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Guy who had Kit Kat stolen from his car gets 6,500 replacements from Hershey's.

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Crime doesn't pay, but going viral sure does.

Recently, Kansas State student Hunter Jobbins was dismayed to find that someone had gotten into his unlocked car to steal a Kit Kat bar he'd been saving for later. The thief left a hilarious apology that quickly went viral on Twitter.

Not a company to take this flood of free publicity for granted, the Hershey Company reached out through Kit Kat's account and vowed to set things right.

What they didn't mention is that by "replace," they meant "stuff your car with 6,500 Kit Kats for a photo-op and so you can drive around campus giving away our product." Yep, everybody wins here. Especially people who love chocolate.

As for the identity of the thief, well, that's still a mystery. But we have a feeling he or she got a bonus Kit Kat out of Jobbins' Camry this week.


We're just a little bit worried about these people who love 'chicken scissor salad.'

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Social media has taught us a lot about ourselves—including things we'd probably rather not know. For example, some people seem to love "chicken scissor salad."

Joining the ranks of linguistic missteps like the substitution of "colon" for "cologne" or "Super Bowel" for "Super Bowl," the "scissor salad"/"Caesar salad" confusion is somehow way funnier and far more mind-boggling. And, as with so much online, it's often unclear if people are fooling around when they type it.

Undoubtedly, some people are in on the joke and simply perpetuating it.

What we do know for sure is that Googling "scissor salad" gives us the results for "Caesar salad," so it's a common enough mistake that it's accounted for in search algorithms. That's not great news, but it may be better than some alternatives...

Again, no need to fear for the future of the written word: a lot of these people are just goofing. And both malapropisms are easily explained—one could use scissors to cut up the salad ingredients, or shake them up in a bowl as if having a seizure. Sure, restaurateur Caesar Cardini is said to have invented the dish in the 1920s, but that was a hundred years ago. The future belongs to scissors and seizures!

Harvard cancels season for men's soccer team over their annual 'sex ratings' of female players.

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Newsflash: Elite universities are as rife with sexism as any other college.

Harvard this week took the unusual step of prematurely ending the season for their men's soccer team—currently first place in the Ivy League—following the revelation that members had for years produced an annual "scouting report" that ranked incoming freshman players on the women's team according to their looks and sex appeal. The Harvard Crimsonbroke the story in late October, having obtained one such document circulated by the men's team over email in 2012:

In lewd terms, the author of the report individually evaluated each female recruit, assigning them numerical scores and writing paragraph-long assessments of the women. The document also included photographs of each woman, most of which, the author wrote, were culled from Facebook or the Internet.

The author of the “report” often included sexually explicit descriptions of the women. He wrote of one woman that “she looks like the kind of girl who both likes to dominate, and likes to be dominated.”

The author also speculated on each woman's level of sexual experience, assigned each a sex position, and mocked several women's appearance. The email thread also alluded to a previous year's "scouting report," seeming to confirm its status as a team tradition: According to one teammate, the assumption that one player “was both the hottest and the most STD ridden was confirmed.”

Robert Scalise, Director of Athletics at Harvard, condemned the practice and Thursday sent an email explaining the decision to forfeit all remaining games:

As we move forward, Harvard Athletics will partner with the office of sexual assault prevention and response and other Harvard College resources to take additional steps to further educate the members of our men’s soccer team, and all of our student athletes, about the seriousness of these behaviors and the general standard of respect and conduct that is expected.

Six of the women appraised in the men's team's secret ratings system in 2012 together penned an op-ed for the Crimson, seeking to dispel anonymity and reclaim their voices from media outlets that would carve them into sound bites.

In all, we do not pity ourselves, nor do we ache most because of the personal nature of this attack. More than anything, we are frustrated that this is a reality that all women have faced in the past and will continue to face throughout their lives. We feel hopeless because men who are supposed to be our brothers degrade us like this. We are appalled that female athletes who are told to feel empowered and proud of their abilities are so regularly reduced to a physical appearance. We are distraught that mothers having daughters almost a half century after getting equal rights have to worry about men's entitlement to bodies that aren't theirs. We are concerned for the future, because we know that the only way we can truly move past this culture is for the very men who perpetrate it to stop it in its tracks.

Having considered members of this team our close friends for the past four years, we are beyond hurt to realize these individuals could encourage, silently observe, or participate in this kind of behavior, and for more than four years have neglected to apologize until this week.

The Harvard women's soccer team beat Columbia University by a score of 2-1 on Saturday, with a golden goal in double overtime, winning the Ivy League title.

Watch Bill Murray and Dana Carvey's surprise appearances on 'SNL.'

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On the last episode of Saturday Night Live before Election Day, Weekend Update brought back alumni Bill Murray and Dana Carvey for surprise appearances. Carvey donned that famous grey wig and turned back into the Church Lady, who hasn't changed a bit. And Murray was there with Chicago Cubs players Anthony Rizzo, David Ross, and Dexter Fowley, to (what else?) revel some more in the Cubs first World Series win in 17,000 years.

Church Lady talked to Weekend Update anchor Colin Joust for a bit about the upcoming election ("Well, we have a tough choice on Tuesday, don’t we, Colin? Do we vote for a bitter female android from the ’90s or a riverboat gambler with a big tummy and an orange head?”) before revealing that the only thing in the world she's currently enjoying (much like mostly everyone else) is HBO's robot sex show, Westworld.

Lest anyone had already forgotten, SNL was happy to remind people that the New York Chicago Cubs won the World Series in the final game on November 2, by having them and Cubbie superfan Bill Murray do what they do best—sing.

Nagging reminder.

'SNL' tries to figure out why Benedict Cumberbatch is hot.

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Saturday night's episode of SNL struggled to find roles in which the ridiculously charming British actor Benedict Cumberbatch (currently promoting Doctor Strange) could really shine, but the fake (but totally plausible) game show, Why Is Benedict Cumberbatch Hot? gave him a chance to shine (in his sweet, self-deprecating way). In the sketch, host Beck Bennett asks co-star contestants Vanessa Bayer, Aidy Bryant, and Cumberbatch himself why everyone is so taken with this undeniably weird looking English dude, explaining, "Every girl on the cast has been so horny for this dude all week. So as a guy, I’m just kind of trying to figure that out."

The answers included some pretty funny facial expressions from Bryant and Cumberbatch's own admission that he really has no idea, since he thinks he looks like Sid the Sloth from Ice Age. But, as he points out, it doesn't really matter what people think of his looks, since Glamour named him one of the sexiest men alive.

Sexy stripper Benedict Cumberbatch grinds on a dead grandma on 'SNL.'

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Among the SNL sketches people will be talking about this week is this one featuring host Benedict Cumberbatch and Mikey Day as male strippers who surprise a bride-to-be grandmaso much at her bachelorette party that she actually dies from shock. See, this is why you don't throw old people surprise parties.

Probably the funniest part of this sketch, aside from Cumberbatch's man-bun wig, is watching Aidy Bryant's head, donned in novelty sunglasses, bounce between Cumberbatch and Day's crotches. Dreams really can come true.

Workplace


Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner were spotted kissing, so that's apparently a thing now.

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This may come as upsetting news to all those Jonas/Lovato'shippers out there, but this weekend DNCE frontman Joe Jonas was spotted out at the MTV European Music Awards (EMAs) in Rotterdam with Game of Thrones' Sophie Turner.

They were kissing, too, nbd.

Observations: 1) there are a lot of empty seats there, no? and 2) imagine trying to just kiss somebody on a date and there's some random person taking pictures of you with their phone. But still, that's the relationship between celebrities and fans.

According to (disgraced British tabloid) The Sun, a source said,

They were with Joe’s bandmates at the concert but they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. He was getting very touchy feely with her in the VIP bar before the show, then kissed her and had his arms wrapped around her while the band were on. Neither of them cared who saw. They looked like they had plenty to chat about and the other DNCE members seemed to get on with her really well.

Looks like it's on!

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John Oliver admits he might be responsible for Trump's candidacy.

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As we enter the final days of an election cycle that could only be compared to getting 100-consecutive root canals, many of us are looking back and wondering how the hell we got here. What made Donald Trump finally decide to run after the entire country treated his presidential aspirations as a complete joke for years? It might be because of Last Week Tonight host John Oliver.

Your fav is problematic.

In a clip from a 2013 episode of The Daily Show, during which Oliver stood in for Jon Stewart, Oliver practically begs Trump to run, thinking that the mere prospect of Trump's campaign would be a real knee-slapper. Oliver takes responsibility for this mess starting at 4:16.

"DO IT. Do it! Look at me! Do it!" says Oliver, while staring directly into camera. "I will personally write you a campaign check now, on behalf of this country, which does not want you to be president but which badly wants you to run."

Be careful what you wish for.

So the guy who said that "the Chicago Cubs will never, ever win the world series," and who dared Trump to run for President also believes that America will ultimately elect Hillary Clinton? DO NOT JINX THIS FOR US, JOHN.

Barack Obama mercilessly mocks Donald Trump for having his Twitter confiscated.

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On Sunday, the New York Timespublished a story that included a remarkable detail: Donald Trump's aides had "finally wrested away" his Twitter account.

A major contender for President of the United States had his internet privileges revoked by his staff like a grounded teenager.

Nor was this irony lost on the actual president, who used it to mercilessly mock Trump at a campaign rally on Sunday in Florida.

"This was just announced, I just read it so I can't confirm it's true but apparently his campaign has taken away his Twitter," said Obama to scandalized disbelief from the crowd.

"In the last two days, they had so little confidence in his self control, they said we're just gonna take away your Twitter. Now, if somebody can't handle a Twitter account," said the president to more laughter, "they can't handle the nuclear codes."

"If someone starts tweeting at three in the morning 'cause SNL made fun of you, then you can't handle the nuclear codes."

Watch for Obama's thumbs moving across an imaginary phone in the clip above. This campaign has unearthed a whole lot of comedy chops from everyone.

Blac Chyna posts nude throwback pic to remind herself she wasn't always pregnant.

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Blac Chyna may not have reached her goal of gaining 100 pounds during her pregnancy, but that doesn't mean she's not still planning on completing the second part of her post-pregnancy body plan, which was "snapping back" into pre-pregnancy shape. On Sunday night, Rob Kardashian's fianceé posted a nude Instagram of herself from before she got pregnant with her second child (her first with Kardashian), along with the caption, "Soon."

Soon 😎

A photo posted by Blac Chyna (@blacchyna) on

The caption ostensibly means that soon she will go back to being a much smaller, lighter person, without that tiny human hogging up all the space in her midsection. Or maybe she just means soon she'll be naked again. Probably the first thing, though.

Checking on our baby girl 👶🏽! Never knew I'd be so happy about gaining 72lbs !

A photo posted by Blac Chyna (@blacchyna) on

Chyna has one other child, 4-year-old King Cairo, who she had with her ex, rapper Tyga (who, incidentally, is Kardashian's half-sister Kylie Jenner's boyfriend. I know, it's like a Shakespearean play with this family).

Brad Pitt filed for joint custody but Angelina Jolie was like, 'lol no.'

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According to legal documents filed on Friday, Brad Pitt is seeking joint custody of his six children with his ex, Angelina Jolie. But according to TMZ, Jolie is having none of that.

This isn't going to be pretty.

TMZ reports that a source close to Jolie said that she will fight for full custody of their kids until Brad "gets his sh*t together." In the meantime, Jolie is open to "monitored visits" until her estranged husband can sort out his alleged anger and substance abuse issues. She is currently seeking sole physical custody of the entire Brangelina brood. The two are now looking at an impending custody battle that is almost guaranteed to get very messy.

Brad Pitt has been undergoing scrupulous investigations in connections to child abuse allegations. The couple currently have a temporary custody agreement while the Department of Children and Family Services look into allegations that a drunk Brad Pitt lashed out physically at his oldest son, Maddox, while on his private jet on September 14th. Jolie filed for divorce the next day.


Trump's Twitter was taken away. Here are the funniest reactions he can't respond to.

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A profile published by the New York Times on Sunday revealed that, with only a few days to go until the election, Donald Trump's top aides decided it was best to take away his access to Twitter. Maybe because Trump saying insane stuff to thousands of people at a rally is still better than him tweeting those same insane words to the millions of people who follow him on Twitter (and everyone else who can read). Here are 11 of the funniest reactions to Trump no longer be able to rant at 3 a.m. about made up things like former Miss Universes having sex tapes.

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5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. FBI Director James Comey, because he managed to make everyone hate him in under a week.

Poor Comey. For a guy who seemingly makes all his decisions based on what will protect his reputation and that of the Bureau, he's managed to tank both in under seven days. He's like a one-man WikiLeaks.

Except he has way better hair than Assange.

After throwing the presidential election into chaos last week by releasing a vague announcement that the FBI had found more emails that might pertain to the investigation of Hillary Clinton, Comey went public again on Sunday (going public, by the way, is the opposite of his job) to announce that the new emails were officially No Big Deal. He cleared Clinton's name once again.

What a roller coaster ride for her. And 69-year-old women hate roller coasters.

Now, everyone in Washington is furious at him. The Democrats hate him because he released the first letter, the Republicans hate him because he released the second, the Libertarians hate him because they're just generally angry… he's in a lot of trouble. And the FBI is in a state of civil war internally, with many avid Trump supporters wanting Comey's head for not handing their candidate the presidency on a platter. (Trump only eats off platters.)

So no matter who wins the election tomorrow, at least Comey doesn't have to worry about it. He's already lost.


4. Brad Pitt, because Angelina Jolie shot down his joint custody proposal.

But they'll always share the royalties from Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

The Brangelina breakup is extremely ugly—ironic, considering that it concerns two of the most beautiful people in the world. Last Friday, Brad Pitt filed documents seeking joint custody of his six children with Angelina Jolie. But sources tell TMZ that Jolie was like, "Nah."

Specifically, the source said that Jolie won't grant Pitt joint custody until he "gets his sh*t together." What does that mean? Controlling his anger problem? Giving up weed? Or just "his sh*t" in general? Also, if Brad Pitt doesn't have his sh*t together, I'm in deep trouble.


3. Donald Trump, because he lost his Twitter privileges.

If Donald Trump has seem more restrained and presidential in the past week, you have his campaign staff to thank. After months of pleading, they were finally able to convince him to hand over his Twitter password. For once, only approved campaign messages are being distributed from his account, instead of his usual 3a.m. threats, boasts, and insane ramblings. Coupled with the Comey letter mentioned above, this has enabled him to climb back from a campaign in freefall. Now his chances of becoming president are only bad.

With Trump off Twitter, Rosie O'Donnell is totally unchecked.

But it must be hard for Trump. Twitter is his favorite outlet, his pride and joy. Being a troll is his true calling. And what's more, once the news that he had lost his account broke, everyone started clowning on him for it. President Obama got big laughs making fun of him during a speech in Florida on Sunday. And millions of people with unlimited access to their own Twitter accounts are mocking him, too.

If there's one thing Trump hates, it's people making fun of him. If there are two things he hates, it's not being able to respond to them. And if there are three, it's Mexicans.


2. James Corden, because the Rolling Stones wouldn't get in his car.

He can't always get what he wants.

James Corden's Carpool Karaoke is the hottest thing in late night. There's apparently something irresistible about seeing entertainment legends singing in a car, and the host's charming cheerfulness doesn't hurt either. But Corden was much less jolly when confronted by TMZ's paparazzi in Los Angeles on Sunday.

They asked him about the rumors that the Rolling Stones had rejected his offer to appear on Carpool Karaoke, and he chose to play dumb. But it's not hard to see he was pissed off.

Are the rumors unfounded? Or did Corden's underlings choose not to tell him about the Rolling Stones debacle? Either way, it doesn't matter—everyone else wants to get in his car. The Stones are just too old to know about YouTube.


1. A burglar who tried to rob a man's house and got an arrow in the butt.

Australians don't mess around. One burglar learned that the hard way on Sunday afternoon when he tried to rob a couple's house in southwest Sydney. He'd filled up the couple's car with cash and personal items and was backing it out of the driveway when he was confronted by the man of the house, holding a compound bow.

Compound bows are a favorite weapon of deer/bear/zombie hunters.

Understandably terrified, the crook jumped out of the car and started running. He hopped a fence and got almost all the way back to his own car. But like a certain unfortunate Game of Thrones character, he didn't think to zag. The homeowner, a trained archer, stood on the home's fence, drew back his bow, and nailed the perp straight in the ass.

Police are investigating an aggravated break and enter in Sydney’s south-west during which the intruder was shot with a...

Posted by NSW Police Force on Sunday, November 6, 2016

Remarkably, the skewered thief was still able to get in his Mazda Tribute and drive off. The New South Wales Police Force posted his description on Facebook to try and track him down. And he shouldn't be hard to find—if you're in the area, just keep an eye out for a blood-stained Mazda Tribute, or a man with an arrow sticking out of his butt. If you see something, say something.

Mariah Carey's insane prenup with James Packer reminds us that love is different for rich people.

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We already knew that Mariah Carey is a bit of a diva (the woman bathes in diamonds, for crying out loud), so I guess it shouldn't come as a total shock that the prenup she was negotiating with her now-ex fianceé and fellow wealthy person, James Packer, was insane.

And apparently the negotiations did not go over well. Upon receiving a draft of the agreement from Packer's exec, Carey's team reportedly dismissed it as "tacky and insulting."

Not how I'd describe it. Let's take a look at some of the provisions, shall we? TMZ reports that these were some of the agreement's conditions:

Except for gifts between them for their engagement, wedding or on birthdays and anniversaries, no item of jewelry and/or personal adornment costing over $250,000 will be deemed a gift unless accompanied by, or promptly followed by, a writing specifically stating "This is my gift to you."

That one must make Valentine's Day fun. "Happy Valentine's Day, honey. Here's a necklace that costs five times more than some people's annual salaries. And as per our prenup, here is the notarized letter confirming that it is, in fact, a gift from me to you." That's fairytale love story material right there.

Let's see here. What other sweeping romantic gestures are in this prenup? Ah, here's one!

James shall provide the use of one private aircraft, of his selection, for Mariah's personal use, or that of her children and nannies only when James, in his sole discretion, determines it is appropriate to do so.

Translation: "I will let you and your bratty kids use one of my 73 private helicopters, but only the one I choose and only when I say it's okay." HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL?!

(Editor's note: 73 is a number the author made up. The amount of private helicopters James Packer actually owns remains unconfirmed.)

Now here's the big one. This was the condition that reportedly caused the biggest fight between our ill-fated lovers:

James will pay Mariah, and Mariah shall accept, $6 million dollars per year for each full year of marriage, up to a maximum of $30 million ... adjusted pro-rata on a weekly basis [$151,385 per week].

Apparently Carey rejected the dollar amount and claimed that Packer agreed to pay her $50 million if their marriage failed.

So this is what love is like for rich people.

Girl saves bizarre selfie, finally whips it out to troll thirsty dude.

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16-year-old Houstonian Reese Hebert was home recently when a boy from her school texted her out of the blue, acting all thirsty and disrespectful. When she told him she was showering, he asked if he could see. (All teenage boys think that line will work.) Instead, she pulled out a selfie she had been saving for just such an occasion, and trolled him so hard the whole internet heard about it.

It's not every day you can crush a boy's hopes while also being goofy. This is pure art. And the Twittersphere agrees. Hebert's tweet has been retweeted more than 3,300 times, and favorited more than 6,3000.

In this day and age, it's more important than ever not to be a creep with people you want to date. You don't just risk offending them—you might end up going viral. Then everyone will know what a little perv you are.

The Mannequin Challenge is the latest viral craze that will remind you how much you don't understand teenagers.

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Kids these days and their wild pastimes. Video games, Snapchat, and now... pretending to be mannequins?

The latest viral phenomenon the kids are into these days is the Mannequin Challenge, a meme that involves:

1. Striking a pose.

2. Playing Rae Sremmurd's "Black Beatles."

3. Holding the pose.

According to CNN, the challenge is believed to have originated at the Edward H. White High School in Jacksonville, Florida, but kids are joining in and raising the stakes.

These kids even thew it down with some planking—a memory of memes past.

The significance of "Black Beatles" remains a mystery, but Swae Lee, a guy who makes up half of Rae Sremmurd, got his entire audience in on the bit.

Professional sports teams have also gotten in on the standing-still action to seem super cool with the kids.

You know, kids, taking a simple photograph is also a way to show that you're capable of standing still. But an elaborate tableau is more fun.

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