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Australian man throws "esky" full of water on reporter.

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"What a world, what a world!" (via YouTube)

Police found a grenade inside this man's house, so reporter Alex Bernhardt came by to find out why.

Thanks to this YouTube video uploaded by TonyCentral, originally posted by LiveLeak, we can watch the man defend his privacy by dousing her with "an esky" full of water.

My first question is, what the hell is an esky?

It's an Australian term for a cooler. 

Second question is, hahahah-ha ha ha ha ha!!!

You have to give her credit for trying, though, especially considering he is a grenade owner who looks like Gomer Pyle from Full Metal Jacket.

Instead of answers, the only thing Gomer was willing to offer was a face full of water, a shrug, and the explanation that he "smokes a little dope."

Maybe Dorothy smokes a little dope, too.

(by Myka Fox)


Americans enjoying the World Cup is driving Ann Coulter Crazy. USA! USA! ETC!

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Troooooooooooll!(via)

If I wasn't already onboard the Team USA World Cup bandwagon, I would've booked a seat this morning after learning that America's sudden interest in soccer is making Ann Coulter angry. I don't even like the game that much, but knowing that Americans liking soccer has made the long list of things that Ann has a problem with, I feel like painting my face, biting my own shoulder and flopping on my couch while chanting "USA!" 

The blonde bomb threat wrote an article for the Clarion-Ledger (next to an image of her that should be nominated for a Golden Brush at the next Photoshop Awards) in which she claims that “Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.” 

Which explains why a team of Americans performing well on the world stage has pushed Ann to the point of Googling “Americans+Hate+Soccer” and trotting out the same arguments that people have been making about the sport for years.

But Ann's not a sports writer, she's a button pusher. And that button is attached to a machine that spews out bizarre, hate-filled rants about liberals, the New York Times and foreigners, so she also wrote things like this:

• "The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyoncé and Hillary Clinton."

• "The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare."

• "Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European."

• "If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time."

Ann says that she’s been holding her tongue about soccer for a decade “so as not to offend anyone,” which is kind of funny, considering that she’s made a career out of offending anyone without the belief system of a WWII-era cartoon character.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Congress's dumbest member is also its lamest photobomber.

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"Are we talking about terrorist anchor-babies? No? I'll come back later."

Many people already know that Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) of Nagadoches, TX, is the House of Representatives' leading member on issues related to sounding like a dumb-dumb on camera. Among his dumber moments are the times he called for the repeal of the right of people to vote for Senators, the time he advocated for politicians to carry guns on the floor of Congress, the time he told a Christian pastor that he was wrong about Christianity during a House panel, the time he blamed the Boston bombings on Mexican Islamic terrorists, the time...well, just go look. There's a lot. But did you know that he's also very involved with looking like a dumb-dumb on camera?

That is not the face of a man who thinks he's being funny on camera. That is the face of a man who is legitimately clueless as to the mechanics of how cameras and television works. In fact, that's really the face of a meerkat who is very curious about what humans are doing with those big black boxes with glass on the end.

That's not even the first time he's done it this week.

Louie Gohmert, everyone. Living proof that if you give your kid a dumb name like Louie Gohmert, he will grow up into someone who acts like a Louie Gohmert.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Unhumble opinion.

Robert DeNiro crashed a complete stranger's World Cup party in Brooklyn.

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"There are three ways of doing things around here: the right way,
the wrong way and crashin' a party."
(via Getty Images)

As unlikely as it is that a 70-year-old widower would become a fashion intern, it is still more likely than Robert DeNiro would show up unexpectedly at your Brooklyn home to watch the US vs. Germany World Cup game. But that's exactly what happened. 

An unnamed resident of Cobble Hill, Brooklyn told Business Insider that a nearby apartment complex received an email from Warner Bros. in an attempt to accommodate DeNiro's desire to take a break from filming The Intern to watch the game.

"Our lead actor, Robert DeNiro, would very much like to watch the World Cup game, today at 12p," the email reads. "Would it be possible to place a small portable satellite on the building rooftop ASAP and run a cable to the street to help facilitate this request?"

But before there was a chance to assemble temporary sky communications, DeNiro handled things himself. The neighbor who reached out to Business Insider said that one of the apartment residents talked to the crew, and that DeNiro had found another house where people were watching the game. So he just joined them. 

I don't have cable, either. If anyone is willing to let me just join you at your World Cup parties, let me know. I've seen Goodfellas a bunch of times. 

(by Myka Fox)

The head coach of the U.S. soccer team wrote you a note to get you out of work today.

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I am a very funny coach, ya? (via Getty)

All eyes will be on today's World Cup match between the U.S. and Germany, and America's head coach, Jurgen Klinsmann, needs you to get out there and day-drink in support of the team you've been rooting for for two weeks now. He's gone ahead and provided this completely legit note to hand over to your "cool boss" before losing your job hitting the sports bar.

Klinsman knows that if Americans are going to embrace the sport the way it's embraced in Europe, we need to start adopting more continental customs, like using any excuse to blow off our jobs and do some drinking in the middle of the workday. Come on, American fans. If we do this today, it could be the first step towards having 18 weeks of a vacation per year! Don't blow this.

(by Bob Powers)

A woman got trapped in her bedroom by her cats, and she livetweeted the whole ordeal.

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Apparently, this is a thing that can happen.

Claire Berlinski is an "American novelist, freelance journalist, travel writer and biographer" currently living in Paris, France. That sounds very romantic, in an Ernest Hemingway-Gertrude Stein kind of way, doesn't it? 

A couple days ago, she got trapped in her bedroom when her pet cats (one of which can be seen here on her website's biography page) somehow or other "knocked the handle off [her] bedroom door," leaving her unable to escape for several hours. That's decidedly less romantic, in a your crazy aunt to whom things are always happening kind of way.

Luckily, Ms. Berlinski had the Internet, so she was able to document the whole frustrating ordeal in 140-characters-or-less chunks. The results were brilliant:

Apparently, the door was considerably more well-made then the handle. Probably outsourced to some Italians.

Insanity has yet to set in. This, however, is only the beginning.

Is this the first sign of some fraying nerves?

Yes, definitely some fraying nerves.

But just when things seem their darkest, there is a glimmer of the coming dawn...

Take note of that excitement. It won't last.

Apparently, locksmiths are really expensive in Paris. Maybe people being imprisoned by their pets is a somewhat common occurrence over there.

Pierre de Fermat was a French mathematician. This witticism checks out, mes amis.

Then, just as suddenly as the nightmare started, it drew to an end:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of pernicious pets, it was the age of lackadaisical locksmiths, it was the epoch of frustrating boredom, it was the epoch of sudden Internet stardom.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

USA! USA! USA!


Someone finally invented a way for you to have sex with your iPad.

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Say hello to your new mail order girlfriend.

First of all, you all totally know what a Fleshlight is, so I won't be explaining that here. And if you don't know, you really have no business reading this post anyway. Come on. Please don't make me do it. I already had to explain a bouncy house made of giant boobs yesterday. Ugh! Okay, real quick: When a daddy loves a thing that looks kind of like a donut lightsaber very much, he unzips his— Nope! Never mind. Just read about it here, if you really need to.

The important thing is that the company that makes the Fleshlight just announced a new a product called the Fleshlight LaunchPad. Essentially, it's a case for your tablet with a space designed for you to jam a Fleshlight into it so that you can... Well, so that you can make your iPad pregnant, so to speak. Take a look:

I think it's adorable that they're pretending that this is designed to help you "come together" with your girlfriend or wife or whatever. So that you can "come together." I mean, I guess you could use it for that. But you won't be. Not a chance.

Though, I guess it would have been a much sadder commercial if it just showed some guy scrolling through Pornhub and listlessly eating Cheetos for 45 minutes while he's supposed to be working on his resume.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

The most insane roommate ads ever posted on Craigslist.

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"Yeah I had fun in college, except for that year I was a live-in sex slave for Gandalf."(Via)

Looking for a roommate is every young person's rite of passage, and like most rites this one often ends in bloodshed. Searching the ads you learn all about the human condition and its propensity for veganism, nudism, and in-home compost heaps. These immensely entertaining ads represent the full spectrum of strange, scary and delightfully insane characters encountered during the typical Craigslist roommate search.


Does the other wife also have to be a "state fitness winner"? Or just a medalist? (Via) 


Not bad, but how much "walking around" is required. Sexy dudes can be lazy too.(Via)


Count the exclamation points. That's how many times per week this guy will accuse you of leaving a dish in the sink.(Via)


Updated 5/27/14:


I may let you pay for shelter with prostitution, but I draw the line at parties! 


Okay, that's a nice living room. Maybe staring at balls all day is worth it?


Yoga, vegan, fine. Why'd you have to bring "hugs" into it?!


"Curvy" woman for cleaning? At least the "barter for sex" guy was up front about it. 


Doesn't Craigslist have a "no astrological discrimination" policy?

Updated 4/24/14:


Nothing like a roommate whose primary demand is "care for me." (Via)


It pays to read the entire ad before setting up an appointment.

 


It can be assumed a prerequisite it you have to murder the existing neighbor.(Via)

 


So wait. Loving dirt and kidnapped sex partners is cool? Got it.

 


Craiglist would free up a lot of space if they just had a separate "Sex Slave Wanted" section.

 

Updated 3/26/14:


Just don't start the dialogue with, "So what are you wearing?"

 


You better like him. It's really hard to move out in the middle of the ocean.

 


Hi. Please help me fulfill my dream of having live-in threesomes. I can offer shelter.

 


So if I move in, is that thing in the corner up for grabs?

 


It's bi day today. Do bisexual people date or do they jump straight into moving in together?

 



It might be worth moving in with this couple just to watch their relationship disintegrate.

 

Updated 2/27/14:


Sorry, but if you ingest dairy, no live-in threesome situation for you!

 


You get a nice room, and every once in a while you have to carry the pumpkin.

 


Why's "taking a shit" a part of it? Nudism and poop don't go hand-in-hand.

 



That's how you write a nudist ad. Touching makes sense. Doesn't say a word about poop.

 


Stay away. Based on 'House Of Cards,' government-workers are all murdering psychopaths.

 

Updated 1/28/14:


This couple really knows how to cut to the chase. (Via)

 


Watch over a terrified young person 24/7 and you live rent free!

 



You had me at the nazi tattoo on your arm.
(Via)

 


Just a tip, 420 really helps ease people into the "walking around nude" thing.

 

Updated 10/3/13:


Amenities include use of the anti-bacterial footbath.

 



There was one misprint in the ad. Not sure how "no sex" got in there. Damn typos.

 



I just require the incomparable cooking and cleaning skills or a stripper or escort.

 


Have sex with me and you could have days of shelter. Days!

 


I'm really horny and need a ride to the airport. Thanks.

 



Go with this guy. He's the only one who's actually interested in you living.

 

Updated 9/3/13:


Okay, but I get to be the big spoon.

 


She already evicted me!

 



Define "basic cuddling." Does that include nose nuzzling? I draw the line at nose nuzzling.



"Mature" means you can't make fart sounds every time you see his bare ass.

 


So it's either rape or murder but you can't do both. Don't be a greedy roommate!

 

 


I don't know. I saw a hole in Brooklyn for only $525.

 

Updated 8/2/13:


Wow, a two-bedroom!

 


But if the dog and cat are fixed, no worries about cross-species breeding with my gator!

 


Expect a lot of responses from people convinced they're the ones who'll make you happy.

 


I just get along better with women in the sex industry. Sorrrrrr-REE!

 



An apartment above a garage on a golf course? Feet don't fail me now!

 

Updated 7/2/13:


Baby's busy covering your "conditions." Ask your meth head friends to do a quick revision.

 


What kind of woman would go for this?!

 


There she is. How can we connect these two?

 


If the two above got this guy as a landlord, the entire living arrangement would be sexualized!

 


Cats okay ever since we realized we have no way of keeping them out.

Updated 6/5/13:



How cool is this place? They even have their own super-soakers!

 


Bet this dump will be super-soaker free.

 


You being hot is payment enough...until I raise the rent with a demand for sex.

 


I hate people who have a bunch of hangups. Oh and also, NO GAYS!!!

 



Actually, screw the room rental. Just let me and my husband have sex with you, cool?

 



Pretty sure this is a parody, but it has a important message: Never, ever live with a hippie.

Updated 5/2/13:


And he does mean "lady!" Mannered, highborn asians to cook and clean and live in a basement, only! 

 



We can't see the downside. For you. For us, this is awful.

 


The orange one ate the last roommate.

 


"lol" = Loser Online.

 



At least this ad's upfront about the cats. And the old women.

 


Nerd Manor awaits you.

Updated 4/2/13:


Our day-to-day hairstyle would best be described as "dandruffy."

 


You can't just adopt a big dog? Or lure a drunk stranger home with you?

 



 Except if you're a Judo guy and he's into Jujitsu, it'll never work.

 


Drive me to the airport. Pick up my laundry. Hourly nude fast-dancing. You know, "favors."

 



Great idea, but you'll still get the crazies. It's not the ad, there just isn't anyone else on Craigslist.

 

Updated 2/12/13:


Your handwritten "No Girls Allowed" sign will look great above the entranceway.

 



At $500 a month your wife can afford to leave out some bras and panties for Travis.

 



Oh and I'm saving water so we'll have to share showers too. Cool?

 


Blonde dye jobs need not apply. HE WILL NOT SHARE ACCOMMODATIONS WITH LIARS!

 


Unless he's shaved, don't eat that breakfast, roomie.

 

Updated 10/16/12:


What if we prefer a Caps-Lock-Free living space?

 



If you hold the belt for our autoerotic asphyxiation sessions, it's a deal.

 


Don't laugh. Our Dad and Mom fell in love when she answered his "Used Chevy For Sale And Let's Get Married" ad.

 



Better headline would be "Severely Malfunctioning Humanoid Seeks No One." 

 



No go. We did some stuff when we were three that we don't wanna remember. Suffice to say, it involved Weeble Wobbles.

 


Define "sexy." Also, this being Craigslist, define "women."

 

Updated 8/27/12:

 

 

 

 

< CLICK IMAGE TO SEE FULL AD >

 

Updated 7/10/12:

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Updated 5/1/12:

 

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Updated 2/9/12:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted 8/26/11:

<CLICK IMAGE TO SEE THE FULL AD>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birthday wish.

Children wielding vibrating dildos star in this gun safety PSA.

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"This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun." 

This gun safety PSA from Evolve is kid tested, mother approved. The message is simple: it is embarrassing when kids touch your dildos, so keep your guns locked up.

Don't worry, no one gets shot in the face.

Look out for the next one where the kids stick an actual gun in a fleshlight

(by Myka Fox)

Man loses 'Jeopardy' with the most charming wrong answer ever.

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I'll take 'Grown-Up Rapscallions' for $800.

After playing a pretty good game of Jeopardy, LA-based comedy writer Ari Voukydis realized he had no idea what the answer to the Final Jeopardy question was. He'll get to keep his day job, at least, because his response was adorably perfect.

Full disclosure: I know Ari Voukydis. I like Ari Voukydis. He is actually this charming and nice, in addition to being a very funny guy. Unfortunately, he is not Swedish industrialist Alfred Nobel.

(by Johnny McNulty)

This is what it could be like if famous actors were Batman.

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Can't wait until Adam Sandler gets a chance to ruin the franchise in 2023.

Internet trolls rejoice! Animation Domination High-Def has gotten the "who will be playing Batman" issue locked up for the next few years with their animated short, "Future Batmen." No need to argue over who did it worst, just sit back, relax, and agree they would all be worst.

I do not enjoy surprises, but I do enjoy a jowly cartoon Kevin Spacey Batman.

(by Myka Fox)

This Austrian strongman somehow pulled a 300K-pound Boeing 777 airplane nearly 50 feet.

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Taxiing to Gate WTF.

Professional strongman Franz “The Austrian Rock” Mullner is really just like me and you. He wakes up in the morning, puts on his pants, eats his breakfast, and then heads off to work where he pulls a 300,000-pound Boeing 777 commercial airplane 47.6 feet across the tarmac using only the strength of his freakishly powerful muscles.

Well, he's not like all of us. Not everyone eats breakfast in the morning.

Really, really impressive! That said, he's gonna have to go a bit faster than that if he wants that thing to gain any lift. 

Good start, though! 

(by Dennis DiClaudio)


Man cheers on goat doing 40km/hr workout.

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Great, now I can't stop hearing the "Rocky" theme comprised entirely of "Baah" sounds.

Gary the Goat is a beast, as well as somewhat of a YouTube phenomenon. You don't get that way without practice, however, and Gary is no slouch in that department. He's such a badass that one has to wonder whether he was the basis for the most insane video game of the year, Goat Simulator.

It's always good to have someone cheering you on, though, which is where Gary's buddy, comedy partner, and traveling companion Jimbo comes in (he's the guy with the slight Australian accent who is yelling the whole time). 

If you want to know more about Gary and Jimbo, check out this sort-of documentary:

They seem to understand each other so well. I guess you could say that Jimbo really gets his goat.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Hey dude, your dick's out.

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Take it all in, if you can. (via Sowetan)

Jordan Ayew's donk. There it is, out donking around. 

That's Portugal's William Carvalho pulling the shorts from his Ghanan competitor, and maybe doing a little nipple tweaking, too. 

Special thanks to the cameraman for going in for a close-up like Ayew was about to kick from his third leg. 

Great work looking at this guy's dick, everybody!

(by Myka Fox)

Shia LaBeouf has completely lost it, chasing homeless people and getting arrested in a Broadway show.

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"OK sir, now you can tell me who the f*** you are."

Shia LaBeouf is no stranger to being in the headlines for bizarre and obnoxious behavior. He's been caught plagiarizing, caught plagiarizing his apology for plagiarizing, headbutting strangers, and of course there's his whole paper bag mask thing. Even considering all that, yesterday may mark the moment where he tipped all the way over the edge.


Ah, New York. Where people on their way to work calmly ignore celebrities chasing bums.
(via TMZ)

First, he was spotted chasing a homeless man around and arguing about a hat. Apparently, Shia believed the hat was his. An onlooker told TMZ that the star seemed "whacked out" and incoherent. He also kept repeating "It's me, Shia" to the homeless dude, as if his immense popularity among the nation's indigent population would convince the man to hand over the hat. Even if it was your hat, Shia, you're a rich man. He's a homeless man. Let it slide. I don't think it was your hat, though, because you're crazy.

Later yesterday evening, Shia decided to take in a show, and attended a performance of Cabaret, starring Alan Cumming and Michelle Williams at Studio 54. During the performance, LaBeouf reportedly smoked cigarettes, grabbed actor's butts as they walked by the audience, and then stood up and started yelling at the actors on stage. You don't have to be a Broadway regular to know that this is kind of rude.

LaBeouf with police outside the Late Show with David Letterman studio, near Studio 54.

No horrible public behavior by a Hollywood star would be complete, however, without the perpetrator asking whether or not people knew who he was, and Shia did not disappoint. When police came to remove him from the theater, he dutifully replied "F**k you. This is f**king bullsh*t. Do you know my life? Do you know who the f**k I am? Do you know who I am?" Finally, LaBeouf closed his show by doing pushups for everyone while waiting in line at the Midtown North Precinct police station.

Sounds like last night was a great opportunity to catch two shows on Broadway for the price of one.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Not proud.

Hillary Clinton used as a spokeswoman for cheating on the most ironic billboard ever.

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Shhhh.... don't tell anyone I got Monica to go down on me, too. (via Fox 32 Chicago)

It's an ad in Chicago for "Ashley Madison." You know, that website you go on to cheat on your spouse, or to catch your spouse cheating, depending.

Sure, they got some tepid word-play out of the name of Hillary's book, Hard Choices (what do they mean, "harder?" "Harder" as in it is harder to keep your husband faithful than it is to make decisions about Benghazi? Or "harder" as in the turgidity of a penis that’s about to mouth fuck an intern?), but she’s the worst choice for a website that promotes cheating. She was the victim in one of the most famous cheating scandals of all time, it’s like using Seabiscuit to promote glue.

I guess they are trying to appeal to women and get them to the site, but Hillary is a case-making study in standing by your man. At best, her use in this ad is as a cautionary warning: might as well fool around on your husband, 'cuz he's already doing it.

They should have gone with the hero of the story, Bill, or with Monica for the eye candy. (If POTUS thinks she’s hot, she’s hot. Case closed.)

Ashley Madison’s CEO Noel Biderman defended his billboard via a Skype interview with Fox 32, saying, "it's not an easy choice. People, women in particular, don't come to affairs lightly."

...but Hillary didn't have the affair, that was Bill, dum-dum.

"They try and explore alternatives within their relationship," Biderman justifies. "For many, its a last effort before separation."

Now there's your ad slogan: "Hurry up and cheat before your inevitable divorce."

(by Myka Fox)

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