Samantha Bee went to Jordan to hang out with Syrian refugees and yeah, they also hate ISIS.

February 17, 2016, 9:14 am

≪ Previous: 14 times poorly-spaced writing had disastrous results.

As the election cycle ramps up, so too does racist rhetoric in pursuit of retweets and the requisite backlash against that rhetoric. Amidst the swirl of controversy, it's easy to forget that refugees are people, too.

On her new showFull Frontal, Samantha Bee flew to a refugee camp in Jordan to actually meet "the people we're incoherently yelling about." She manages to prove that they are indeed humans too—who, like us, just want to be safe to watch Nancy Meyers movies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5y70oKbAKY

Bee explains the process of being resettled as a refugee, and it's complicated. Which is, coincidentally, also the name of a Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin/Steve Martin movie that's popular in the camp.

↧

Article 32

February 17, 2016, 9:15 am

≫ Next: FDA reports your favorite parmesan cheese may actually be your favorite 'wood pulp.'

≪ Previous: Samantha Bee went to Jordan to hang out with Syrian refugees and yeah, they also hate ISIS.

↧

FDA reports your favorite parmesan cheese may actually be your favorite 'wood pulp.'

February 17, 2016, 9:20 am

≫ Next: A vet ate breakfast in a sad little dog's cage so the dejected pup would feel human again.

≪ Previous: Article 32

Brace yourselves, parmesan cheese aficionados. Y’all are in for a rude awakening. Yesterday, the FDA alerted the American masses to serious parmesan deception: products labeled as "100 percent parmesan" are not entirely made out of parmesan cheese. Instead, they are composed of other cheeses—mozzarella, cheddar, and Swiss—and a surprisingly high amount of wood pulp. Wood pulp!

https://twitter.com/geekdotcom/status/699683637948768256

Although it isn't unusual for manufacturers to use a small amount of wood pulp as "a bulking agent," several companies abused the acceptable limit set by the FDA—two percent—by adding large amounts of it in their products. Currently, the FDA is prosecuting a large supplier called Castle Cheese who have been making super shady parmesan cheese for the past 30 years. Yikes.

https://youtu.be/CuKEceselwU

According to Bloomberg, Castle Cheese president Michelle Myrter will supposedly plead guilty later this month and may face charges that could send her to prison for a year, on top of a $100,000 fine. Bloomberg also ran their own lab tests and found that a large percent of cellulose, which is the primary sugar in plants and the main ingredient of paper, can be found in many popular cheese brands. "Cellulose is the main sugar in plants — a polysaccharide that humans aren’t equipped to digest," Geek.com wrote.

All in all, Bloomberg's results were shocking:

Essential Everyday 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese, from Jewel-Osco, was 8.8 percent cellulose, while Wal-Mart Stores Inc.'s Great Value 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese registered 7.8 percent, according to test results. Whole Foods 365 brand didn't list cellulose as an ingredient on the label, but still tested at 0.3 percent. Kraft had 3.8 percent.

“We strongly believe that there is no cellulose present,” Blaire Kniffin, a Whole Foods Market Inc. spokeswoman, told Bloomberg. “But we are investigating this matter.”

Although eating grilled cheese sandwiches may "get [you] more action in the bedroom," it won't hurt to be a bit more cautious the next time you purchase cheese at the grocery store.

↧

A vet ate breakfast in a sad little dog's cage so the dejected pup would feel human again.

February 17, 2016, 9:29 am

≫ Next: A Kentucky lawmaker wants men to get a note from their wives before buying Viagra.

≪ Previous: FDA reports your favorite parmesan cheese may actually be your favorite 'wood pulp.'

At the end of January, Dr. Andy Mathis opened the doors of Granite Hills Animal Care, his veterinary clinic, to a starving little pit bull named Graycie. Graycie's story—and the video of her—is so undeniably touching it could easily be used to test if a robot's emotional intelligence is programmed properly.

https://www.facebook.com/GraniteHillsVet/photos/pcb.1011187742270999/1011187405604366/?type=3&theater

One could say that when she first arrived at the Elberton, Georgia veterinary clinic, Graycie wasn't doing so hot. As BuzzFeed reported, Graycie was anemic, emaciated, dehydrated, and suffering from vaginal prolapse (warning: not cute photo of vaginal prolapse, ahead).

https://www.facebook.com/GraniteHillsVet/photos/a.147280485328400.28789.121341404588975/1010569392332834/?type=3&theater

(All remaining images and videos are purely cute/sad.)

Dr. Mathis set to work on healing Graycie.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10205550405627325&set=a.10205550403427270.1073742314.1467822703&type=3&theater

Graycie's physical health greatly improved with the intercession of Dr. Mathis.

https://www.facebook.com/GraniteHillsVet/photos/pcb.1011187742270999/1011187408937699/?type=3&theater

Graycie, however, was still having some emotional issues. To help soothe Graycie, Dr. Mathis decided to have his breakfast in Graycie's cage.

https://www.facebook.com/GraniteHillsVet/videos/1010416432348130/

At first, Graycie's body shivered slightly with trepidation. Then her dejected look—which assumes that she, a neglected animal, is not worthy of a meal—transformed as Dr. Mathis feeds her from his hand. The kind human touch reassured Gracyie and she freely experienced the delight of a meal. Once she finished eating, Graycie no longer appeared terrified. She was able to lift her small, weakened head and open up her hurt soul to make eye contact with Dr. Mathis.

Isn't it touching?

As of now, Graycie isn't ready for adoption, though given the bevy of interested Facebook commenters, there will be a home for her when she's ready.

↧

A Kentucky lawmaker wants men to get a note from their wives before buying Viagra.

February 17, 2016, 9:46 am

≫ Next: Dad accidentally sends daughter a Snapchat of his eggplant emoji on Valentine's Day.

≪ Previous: A vet ate breakfast in a sad little dog's cage so the dejected pup would feel human again.

Kentucky state representative Mary Lou Marzian thinks that the newly passed "informed consent" law (which requires women to have a face-to-face medical consultation 24 hours before getting an abortion) is sexist. So on Thursday, she proposed a bill that would hinder mens' access to Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs.

Under Marzian's proposed law, any man seeking a prescription for an erectile dysfunction drug would have to have two separate doctor visits, a letter from his wife giving consent, and a sworn—hand on Bible—statement saying he would only use the drugs to have sex with his spouse (obviously this means only married men would be able to get the drug). She stopped short of proposing that men be forced to leap through flaming hoops, but you know she thought about it.

Marzian, smiling the smile of a woman who loves to fuck with men.

Marzian knows her proposal has no chance of passing—she told The New York Times she wasn't even sure it would get a hearing. But that's not the point; in an interview with CNN, Marzian explained: "As a woman and a pro-choice woman and as an elected official, I am sick and tired of men—mostly white men—legislating personal, private medical decisions. It's none of their business."

Her bill proposal comes in response to the more rigorous "informed consent" requirement that was signed into law earlier this month by Kentucky governor Matt Bevin, stating that women who want abortions must have a face-to-face medical consultation (in person or via computer) 24 hours before the procedure (whereas previously they could call a recording that simply listed the possible health risks).

Marzian told The New York Times, "I thought if we’re going to insert ourselves into women’s most private health care decisions, then we should insert ourselves into men’s most private health care decisions, as well." Of course, before we insert ourselves into men's most private anything, we'll have to give it the legally required 24-hour waiting period.

↧

Dad accidentally sends daughter a Snapchat of his eggplant emoji on Valentine's Day.

February 17, 2016, 9:47 am

≫ Next: Article 27

≪ Previous: A Kentucky lawmaker wants men to get a note from their wives before buying Viagra.

Robyn Millen, an 18-year-old in Brighton, England, was horrified to see a picture her dad meant to send privately to her mother—after he accidentally added it to his Snapchat story.

https://twitter.com/trvmanblvcks/status/698947651409158145

The mix-up happened since Snapchat allows users to send private pictures to individuals, which expire after a few seconds, but also allows pics to be sent to everyone on a user's friend list via the story feature. Those pictures are viewable for 24 hours. Apparently Mr. Millen was not aware of that distinction, and added a pic to his story instead of sending it directly to his wife.

Millen, as her tweet so succinctly states, wanted to die of embarrassment. But her dad, true to dad form, could care less:

https://twitter.com/trvmanblvcks/status/698998391083286528

Mom also thinks it's hilarious. Let this be a lesson to all parents that want to hop on the latest social media trends: it's all fun and games until a picture of your shriveled member covered in emojis gets retweeted thousands of times.

Congrats to the Millens for keeping things spicy in their marriage after all these years, it looks like they had a spectacular Valentine's Day.

↧

Article 27

February 17, 2016, 10:00 am

≫ Next: Pretend you've seen all the Best Picture nominees with this 4-minute video.

≪ Previous: Dad accidentally sends daughter a Snapchat of his eggplant emoji on Valentine's Day.

↧

Pretend you've seen all the Best Picture nominees with this 4-minute video.

February 17, 2016, 10:01 am

≫ Next: Pizza Hut trolls Kanye about his 'I’m-so-broke’ rant with a delicious offer.

≪ Previous: Article 27

The Oscars are coming up at the end of the month, and with so many movies nominated, it's hard to keep up with the trials and tribulations of all these struggling white people. Here's the Cliff's Notes version of all the Best Picture nominees, so you can tell your friends that you've driven on both Fury Road and the Bridge of Spies, shined a Spotlight in a Room in Brooklyn and found The Martian (and also The Revenant and The Big Short). Spoilers abound, but that's the point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xwx1MU74qbQ&feature=youtu.be

And head over here if you still need to pretend you watched the Grammys.

↧

Pizza Hut trolls Kanye about his 'I’m-so-broke’ rant with a delicious offer.

February 17, 2016, 10:09 am

≫ Next: 27 of the funniest responses to Jeb Bush tweeting a photo of his silly gun.

≪ Previous: Pretend you've seen all the Best Picture nominees with this 4-minute video.

Recently, Kanye has been gracing Twitter with a slew of rants involving topics such as Taylor Swift and Tidal. In response to his latest hard-to-follow rant regarding his $53 million dollar debt, Pizza Hut UK stepped up and offered to help Kanye out.

https://twitter.com/pizzahutuk/status/699335360594190336

Unfortunately, Kanye's résumé was a little tricky to read.

https://twitter.com/pizzahutuk/status/699359480404951040

This is not the first time Pizza Hut UK has reached out via Twitter to Kanye.

https://twitter.com/pizzahutuk/status/694897210190872576

Sorry Virgin Australia, Pizza Hut UK is doing a much better job of corporate trolling.

↧

27 of the funniest responses to Jeb Bush tweeting a photo of his silly gun.

February 17, 2016, 10:10 am

≫ Next: Article 23

≪ Previous: Pizza Hut trolls Kanye about his 'I’m-so-broke’ rant with a delicious offer.

Yesterday, Jeb Bush tweeted out a picture of a gun that was engraved with his name, for some reason. It was devoid of all context, and it was kind of worrying.

https://twitter.com/JebBush/status/699706718419345408

For what it's worth, "America" is a pretty badass thing to say to someone before you shoot them. But that's beside the point. Naturally, people thought the image was hilarious and scary. Here are some of the best tweets making fun of Jeb in what appears to be a real moment of vulnerability:

1.

https://twitter.com/TheMissyBaker/status/699756576685625344

2.

https://twitter.com/brianbooone/status/699714623176445952

3.

https://twitter.com/EvolveHumans/status/699984606389342208

4.

https://twitter.com/sonicdork/status/699713944894607360

5.

https://twitter.com/nedostup/status/699717233820487682

6.

https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway/status/699708763490672642

7.

https://twitter.com/connorratliff/status/699708722944339968

8.

https://twitter.com/drujohnston/status/699742514354515970

9.

https://twitter.com/TurboGrandma/status/699742688107765764

10.

https://twitter.com/joshgondelman/status/699765971674927104

11.

https://twitter.com/JohnnyMcNulty/status/699727299093078016

12.

https://twitter.com/suesmith666/status/699719926471327744

13.

https://twitter.com/HireMeImFunny/status/699730584134881280

14. (It's a Simpsons reference.)

https://twitter.com/Slade/status/699709227816845312

15.

https://twitter.com/JohnJosephAdams/status/699712672296603648

16.

https://twitter.com/ByYourLogic/status/699709839501565953

17.

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/699710534283890688

18.

https://twitter.com/jakefogelnest/status/699707869759827968

19.

https://twitter.com/RyanScottGraham/status/699711268005937152

20.

https://twitter.com/dynamoe/status/699759080798318594

21.

https://twitter.com/AlisonLeiby/status/699981479137431553

22.

https://twitter.com/ChrisRRegan/status/699862493120712704

23.

https://twitter.com/BetteMidler/status/699823503739060225

24.

https://twitter.com/LOLGOP/status/699770107220905985

25.

https://twitter.com/BenjaminJS/status/699725385525661696

26.

https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/699722145887289344

27.

https://twitter.com/behindyourback/status/699720920278020097

↧

Article 23

February 17, 2016, 10:30 am

≫ Next: Article 22

≪ Previous: 27 of the funniest responses to Jeb Bush tweeting a photo of his silly gun.

↧

Article 22

February 17, 2016, 11:00 am

≫ Next: This unborn baby is healthy except for the fact that it keeps punching itself for some reason.

≪ Previous: Article 23

↧

This unborn baby is healthy except for the fact that it keeps punching itself for some reason.

February 17, 2016, 11:20 am

≫ Next: Cops surrounded a house in Montana only to discover they were watching 'The Walking Dead.'

≪ Previous: Article 22

Parents-to-be Vanessa and Dave Watson from Kansas City, Missouri paid a visit to their doctor’s office to check on how their adorable baby boy Edward James (EJ for short) was doing in the womb. As they peered at the ultrasound, they couldn’t believe what they saw.

https://youtu.be/1t_aHm_fGsg

No, they didn’t find out their baby turned into demon…their little guy was punching his own head. #Smh.

"I wanted to ask him, 'Why are you knocking yourself, boy?'" Vanessa Watson told the Wichita Eagle. "The nurse doing the ultrasound said that in 20 years she's never seen anything like that."

Fortunately, "the doctor said EJ didn’t hurt himself,” Fox13 reported.

https://twitter.com/theobserver/status/698177033600438273

Why on Earth would you do that, EJ?! Perhaps the self-punching unborn child knew how many sweet, sweet views his ultrasound scan would get on YouTube. Well if that’s the case, it worked. The couple’s video of EJ’s 20-week scan has already garnered over 200,000 views.

On the other hand, EJ's mom speculates that her iron fist baby has adopted the family's passion for ultimate fighting and told KAKE-TV that she thinks that "maybe he's going to be some fighter or some boxing guy."

"I have been training since before I was born."

Thank you EJ for brightening everyone’s day with your ill-advised yet somewhat cute performance. Just keep the punches to a minimum, okay?

↧

Cops surrounded a house in Montana only to discover they were watching 'The Walking Dead.'

February 17, 2016, 11:25 am

≫ Next: Here's what happens to your body if you only drink soda. Ew.

≪ Previous: This unborn baby is healthy except for the fact that it keeps punching itself for some reason.

On Sunday night, the neighbor of Montana family called 911 and reported “screaming from a house about someone having a gun,” according to the Great Falls Police Department. Seven officers responded to the call, which turned out to be the family watching the mid-season premiere of The Walking Dead. Which means they probably didn't pay attention to the part of the 911 call that said they were “screaming about braaaaaaaains."

Great Falls police following the incident.

The officers' report said they heard “loud talking” from inside the house and observed “flashing lights.” The only thing this family is guilty of, however, is having a really sweet surround sound system.

↧

Here's what happens to your body if you only drink soda. Ew.

February 17, 2016, 11:45 am

≫ Next: Maisie Williams proves she's the breakout star of 'Game of Thrones' by adopting an adorable dog.

≪ Previous: Cops surrounded a house in Montana only to discover they were watching 'The Walking Dead.'

YouTube channel AsapSCIENCE asked the question that many people who enjoy soda try to avoid thinking about: "What if you only drank soda?" As in: no water, just soda. Whether you're drinking regular or diet, AsapSCIENCE shows that the diet regime would not pan out well for a number of reasons. Watch to learn how massive amounts of soda can wage war on your body.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y52e551lU50

To sum it up, consuming those extra 5,342 calories a week would not be beneficial, and even a heavy intake of diet soda would leave one looking like Madonna's hands.

↧

Maisie Williams proves she's the breakout star of 'Game of Thrones' by adopting an adorable dog.

February 17, 2016, 11:50 am

≫ Next: Article 17

≪ Previous: Here's what happens to your body if you only drink soda. Ew.

Maisie Williams, perhaps better known as Game of Thrones's Arya Stark, adopted a new direwolf, only this one is very small, rather fluffy, and goes by the name Sonny.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBvE8x3HquA/

Williams adopted Sonny after Christmas from Bristol Dogs and Cats, but she waited until he was "settled" (unpacked, maybe? Forwarding address set up? Registered in doggie elementary school?) before announcing it to the world. Now that the news is out, though, Williams has an important message for her fans and fellow dog-lovers: adopt, don't shop.

She introduced her new best friend to the world via Instagram, with the caption:

Adopted this little guy from Bristol Dogs and Cats home just after Christmas. Now that he's finally settled, I wanted to show you all the best companion I could have asked for. If you are looking for a dog and you are in the position to rescue, rather than buy, then PLEASE do- you never know what you might find.

Bristol Dogs and Cats posted a picture of Williams and Sonny on their page, with a similar message.

https://www.facebook.com/RSPCABristolandBDCH/photos/a.192538644133299.52303.167936559926841/921012057952617/?type=3&theater

Fans of Nymeria, #neverforget.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGnc84KOQVA

Williams posted an Instagram of herself with her three siblings, a baby, and Sonny. She wrote, "We have some new additions to the family."

https://www.instagram.com/p/BB4fafCHqu7/

This family is just getting more photogenic.

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Article 17

February 17, 2016, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: This woman left an unhappy marriage to travel the world photographing herself in her wedding dress.

≪ Previous: Maisie Williams proves she's the breakout star of 'Game of Thrones' by adopting an adorable dog.

↧

This woman left an unhappy marriage to travel the world photographing herself in her wedding dress.

February 17, 2016, 12:03 pm

≫ Next: Watch this woman's infected tattoo erupt with a biblical flood of pus.

≪ Previous: Article 17

Pavlina Melicharova from the Czech Republic took a page from Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir Eat, Pray, Love when she left an unhappy marriage of two and a half years last October and started her own "journey of self-discovery."

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.958063527549416.1073741828.956751184347317/958869597468809/?type=3&theater

Using a tripod, Melicharova photographs herself in her wedding dress and veil, standing in front of different landmarks around the world. It's like she's gone from being married to a human to being married to tourism.

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.963004483721987.1073741829.956751184347317/974261522596283/?type=3&theater

In every picture, she's seen from behind, which creates an air of mystery around her photos (except for her rear end, which has now been in enough photographs that it can no longer be considered mysterious in any way, shape, or form).

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=968618346508693&set=pb.100000816093209.-2207520000.1455738492.&type=3&theater

See, she does have a face, but just like Sia, she chooses not to always show it.

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.963004483721987.1073741829.956751184347317/977072682315167/?type=3&theater

In an interview with The Daily Mail, she said that mystery isn't her goal; she's met lots of people during her travels. Some people are interested in her equipment or dress, others are curious about the project as a whole, and some are men who've proposed marriage, although it's quite clear she's already committed—to ADVENTURE.

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.963004483721987.1073741829.956751184347317/983819681640467/?type=3&theater

But Melicharova hasn't written off romantic love altogether. As she told The Daily Mail, "I'm the priority and I'm not looking for someone to marry, but maybe I will meet someone, or someone is waiting for me, who knows?"

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.963004483721987.1073741829.956751184347317/991357644220004/?type=3&theater

She explained that she wears the wedding dress to symbolize new beginnings, and hopes to inspire other people from broken marriages to "embrace life and fulfill their potential."

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.963004483721987.1073741829.956751184347317/1009084169114018/?type=3&theater

So far she's traveled to India, Thailand, Nepal, Myanmar, Singapore, Turkey, and Malaysia, among other places.

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.963004483721987.1073741829.956751184347317/1013649988657436/?type=3&theater

She shares her self-portraits on her Facebook page, The Travelling Bride. (Yes, with two "L"s.)

https://www.facebook.com/TravellingBride/photos/a.963004483721987.1073741829.956751184347317/1020662141289554/?type=3&theater

And in case you were wondering, yes, she takes all the pictures herself.

↧

Watch this woman's infected tattoo erupt with a biblical flood of pus.

February 17, 2016, 12:05 pm

≫ Next: This baker will turn your break-up quotes into desserts so you can eat your feelings.

≪ Previous: This woman left an unhappy marriage to travel the world photographing herself in her wedding dress.

If you make it through more than 30 seconds of this extremely, extremely, extremely graphic video—congratulations, your diet starts now. Mirror claims the viral footage resulted from an infected tattoo, but of course videos on the Internet aren't always credible. It might be faked, but that feeling of disgust deep in your gut will be very real.

Again, WARNING, graphic content:

Is the doctor using a cup to catch the discharge? Is that a doctor? You'll never know, because no one's watching that video twice to figure it out.

↧

This baker will turn your break-up quotes into desserts so you can eat your feelings.

February 17, 2016, 12:07 pm

≫ Next: The grisly stories of the utterly forgotten musicians who won Best New Artist at the Grammys.

≪ Previous: Watch this woman's infected tattoo erupt with a biblical flood of pus.

"Eat Your Heart Out" is a project by Brooklyn-based designer Isabella Giancarlo that turns real phrases from breakup conversations into yummy-looking cakes and other sweet treats. Anyone can submit a quote they remember from a breakup and have it turned into something delicious, but here are some of the best (i.e. most devastating) so far.