donald Trump's lies to really take him seriously;

2. Cable news, Breitbart, and Infowars;

3. Because they're getting their news from the same media outlets; and

4. Pay attention, verify facts before passing them on, and run these John Oliver-made commercials about facts on morning cable news shows.

Problem solved!

Haha, just kidding. Hang in there, folks, only four more years to go.

Heads up: you might want to start taking public transit or driving yourself to your mistress's place, because Uber is bad at keeping secrets.

BBC reports that a businessman in France is suing the app for tipping off to his wife the fact that he's having an affair. Boo hoo!

The suit alleges that the man once called an Uber using his wife's phone, and despite logging off, the app kept sending her notifications, revealing his travel history and making her suspicious of extramarital activity.

"My client was the victim of a bug in an application," his lawyer said. The couple has since divorced, and the lawsuit is reportedly worth up to $48 million in damages (forty. eight. million. dollars.)

French newspaper Le Figaro reports that other users have been exposed to the same bug that could have exposed their affairs. They carried out an experiment, logging in and out of Uber on one iPhone and ordering the driving on the other, and the app sent notifications to both phones.

Android phones don't appear to affected by the bug, making it the official new phone of cheaters.

To all the cheaters out there: Stay safe and switch to a 'Droid. We recommend the Samsung Galaxy Note 7.

A teen was cruising around her neighborhood, probably killing it, when she received a text from a neighbor. The message seemed nice and reasonable and considerate, but she was begging this teen to curb her bad "habits" around the impressionable children.

First of all, "cigar of some sort" is a very roundabout way of saying "I know you were smoking weed but let's preserve your plausible deniability here and not let it happen again."

So look, all taquito news is hot, because taquitos are made of flaming lava and you haven't really tasted one until its burned off half your tongue. But even adjusting the hotness of this news for the already-hot standards of taquitos, this is some extremely hot taquito news. Don't take it for granted, because taquitos don't make the news half as much as they should.

As you've already gathered, this girl was merely eating a taquito.

hey! it was just a taquito! no bad habits here

Amazing stuff. Just amazing. The tweet went very viral, as it would, and Sarah spoke to BuzzFeed News, like you do.

"I feel bad because in my opinion [my neighbour] is crazy nice and I get where she's coming from. She hasn't responded, I'm assuming out of embarrassment."

Not to make this any hotter—but what if the old taquito defense was just an excuse?

5. Beyoncé, because she got snubbed at the Grammys and now the world will burn.

At last night's Grammy Awards, Beyoncé was nominated for Album of the Year for the fourth time. Everyone thought she had a lock on it—after all, 2016 was the year of Bey. She appeared in the Super Bowl halftime show, released her seminal surprise album Lemonade, and became pregnant with twins. What force on Earth could possibly be powerful enough to deny her the award she had craved for so long? Oh right, Adele.

Of course, Adele tried to make peace in her acceptance speech, describing Beyoncé as the "icon of her life," and even breaking her trophy in half so they could share it. But the damage was done. There's no way Queen Bey would ever accept half an award statue (especially not a Grammy, which is already basically half an award).

Like it or not, Adele has slayed her own hero. And now, her fate is sealed.

4. Adele, because the Beyhive wants her blood.

Including Album of the Year, Adele won four Grammys last night. She swept every category she was nominated in. Today would have been the best day of her life, if she had defeated anybody besides Beyoncé. Now, she'll spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder for a crazed Bey fan with a baseball bat.

Don't believe? Take a look at these tweets from diehard Beyoncé fans.

Adele is learning firsthand what happens when you rattle the Beyhive. You get stung. Bzzzzz.

3. Kellyanne Conway, because she pissed off the boss's daughter.

Senior Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway landed herself in an ethics scandal last week when she gave a self-described "commercial" for Ivanka Trump's clothing line during a television appearance. In doing so, she violated federal ethics laws that prohibit government employees from making endorsements. Even more importantly, she managed to make a scandal stick to the Teflon Trump administration.

Afterward, Official White House Shouter Sean Spicer said that Conway had been "counseled," and promptly dropped the issue. But although it may seem like she got off scot-free, new reports claim that behind the scenes, she's still in hot water. Because she angered Ivanka, the only person or thing Donald Trump has ever loved. According to Politico,

A source close to Trump said that his daughter scolded Conway for dragging her brand into an ethics mess and told her not to mention it again on TV.

Apparently, Ivanka had previously talked to Donald about keeping her precious brand out of politics, but Conway wasn't aware of that conversation. She just "dips in and out of meetings" when she feels like it.

Conway is playing a dangerous game, positioning herself as a close confidant of the president while also making media statements without his approval. So far it's worked for her, but if she doesn't manage to get on Ivanka's good side, her days are numbered. The only person riskier to anger than her is Beyoncé.

2. A guy who told police he was being followed but was actually just super high on meth.

One of the side effects of methamphetamine use is paranoia. In fact, that's probably the main effect. But one Utah man didn't know that—and ironically, it landed him straight in jail. (He probably doesn't appreciate the irony, because of the meth.)

Fox 13 reports that a 27-year-old man called the Garland City Police Department around 3 AM Sunday to report that two suspicious vehicles were following him. He pulled off the highway and into a service station, where police agreed to meet him. When the officers showed up, they didn't see any suspicious vehicles, but they noticed that the man was acting suspicious as hell. Chief Chad Soffe said:

It was obvious he was on some kind of drug.

Searching his pickup truck, they did find some kind of drug. And a lot of it.

That's more than 36 pounds of meth, "concealed" inside food jars. The GCPD estimated the street value at more than half a million dollars.

The man had no identification on him, except for a forged international passport. Officials are still trying to discover his identity. But as for us, we have a theory.

1. Two guys who were arrested for drunk driving a couch.

For generations, the irrepressible people of rural Canada have found creative ways to keep themselves entertained during the endless bitter winter. Usually, lots of beer is involved. But a few guys took that a little too far last weekend, and wound up in jail.

In Miramichi, New Brunswick, a police officer was shocked at 3:19 AM last Thursday when he saw an ATV towing a couch through the drive-thru at a McDonald's. On the couch were two men in motorcycle helmets.

Irresponsible or not, you have to admit that looks fun.

The officer gave chase to this bizarre Mad Max contraption, and unsurprisingly was able to catch it. But that's when things got interesting. The ATV driver, knowing the jig was up, unhitched the couch and bailed on his friends, escaping across the frozen Miramichi river. The ATV was later recovered, but the driver is still at large and unidentified.

The couch riders, meanwhile, were less lucky. The 28- and 39-year-old were both arrested and found to be intoxicated (duh). Maybe next time they have a late night drunken craving for McDonald's, they'll call an Uber. Although in New Brunswick, most Ubers are also ATVs with couches attached to them.

CeeLo Green made a stir at Sunday night's Grammy Awards when he showed up on the red carpet wearing this outfit:

Obviously, CeeLo's outfit looked a tad odd among the gowns and tuxes of others in attendance at the Grammys.

One Photoshop whiz, a Twitter user by the name of Jesse McLaren, decided to move the CeeLo to the one setting where he and his outfit would actually fit in:

Ah yes. A gold plated musical artist is EXACTLY what was missing from Donald Trump's apartment decor.

CeeLo Green fits right in with the Trumps' other furnishings:

Truly perfect. I wonder if Trump will ask CeeLo Green to move into the White House after he sees this.

The Trump administration has been so busy hawking Ivanka Trump merchandise that they have forgotten to copy-edit their own. As sold by the frickin' Library of Congress, the Tweeter-in-Chief proudly smiles with a truly "unpresidented" typo on his inauguration's commemorative poster.

Dew ewe see it?

There is truly no excuse. Not only because this is frickin' PRESIDENTIAL merchandise, but because the proper use of "too" is right above.

Boy, is America grate.

Eventually, the Library of Congress caught on. If you managed to score one of the original typo prints, it just might make a killing on eBay.

This isn't even the only typo that came from the Trump administration over the weekend.

The frickin' Department of Education made its own case for the importance of education by misspelling the name of W.E.B. DuBois, only to make matters worse in their "korrekshun."

Note: They didn't delete the original mistake, but at least had the smarts to delete their "apologizes."

The administration is proving to be great for kids, because they already have to qualifications to join it.

Put your fifth-grader to work in the White House: they'll fit right in.

Every time Chrissy Teigen live-tweets a major cultural event, she proves herself to truly be a woman of the people. (Remember when she got drunk at the Super Bowl?) She was at it again Sunday night, this time live-tweeting Beyoncé's performance at the Grammy Awards.

Unsurprisingly, Chrissy Teigen is a Beyoncé fan-girl just like the rest of us. Here were her tweets during Bey's performance:

She had a pretty good seat.

This is what it looks like when your life has been changed.

Chrissy Teigen didn't reserve her Grammys fangirling for just Beyoncé. Here's what she tweeted when Adele took the stage:

And she freaked out when she got to talk to Jennifer Lopez.

Oh, Teigen also had Ramen as a drunk snack when she got home.

Chrissy Teigen at the Grammys is all of us at the Grammys.

So how exactly can a person use someone else's toothbrush as a vibrator by accident? It seems impossible until you hear Reddit user mintyvag101's story of a trip to her parent's house gone way, way wrong.

Alright. I know what you're thinking how can you use a tooth brush by accident... well...

I am embarrassed to say that this is probably the most humiliating thing I have ever experienced. It also happened less than 10 minutes ago and was a complete and total accident. So I use a vibrating toothbrush to do my business. Ya I know. Not smart. But the economy is shit and I just got laid off, get off my back. Plus it's a hell of a lot more discrete than lugging around a giant black dildo .

Anyways, so I'm staying at my parents house this week and I thought hey let's bring Lil miss pussy scrubber, because you never know. So I'm laying in bed and I decided to do my business but I couldn't find my toothbrush. Remembering I put it in my overnight bag that was in the bathroom I went to grab it. I should have thought it was weird that it was sitting on the counter and not in my bag but I was clouded by my sex hormones and the drive to make myself cum.

"Lil miss pussy scrubber." Let that sink in. Or don't. Actually, don't.

Anyway...

Alright so I'm in my room, did my business, start getting dressed when I notice an odd smell. Not like a foul, I need to go to the doctor smell... but more like my vag smelt like it just went to the dentist. That's when I realize what I just did. So I start to panic. I grab the toothbrush run out of my room and into the bathroom to throw it out and pretend to never have encountered this. Well that's when my sister decided to walk into the bathroom, saw me holding her toothbrush, grabbed it from my hands and started putting toothpaste on it. (We have the same color of toothbrush, but she wouldn't have known as I don't display my pleasure tool to everyone).

Yeah, right.

Now I know what you're thinking... Yeah right. This wouldn't happen... I SWEAR ON MY GRANDMOTHER'S GRAVE I WATCHED MY SISTER BRUSH HER TEETH WITH MY VAG JUICE.

I froze. I couldn't say or do anything. I just panicked. I left the room. And now I'm sitting in my room shaking because I'm the world worst sister.

This is something I will take to my grave.

Wow, this is truly horrid. But is it actually possible? You're probably asking yourself, "Ok, I can see using a vibrating toothbrush as a vibrator but not the end that goes in your mouth? Wouldn't the bristles hurt?

Mintyvag101 explains in the comments section, "I use the back side of the bristles. And only on the clit." She also explains that the heaviest vibrations are at the head."

So there you go. Too bad there isn't a toothbrush strong enough to scrub this story from your brain.

It is February 13th, which means it is officially Galentine's Day! Galentine's Day may have started as a fictional holiday on NBC's Parks and Recreation, but the celebration of female friendship soon took on a life of its own and is celebrated yearly by women all around the globe.

Amy Poehler's character Leslie Knope describes Galentine's Day as a day for ladies to celebrate ladies that is like "Lilith Fair, minus the angst, plus frittatas," but you can choose to mark the holiday any way you and your gal pals would like.

Here are 15 activities we suggest to make your Galentine's Day perfect:

1) Manicures

2) Bake cupcakes

3) Read selections from your favorite feminist manifestos aloud.

4) Facials!

5) Assemble a girl gang.

6) Organize a women's march.

7) Overthrow the government.

8) Dismember the patriarchy.

9) Replace with a matriarchy.

10) Close the wage gap.

11) Convert a Foot Locker into a Planned Parenthood.

12) Cocktails!!!!

13) End rape culture.

14) Compliment circle.

15) Eat pizza and talk about how much you love Roxane Gay.

Remember, femininity and feminism are not mutually exclusive, so whether you decide to get your nails done, smash the patriarchy, or both, you are doing Galentine's Day right.

Have fun, be inclusive, and remember who runs the world:

Beyoncé deserved Album of the Year at the Grammys. Even Adele, who won that very award, agrees, so much so that she used her acceptance speech to fully Kanye herself, calling out that Beyoncé has one of the best albums of all time. ALL TIME.

Past Grammy winner Frank Ocean anticipated this upset, and didn't submit his own work for awards consideration to protest what he sees as a dated system that neglects black artists.

After Beyoncé was robbed of an award she so clearly deserves, her sister (and great artist in her own right) Solange tweeted out Ocean's recent anti-Grammys essay, suggesting that she feels the same way.

"I've actually been tuning into CBS around this time of year for a while to see who gets the top honor and you now what's really not 'great TV' guys? 1989 getting Album of the Year over To Pimp a Butterfly. Hands down one of the most 'faulty' TV moments I've seen," Ocean wrote on Tumblr, in a post addressed directly to the Grammy producers who criticized the boycott.

He writes, in all caps:

IF YOU’RE UP FOR A DISCUSSION ABOUT THE CULTURAL BIAS AND GENERAL NERVE DAMAGE THE SHOW YOU PRODUCE SUFFERS FROM THEN I’M ALL FOR IT.

The trend repeated itself again with Beyonce's loss and um, people are catching on.

In addition to tweeting out Ocean's post, Solange tweeted out a beautiful, inspirational message out to black girls and women.

Since we're here, we might as well rewatch Beyoncé's beautiful acceptance speech for the award she did win, Best Urban Contemporary Album.

There was nothing subtle about Katy Perry's performance at the Grammys last night. The singer, who has been one of Hillary Clinton's most vocal supporters, got on stage wearing a white pantsuit (hat tip, Hillary!), a "Persist" armband (hat tip, Elizabeth!) and a Planned Parenthood pin—she was basically a one-woman women's march and she looked fly af.

The pop star then sang her new single "Chained to the Rhythm" with an assist from Bob Marley's grandson, Skip Marley, against a backdrop of a white house surrounded by a white picket fence. We don't need to read between the lines to see that this is a critique of American culture and a big FU to the current administration.

But just for fun, let's read between the lines anyway!

The lyrics of the song, along with the symbolism of the white picket fence, take aim at American complacency:

Are we crazy?

Living our lives through a lens

Trapped in our white-picket fence

Like ornaments

So comfortable, we live in a bubble, a bubble

So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, the trouble

Skip Marley, who's featured on the track, also joined Perry on stage for the performance. In case you're still doubting this song's political overtones, Marley raps:

It is my desire

Break down the walls to connect, inspire

Ay, up in your high place, liars

Time is ticking for the empire

The truth they feed is feeble

As so many times before

They greed over the people

They stumbling and fumbling

And we're about to riot

They woke up, they woke up the lions

"Ay, up in your high place, liars"? Pretty clear who he's talking about. And given that Bob Marley was famous for his anti-establishment songwriting, his grandson's presence just added another layer to this anti-Trump, pro-resistance musical middle finger.

At the end of the performance, the words of the US Constitution appeared projected on the wall behind her (does it get any more political??). Perry then ended the performance by declaring: "No hate!"

Twitter noticed:

Planned Parenthood noticed:

And Perry's BFF Rihanna had maybe the best reaction of the night:

You can watch the music video here:

If you told me in 2007 that Katy Perry would be a voice of the resistance in a society ruled by a power-hungry reality star I would've been like "GO HOME, YOU'RE DRUNK." But here we are.

As the pressures of Valentine's Day loom over both long and short term couples alike, folks are taking to Reddit to caution their fellow lovers of the absolute worst gifts they've ever gotten, given, or had the good fortune of just hearing about as a bystander. Some of these sound kind of fun, but remember, they didn't go well.

Might as well play it safe with a hilarious Someecard, right? Right?! For real though, these are funny things to send a loved one.

The following are decidedly not.

1. Shlong_Roy is probably still crying.

Girl I started dating a couple of months before Valentine's Day just got out of a long term relationship with her high school sweetheart. I didn't know she was still in contact with him when we were dating. She handed me a cute little bag with candy and a card. As I opened the card and read her pouring out her soul to her ex boyfriend about how much she still thinks about him and loves him. Evidently she made two gift bags. One for me and one for the ex and mixed them up.

2. No one can say Samohkt's girlfriend doesn't know what he really wants.

My girlfriend gave me a pack of cigarettes because I was trying to quit smoking, and she thought it would help me relax.

3. RealAnthonyCamp tried to get things heated up.

4. Jasonhuang717 has a plan.

5. Cute move, W00dzy87.

I saved a patatoe in the freezer that was the perfect shape of a heart. I put it in there in June for February. When I got it out and proudly gave it to my wife it literally turned black and started leaking juices in front of her. In theory it was cute in practice it was like a death threat.

6. This does seem funny from the outside, wacht.

Once I ordered my girlfriend flowers that didn't arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation instead.

It was not as funny as I thought it would be.

7. RabidPancakes lost a lover and gained a bro.

8. Bigfatguy64 snuck in here with some unexpected success.

9. AfricanSunset's SO absolutely cleaned up on the gifts.

10. Doobiedoo23 has more time for doobiedoos now.

11. Another reasonable dad with a reasonable reaction, from gfjq23.

My dad bought my mom a pencil sharpener one year for Valentine's Day. It was the only gift he ever bought her on that day.

My sister and I pestered him relentlessly saying it was weird he had never bought her a Valentine's Day gift, so he listened for what she wanted. She had been complaining that their pencil sharpener was junk, so he went out and bought this really nice electric one (this was in the late 80s, so actually a pricey gift). My mom was SO mad and so he never bought her another Valentine's Day gift again.

12. This isn't even your story, GleichUmDieEcke.

There is a thread in r/relationships right now about this. There's a guy who is below average downstairs, right?

His girl asked him for a male prostitute so she could experience sex with a bigger dick again because she misses the feeling. After continuously telling him that his size doesn't bother her. Shitty partner right there

13. Samadhi05 is the winner and everyone loses.

14. Ophelias32's husband is the ultimate idiot.

15. Your relationship going okay, wall_hax?

16. Was it one of those puffy ones, makingmc?

My dad gave my step mom a toilet seat once for Valentine's Day. He genuinely thought he had the best gift ever. This happened over 5 years ago and we still laugh at him about it

17. Tsquare43 wins the cringe game. Did he mean to type "ex gf"?

18. Durpojones could pull it off as long as he didn't give that explanation.

This year I got my girlfriend a peequality product.

If you're not familiar with it, it's a purple sillicon plastic fake dick tube that allows girls to stand up to pee.

She marched in that womens protest earlier this year. So I thought if she wants to stand up for equality, what better way to do that than standing up to pee?

19. And GeneralMalaiseRB is a jerk.

A dishwasher. Which is silly, because that's just a damn useful thing to have. I think where I went wrong, though, was that I had handed her a mirror with the word "dishwasher" along the bottom in Sharpie.