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Gas station clerk (and 5-time national champion fighter) defends co-worker from would-be robbers.

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Leave a penny, take an ass-beating. (via KPRC)

Before Mayura Dissanyake began working at a Fuel Depot in Houston, TX, he was a five-time consecutive mixed martial arts champion in his native Sri Lanka. This is the kind of thing you would want to know if you were planning on robbing Dissanyake's co-worker on a return trip from the bank. 

Thanks to a nation under surveillance, security footage caught Dissanyake delivering swift justice. 

The champ saw his co-worker get out of his car when robbers jumped out of an SUV ready to grab the money bag. It appears they knew enough about Fuel Depot's operation to know there would be money, but not enough to know there was a world-class ass-kicker just waiting for an excuse to put his skills to use. 

The 5-time champ raced out to help. He described his trained moves to KPRC like this, "The first guy I saw, I just kicked him in the face," he said. "Then I punched the other guy."

Indeed. 

Two of the robbers ran back in the van while Dissanyake was keeping the third neutralized on the ground. You can see in the video that one of the robbers wanted to go back for his friend, but then thought better of tangling with fight master again. 

Two of the men escaped, the third was arrested, but all three were humiliated in that parking that day.

What a skill, start training to be a gas station clerk today!

(by Myka Fox)


Your huge fear of jumping off the high dive comes to life.

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It gets funnier the more you see it.

The first and only rule of jumping off the high dive is: don't chicken out, grab for the railing, swing down until you land on the medium high dive, and then flip over yourself into the water. 

Damnit! You only had one rule to follow!  (Calm down, everyone. She's fine.)

This video justifies every time I walked out the the edge of the high dive, looked down, and then took the ladder back to the concrete. I wasn't ready to be a viral sensation. 

For a high dive jump, it was pretty much a failure, but with a little practice she might have what it takes to nail the "Triple Lindy."

(by Myka Fox)

Here's five minutes of the 'Simpsons'-'Family Guy' crossover that was bound to happen eventually.

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Here's a scene that might as well happen.

Unless you happen to work in the marketing department of the Fox Broadcasting Company, you probably weren't crazy jazzed about the news that after 13 years as channel-mates, The Simpsons and Family Guy are finally doing a crossover episode. Nothing against either show, but it seemed more like an idea hatched by a portly guy chomping on a cigar than by anyone from either show's creative team.

That said, I think I speak for every living human being on the planet when I say that we're totally going to watch this when it actually airs. Just like we're all gonna watch this five-minute clip of the episode that was teased at at Comic-Con over the weekend. (And, don't worry, you're going crazy nor deaf. The volume is weirdly low.)

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

A baby elephant's first encounter with a cat ends in a draw.

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A classic game of cat and baby elephant.

Animals have a way of communicating with one another that humans will never understand. So we can't be sure what it was the cat said to Navann the baby elephant as he walked past with his mom, only that Navann was not cool with it. And it bothered him enough that he decided to go back to give the cat a piece of his mind, only to discover what most of us already know, that cats can be dicks.

At that point, Navann decided it's wasn't worth his time, and turned to leave. But not before using his leg to give the cat what appears to be the animal kingdom version of "bitch, please."

And even though it looks like he may have farted, I'm pretty we would've heard it, along with every living creature within a ten mile-radius.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

TurboRoo the Chihuahua puppy was born without front legs and gets around on toy wheels. But he needs your help.

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Believe it or not, Turbo was not born with those wheels. (via)

In many ways, all of us are TurboRoo, the two-legged Chihuahua. Obviously, not all of us were dropped off at a veterinary clinic in Indianapolis, Indiana when we were only four weeks old because our breeder couldn't deal with our special needs. And I also don't mean that we get around on adorable little DIY toy wheels. That's a bit more literal than the point that I was actually trying to make.

What I meant to say is that we're all born slightly incomplete. We need others to help make ourselves whole. Whether it's companionship or love or a proper set of wheels for zipping around the house, we can't provide it for ourselves. So we rely on the kindness of others.

 

 

You can help make TurboRoo whole by contributing to his You Caring page so that he can be fitted with a professionally crafted front-wheel cart. And you can help make the people around you whole by offering an outstretched hand. Or a set a wheels. They might need some wheels, too. I don't know the exact circumstances of the people around you. Meet me halfway with this whole thing, please.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Brilliant couple defends clinic from screaming abortion protestors with hilarious "anti-protest."

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Just another Saturday pointing shit out. (via)

Grayson and Tina Haver Currin have been spending their spending their Saturdays taking casual drives into Carey, N.C. for a day of fun and counter-protest at the local women's health clinic.

It all started when the Raleigh N.C. couple got sick of driving past Bible-wielding damnation-threatening pro-lifers stationed outside the clinic, and decided, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em with satirical signs that will probably just go over their heads." They grabbed pics of each weekend attempt, started a tumblr, and the support started rolling in.


Woah, is he single? (via)

Tina describes how it began on their tumblr Saturday Chores:

"Grayson and I both grew up not too far away, and we’ve seen the clinic in question hundreds of times. But for some reason, on this morning in particular, the protestors got under our skin a little more than normal. Grayson suggested that we make a sign that said “Weird Hobby” and point at one of the protestors... We posted the results to Instagram and Facebook, and people flipped."


Everyone is en-turtled to their beliefs. (via)

It's a great idea. Arguing with a zealot is futile because they see your interest as validation. But just showing up with a sign of your own? Brilliant. Nothing balances crazy better than mockery. 


I saw him on his revival tour. (via)

While their signs are humorous, the Haver Currins have put themselves in a dangerous situation. Clinics have been bombed in the name of Jesus. To minimize the heat they receive, the two switch off each weekend between who holds the sign and who takes the picture. Tina told Cosmopolitan about how the protestors react, "They tell us we're terrible sinners, we're going to hell, we secretly love God, etc. They ask how many abortions I've had — none, actually — if we're atheists — yeah, totally — and why we're even bothering — because it bothers you, duh!"


She's hiding her face from the truth about St. Patrick. (via)


They're praying for "Grayson's wife." (via)

While they do have fun bothering the bother-ers, there's obviously more to it. As Grayson told the Daily Dot:

“While it's true that we're mocking people, we consider the chief value of what we're doing the solidarity that we demonstrate for the individuals or families that need to use the clinic's services for whatever reasons they may have. Generally, upon arrival, they only encounter hate. We want to offer a rejoinder, however slight. And we also hope to show passersby on the busy thoroughfare that the far religious right need not be the only ones with a voice; those with progressive views have one, too, and we should use it. We plan to keep doing it as long as they [the pro-lifers] can. Already, they've taken to putting their signs down when we show up, which we consider an important, if brief, victory.” 

Showing up with signs is just one way the couple has managed to neutralize the protestors. Another, they say, is just to turn a camera on them. Below is a video from Saturday Chores where you can see this trick in action (but don't call it a trick in front of the protestors, because magic is the devil's work).

Great job, you two! You're doing the Lord's work!

(by Myka Fox)

Depressing truth.

Great reminder.


A bunch of celebrities snuck undetected through Comic-Con in costumes (except for Jack Black, whose gut gave him away).

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Knowing Arya as we do, her shushing you could be the last thing you see. (via Instagram)

A lot of people talk about how Comic-Con gets more Hollywood every year, but they usually (and accurately) blame this on studios trying to take advantage of built-in audiences for nerdy franchises. What they don't talk about is the huge appeal this event must have for celebrities: a giant party where famous people can gain the power to act like a normal person by dressing up as a superhero. This year, Maisie Williams (aka Arya Stark from Game of Thrones), Daniel Radcliffe, Adam Savage (Mythbusters), and director Peter Jackson all managed to sneak around incognito at the fan event, and seemed to have had a great time. Jack Black, on the other hand...well, you'll see.

Mr. Harry Potter dressed up as another nerdy, bespectacled teen with dead parents and extraordinary powers and had a great time hanging out with the Muggles, even adopting an American accent to blend in.

Maisie Williams, who plays yet another bright kid with dead parents and possible powers (the other Starks seem chock-full of wolf magic... who knows?), also donned a Spider-Man mask so she could walk among the commoners. Slipping undetected through crowds is something Arya should be practicing anyway, as is being Anonymous.

Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit director Peter Jackson is yet another person who could reasonably cosplay as himself at Comic-Con, yet he chose...to scare the living crap out of everyone. I guess that's one way to ensure no one will get close enough to figure out who you are.

Maybe because known from TV for debunking fantasy, Mythbusters' Adam Savage was by far the most dedicated in his costume design: a spacesuit from the original Alien, complete with one of the Facehuggers that the crew discovered while wearing said suits. 

Then, there's Jack Black. Granted, Jack put perhaps the least effort (Maisie had two masks) into his costume, but you've got to agree with him that it seems a little unfair that his funny way of walking and big gut are enough to identify him to the general public. Interesting discussion, though.

If you were at Comic-Con, I hope you had a blast. If you missed it, I hope you had fun scoffing at how corporate it has become.

(by Johnny McNulty)

5 great bands we'd rather not see reunite.

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Great bands from yesteryear reunite all the time for a variety of reasons, from needing money for drugs and rent, to needing money for a liver transplant and aftercare. Most of the time, reunited bands are harmless fun. The musicians are able to make a few bucks doing what they love, while TMZ  is prevented from doing a story about a rock legend forced to stock shelves at Big Lot to make ends meet.

Everybody has a right to make a living, and most people with an opportunity to make money playing music would jump at the chance. However, as a music fan, I have a right to spout off like a tool about how living legends should run their business.  With that, I present five groups that should not put the band back together.


Lock up your grandmothers, Zeppelin is in town.(via)

5. Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin were such an incredible rock band that people will never stop talking about them reuniting as long as two of the original members are still breathing under their own power. Zep's run of greatness was at a time when rock stars were still mysterious figures who lived in castles and reportedly did things with groupies that would be considered illegal today. Probably back then as well, it was just a lot easier to get away with it. Besides the music, all the average fan knew about Jimmy Page was that he lived in a castle and consumed drugs and alcohol the way you would expect from a guy wearing a dragon suit. Robert Plant was a rock god who possessed a head of hair that Samson would envy, and a dick that could not be contained by the strongest denim available at the time.

That was the mid-seventies. In 2014, when Robert Plant requests to have his “lemon squeezed,” he’s probably talking to a waiter about the cup of warm water he uses to take his Lipitor. And anyone “shaking him all night long” is most likely trying to get him to stop snoring.

The first Zeppelin reunion was at Live AID in 1985 and it was famously brutal. When the best thing about your set is an appearance by Phil Collins, it's not your night. And that was a hundred years ago in rock star age.

They left one of the greatest legacies in music, and their songs weren't easy to sing when Plant was in his prime.  At this point in their lives, any juice running down their legs should be from a coconut drink on a beach in Bermuda.

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How soon is never? (via)

4. The Smiths

The Smiths were so unique, if their debut was released tomorrow, people would still hear it and say “Wow.” Followed by “What the fuck is wrong with that dude? I want to like this, but I”m afraid doing so will eventually lead to me taking my own life.”

You’ve got to hand it to both Morrissey and Johnny Marr, because neither of them has budged from their no reunion stance despite the fact that they’re asked about it in every interview they’ve given since they broke up. The only exception being when Morrissey’s people warn the interviewer ahead of time that if the The Smiths are mentioned, Moz will storm off dramatically after throwing hot tea in their face.

A Smiths reunion is a seemingly great idea that in reality would be so depressing it might actually make Smiths fans happy, sending them into a tailspin they might never recover from. I wouldn’t want to see a Smiths reunion show for the same reason I wouldn’t pay for a lap dance from a crying stripper. It’s hard to enjoy a performance when you know the artist doesn't want to be there, but are willing to take your money because they have less respect for you than they do for themselves.

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Slash's driver's license photo.(via)

3. Guns N' Roses

You might be thinking, “Wait, Guns N' Roses is still a band.” True, they are technically still a band, the same way that Pringles are technically potato chips. But when only one out of five of the original musicians is left, that’s not so much a band as it is a guy refusing to admit he has a problem. In the case of Guns N' Roses, that guy is Axl Rose, whose current band should be called Hired Guns and a Guy Named Rose.

GNR began its slow death march when they appeared at the 2002 MTV Music Awards with a guitar player wearing a KFC bucket on his head, and Axl Rose looking and sounding like he’d just emptied that bucket before taking the stage. Instead of the crowd going wild to hear “Welcome to the Jungle,” they spent five minutes trying to figure out who these people were that were calling themselves GnR, because no one looked familiar except the singer, and only because he resembled the frontman of The Offspring.

Any hope that the badass who snake-charmed his way into the heart of music fans back in the eighties was dashed when the new Guns took the stage for Neil Young's Bridge School Benefit back in 2012. Not because Axl sounded bad, which he did. But because he showed up on time for both shows. Not cool, dude.

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NWA (top row), SAG (bottom row). (via)

2. NWA

“Straight outta Compton, a mainstream entertainer named Ice Cube, from a band that I can’t even type the name of without fear of being fired” doesn’t have nearly the punch of the original music. That’s why the guy from 22 Jump Street and Dr. Dre, the world's coolest billionaire, are better off letting the group's legacy speak for itself.

Everything about NWA was controversial. Even the casting call for the upcoming NWA biopic made people angry. Two decades later, however, no one needs to see wealthy family men rap about drinking 40s and gang life before boarding a jet to a tour stop in Tokyo.

Worse than the idea of watching the "world's most dangerous band" on a tour sponsored by Kia, is the thought of 40-something year-old white guys sipping wine in luxury boxes at the Hollywood Bowl while mouthing the words to “Fuck tha Police.” 

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Time to change the musical landscape. (via)

1. The Brady Six

The year was 1973. Weary Americans, in desperate need of relief from Watergate, the Vietnam War, and Godspell, found it in the form of six teens with voices of hired, professional singers and choreography as loose as the fashion of the time. The music of the Brady Six never made the Billboard charts when it was released, but it quickly shot to the top of America’s heart with a bullet.

Unfortunately, ever since that magical time they’ve attempted to cash in on the band’s rich legacy with diminishing returns, from the Brady Bunch Variety Hour to My Fair Brady. Five out of the original six members recently appeared on The Talk, which had a lot of fans thinking the band might be gearing up for one more run.

Oddly enough, one thing preventing the Brady Six from further tarnishing their legacy is the success of the oldest member’s musical variety show in Branson, Missouri, which, 70sBarryWilliamsShow.com calls "an incredible, nonstop, two-hour thrill ride."

Good for him. He's doing what he loves without compromising the legacy of one of America's most beloved bands. It's certainly a better way to make a buck than by getting your ass beat by Danny Bonaduce.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

The most insane roommate ads ever posted on Craigslist.

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Not a clue what most of this means, but the bathroom part sounds like he might not be a neat-freak at least. (Via)

Looking for a roommate is every young person's rite of passage, and like most rites this one often ends in bloodshed. Searching the ads you learn all about the human condition and its propensity for veganism, nudism, and in-home compost heaps. These immensely entertaining ads represent the full spectrum of strange, scary and delightfully insane characters encountered during the typical Craigslist roommate search.

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"Talk?" At least the ones who demand sex for rent are up front about it. (Via)

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(click image to enlarge)

Nice housing for like-minded nazi. No sex! (Via)

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He had us at "do your laundry." Worth it!(Via)

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Updated 6/26/14:


"Yeah I had fun in college, except for that year I was a live-in sex slave for Gandalf."(Via)

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Does the other wife also have to be a "state fitness winner"? Or just a medalist? (Via) 

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Count the exclamation points. That's how many times per week this guy will accuse you of leaving a dish in the sink.(Via)

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Updated 5/27/14:


I may let you pay for shelter with prostitution, but I draw the line at parties! 

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Okay, that's a nice living room. Maybe staring at balls all day is worth it?

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Yoga, vegan, fine. Why'd you have to bring "hugs" into it?!

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"Curvy" woman for cleaning? At least the "barter for sex" guy was up front about it. 

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Doesn't Craigslist have a "no astrological discrimination" policy?

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Updated 4/24/14:


Nothing like a roommate whose primary demand is "care for me." (Via)

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It pays to read the entire ad before setting up an appointment.

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It can be assumed a prerequisite it you have to murder the existing neighbor.(Via)

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So wait. Loving dirt and kidnapped sex partners is cool? Got it.

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Craiglist would free up a lot of space if they just had a separate "Sex Slave Wanted" section.

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Updated 3/26/14:


Just don't start the dialogue with, "So what are you wearing?"

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You better like him. It's really hard to move out in the middle of the ocean.

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Hi. Please help me fulfill my dream of having live-in threesomes. I can offer shelter.

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So if I move in, is that thing in the corner up for grabs?

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It's bi day today. Do bisexual people date or do they jump straight into moving in together?

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It might be worth moving in with this couple just to watch their relationship disintegrate.

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Updated 2/27/14:


Sorry, but if you ingest dairy, no live-in threesome situation for you!

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You get a nice room, and every once in a while you have to carry the pumpkin.

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Why's "taking a shit" a part of it? Nudism and poop don't go hand-in-hand.

 



That's how you write a nudist ad. Touching makes sense. Doesn't say a word about poop.

 


Stay away. Based on 'House Of Cards,' government-workers are all murdering psychopaths.

 

Updated 1/28/14:


This couple really knows how to cut to the chase. (Via)

 


Watch over a terrified young person 24/7 and you live rent free!

 



You had me at the nazi tattoo on your arm.
(Via)

 


Just a tip, 420 really helps ease people into the "walking around nude" thing.

 

Updated 10/3/13:


Amenities include use of the anti-bacterial footbath.

 



There was one misprint in the ad. Not sure how "no sex" got in there. Damn typos.

 



I just require the incomparable cooking and cleaning skills or a stripper or escort.

 


Have sex with me and you could have days of shelter. Days!

 


I'm really horny and need a ride to the airport. Thanks.

 



Go with this guy. He's the only one who's actually interested in you living.

 

Updated 9/3/13:


Okay, but I get to be the big spoon.

 


She already evicted me!

 



Define "basic cuddling." Does that include nose nuzzling? I draw the line at nose nuzzling.



"Mature" means you can't make fart sounds every time you see his bare ass.

 


So it's either rape or murder but you can't do both. Don't be a greedy roommate!

 

 


I don't know. I saw a hole in Brooklyn for only $525.

 

Updated 8/2/13:


Wow, a two-bedroom!

 


But if the dog and cat are fixed, no worries about cross-species breeding with my gator!

 


Expect a lot of responses from people convinced they're the ones who'll make you happy.

 


I just get along better with women in the sex industry. Sorrrrrr-REE!

 



An apartment above a garage on a golf course? Feet don't fail me now!

 

Updated 7/2/13:


Baby's busy covering your "conditions." Ask your meth head friends to do a quick revision.

 


What kind of woman would go for this?!

 


There she is. How can we connect these two?

 


If the two above got this guy as a landlord, the entire living arrangement would be sexualized!

 


Cats okay ever since we realized we have no way of keeping them out.

Updated 6/5/13:



How cool is this place? They even have their own super-soakers!

 


Bet this dump will be super-soaker free.

 


You being hot is payment enough...until I raise the rent with a demand for sex.

 


I hate people who have a bunch of hangups. Oh and also, NO GAYS!!!

 



Actually, screw the room rental. Just let me and my husband have sex with you, cool?

 



Pretty sure this is a parody, but it has a important message: Never, ever live with a hippie.

Updated 5/2/13:


And he does mean "lady!" Mannered, highborn asians to cook and clean and live in a basement, only! 

 



We can't see the downside. For you. For us, this is awful.

 


The orange one ate the last roommate.

 


"lol" = Loser Online.

 



At least this ad's upfront about the cats. And the old women.

 


Nerd Manor awaits you.

Updated 4/2/13:


Our day-to-day hairstyle would best be described as "dandruffy."

 


You can't just adopt a big dog? Or lure a drunk stranger home with you?

 



 Except if you're a Judo guy and he's into Jujitsu, it'll never work.

 


Drive me to the airport. Pick up my laundry. Hourly nude fast-dancing. You know, "favors."

 



Great idea, but you'll still get the crazies. It's not the ad, there just isn't anyone else on Craigslist.

 

Updated 2/12/13:


Your handwritten "No Girls Allowed" sign will look great above the entranceway.

 



At $500 a month your wife can afford to leave out some bras and panties for Travis.

 



Oh and I'm saving water so we'll have to share showers too. Cool?

 


Blonde dye jobs need not apply. HE WILL NOT SHARE ACCOMMODATIONS WITH LIARS!

 


Unless he's shaved, don't eat that breakfast, roomie.

 

Updated 10/16/12:


What if we prefer a Caps-Lock-Free living space?

 



If you hold the belt for our autoerotic asphyxiation sessions, it's a deal.

 


Don't laugh. Our Dad and Mom fell in love when she answered his "Used Chevy For Sale And Let's Get Married" ad.

 



Better headline would be "Severely Malfunctioning Humanoid Seeks No One." 

 



No go. We did some stuff when we were three that we don't wanna remember. Suffice to say, it involved Weeble Wobbles.

 


Define "sexy." Also, this being Craigslist, define "women."

 

Updated 8/27/12:

 

 

 

 

< CLICK IMAGE TO SEE FULL AD >

 

Updated 7/10/12:

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Updated 5/1/12:

 

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Updated 2/9/12:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted 8/26/11:

<CLICK IMAGE TO SEE THE FULL AD>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can't complain.

Somebody to love.

How to tell if your cat is an introvert.

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 Letting the cat into the bag. 

This introverted cat's first trip outside went... good, not great. She got a little freaked out by the whole fresh air situation, so according to the description on ignoramusky's video, she tried to hide in a strange woman's purse. Only, the purse was too small.

I'm not convinced. Anyone with a cat knows they are able to fit into any bag, anywhere, anytime.

My guess? Kitty was just searching for a mint.

(by Myka Fox)

Bigger and better.


How not to respond when your phone rings in the middle of a live TV interview.

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The definition of smooth.(Via)

It's never a good thing when your ringing phone interrupts an important conversation, especially when that conversation is being broadcast on live TV, but there are ways to deal with it. Declining the call and apologizing for the interruption is one. Simply switching the ringer to silent and continuing to talk like it never happened, we'd accept that too. 

Phones ring, it happens. And if it happens to you, don't respond like this guy did.

Maybe he had his ringer set to "Hot Potato," which makes his phone become scalding hot every time he receives a call. Maybe that was his way of saying, "To hell with whomever that is trying to get in touch with me. This is more important. I hate my phone and want it to die!"

Or maybe he just gracelessly panicked.

(by Bob Powers)

Moist. Moist. Moist.

Vet who had sex with dogs and horses loses license, becomes just regular guy who had sex with dogs and horses.

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My Little Porny. (via Daily Mail)

Oliver Lown trained as a vet at a university in Hungary, but got caught fucking dogs and horses in the UK. 

The BBC reports that, according to the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons (RCVS) disciplinary committee, Lown was found guilty of five charges, but "each of the charges individually amounts to disgraceful conduct.” 

The charges are detailed individually here:

"Three of the charges related to the discovery of images or videos on a laptop and a mobile phone at his home near Ipswich. Another charge related to footage of him engaging in sexual activity with a horse and a dog, while a fifth charge related to him sending messages that referred to sexual activity with animals."

There are many things I find disturbing about this, beyond this being straight-up bestiality. For one, sex abuse is always more offensive coming from a doctor no matter who the patient is, "do no harm etc.."

But if I had to focus on a weirdest part, it would be the fifth charge, the animal sexting. I'm going to take a guess that one of the things pet-o-philes like about fucking their pets is that they can't say no, so... who was on the other end of those messages saying yes?

(by Myka Fox)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles poster accidentally recreates 9/11.

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I heard when taste goes down the toilet in Australia, it spins the other way.

Look, graphic designers, I have a simple checklist for you when you are designing movie posters. 1.) Is this movie coming out on 9/11? 364 times out of 365, the answer will be "no." 2.) If yes, does the poster involve tall buildings? About 30% of posters include tall buildings. Finally, 3.) Is said building exploding while people leap from said exploding building into the abyss?

If you answered "yes" to all three questions, your poster is probably an offensive and triggering reminder of the day thousands of Americans (and others) died in the World Trade Center, Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania.  You should change that poster.

Granted, this is the Australian poster for the film, and the US version comes out on August 8. Still, I'm pretty sure they get the news in Australia, and we ended up dragging their allied asses into Afghanistan and Iraq, so I'm fairly confident they are aware of what 9/11 is. Paramount Pictures has since deleted the tweet.

Then there's the issue of what this poster and Michael Bay are doing to my fond childhood memories of TMNT, but that's a different story.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Off the wagon.

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