"Horse in a suit." It's a phrase that just sounds right, like "free pizza" or "the Kardashians are taking a break from social media." But despite how proper the idea of a horse in a suit is, there have been far too few horses in suits in this world...until now. To promote the tweed-filled Cheltenham Festival horse race, online betting company William Hill paid for a horse to get a dope-ass tweed suit designed by former Alexander McQueen apprentice Emma Sandham-King. So, yes, this horse is better dressed than you will ever be. 

Now this horse just needs a seersucker number, and he can be looking posh all year round.  

Tom Hanks, known for being wacky on Twitter, was walking down the street when he saw a lone sock, and wondered who could be so footloose as to just leave a sock on the sidewalk. Steve Martin, mostly known these days for slaying on the banjo, can also Twitter with the best of them. What resulted between them was two celebrities acting like they're not celebrities, but rather two dudes who know each other on Twitter.

And then Martin socked it to him:

Hanks has yet to reply, but is probably pondering the next move, wondering how Martin got the best of him.

As of press time, no one other than Martin has claimed the lost sock from Hanks. Except literally everyone else on Twitter.

Kanye West was awkwardly milling around looking for his Uber, as one does, when he moved onto option number two for his ride: the paparazzi. Specifically, paparazzi from X17. Or as he endearingly calls them, the "pops." The guys from X17 filmed the entire thing, because that's their job. The cameraman did, however, stop recording when Kanye kindly asked him to, because all these guys were that civil about everything. The video also includes some incredibly mundane footage of Kim Kardashian driving around at the end, which goes to show that being a paparazzo is probably the most boring job ever. Be grateful for those good pictures the pops suffer for.

"I don't want to give any political opinions," Kanye noted. This is so unlike the Kanye the world knows and loves (to watch meltdown).

Today in boobs-and-politics news, reality TV star and human renovation project Courtney Stodden endorsed Sen. Bernie Sanders to be the next president of the United States. This, even though political stats guy Nate Silver says that isn't likely to occur—because Courtney Stodden has never feared what Nate Silver thinks! Here's how Stodden chose to do this:

Stodden is famous for marrying a 50-year-old man when she was 16, starring in the VH1 show Couples Therapy, and releasing a "solo sex" tape. Her vote counts as much as yours.

Former First Lady Laura Bush spoke on the panel for Politico's Women Rule event on Tuesday, and had some interesting things to say about xenophobia, although it's unclear if she's referring to the type displayed at a Donald Trump rally or otherwise. Here's Bush's quote, according to Politico:

We go through these periods where we’re xenophobic and we’re just gonna stay home and we’re gonna be on our own and we’re doing fine and to hell with the rest of the world, and we might be going through a little bit of that right now.

So, just like deciding to wear layered polo shirts with popped collars or declaring yourself "emo," the country is just in the middle of a distasteful phase according to Laura Bush. She did clarify that "it's not smart policy for the United States, and it certainly is not a policy of everyone in the United States."

America has certainly survived some terrible periods before. Remember the slavery period? Or the period when we didn't allow women to vote? Or the Heidi Montag period?

Like a misbehaving toddler or a middle schooler wearing a skinny tie with a Green Day tee-shirt, it seems that America still has a lot of growing up to do.

On Tuesday, actress Gal Gadot appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live to talk about her role as Wonder Woman in the upcoming Batman v Superman. They discussed Kimmel's cameo being cut from the movie, and Gadot's costume. Apparently, the more modern-looking costume was too much of a departure from the comic books for some diehard nerds. Nerds, it turns out, have had a lot to say about her costume and what fills it, and that's when things unintentionally resembled a segment from Inside Amy Schumer:

Obviously, Ms. Gadot is very intelligent (and speaking in a second, or let's face it, probably third language), and Kimmel is caught off guard by the breasts question—but compare this to a satirical Amy Schumer sketch from last year mocking late night talk show interviews of pretty women (and is specifically about comic book movies and nerds):

Thankfully, Gadot's interview did not end like the Schumer sketch.

Related: Tina Fey, Amy Schumer, and Patricia Arquette celebrate Julia Louis-Dreyfus's last f*ckable day.

It turns out that Not All Men in Montreal are as nice as your average Canadian, or as sensitive and liberal as Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. A hilarious ad recently seen on the "talent gigs" section of Craiglist in Montreal called for "White Men Needed to Play Devil's Advocate," with a hilarious breakdown of the position's responsibilities and requisite skills.

So basically, they're looking for this dude from Season 7, Episode 9 of Parks and Recreation:

The Craiglist post does a good job satirizing the nature of Men's Rights Activists: eager to interrupt, unaware of how privileged they are, and profoundly disinterested in other perspectives.

Here's the TL;DR, also courtesy of Parks and Rec:

A middle school teacher in New Orleans used Beyoncé's song Formation to teach her 7th grade students geometry, and it's set the Internet on fire like a bag full of hot sauce. Ciera Paul, or as she will now be known, "The Coolest Teacher Ever", rewrote the lyrics of Beyoncé's anthem to help her students remember how to find the circumference of a circle, find area, and remember the degrees of different angles. The students rose to their feet as they sang "Geometry matters down in Louisiana" and "I bring A's home in my bag. Swag." It's a great example of creative teaching and how enthusiastic kids can be about learning if you find the right angle.

Paul posted this message on her Facebook alongside the video:

My students love to make beats and dance so I decided to teach them Geometry with a song. Of course my girls love Beyonce so I knew they would be on board. I was excited to see that my boys were just as invested.They can find the circumference and area of any circle :-).#7thgrademath #MsPaul #RCAAmiddleschool #NewOrleans #ReNewSchools

Swag indeed. The whole class joined in to sing the "remixed lyrics" in English and, partially, in Spanish. According to the video, the class came up with the choreography that accompanied Paul's lyrics. A day after the initial video was posted, Paul returned to Facebook with this message:

Thank you to everyone for all of the love on the video. I really really appreciate it. I was trying to reply to all of you who shared it but I just can't keep up.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am proud to show some students from New Orleans in such a positive light.

‪#‎educationmatters‬

This certainly inspires me to be even more creative as I continue my journey as a teacher.

Thank you all so much!!!!

What is the biggest take away from this musical math lesson?  Beyoncé > common core.

Bachelor and comedian Sy Thomas experienced the dark side of digital matchmaking after he created an online dating profile where he pretended to be a woman. In a video about the experiment, Thomas expressed that he initially wanted to discover "techniques" from men who were "trying to woo" the female version of him online. Mucho props to this dude who probably thought there were real gentlemen out there in the online dating world.

After throwing on a wig and donning a sleek ensemble in his profile pic, Sy transformed into Simone. He shared the results in the video below:

“Receiving so many messages was certainly an initial ego boost,” Thomas said in an interview with Mashable. The comedian also said that he never encountered any messages this explicit or corny in his own online dating experience as the real Sy.

“I’d heard from a lot of female friends about ‘dick pics’ and creepy messages, but as it was something that I’d never experienced in my own online dating experience it was a real eye-opener," Thomas expressed.

In just three days, his alter ego received over 400 messages from men. The messages he received ranged from corny to sexual to painfully unoriginal:

Anyone with a noggin knows that those pick-up lines just won’t work. “I just can’t understand how men can think it’s a good idea, or what they expect to achieve by it,” Thomas said.

Next time, Thomas should definitely heed some of these clever comebacks by folks who also failed to find love online.

In December, a wild cougar got caught in a trap meant for bobcats and coyotes in Utah's Pine Valley Mountains, and according to KUTV, the animal was not pleased with his rescue. Two conservation officers had the extreme displeasure of freeing the caught cougar, who looked like he wanted to rip both the guys' heads off the entire time. Using "catch pulls" and protecting themselves with gloves (because that would save them from a cougar attack?), the two men were able to set the cougar free and avoid harm. It only took a few tries, a blanket, and surely a few buckets of sweat. 

"I think it's a lot more humane and a lot safer option than sedation," said Mark Ekins, one of the men who aided the cougar. Hm, something about the cougar's demeanor suggests he may have enjoyed taking a nap during that process. But the professional must know best.

On her third day of training, 20-year-old waitress Akua Agyemfra claims she was sent home from her job at Jack Astor’s Bar and Grill in Toronto because she rocked her hair in a bun. More specifically, because her natural hair wouldn't go "down" after she released it from the bun. Despite how awkward all of this could have been, everyone at all levels of authority reflected on the situation and gave thoughtful, productive responses.

According to CBC News, a supervisor told Agyemfra that she needed to comply with Jack Astor's policy of waitresses wearing their hair down. She seemingly respected her supervisor's wish and released her hair from the bun.

Agyemfra let the supervisor know that her hair naturally “doesn’t go down." She said that her supervisor understood. Agyemfra added that the supervisor "realized I couldn’t wear my hair like that during a shift, that it looked ridiculous. She was really nice about it."

Instead of this blowing up into an international incident about how Jack Astor's policy is unfair to women without European or Asian hair, everyone took it seriously and tried to fix it. The national marketing manager for Jack Astor’s, Kathryn Long, expressed to CBC that waitresses aren't limited to wearing their hair down at work and can rock any hairdo they desire. See? It turns out that the supervisor who sent Agyemfra home was the one who actually needed training. Long also said the company is now looking over their policy.

Agyemfra used her time in the spotlight to advocate a more rational policy. “You should have your hair however you want, that’s my only problem (with what happened),” Agyemfra said. “I feel your hair should be up in a restaurant. It’s more classy and more professional.” Not to mention, it's probably the more sanitary thing to do. Plus, women who's hair isn't down by default would have to spend extra time treating it to comply with policy.

Here's Agyemfra's statement to the CBC:

I know most black women at restaurants are forced to wear wigs or weaves or extensions, or are forced to straighten their hair everyday. Don’t get me wrong, I think extensions look great. I’ve been wearing them ever since I was a little girl. I love when I get my braids. It’s the protective style I choose and works for me. But why am I scrutinized when I decide to to take them out? That’s not fair. I’m not going to compromise my roots and edges because my employer wants me to. My scalp has a right to breathe just as much as the woman standing beside me. With that said, I know white women who only wear their hair up because their natural hair is too annoying to deal with. It’s much easier for them to straighten their hair or comply with the 'straight hair' rule at restaurants. Unless your hair is permed, rarely does a black women’s hair stay down when it’s straightened. It may stay laid for a few hours but that style is only temporary. I just want equality. If a women (sic), white or black, is more comfortable with their hair up, I don’t understand why it’s such an issue at a restaurant setting.

Other than the restaurant policy, it also appears as if the reason the supervisor asked her to wear her hair down was due to other waitresses allegedly complaining that Agyemfra got to wear her hair in a bun while they couldn't. "It kinda sucked," she said. 

Those waitresses certainly need a tip from these food servers who would probably care less about the hair bizness and focus on what's actually important.

There are lots of negative and unfair generalizations about the Irish, but one stereotype that doesn't involve excessive drinking is the idea that Irish people are uncommonly lucky. According to Mental Floss, the stereotype derives from an outsized number of Irish-Americans hitting jackpot in the California gold rush. It's still very odd, of course, that Irish people are thought of as lucky, considering, you know, the entire history of Ireland. Here are people who are much luckier. Some of them might even be drinking green beer today, which is as good as Irish, right?

1. This guy, who lost his wedding ring in the ocean only to find it days later.

Jay Bradford, 27, was fishing off the coast of Long Branch, NJ, on December 12 when his "hand hit the bow rail, and the ring came up off my knuckle," he told People. "The ring slid off, hit the tow rail and went into the water." 

His new wife, Meagan Bradford, wasn't too happy about this. "He texted me and said his day was going wrong. I said, 'Don't worry you will find the fish,'" Meagan Bradford said. "He texted me back, 'It's not the fishing, I lost my ring in the water.' I nearly threw up."

Luckily, Bradford had gone fishing for blackfish, which tend to be found in solid formations on the sea floor such as reefs, wrecks, rocks, and piers. Four days later, Bradford used GPS tracking to return to the spot where he lost the ring. He found the band in 10 minutes—it was resting against a rock. 

He lost the ring while going fishing off the coast of New Jersey, so he's lucky the ring wasn't resting against a body.

2. The reporter who narrowly missed getting hit by a car on air.

Scarier than a slowdown on I-95.

3. This cyclist, who was scheduled to be on both doomed 2014 Malaysia Airlines flights before backing out at the last minute.

According to a Netherlands public broadcaster RTV Oost, Maarten de Jonge was scheduled to be on both Malaysia Airlines Flight MH 17 and the still missing flight MH 370. In both cases de Jonge ended up changing his flight at the last minute.

In a statement on his website De Jonge, 29, confirmed he had been scheduled to take the doomed flight on Thursday but ended up changing his ticket for another flight this weekend.

"What has happened is terrible, so many victims, that's a horrible thing," de Jonge said in a translated statement on his website. "I have my story done and I would like to leave it ... my story is ultimately nothing compared to the misery in which so many people are paid."

 With his luck, he could probably find that missing plane.

4. This woman, who won the lottery four times, getting millions each time.

For years, people who dream of beating the lottery have puzzled over the amazing case of Joan Ginther, who made headlines around the world by scratching off “10MILL” on a $50 instant ticket in June 2010 to win her fourth multimillion-dollar prize. 

Skeptics wondered if she cheated or had an ingenious system for pinpointing winners. After all, Ginther received a Ph.D. from Stanford and has lived for years in Las Vegas. News reports at the time, citing mathematicians, fueled the fire: They put Ginther's chances of four such wins at 1 in 18 septillion. Remarkably, all four of her winners were purchased in or near her tiny hometown of Bishop, Texas.

The mystery has only deepened since then because Ginther, now 67, has steadfastly refused to grant interviews, and the Texas Lottery has never investigated, insisting they never even asked Ginther how she won.

She may have used math, but still: pretty damn lucky.

5. This woman who escaped from the hit men hired to kill her in time to attend her own funeral.

Holy f*ck.

6. This lady on Deal or No Deal.

Okay, this is a stupid game show, but try to watch this without freaking out. Even when she "loses," she wins.

7. This guy, who wasn't even hurt when a giant pane of glass fell inches from his head.

Awww sheet.

8. This horse in a suit.

He gets to be a horse in a suit.

As U.K. treasury chief George Osborne revealed the country's budget in an annual speech to parliament on Wednesday, he scored cheers on what he clearly envisioned as a winning moment—but those cheers quickly turned to criticism when people took to Twitter. 

"The independent statistics confirm that since 2010 child poverty is down," said Osborne. "Pensioner poverty is down; inequality is down; and the gender pay gap has never been smaller."

Uh-oh: "never been smaller?"

The fact that women are underpaid at all is egregious, which people quickly reminded Osborne of. It seems as if the tone-deaf comment bothered U.K. Twitter more than steeping tea too long, or whatever it is bothers British people. 

And remember, that was supposed to be the speech's good news. Not the British government's most inspiring work. Right, Winston Churchill? Or, you know, whoever the Brits like.

In this Improv Everywhere prank, people riding the subway run into their future selves, who have come in a time machine to give them a dire warning. Cool, right? Except, in reality, the whole thing is just a bunch of twins. F*cking twins—ya can't trust 'em. "We staged the scene five times total, all on the N train [in New York City]," wrote Charlie Todd, the founder of Improv Everywhere, in a blog post. "We took a break in between each staging so the crowd on the car would turn over."

"Unlike other subway pranks that might get an entire car involved, this one was hyper-focused on the people who happened to be sitting and standing around our playing space. In most performances, it felt like a surprise for just ten people," Todd continued. "I love creating something so ridiculously elaborate (four pairs of twins, perfectly timed staggered entrances on the train) for the benefit of so few people.  

Never trust what anyone says on a subway car. And especially never trust a twin.

Both Democrats and Republicans have said that they dislike presidential candidate Ted Cruz in a very personal way (see this Samantha Bee bit for more background on that). One reason may be this tic that Gawker discovered, namely that after every sentence Cruz says, his face contorts in a small little smirk. It's like he's always proud of himself for swallowing that booger.

 Thankfully, his great policies make up for all of this!

Do you know where your children are right now? Do you know if they're out on the street? And, most importantly, do you know if they're being challenged to a rap battle? And, if so, do they have the freestyle skills to go up against, say, a few men in their late teens or early 20s who roll up in a van?

If you live in central Massachusetts, it might be time to have The Rap Talk with your kids. WMUR reported on Tuesday that "Police in central Massachusetts are warning residents to be on the lookout for men who may be challenging passersby to a rap battle." The incident that spurred the warning featured three men in a van rolling up on some young teenage boys in the town of Charlton. WMUR noted:

One of the men -- described as having brown hair and a pale complexion, wearing a gray T-shirt, gray pants and open-toed sandals -- got out of the vehicle and started rapping while the other men asked the boys if they wanted to "spit some bars" with them.

Thankfully, the police do not believe that the men were trying to abduct the teens, but simply to rap with them.

Teach your children how to be safe. Teach your children how to freestyle rap. It's the right thing to do.