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Article 11


Chloë Grace Moretz posts topless photo after giving Kim Kardashian grief for doing the same thing.

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Yesterday Chloë Grace Moretz posted a topless selfie on Instagram taken by her boyfriend Brooklyn Beckham.​Here it is:

Laguna (photo credit @brooklynbeckham)

A photo posted by Chloe Grace Moretz (@chloegmoretz) on

A celeb posting a semi-nude selfie is nothing to write home about in 2016. Except that, as you may remember, Chloë ​had some words for Kim Kardashian when Kim posted a (granted, slightly more nude) semi-nude selfie last year.

In case you forgot:

When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

At the time, Moretz tweeted:

Later in an interview with Glamour, Moretz blamed the debacle on jet-lag, but stood behind her original statement. "I had just gotten off a plane from South Korea, I was incredibly jet-lagged, and I couldn't take one more thing," she said. "I saw that photo, and I had to say something."

And that wasn't all the young actress had to say. She continued:

That picture wasn't linked to body confidence. It wasn't a #BodyConfidence or #LoveWhoYouAre. It was done in a slightly voyeuristic light, which I felt was a little inappropriate for young women to see.

In the War of the Topless Selfies, who will strike next? All eyes on Kim's twitter account. She's not one to take shade, or hypocrisy, lying down.

Pregnant woman stages prank photoshoot to capture husband's teary reaction to the news.

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Bri Dow knew her husband Brandon's reaction to her pregnancy would be priceless, so she conspired a fun way to get it on film. Bri recruited photographer Samantha Boos to help capture the surprise, telling Brandon that they had simply won a free couples photoshoot. Boos gave them each chalkboards, telling them to write "three words that describe each other." While Brandon followed the instructions, Bri used more than three words to tell him something even better.

Here's hoping this becomes a viral phenom more couples do: Husbands Cry When They Find Out Their Wives Are Pregnant (the sequel to Groom Cries When He Sees The Bride For The First Time).

Article 8

Dad creates gorgeous toast sculptures for daughter who can't eat anything else.

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Food can be boring for kids who suffer from severe allergies. It can be even harder for their parents to come up with fun ways to get them to eat. But one dad is turning boring food into art... literally.

Adam Perry felt bad for his daughter who suffers from severe allergies. Her breakfasts basically consist of toast with coconut oil. Sigh. He told ABC7:

I started to feel really sorry for her that her breakfast was so boring every day, the same old two slices of white toast. So I started playing with toast to get her excited about her breakfast again and to make both the girls laugh when they came down to eat.

Each one of Perry's toast creations is made out of two pieces of toast.

He started the Instagram account @2slicesoftoast just for fun, but said:

It's just a bit of fun, but when people comment and say it's brightened their day, somehow it feels great, so I'm going to keep going and see where the toast takes me! I need suggestions though, so if anyone has any, please send them to me and I'll try to build them!

You guys got any suggestions? We vote for Diane Keaton toast. Just think of the hat!

Mel Gibson's ex spoke his name in public, and it cost her $500,000.

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Oksana Grigorieva will only receive $250,000 of a $750,000 settlement from Mel Gibson due to the domestic abuse claims she made in an interview on The Howard Stern Show in 2013, according to court documents released on Thursday. She went to the authorities in 2010 and said the actor had punched her, as well as threatened her and their daughter with a gun. Gibson had originally agreed to pay a custody settlement of $15 million—if Grigorieva vowed not to release damning audio of him screaming at her and saying terrible things.

Grigorieva and Gibson in 2010.

But she then released recordings of an enraged and threatening Gibson anyway. That brought her settlement from $15 million down to $750,000, with the stipulation that she not publicly discuss her relationship with Gibson. She may have hoped to receive more money from press outlets for the tapes and interviews when she settled, and now she only gets a percentage of that.

Article 5

'Futurama' voice actor gives Trump quotes the performance they've always deserved.

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Billy West, the guy who did a bunch of voices for Futurama, got back in the sound booth this week to bring his blowhard space captain, Zapp Brannigan, back to life. But instead of using the hilariously narcissistic dialogue originally created by Futurama's team of Harvard writers, West used actual Trump quotes.

The match of character to sentiment is perfect, as is the coinciding hashtag #MakeAmericaBrannigan.

If any of these sound too cartoonish to be truly Trump, the date and time of each quote are posted on each gif, so go ahead and fact check to your heart's content.


Confused Canadian called the whole race thinking Lochte was Phelps.

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Canadian sportscaster Elliotte Friedman accidentally confused Ryan Lochte for Michael Phelps during Phelps's record-setting 200m IM, winning Phelps his 22nd Olympic gold medal. Friedman's reaction?

First watch the major flub.

Poor guy. But like, don't all swimmers look alike underwater?

To his credit, he recognized his mistake and owned it.

And the internet is giving him love, a first for basically anybody on the internet.

Phelps reaction? None yet, but who cares, he's won 22 Olympic gold medals!

You can now turn your breast milk into beautiful jewelry.

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If you're a new mom, you might be wondering if there's a fashionable way to preserve the precious memories of breastfeeding your tiny newborn baby. Well, now you can turn your breast milk into fun, wearable accessories. No, we're not kidding.

Ann Marie Sharoupium, an entrepreneur from New Jersey, has started a company Mamma's Liquid Love. Women can send Ann Marie some of their actual breast milk, and she'll use it to create jewelry they can wear. This is taking personalized jewelry to a whole new level. Here are a few of Ann Marie's creations:

A mamma sent this to me today and it completely made my day :)

Posted by Mamma's liquid love on Saturday, March 26, 2016

Now available mammasliquidlove.com

Posted by Mamma's liquid love on Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Newest addition :)

Posted by Mamma's liquid love on Saturday, February 27, 2016

While the jewelry is lovely, it's understandable that some people might not be so keen on the idea of wearing their own "liquid." But for those who want to remember their nursing days with something more tangible than a photo, wearing a pendant full of your own breast milk around your neck is certainly one way to go.

Out of office

Here are the most and least stressed cities in the US in case you're stressed enough to move.

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Feeling stressed? You're not alone. An estimated 100 million Americans are in the same boat as you. But we've got a solution for you: MOVE!

And now you can do so well-armed with information: WalletHub.com compared a bunch of cities and listed out the most- and least-stressed ones. So grab the boxes and call the movers, because you're about to find your inner namaste.

(AUTHORS NOTE:Trying to understand WalletHub's methodology was about as easy as following an IKEA self-install bed directions. So we reached out to WalletHub for confirmation, because we legit, yo!)

First the most stressed out cities in the United States...

1. Detroit, Michigan

Detroit is the city with the highest poverty rate and is rated the city with the lowest credit scores in the United States, in addition to a number of other not-so-great-news rankings. But hey, they'll always have Motown.

2. Mobile, Alabama

3. Birmingham, Alabama

4. Memphis, Tennessee

5. Cleveland, Ohio

And now for where you're moving to. The least stressed cities in the United States...

1. Fremont, California

Fremont, just outside San Francisco, consistently ranks within the top five cities with the highest credit score, lowest poverty rate, lowest divorce rate, etc. It's basically like living in a Nancy Meyers movie.

2. Irvine, California

3. Honolulu, Hawaii

4. Madison, Wisconsin

5. San Jose, California

So basically to be the least stressed, you've got to have a lot of money and live near water. Happy moving!

Here are the side hustles Olympians use to fund their dreams.

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There are 555 athletes on the 2016 US Olympic Team but only a select few get their pictures plastered on a Wheaties Box. Without product endorsements, it's pretty impossible to make it financially as an Olympian, especially in the lesser known sports like trampoline, race walking, badminton, and horse dancing (all real events, btw.) Here are 11 world class athletes and the current day jobs that make their Olympic dreams a reality, or at the very least, that they fall back on when sponsorship money dries up. Prepare to be exhausted.

Better start training now for Tokyo 2020.

1. Boxer Nico Hernandez works as a lube tech at his father's trucking company.

Will he still work on trucks now that he's won a bronze in Rio for Team USA?

2. Track and field gold medalist Kerron Clement is a model, actor, and appeared in a Beyonce video.

Who run the world? This guy.

Beyonce video extra is not a bad side gig:

Let's all appreciate these modeling skills too.

|🔥 SKIN 🔥 | #thristtrap 🙈

A photo posted by @kerronclement on


3. Steve Kasprzykis an Olympic rower and a chemical engineer.

Overachiever.

4. Shot-putter Michelle Carter is a makeup artist.

Looking good, Shot Diva.

Oh and by the way she just became the first US woman to win the GOLD MEDAL for shot put. What a bad ass!


5. Bronze winner Alex Naddour is an Olympic gymnast and a licensed realtor in Arizona.

This is the face he makes anytime someone says, "Escrow."


6. Race walker John Nunn owns and operates a gourmet cookie business with this daughter.

Walking fast and baking cookies? This is the kind of athlete I can look up to.

7. Cyclist Mara Abbott teaches yoga.

Nama$te.

8. Olympic marathon runner Jared Ward teaches statistics at BYU.

Statistically speaking, this guy rules.

9. Gwen Jorgensen competes in Olympic triathlons and is a certified tax accountant.

She can set up your 401k, then run/bike/swim one.

10. Bronze winning fencer MilesChamley-Watson is a model for Ralph Lauren.

Yep, he's a model, can't you tell?

Ok, seriously here's the model specimen under the bee-keepers mask:

11. Swimmer Michael Phelps is a beach umbrella salesman.

JK he's a bajillionaire with 23 gold medals.

But he is good at throwing shade.

Seasonal

There's nothing to hate about Katherine Heigl looking great with her baby bump.

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After announcing her pregnancy earlier this summer, Katherine Heigl debuted her baby bump on the red carpet this week. She looks happy, stunning, and unperturbed by Seth Rogen recently bringing up that whole Knocked Up feud from eight years ago. Maybe because she has a real life pregnancy to focus her energy on, and this time she doesn't have to play the part of the nagging, uptight girlfriend. ;)

Heigl, 37, attended the CBS, CW, Showtime Summer TCA Party in West Hollywood on Wednesday in a stunning knee-length white dress and posed for pictures alongside husband, singer Josh Kelley.

Aww.

See? Nothing to hate here.

This will be Heigl and Kelley's third child. They are also parents to daughters Naleigh, 7, and Adalaide, 4, whom they adopted.

Way to my girls hearts! Family ice cream night!

A photo posted by Katherine Heigl (@katherineheigl) on

Congrats to Heigl, her growing family, and her ability to put silly feuds in the past and move on. Love her or hate her, you have to admit she seems like she's doing just fine.


Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte shared a bro-mantic pasta dinner before their race.

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Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte have been through four Olympic Games together now, so it's not surprising that they've developed a bit of a bromance over the years.

Keeping a friendship alive when you're busy winning an absurd amount of Olympic medals isn't easy, but Ryan and Michael still find the time to sneak in a bro date here and there. On Thursday, Lochte posted a photo to his Instagram account of he and Phelps sharing a lovely pasta dinner before their 200m IM race.

One last time! #USA #longjourney #12years

A photo posted by Ryanlochte (@ryanlochte) on

Phelps also shared this selfie last week, when Lochte celebrated his 32nd birthday in Rio.

Happy bday @ryanlochte !!! The old dudes on the team now!!! #rio #usa🇺🇸

A photo posted by Michael Phelps (@m_phelps00) on

How cute are they? These guys are winners in swimming and in friendship.

Man opens porta-potty and finds something that stinks in the best way.

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On Wednesday, a man in Rogue River, Oregon, opened a porta potty in a public park and discovered a monster stash of marijuana plants. There's lots of sticky and icky things you can find in a porta potty, but this was the biggest stash of sticky-icky that the Rogue River police have ever seen. Oregon is one of four states where recreational marijuana is legal, and legal adults are permitted to grow their own plants.

Here's the stash:

Well, at least there's paper in there.

The police think the plants may have been ripped out by a disgruntled neighbor, or someone that's not fond of its new legality in Oregon. The plants did not have any buds, so they could not be used to smoke. Instead, they got shredded:

No weed should receive the Fargo treatment.

And now it's mulch:

Literal dirt weed.

If a disgruntled person put this in a porty potty near a park to alarm the neighborhood, it failed. Because the Rogue River police seem to think it's pretty funny: they referred to the case on Facebook as "The Fresh Connection."

Seth Rogen pranked a grocery store to show that food has feelings.

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To promote the new penis-pun-based picture Sausage Party, Seth Rogen brought real (and real creepy) animatronic food to a New York supermarket to scare the crap out of shoppers and teach them a thing or two about food's feelings. Getting to hide behind a cantaloupe and other food, Rogen roasted shoppers, meeting Colonel Sanders and showing some dudes what a real big sausage looks like.

People mostly reacted like the sausages themselves.

The funniest and sweetest reactions to Simone Biles and Aly Raisman being adorable.

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The friendship between everyone on the "Final Five" women's Olympic gymnastics team is wonderful, but the friendship between the two best gymnasts in the world, Simone Biles and Aly Raisman, is especially wonderful. Biles took gold and and Raisman took silver in the women's all-around competition on Thursday, and they immediately were adorable about it.

Ahhh! So cute! Here are the best reactions to the pair.

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College professors describe 13 of the worst papers they've ever had to grade.

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Remember all the garbage you shoveled together in an attempt to turn in a research paper? Well someone has to read those piles of hot sewer refuse, and those people are our teachers! They read every word, and after years of teaching, they shared on Reddit 13 of the worst of the worst, best, funniest, most offensive bits writing they've ever had to mark up with red pens.

1. lacks-direction was forced to read about one student's preoccupation with "chubbies."

I once had a student who said the biggest issue facing obese (male) children is that they have small penises. Not ONE of the issues, but the BIGGEST issue. I suppose the risk of diabetes, heart disease, and the potential for issues with confidence and bullying pale in comparison to small genitalia in pre-pubescent males.

2. RPShep was one professor not impressed by the latest edition of Rolling Stone.

Writing Professor here.

I had a student who was doing pretty poorly in my class. He just wasn't showing up and wasn't doing the work. I asked him to come to my office one day and told him that it wasn't mathematically possible to pass the class anymore. He said okay but that he wanted to stay in the class so he'd be better next time I around. I said that was fine, and he showed up for the next couple classes.

For the final paper, I was having them analyze a pop culture text: basically, they had to break down and explain a movie, an album, a TV show, or something like that. This student handed me in an album review cut and pasted directly from Rolling Stone's website. Not a single word was even changed. So I asked him to come to my office again after class. I told him that not only did I find the original article that this was plagiarized from, but it also would have failed even if I hadn't (because it had nothing to do with the assignment). I told him that now his F was an XF (failure for academic dishonesty). He started crying and told me he was "just trying to impress me."

3. pickmetoo had a student who was religion blind.

A sophomore girl wrote an entire 8 page paper on the use of color in early Islamic architecture except there was one problem - all of her examples were Buddhist temples located in east Asia

4. windstrider13 had a student who never busted a sweat.

I was teaching a college business writing class, and the end assignment was a formal report (11-13 pages) on a topic currently affecting businesses.

This student was the class clown, and he kinda panicked when he couldn't think of a topic. So, we discussed it in class, and we finally came up with a topic for him.

The student turned in a four-page report. One of the pages was a dispatch copied directly from the local transit authority discussing traffic conditions on a local highway. It had no bearing on the topic.

The report also contained this immortal line: "While the rest of the world is rightly concerned with this problem, America has not yet busted a sweat."

I made a copy of the paper since I suspected that he would challenge his failing grade for the class. He did. I handed out copies of this paper to the review board, and his challenge failed.

5. Honeythorn_Gump found that two wrongs don't make a write.

Actual professor here. I've taught a bunch of different classes that required essays. My favorites include a paper on Taoism, which was completely blank. It would have been cute had a dozen students not tried that before. I get it, but you still have to write the damn paper.

The worst was in a composition class where a student asked for special permission to write her paper on her culture. I agreed, mostly so I would get to read something not on the same boring five topics I was forced to assign. The student turns in the rough draft and the paper is literally a copy/paste from a tourism website, so I turn the student in for a plagiarism violation (after trying to reach out to the student multiple times).

Guess what the student turns in for the final? The exact. Same. Paper. That's two plagiarism violations in one term in case anyone is counting. Needless to say, the student was given a zero in my course and most likely expelled from the university.

6. neGlory had a student who expected everyone to read between the lines.

I teach IB in high school. The kids can earn college credit before graduating. The end of year exams are basically papers that need to be written in front of a proctor. As the proctor ended the examination, he said "now strike a line through anything you don't want the moderators to read and mark." This fucking kid proceeds to draw a line through every word he wrote.

7. stargazerAMDG had an orientation student who couldn't find north with a compass.

TA chiming in here.

I TA'd for those pointless Orientation courses people had to take their first semester in undergrad. That class was set up to be an easy A, to give them confidence and introduce them to how things work at the college: grading, policy, and how to just survive undergrad. Students were given simple assignments like a two page autobiography and one page reflections on the topics we were discussing in class.

For their autobiography, I had one student give me something that was barely a half page of incoherent rabble. Some typos were so bad it looked like they typed by smashing their face into the keyboard. Another student turned in a reflection paper that was supposed to be on a current political issue either nationally or globally. The paper was instead on their favorite sport, which they misspelled. I had another student that decided to not turn in any of the papers he had to do until the day after the semester ended. I looked at only one of those papers. It looked like he threw words on the page an hour before he sent them to me. That paper along with the rest of them immediately went into the trash.

8. sodiumtree hates any paper that sounds like it belongs in a nature documentary.

Worst was easily the essay on Columbia the university instead of Colombia the country.

All essays opening with, "Since the dawn of time humans have..." or similar such universals

9. iamdonovan failed to see the geographical significance of Chili.

Definitely the one where the student copied and pasted several paragraphs from Wikipedia without bothering to change the formatting of the hyperlinks before printing it off.

On the same assignment, I had another student who spelled the country Chile as the food, Chili, and whose only references were a couple of links to google maps.

10. HeyWassupBaby described how one student 'bated his teachers.

Some guy from my university did a presentation on the fappening. I wish i was there to see the faces of the Prof and TA.

11. CranberryTaboo had one student who was "kind of a dick."

Another TA here. I was grading a students paper regarding "The Tales of the Heike" and while it was a fine enough paper in content, it was incredibly informal. I can't remember the line verbatim but the one that took the cake was "readers can agree that Morinaga was kind of a dick." I was pretty shocked, lmao. Regardless, the student did fairly well. It may not have been the worst I've ever graded, but it makes for a good story.

12. Recursive_Jokester read the "unhappyest" paper on earth.

Professor at a Research I university here. One was a junior undergrad who wrote a professional statement paper (intended to be read by potential employers) about how she wanted to be a Disney princess. I would put her writing on par with a typical 7th grader: "I think that Disney is a great company. They do good things for alot of people. It is important to have happy people in Disney, and I am the happyest!!" She went into great detail about how pretty and talented she was, and how working in costume at Disney would be a dream come true. Her degree program had nothing to do with the theater or entertainment in any way. She just wanted to be a princess. I didn't have the heart to tell her that a 5'4'overweight brunette with a hygiene problem and an...um...below average level of facial attractiveness probably wasn't going to be cast as Ariel. To her credit, she did eventually achieve her dream. She applied at Disney after failing out of our program, and now works as a costumed barmaid of some sort in Epcot. I believe she is as happy as she has ever been there, and am glad for her.

13. And finally, Taillevent, who needed a moment to take stalk.

I once had a student in a first-year course write a paper about "human beans."

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