This rapped McDonald's order might not be a prank, but that means I like it better.

I generally avoid prank shows because they tend to err on the side of malicious instead of fun.* And then there's this version of a "prank" from rapper Hi-Rez and Coby Persin of Model Pranksters (real tagline: "We have the models do the pranks"). It isn't exactly a prank as much as just a dude doing a fun thing, which I am much more OK with. You hear me, Internet? I like FUN more than MALICIOUSNESS, and I am not afraid to TELL YOU!

I really hope they purchased the entire order listed in the rap, and I only wish that Hi-Rez did it dressed as the creepy new Hamburglar.

* If you want to torture me, force me to watch every search result for "hot girl prank" on YouTube.

Need to make a music video? Well, you could do like these guys did and just remake an old one.

This video comes out of an awesome project from JASH where they're pairing musicians (in this case, Mikal Cronin) with comedians (Kurt Braunohler and crew) and giving them each $5,000 to make a music video. Or, this time, remake a music video.

The thing I love most about Kurt and Mikal choosing to reenact the "Torn" video is that while you can tell that Imbruglia's original video is from the 90s, and it's something we all remember from the 90s, it's not oppressively retro. It's not all full of Britney Spears schoolgirl uniforms or bloody O.J. Simpson gloves (that was a 90s music video trope, right?). There's something wonderful to me about choosing to replicate the most mundane of 90s artifacts. It's like bringing back a grilled cheese recipe from 1992 — it might be good, but it just doesn't look that different from a grilled cheese today.

For reference, here's Natalie Imbruglia's original:

Richard Overton has been working his way towards this party pun for over a hundred years.

Cake me away.(via KVUE)

Frankly, after a hundred years, you'd think a man would be done with birthday celebrations of all kind. Not because they're not worth celebrating, but because how do you keep coming up with ideas?

Well, Mr. Overton is not lacking in longevity or imagination. This year he threw himself a "Mighty Fine at 109" party. HE IS A DELIGHT. If you're just learning about Richard Overton, you are in for a treat. He's America's oldest living WWII veteran, and at 109 he has gained quite a bit of notoriety. He's lived in his home in Austin since he returned form the war and purchased it for $4,000. He regularly leads the Veteran's Day parade, and this year he got a birthday card from President Obama. Thanks, Obama!

This mighty fine party featured all the usual b-day paraphernalia plus whiskey. Whiskey is Richard Overton's secret to longevity. He drinks some every day in his coffee or soda. Look, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

MyFoxAustin | KTBC | Fox 7 Austin | News Weather Sports

Jef Rouner wrote a take-down of how his daughter being forced to change out of her spaghetti strap dress is total hypocrisy.

Taste the double standards.(photo by Jef Rouner, via Houston Press)

It was spring in Houston, and Jef Rouner's 5-year-old daughter was excited to wear a dress to school to celebrate the fine weather. He packed a spare outfit in case the weather cooled. When he picked her up after school she was wearing a shirt over her dress and jeans underneath, a kind of hybrid of both looks. Her dad asked her if she had gotten cold. Nope. She told him, "I had to change because spaghetti straps are against the rules."

Here's some of what Rouner had to say about that:

I'm not surprised to see the dress code shaming come into my house. I have after all been sadly waiting for it since the ultrasound tech said, "It's a girl." I didn't think, though, that it would make an appearance when she was five years old. Five. You get me? She's five. Cut her hair and put her next to a boy with no shirt on and she is fundamentally identical.

Pretty easy to agree that someone who thinks a five-year-old's shoulders are sexual has the problem. He continues:

You know what really grills my cheese about it? It's not even the shirt they made her put on over her top, it's the pants they made her wear underneath. It's a full-length dress that she has to hold up to keep from getting wet in uncut grass. She even had a small set of shorts underneath because it was gym day. But because the top part of her dress apparently exposed the immoral sinfulness of her bare shoulders she also had to pull on jeans even though her legs remained completely covered as part of her punishment.

IS THIS APPROPRIATE FOR THE PLAYGROUND?(photo by Jef Rouner, via Houston Press)

There are so many instances of women being shamed for what they wear to school that I made this sentence longer so there'd be more places to link out to. You will hear about boys too, but as Rouner points out, it's usually because they're challenging gender norms:

The only time I've ever seen it go the other way around was when I was fighting the battle for my long hair throughout middle and high school. That was last century, but I had a friend go through the same thing with Needville ISD less than a decade ago with her son. And why? Because long hair belongs on girls. There's literally no other possible reason to force a boy to cut his hair if he doesn't want to.

The only way things are gonna change is if people like Rouner keep kicking up a fuss about it. Women should have autonomy over their bodies and if you're too distracted by spaghetti straps to do your work, that's your problem—but the idea that anyone would be distracted by a five-year-old is ridiculous. If you have a little girl, this is Rouner's advice on how to teach them to demand respect:

In the meantime I think I'll employ the greatest weapon a five-year-old possesses; the question "Why?" The next time the kid wants to wear her dress I'm going to let her, and I'm going to tell her that there's nothing wrong with it or her because she is dressed in a perfectly normal manner and cute as a button to boot...And if anyone tells her to change I'm going to advise her to ask why and to keep on asking that person "Why?" until she gets an answer she likes.

"I'm famous!"

Forget the Dislike button. Facebook needs a "Fifth Amendment" button. We always figured the compulsion of users to share every little detail of their lives could one day lead to a criminal prosecution, since it's only a matter of time before someone ends up being bored to death. But based on these post-happy criminals, cops could probably cut down on their interrogation hours if they would just hand their suspect a laptop and say, "While you wait for your attorney to get here, why not update your status?"

He knows, dipsh*t, he's not stupid.

Mom, I'm trying to be PRIVATE, okay?

"Do you still do weed? Asking because I think we shouldn't, mom wouldn't like it."

...and, you know, life.

What is the greater crime: endangering everyone on the road, or that steering wheel sleeve?

No, ma'am, the royalty of tax fraud already exists: they're called large corporations.

You're never out of reach of the long Monopoly pun of the law.

"Well, he's got us there. We can't arrest anyone on their bday. Let him go, boys."

"See, kids? They're so gentle you can just walk up and abuse the shit out of them!"

Wait wait wait! This elaborate deception was by a guy named "Ruse"? Hahahahahaha.

Seriously girl, no matter what kind of pills those are, $3.50 is too cheap.

That's what Craigslist is for, you silly goof.

It was a hit and run. He hit my car with his body.

12 people like this/don't understand what liking something means.

We got a riding someone's ass ticket once. It wasn't driving-related.

HR will have to report this to the cop, unfortunately.

That is classic ridiculous. As in, "Marc was found guilty of 8 charges of classic ridiculous."

You're a bad influence, Tristan. Real bad.

"Yes, let me see your passport. Ah, blonde! Good, everything is in order."

Sounds like you are a "smooth criminal after." You're just an awkward one before.

You only live once, but it turns out you can go to jail a bunch of times.

Pretty sure illegally selling prescription drugs is still the major offense here.

The jury took his tongue-out emoticon-apology into conideration during sentencing.

Anyone who "likes" this is now an accessory.

That means the fourth is the one who took it and put it on Facebook, and also the dumbest.

They're like the Thelma & Louise of stupid ladies with unworthy causes.

"Uh, I wasn't liking the copious amount of weed, I was liking it's capture!" - 3,143 others.

"More like Crime Pays Zero Dollars!" - Someone unfunny, definitely not us.

"Screw you, my future!"

Was the person who made this screencap too stoned to spell "Golden" correctly?

If you're flipping people off and texting, wtf are you driving with?

The shitty hand signs and faux-tough clothes indicate a life of beer photos on the horizon.

Don't steal and selfie.

Nah, I "found" it.

You know your grandma loves a deal!

PantyDroppin is my middle name, but it should be "ThisIsASetUp."

One word...jail.

Thank god they knew a cop who let them get away with driving drunk!

Yet your hands are posting to Facebook just fine.

And is this an ad?

Peace and love and pedophilia.

But thanks for tagging me, brah.

Dad's putting this girl on house arrest.

Their green thumb got them caught red handed.

A dead dog can come around and bite you on the ass.

FREE MONEY $$$

P.S. Backstreet Boys 4 lyfe.

Well, at least he's ashamed.

It should really be 3 strikes and you're out of working daycare.

Get a to-go bag.

Ross got to the heart of the matter.

The 25-year-old coffin was found on a street corner in Bushwick, Brooklyn.

Nobody knows who dumped a casket with no body in it. Investigation is ongoing 2 find the people responsible. Not Cool pic.twitter.com/RgOJiQk6oh
— NYPD 83rd Precinct (@NYPD83Pct) May 6, 2015

This is the first time I've ever heard police use the phrase "not cool." But honestly, it fits. Digging up a decrepit coffin and leaving it on the curb is definitely not cool. Even in New York, where leaving stuff on the curb is understood to mean that it's up for grabs. I don't think anybody wants this for their living room.

The decaying casket, estimated to be 25 years old, was found on Piling Street in the Bushwick neighborhood of Brooklyn. It wasn't far from Evergreens Cemetery, but it's not clear if it was dug up from there.

The weirdest part is that the coffin didn't contain a body, just a few bones from a hand and a foot. What happened to the rest? Is someone in New York making an army of skeletons? Probably, but I don't imagine this is related.

Adam Levine may sing, "Your sugar, yes, please, won't you come and put it down on me," but he didn't mean it literally.

"Your sugar. Yes, please. Won't you come and put it down on me?" http://t.co/Y8qecHL2Y6pic.twitter.com/aEUoQ8tbd9
— E! Online (@eonline) May 7, 2015

On his way to the Jimmy Kimmel Live Hollywood studio, Adam Levine got sugar-bombed by a fan. There's no clear reason why right now. Maybe he thought all of Maroon 5's songs were secret messages to him?

The suspect was apprehended by security and is being charged with battery. Yikes! Weird how randomly throwing a bunch of sugar in a famous person's face could have serious repercussions.

If you're thinking that having a hit song with a food title will get some of that food thrown at you, I've already copyrighted "Waffle Fries" as a title, so back off.

The Void, a virtual reality theme park, offers relief from your non-dragon-filled life.

After years of spending hot summer days at a gross amusement park just so I could throw up $16 worth of fried dough after riding The Magnum, there's finally a place for the nerds to have fun.

The Void is a virtual reality theme park where you and your friends can play the most realistic video games yet devised. If you want to fight a demon, you better put your hands up and get ready to actually fight it. If you want to see what's in front of you in a dark corridor, you have to actually hold the lantern! The only thing more appealing than that is playing a game where, in order to hold up that lantern, you just push a button.

Not at The Void! It's like playing a hyper-realistic Wii game... in public! I can't wait to go there once, get extremely frustrated with the state-of-the-art controls, then go home and play my Playstation in a darkened apartment in the middle of the afternoon.

He should win the gold in parenting.

This is not your typical tooth tethered to doorknob method.

Olympic decathlete Bryan Clay should be awarded another gold for his impressive and creative parenting techniques. I guess we can't expect individuals who are practically physical demigods to just tie their kids' loose teeth to a doorknob the old fashioned way. Clay, who competed in the 2008 Olympics and is now retired, tethered his young daughter's tooth to a javelin and chucked the spear across a field, sending the small tooth flying along with it.

What you use javelins for once you're retired. pic.twitter.com/gVwqK75bVa
— Bryan Clay (@bryanclay) May 6, 2015

Undoubtedly, though, the most impressive part was his daughter, Ellie Clay, nonchalantly asking for water after the whole ordeal. When your dad is one of the world's top athletes, you're used to these impressive feats and are always concerned with staying hydrated. Here's hoping the tooth fairy does something just as extreme!

Shaq went down so hard on the "Inside the NBA" halftime show he lost a shoe.

Poor Shaquille O'Neal. He is a giant man, and the higher they are, the harder they fall. You can see this idiom in action when he takes a tumble off the set and wrecks the place and himself. However, he has an amazing sense of humor about it. He offered the Internet hive mind a challenge:

Whoever makes me the best meme of me bustin my ass (like this one) wins $500 cash. Go. #shaqtinafallpic.twitter.com/3skU2UUUWj
— SHAQ (@SHAQ) May 7, 2015

This isn't Shaq's first rodeo. There's also the very funny Shaq Holding Things, which is less dynamic than this new meme, but worth a scroll. Let's see what the web came up with!

best #shaqtinafall memes (part 1) pic.twitter.com/lKk1gbVWUP
— Chrissy (@imchristine) May 7, 2015

@SHAQ#shaqtinafall Shaq Luge pic.twitter.com/F5tVjJIqyl
— Luis Carrillo (@LuisIsntFunny) May 7, 2015

.@SHAQ Down for the count in @MikeTyson Punch-Out. @NBAonTNT#NBAonTNT#KOdpic.twitter.com/l1aR7lfxul
— John Morris (@JMorrisTV) May 7, 2015

This guy is winning so far keepem comin pic.twitter.com/wZQM8DdMdg
— SHAQ (@SHAQ) May 7, 2015

Maymeather vs shaqiou pic.twitter.com/951Ct3i6sS
— SHAQ (@SHAQ) May 7, 2015

He absolutely did not need to offer $500 dollars to make this happen, but the Internet appreciates the gesture.

1. NFL Findings: New England Patriots Definitely Probably Cheated (Maybe)

An NFL investigative team has definitively found that the New England Patriots might have maybe been purposefully circumventing official rules when they introduced slightly under-inflated footballs into game play during their championship 2014 season. According to a recently released 243-page report, quarterback Tom Brady was "at least generally aware of the inappropriate activities." This minor, overblown incident will likely remain a slightly off-white mark on his reputation for months to come.

What did Hillary know about the Patriots deflating footballs and when did she know it???
— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 6, 2015

2. ISIS Opens Luxury Hotel For Relaxation, Weddings And Beheadings

Terrorist organization ISIS has just reopened the luxurious Ninawa International Hotel in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul. The resort features swimming pools, tennis courts and a large reception area for weddings. Guests who fail to comply with ISIS's strict interpretation of Sharia law will face flogging, amputation or decapitation. Reservations are being taken now.

I tried to Pay it Forward, but ISIS was in front of me, and now I've funded terrorism
— Patrick McLellan (@pmclellan) May 5, 2015

3. Kylie Jenner Hounded Into Shamefully Admitting She Had A Little Work Done

After great speculation in the media and online, Kylie Jenner—the 17-year-old reality television star who rose to fame based upon her older sisters' looks, media savvy and willingness to be filmed having sex—has finally admitted that she underwent a minor cosmetic procedure to make her lips appear more full than they truly are. "I have temporary lip fillers, it's just an insecurity of mine and it's what I wanted to do," she says in a clip from an upcoming episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. "I'm just not ready to talk to reporters about my lips yet because everyone always picks us apart." It is not often that we see this dark side of celebrity culture.

Kylie Jenner's 17 and dating a guy who's 25. But sure, let's talk about how age-inappropriate her lip injections are.
— :: shauna :: (@goldengateblond) May 7, 2015

4. McDonald's To Find Some Way To Make Kale Unhealthy

In its continued effort to reinvent itself, McDonald's is experimenting with adding kale to its breakfast menu in nine locations. It should be noted that all nine locations are in California, so this might just be a regional thing, the way the chain offers Teriyaki burgers in Japan or Vegemite in Australia.

McDonald's is selling kale now but if I'm going to McDonald's I want to regret my food choices and hate my life
— barb (@marshhmallowww) May 7, 2015

5. CBS Buys 'Supergirl' Series That Will Probably Be Off-Puttingly Depressing And Dark

CBS has announced that it will be adding Supergirl—starring Glee's Melissa Benoist in the titular role—to its lineup for the 2015-16 season. Although other DC Comics adaptations Arrow and The Flash have been performing well on CW, this is considered a bit of a gamble because of the lead character's sex and the fact that people are just so frustratingly stupid.

"It's a bird! No, it's a plane. No, it's a bird!" -Londoner seeing Supergirl
— (maura) (@behindyourback) May 7, 2015

Chad and Joey Mudd were arrested for giving their daughters marijuana and cocaine as a "bargaining tool."

Joey Mudd and Chad Mudd(via Pinellas County Sheriff's Department)

Parenting is hard. In these days when everything a kid wants is on their phone, it's tough to give them any incentive to do their homework or their chores. But a father and mother from Largo, Florida found a pretty good motivator: drugs.

The two were arrested for repeatedly smoking pot with their daughters, ages 13 and 15. Their mother, Joey, told authorities that she used it as a reward for when the girls went to school, and for doing homework and chores. Chad also admitted to smoking pot with the girls, in addition to snorting cocaine with them and one of their boyfriends in his truck on at least one occasion. They also have a third daughter in preschool, but there's no evidence she was involved in any of this.

Chad Mudd in happier times.(via Facebook)

Joey Mudd was charged with two counts of child abuse and released on $5,000 bond. She has been ordered to have no contact with her children, who are in the care of a relative. Chad Mudd was released later, but faces six counts of child abuse and one count of cocaine possession. They would both be very lucky to retain custody of any of their daughters.

As much as these two fucked up, you have to feel bad for them. From Chad Mudd's Facebook page, you can tell how much he loves his daughters. He just has a really serious irresponsible streak. Really, the Mudds' worst crime was that they continued this behavior, despite knowing that if they were caught, they would be separated from their kids. Now it's happened, and there's no going back. Nobody gets a happy ending.

AWKWARD! Man steals from old lady, then gets trapped in the elevator with her.

There isn't a single elevator scene in Mad Men that can hold a candle to awkwardness of this robbery.

A Florida man stole an old lady's purse at knifepoint, and just as he tried to make his escape, the elevator door closed. The entire thing was caught on camera because it happened in an elevator. Where there are usually cameras.

I feel bad for the lady who had to endure being stuck in a small space with someone who just robbed her. My only hope is that she farted, and looked around like it wasn't her just before he left.

America's favorite murdering millionaire had another bathroom reveal, but this time it was in the middle of a CVS.

If you watched HBO's The Jinx, then you know Robert Durst famously wore a hot mic in the bathroom and before murmuring his now-famous accidental confession, "I killed them all of course."

Now, his absentminded antics have been caught on video. In this footage, he pays at a CVS counter, then casually takes out his dick and pisses into the candy display. He doesn't seem to be drunk, angry, or even interested in the effect urine is having on anyone around him. Then he leaves! La di da. I guess peeing in a drugstore is the least of Robert Durst's sins.

Hi lawyer, Chip Lewis, said in a statement:

"This was a medical mishap, plain and simple. He had to go and he couldn't hold it."

Yeah, plain and simple. Nothing to see here!

Durst has paid a $500 fine and $7,000 in damages to CVS, but once again, he's facing charges for murder and is a millionaire, so I doubt he gives two sh*ts. Just piss.

This bar fight went "south."

Officer Michael Flaig looking pretty ashamed of himself.

As you are probably well aware, police officers (especially Baltimore police officers) have been in the national spotlight recently, and not because they are doing their job really well. To add to a long list of inappropriate behavior, an off duty cop at a local Cinco de Mayo celebration in Baltimore got into a fistfight behind a bar. But the brawl wasn't a good, ol' above-the-belt scuffle. Apparently, the Anne Arundel county officer Michael Flaig sent the other man to the hospital after biting his testicles.

The fight started when the inebriated officer continued to make unwanted advances toward a woman at the bar, who repeatedly asked him to stop. I am not a dating expert, but if you are already bothering a woman, trying to bite off another man's manhood isn't what you do to change her mind. I think that is literally what separates us from animals; even then the male animals that just dance around with bright colors are a lot more appealing to me.

Thomas Bourne, a witness to the fight, told WBaltTV11 that "the bitee actually got the better of [Flaig] in the fist fight." Once officers arrived on the scene, they found Flaig at a nearby bar. The charging report stated he had "blood stains on his shirt and appeared inebriated." Perhaps other bar patrons didn't take notice because that might not be too strange on Cinco de Mayo.

Flaig was arrested, but got off on bond. He is currently suspended with pay while the Anne Arundel Police Department is figuring out how to tell him you don't bite other people's private parts.