Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

Man turns in what he thought was a 'breast implant' to the police. He was wrong.

0
0

Last week, an Australian man found what he believed was a rogue breast implant and turned it into the local police station in Maroochydore, on Queensland's Sunshine Coast. He was concerned it might be evidence of a drowning or even a murder. Luckily he was wrong. The "bagged and tagged circular object" submitted to officers was confirmed, instead, to be a jellyfish. Classic mistake!

"Officers at Maroochydore Station were all hands on deck when, much to their initial alarm, a concerned citizen attended the counter to report a possible homicide," said the police report."Investigations revealed what police suspected… the item was indeed a jellyfish."

Before you blame this dude for his mistake, let's look at a jellyfish and a breast implant and see if you can tell the difference:

Jellyfish or breast implant? (Jellyfish)
Jellyfish or breast implant? (Breast implant)

And here's the item in question:

Jellyfish or breast implant or mochi? (Jellyfish)
Jellyfish or trendy synthetic drug or lunch? (Jellyfish)

Pretty easy mistake to make, right? The main difference is jellyfish have tentacles. But in this case, local water safety official Colin Sparks explained the tentacles must have been "knocked off by wave action or eaten by fish."

Glad this story has a happy ending and no one was hurt. Except for the jellyfish, whose demise remains an unsolved murder mystery.


Justin Bieber feels about Instagram the way we all feel about Justin Bieber.

0
0

Sorry, Beliebers, but Justin Bieber is not planning on going back onto Instagram anytime soon (or maybe ever). At his show Tuesday night in London, Bieber told the audience, "Instagram is for the devil. I think hell is Instagram. I'm like 90 percent sure." This could be the smartest and funniest thing Bieber has ever said (not that the bar was super high to begin with).

He also taunted his fans by letting them know he was still taking pictures—he's just not posting them on Instagram. He tells the crowd sometimes he'll be "layin' by [his] pool, taking Instagram pictures and not uploading them. 'Oh, they would love this one.'"

Since when does this dude have a sense of humor?

Article 7

Ryan Reynolds recalls that time he bombed an audition for the Coen brothers.

0
0

Even hot, famous, rich people have bad days according to hot, famous, rich person Ryan Reynolds. Reynolds sat down with Taraji P. Henson for an exclusive "Actors on Actors" interview and talked about the last audition he went on, which didn't go too well for him.

Ryan Reynolds, Taraji P. Henson on Bad Auditions

Ryan Reynolds tells Taraji P. Henson about his "failed" audition for a Coen brothers movie in this exclusive "Actors on Actors" interview, presented by The Venetian Las Vegas.

Posted by Variety on Monday, November 28, 2016

According to Reynolds, he "auditioned and failed" for the movie made just before Hail, Caesar!, which wasBridge of Spies— directed by and written by the Coen brothers. He definitely didn't get the part.

"In the room, they were just quietly shaking their heads, like, ‘What are you doing here?" recalls Reynolds. "Do you have a SAG card? Or do you have the Canadian version?"

Okay, it probably wasn't even that bad. Besides, Reynolds could just fart on camera for an hour and a half and people would still pay money to see it. Despite bombing, it is likely that Reynolds will be just fine. Like, "blockbuster-draw millionaire with hot wife and booming career" fine. Your loss, Spielberg!

Ellen DeGeneres and Jennifer Aniston play charades the weirdest way possible.

0
0

On Tuesdays's Ellen, host Ellen DeGeneres and not pregnant guest Jennifer Aniston donned huge, puffy "sumo suits" to play a game Ellen dubbed "Sumo Charades." This involved wearing a huge puffy suit (like the one Aniston apparently wears in a scene in her new movie, Office Christmas Party) while trying to mime things like yoga and runway modeling. It's harder than it sounds.

Too bad Aniston didn't recall Hillary Clinton's recent debate shimmy, she could've knocked it out of the sumo park.

Article 4

Proud mom Yolanda Hadid posts throwback pic of her daughters as baby Victoria's Secret angels.

0
0

Real Housewife and powerful gene-haver Yolanda Hadid is proud of her daughters Gigi and Bella Hadid for fulfilling their childhood dreams of becoming underwear models. She posted a pic of them as young angels in honor of Wednesday night's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

Many people were uncomfortable with the photo of the young children, commenting whether or not it is suitable for a mom to share with her 2.1 million followers.

Yolanda jumped into the comments, telling people they should not perceive it as sexual, "but of course everyone has the right to their own opinion."

Like any mom would be, she's very proud of her daughters for fulfilling her their dreams.

❤️Angels on your shoulders...... #Love #Light #Positivity

A photo posted by YOLANDA (@yolanda.hadid) on

Article 2


Tilda Swinton has a very personal reason for disliking Harry Potter.

0
0

Tilda Swinton is not a fan of the Harry Potter books. But it's not because she dislikes magic or wizards or wonderment—she just doesn't like boarding school.

She speaks from experience, having attended London's West Heath boarding school herself. In an interview with The Scots Magazine, the 56-year-old actor and mother of two referred to boarding school as "hell" and described it as "a very lonely and isolating environment." She continued,

That’s why I dislike films like Harry Potter which tend to romanticize such places. I think they are a very cruel setting in which to grow up and I don’t feel children benefit from that type of education. Children need their parents and the love parents can provide.

Okay, this might be true for some, but let's not forget that Harry Potter's parents are dead, and before attending Hogwarts, he was being raised by his mean aunt and her equally mean family. So, for him, boarding school was a welcome change. Also, it's a made up story about wizards, so she might be reading a little too much into the whole thing. She's still pretty wonderful, though.

Article 0

15 people share the best ways they ever weaseled their way out of a speeding ticket.

0
0

At some point, you're going to get a traffic ticket. It's unavoidable. Those citations are expensive, though, and it's only natural to fight hard against having to pay for one's mistakes. But does an excuse, or talking your way out of a ticket, ever actually work? Nah, almost never. Except that it did for these people on Reddit, who miraculously avoided a ticket thanks to their quick and ridiculous thinking.

1. You could try the thing Penandink52 witnessed: claim a cheerleading emergency.

My friend had a theory that if you could make a cop laugh, you can get out of a ticket. I'd watched him do this on three occasions. Once, he was actually going forty miles over the posted limit ( a felony ) and he told the cop that he was trying to get tampons to his girlfriend who was cheering at our high school football away game. (That was the actual truth).

She clocked him going 95 in a 55. Let him off with a warning after some easy chat and a few laughs.

2. Naturally, this guy is on the list at #2.

I once got caught speeding and told the cop how embarrassing it was but I REALLY had to go #2 (which was true). He took my info and said with a little smile "you can go, you'll receive the ticket by mail". It has been 6 months now and still nothing. Did he gracefully change his mind?

3. At least kzgrey only rolled down the window to talk.

I legitimately needed to pee. I rolled down my window and the first thing I said was "can you make this quick because I need to pee really badly". He burst out laughing, walked away for a few seconds and then let me go.

4. User captainawesomevcu saw a coworker lie to a cop so as not to upset another lie.

Coworker of mine was speeding one day on a south bound highway. Told the cop "hey man, I know you got to give me a ticket, but please write out for north bound, or else my wife will think I'm cheating on her." The cop laughed and told him to slow down and let him off.

He was not married, nor was he even seeing anybody.

5. Kailosarkos recommends Jedi mind tricks.

"This is not the car you're looking for." in an Obi-Wan Kenobi impression with the hand wave

The coolest thing I witnessed a friend do that worked and got him out of a speeding ticket. The officer tried hard not to crack then just bent over below the window line where we couldn't see him but could hear him laugh. He then raised himself and said "You have a good day." Then left.

6. -The_Blazer- is best friends with an actual wizard.

a friend was once stopped for a broken headlight. In my country there's a fine for that. He didn't know what to do so he got out of his car (no paranoid police here) and told the officer that the light "does that sometimes" and kicked it. It actually fucking worked, the light turned back on and he was off his way.

7. Johnathon78 is a police officer, and he'll let you off if you're about to get off.

I made my approach, guy rolls down window, I said my speech, he looks me right in the eye and softly says " I was speeding. I'm sorry. But, you see, Im in the military. Just an hour ago I got back from my tour in Iraq. My girlfriend here just picked me up from the airport and to be honest, I was rushing home to my 2 minute welcome home bang session ". Looking in the back seat I seen military style duffel bags, miscellaneous military bdu uniforms, a folded up welcome home banner and his girlfriend in passenger seat gave me this " yea...that's the truth " look. " Have fun " I said and handed him back his license.

8. CardboardSoyuz didn't get a ticket because he'd brought protection.

There was this girl I was seeing the summer before college and she called me saying, "you ought to come over, my parents have gone to the mountains and I want to spend some time with you before we leave for school" -- which would have been a week after that. Okay, awesome! I'm thinking I'm finally going to have sex with this young lady (and, indeed, that I'm finally going to have sex). So I hit the drug store to buy some condoms but am hurrying my ass over there. Anyway, I am going 57 in a 35 going down hill and I see this cop. I knew I was busted before he every put on his lights, so I just pulled over.

Anyway, the cop was nice about it -- I explained that I was off to see my girlfriend about something important -- and he let me off, thanking me for pulling over so carefully. And, then pointing out the box of condoms in a bag that had spilled open on the passenger seat, told me to be careful.

Anyway, off to the girl friend's house... where she broke up with me.

9. Or you could be like the father of LotusCSGO and go to med school and become a prominent anesthesiologist. Boom, no ticket!

My dad was pulled over going way, WAY too fast on the interstate late at night (like 1-2am). He is an anesthesiologist, and got called in to work because someone had been shot. It turned out that the person who had been shot was a cop, and so not only did my dad not receive a ticket, he got a police escort to the hospital and he has refused to tell me exactly how fast they went. Hearing that story as a kid made me think my very by-the-book awkward dad was super cool.

10. Toil_x_Trouble just wanted to get stoned.

I was driving home real fast because I was about to pass a kidney stone and I needed to be home and not driving in order to take my pain meds. Got pulled over, yelled "kidney stones!" at the officer, and he actually escorted me home.

11. This story from ngad22 shows why it's beneficial to learn a second language.

I've seen many of my ex's ways on avoiding tickets and she has avoided many tickets. Her best escape was by faking being mute and fortunately, she knows sign language. Most cops would feel bad ticketing her so they just let her go, while I feel bad for those cops.

12. Unlike the Lord of the Rings movies,this story from bamboozleJOE is very short.

Not a cop but I got out of a ticket on the way to the midnight premier of Lord of the Rings Return of the King. I was dressed as Gandalf and the officer told me to slow down or I shall not pass... we had a laugh and he let me go after giving me a warning. Small town cops are the best.

13. The father of Jades_rainbow is probably going to hell, but hey, no ticket!

My father once got out of a ticket by pretending to be a Catholic priest. He is not Catholic but uses some of the same liturgical dress and is easily mistaken for a priest when wearing a clerical shirt and collar. When he was pulled over for speeding, he made sure the cop saw his collar and his cane. The cop didn't want to give a ticket to a sick priest and just let him go on without a warning. My father replied with "Bless you, my son" and went on his merry way.

14. As SittingInAnAirport proves, there is no currency in this world more valuable than the embarrassment of others.

I was once pulled over for a rolling stop through a stop sign at an otherwise empty intersection. The cop said to me something along the lines of, "You shouldn't be driving like that with your daughter in the car with you".

I then let him know that she was actually my wife and not my daughter. He turned a shade of red very similar to the lights on the roof of his car, told us to have a nice day, and went back to his car.

15. And then a few minutes later, the mother of sloppy_lobster won second place in a beauty contest.

My mom actually did this accidentally before. She had her registration in a plastic holder and had forgotten that her friend had stuck a get out of jail free card on the other side. Got pulled over and handed the whole plastic thing to the cop. He laughed and let her go.

Mariah Carey may be getting over her billionaire ex-fiancé by dating a coworker.

0
0

A little over a month ago, news broke that ultimate diva Mariah Carey and her Australian billionaire fiancé James Packer officially split. Now People is reporting that Carey may already be moving on to a new romance with her backup dancer Bryan Tanaka. Who's the heartbreaker now?

Things seem to be moving pretty fast for the rumored couple. Tanaka allegedly joined Mariah and her family (including ex-husband Nick Cannon) for Thanksgiving in Hawaii this year, which sounds like a potential nightmare but looked like a sweet, sweet fantasy.

Rumors of Carey's and Tanaka's relationship have been swirling for months prior to Carey's split with Packer. Back in May, Carey pulled a then-injured Tanaka out of the audience for a lap dance during one of her concerts in South Africa, which must have been fun for Packer to discover.

Months later in October, TMZ reported that Packer confronted Tanaka backstage at one of Mariah's shows about their increasingly intimate relationship and ended up screaming at the backup dancer before kicking him out of the venue.

Oh yeah, then after Packer and Carey called off their engagement, Mariah and Tanaka were spotted out on the town together— even though she was still wearing her behemoth engagement ring. It was complicated.

Tanaka is set to be featured on Carey's upcoming reality show Mariah's World, but perhaps he will have a larger role than originally thought.

Melania Trump doesn't want Slovenians to put her face on a cake.

0
0

Ever since Donald Trump won the election, Slovenians in Melania Trump's hometown of Sevnica have been using the future first lady's name and likeness to sell pastries, honey, and other goods. But Melania (still known as Melanija Knavs in Sevnica) wants to put a stop to all that. She's hired a local law firm to warn people not to use her name or likeness for commercial purposes without her consent.

According to Politico, a statement issued by the firm Pirc Musar & partnerji said that it was a violation of Slovenian copyright law to use Melania's face on goods or on giant billboards welcoming visitors to the town.

No legal proceedings have been filed as of yet. The firm is simply monitoring the situation. “First we wanted to warn the public and now we count on their prudence to stop the practice,” the firm's director, Nataša Pirc Musar, told Politico.

A pizzeria owner in Sevnica named Bruno Vidmar said he's seen his business go up twenty percent since he started selling a new strawberry and mascarpone mousse called "Melanija." He said that his lawyer had advised him it was "OK" to continue selling the dessert as long as he wasn't using Melania's image.

Another pastry shop in town is selling a "Melania cake," a white chocolate mousse topped with nuts and, of course, edible gold. (Ugh.)

“We watched her and we wanted to create something as beautiful as she is,” the shop's owner Nuša Vidmar (who is a distant relative of the aforementioned Bruno) said. “We wanted to honor Melania and celebrate her success… The best way to mark the occasion was by making the cake.” Vidmar said she would absolutely discontinue the cake if Melania found it insulting.

Honestly though, who wouldn't want a dessert named after them? I would be honored. Is Melania not a dessert person?

So if you were hoping to head to Sevnica to stock up on Melania swag, you might want to think twice before you book that flight. Looks like they won't be selling those limited edition Melania trading cards after all.

89-year-old veteran posts heartbreaking ad looking for work. Strangers come through for him.

0
0

Joe Bartley, an 89-year-old job seeker from Paignton, UK, is making headlines for a classified ad he recently took out in the Torquay Herald Express. Bartley, an 89-year-old veteran and widower, says he was "bored stiff" sitting home alone all day since he retired. That's why he decided to get back in the work force by placing an ad. But that ad, drenched in old-school British charm, has reached way more people than he ever expected.

The ad reads:

WORK WANTED

Senior citizen 89 seeks employment in Paignton area. 20hrs+ per week. Still able to clean, light gardening, DIY and anything.

I have references. Old soldier, airborne forces.

Save me from dying of boredom!

Realizing what a gem they had on their hands, the Herald Express sent reporters out to interview Bartley. They found a man who, despite his age, had every bit of the sharpness and work ethic that served him so well as a radio technician for the airborne forces.

Bartley's story quickly began enchanting people all over the world. And now, local businesses are lining up to offer him a job. He's already had offers from cafes and supermarkets, but he's understandably weighing his options. Joe Bartley is nobody's fool. But he is looking forward to seeing people again, working with his hands, and not having to rely on government handouts.

Is it too late for us to hire him? He could probably write a mean ecard.

Barbie has done everything and now she's breastfeeding, too.

0
0

Mom Betty Strachan, a doll artist in Australia, wanted to use her skills to help end the public fear of breastfeeding. Giving dolls more realistic makeovers Strachan's new creation is the "Mamas Worldwide Barbie."

"The decision to make a breastfeeding doll didn’t come consciously," she told The Huffington Post."I’m a member of a mothers’ group that’s comprised of very lovely and supportive women. I remember one day, I was drawing the new face on a Barbie doll, and she just seemed to be the embodiment of the entire group."

The dolls went for sale on her Etsy shop, "All the Little Dolls," where they quickly sold out.

"Breastfeeding Barbie" comes included with a small baby doll, a hat and diaper in the color of your choice.

A prequel to Breastfeeding Barbie, All the Little Dolls also has a pregnant doll, which is finally a doll with realistic proportions.

I've been working on a little something today 👶🏼❤️

A photo posted by Betty S (@allthelittledolls) on

I've been working on a little something today 👶🏼❤️

A photo posted by Betty S (@allthelittledolls) on

And of course she sells some terrifyingly realistic babies.

Sometimes you just have to arrange things in order of size 🙊😂

A photo posted by Betty S (@allthelittledolls) on

Plus mother-daughter teams.

This one looks like Sia and Maddie Ziegler.

Check out all the All the Little Dolls on Facebook.


Article 37

Article 36

Chelsea Handler can't find a boyfriend for reasons that are super relatable.

0
0

I always imagined that when you get famous enough, eligible singles just show up at your door with gifts and active listening skills and you pick the one you like the most. But I guess I was wrong, because apparently Chelsea Handler—comedian, talk show host and all-around famous person—is struggling in the dating game. Welcome to the club, Chels.

“I don’t get asked out," she told People in a new interview. "No one is knocking at my door." (To be fair, they probably would if they knew where her door was.) She continued: "People try to set me up, but the guys that want to date me, I’m not that interested in. And guys I want to date, don’t seem that interested in me.”

RELATABLE. Also relatable: Handler admitted "it's time" to get a boyfriend, but lamented a lack of prospects in Los Angeles. “L.A. is weird,” she said. “Everyone is gay or married. I’ve got to wait for a bunch of people to get divorced, I guess.”

The 41-year-old comedian has dated rapper 50 Cent and rich hotel guy Andre Balazs , but that doesn't mean you have to be super rich or famous to date her. “I don’t have any parameters about who I date," she said. "I’m open."

There is one requirement: her future bae “will have to be confident and secure and put me in my place.” Good luck, men!

“Of course I want to be in love. I want a boyfriend," she admitted, but added that she's doing just fine. "So many of my dreams have come true [already]. So I’m cool with anything else this lifetime. Because I really hit the jackpot.”

As I write this, Chelsea Handler is probably drinking vodka and getting her feet massaged by some hot young stud with a man bun. So yeah, she'll be okay. Not so sure about the rest of us.

Here's what Trump's Twitter feed looks like (it's bad).

0
0

If you have ever found yourself thinking, "hm, I wonder how someone like the President-elect would be able to keep up with all the news happening on Twitter?" boy do I have a scary revelation for you: he simply does not!

If you head on over to Donald Trump's Twitter page, it's public information that he only follows 40 accounts. And sure, 40 doesn't seem like a lot for someone who is soon to be named the leader of our country. But hey, maybe there's a chance the President-elect is following 40 diverse, incisive and well-reported news outlets, right? Sigh. If only.

Thanks to Robert Mackey, a senior writer at The Intercept, you can now see for yourself what a terrifying parade of white men with bad opinions Donald Trump's Twitter feed is.

Click the link if you are feeling brave and ready to face the reality that is: 42.5% of the accounts Trump follows on Twitter pertain to his properties or his family members. Many of the rest are Fox.

Maybe Trump is so busy tweeting negative opinions about refugees that he doesn't have time to scroll through his feed. Whatever the reason, this is an example of the dangers of living in a "media bubble" on Facebook and Twitter, in which you only follow outlets and people that further bolster your views and don't expose you to differing opinions. This problem has also been cited as a catalyst for the viral spread of fake news leading up to the election, and some have claimed it helped Donald Trump win the election.

At the very least, the insularity of Trump's twitter feed and his continued tirade against the media's coverage of him is not a good look. The good news? Your Twitter feed probably makes you smarter than the President-elect's would.

Cops shared stories of the times a criminal managed to impress them with their cleverness.

0
0

Dumb criminal stories are a hallmark of the internet. They're fun, and they're satisfying—everyone likes seeing a bad guy get done in by their own stupidity. But then are the criminals who are actually so clever that the cops who catch them (or let them get away) have to give them at least a little credit. Recently, some police officers posted stories on Reddit about the most clever criminals they ever encountered in the line of duty.

1. This story from Putnum really builds to something. (Like drugs.)

Had a guy build his house on an elevated slab and had a massive cannabis farm underneath, stole power from his neighbours and wouldnt have been caught if he didn't do big regular burn-offs. There was a lot of money involved there.

2. Dispatcher qc013330 dealt with the handful of dudes who took gas instead of leaving it. This is a fart joke.

Not a police officer, but a police dispatcher here. We had a theft from a gas station recently. The thieves arrived after closing time with a large tank on a trailer pulled by a large truck. They proceeded to hack into the gas pump by an unknown method and change the price to $0.01 per gallon and steal 1000 gallons of gas. I'm impressed.

3. Twins are always up to no good, still-improving. Haven't you ever seen The Parent Trap?

Not a cop, but a cop told me about this. Evidently there were these two twin brothers, big, tall, muscular fellows. Their scam was ingenious. Both brothers would go into Home Depot separately and each begin shopping, filling up his cart with high-value stuff, each filling up his cart with identical items.

The first brother would go to the cashier and legally pay for his purchases. He'd show his receipt at the door and take his purchases out of the store.

The second brother would hang around the entrance, far enough from the exit not to arouse suspicion. The first brother would take his car to the entrance and give the receipt to the second brother. First dude then takes his purchases to load up in their vehicle.

Second brother then takes the cart full of items, plus receipt, back to the returns counter and says he changed his mind and wants his money back. Home Depot would refund the "purchases". Dude basically just sold Home Depot their own items.

Evidently they pulled this trick off and on for years before someone caught on. Cop said they probably would have kept on getting away with it for years if they hadn't hit the same store so often.

4. This story from TreyWait is the rare one that features giant pants, but not an illegal weight loss pill.

Not a cop, but used to do store security for a Tower Records. One day we were watching a guy on camera acting suspiciously. He would pick up a handful of CDs look up into the camera, smile, spin around, and poof the CDs would be gone! We couldn't figure out what the hell he was doing with them. He wasn't wearing a coat or anything he could quickly conceal them in, just a t-shirt and baggy jeans. We watched him do still several times smirking the whole time. We were wondering if maybe he was baiting us, trying to get us to stop him so that he could sue the company, but CDs were definitely vanishing. Anyway we stop him at the front doors, and shook him down a bit. He just smiled and claimed he didn't know what we were talking about. He even lets us pat him down... no CDs. So we let him go. Then we went back and watched the tape several more times. Then we spotted it. Down around his calf area, vaguely square outlines. When I patted him down I saw he was wear 2 pairs of pants. He'd been dropping them down his pants and letting them slide down his legs. The pants were baggy enough that dropping them the inside pair made the CDs almost invisible in the pant legs. I have to tip my hat to this guy. He was like a magician.

5. KrakenGoon had his own squad car stolen out from under him.

My partner and I responded to a burglary call at a house late one night. When we got there we heard the back fence rattle and knew someone jumped the fence to flee. We set up a perimeter and ended up catching the burglar with the stolen goods. As I put him in the backseat of the squad car he began throwing up. He drank a bottle of whiskey while stealing the things from the house and after running from us the liquor didn't sit well. I rolled the window down so he could puke on the outside of the car instead of the inside. We drove back to the house to complete the report and he told me there was another person with him inside the house and he knew where the suspect was. He motioned to a house two blocks away that had a garage door partially opened. He said his friend went inside and was hiding in there. I told my rookie partner to stay by the squad car while me and a few others checked the house. I made it to the garage and realized nobody was in there and immediately heard tires squealing and a car speeding off. I ran back to the house knowing what happened before I got there. The burglar in my backseat was now the car thief in the front seat driving my squad car away from the scene. Naturally everyone there jumped in their squad cars and the search was on for the stolen squad car. We found the squad car about 20 minutes later abandoned behind a house where a civilian was reporting their car stolen. The civilian left their car running to warm up and the suspect stole that car to get away. About an hour later the suspect was seen joyriding around where the burglary happened and the chase was on! There were approximately 20 different units chasing this suspect throughout the city until the suspect finally crashed and was taken into custody. He is now serving 19 years in federal prison due to the fact he was a convicted felon and when he stole the squad car he also removed several guns I had inside the car and was charged with being a felon in possession of a firearm. I was mad and embarrassed at the time but I have to had it to him for outwitting us.

He later told us he was double jointed and knew he could slip the handcuffs off and get them around to the front of his body. He said he made the story up of the second suspect in order to get us away from the car so he could use it to get away.

6. Patnet cites the craziest game of Telephone ever.

We get a call reporting that the phone system of a major UK bank has been hacked and that the caller has had several thousand pounds stolen from their account as a result. Seems unlikely, but officers went round to see what had happened. Obviously the bank's system was fine, but scammers had done something fairly clever.

Turns out that there is a way in the UK of keeping a phone line open when only the recipient hangs up. The scammers called the victim and pretended to be from the bank, before asking for account details. Victim was suspicious so hung up and called the bank back at their real telephone number. However, the scammers held the line open and played a dial tone down the line so the victim thought that she was making a new call, then they played a "ring ring" sample before a new scammer answered the call and took the details pretending to be the bank.

7. This story from Johnathon78 has a twist. Lots of them, actually. It's about lock-twisting.

Had a guy when I first started would twist locks. The art of twisting a lock works mainly in businesses that secure their double front doors using a deadbolt style lock. He would use a tool to twist this lock and in turn, open the doors. Guy probably got away with 25 businesses before he was finally busted. He later said his style of breaking and entering worked so well because the alarm systems have a set delay when opening a business. Say 30seconds. Given the glass wasn't broke or large movements were observed by the system, it would act as if the store we're opening and give the employee time to reset the alarm. Those 30s were plenty for him to get in, get to the register, and leave.

8. Notacop21 really branched out with this one.

When I was a rookie I got a call at 3:00 AM one night about a hold up alarm going off at an ATM. I respond and don't really take the call that seriously at first because I'm thinking, "No way a hold up alarm is being triggered at 3 in the morning".

I get there and start checking the bank when I see a guy walking through the drive through. Stupid me strolls over and calmly says, "Hey man, come over here and talk to me for a minute." He bolts and I take off after him only to realize I left my handheld in my car. I run back and call it in and my partner shows up shorty after. Well we can't find the guy and start looking around. The guy spray painted the ATM camera and he drive thru camera, which set off the alarm.

About an hour later I see a vehicle with out of state tags driving slowly through the drive thru and after running the plate, he has fictitious tags. We search the vehicle and can find absolutely nothing but a very long tree branch in the back of the SUV. We write him for fictitious tags and send him on his way per my Sgt.

The next day my investigator gets a call from the FBI because they had this guy's name flagged and saw where we ran him. He had been hittin ATMs in Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas and Tennessee. We were the first department that actually came in contact with him. He would spray paint the cameras or use the tree branch to turn high cameras away, after the alarms go off, he would wait nearby for police to leave. He would then come back and saw the hinges off the ATMs and take the money. He stole approximately $150,000 over a six month period. He was caught a few weeks later by a guy I went to the academy with.

9. According to psilad, the best way to steal an ATM is to somehow already have an ATM.

I locked up a guy a few years ago and he had an unusual crime on his criminal history. "Theft of an ATM".

I asked him about it and he told me he was with 4 others and they all turned up at a local bank in overalls with a large truck. They asked for the manager and told him "We're here to repair the ATM. The manager helped them load the ATM on to the truck (full of cash) and they drove away.

10. JustDontBeMean's story is the very definition of "long con."

I was an MP at Fort Carson. The young man was in the service for two years before a dishonorable discharge sending him back home to Pennsylvania. When he got home he used his uniform to get discounts and praise. One day he decided to hop on a plane to Colorado. He arrives in full uniform but with Lt. rank on. Gets off the plane and uses the government transportation to get on base. He doesn't have an ID but shit he is an officer so they let him on. Then he stayed at the inprocessing barracks without paperwork because hell, he is an officer. Stays there for weeks. He goes walking to the PX and comes across a woman with a flat tire. He helps her change it out and she invites him over for dinner. There he meets her husband and their kids then convinces them that he is waiting for housing and they let him live with them for a month. He cleans the house and babysits the kids. One time he went to this guys unit and chewed a supply sergeant out to help the guy he was living with. The only reason this came to light is because of one phone call he made to his mother from the inprocessing barracks. She became worried about him and called them. His mother let the people know he was not in the military. After that the search began. I was in MPI and got to pick him up. He gave me a straightforward statement and was genuinely nice. I just remember sitting on the office couch with him watching TV waiting for him to get transferred from my custody. I told him that I was genuinely impressed and that after what ever happens to him, happens, that he could get it together and do well. He wasn't the brightest kid but damn he had balls. I guess that is what it really takes.

11. Exsoulja recalls the shadiest person involved with a sweepstakes other than the people who actually run the sweepstakes.

Suspect would go door to door saying he was with Publishers Clearing House. He would tell people they were one of several finalist. He then explained he would need their name, date of birth, and social security number to verify who they were. After that, he would ask what hours they weren't home so they could ensure if the victim won the prize, they would be home. Naturally, he would break into their homes when they weren't home and steal all their valuables. To top it off, he would steal their identity and open a bunch of credit card / payday loans in their names afterwards. After over 50 cases, I finally caught the guy. Made off with over a half million dollars in 3 months before he was caught.

12. The criminal faced by Ncsululu probably spent more on his movie-level heist gear than he procured during the heists.

When I was an officer we had a guy hitting businesses in the area on an irregular basis. This guy was very much a criminal like you see in the movies.

He would scope out businesses for an unknown amount of time. When it was time for him to rob them he'd pick a weak point of entry on the roof or an exterior wall. The man would break in through the roof or an exterior wall and repel into the business wearing a mask, body armor, a large backpack with a heavy-duty drill and a firearm on his hip. He always planned it so he repelled or entered in the immediate area of the safe and drilled into the safe to steal its contents. He'd then gather all of his stuff and take off having stolen the contents of the safe. We were always a few minutes off from catching him. I left the department a short time later. I have no idea if he was caught. It was never on the news.

13. NSWPF wasn't impressed by the cleverness as much as he was the dedication for something that wasn't really worth the effort.

I once detained a man for shop lifting and found 17 packs of Tic Tacs he had stuffed inside a stitched up wound around his kidney. He was off his face in drugs so he didn't feel it but it was disgusting

14. A police officer named antilefty caught the most by-the-book criminal possible. As in he literally had a book.

I arrested the same dude for about a year for different crimes. He eventually stopped getting caught, and I saw him one day walking around with the penal code book.

15. We're living in an era of engrossing TV, as the cop husband of megerrolouise will attest.

My husband is a police officer. There was a guy with a warrant for his arrest, and every time the police showed up they could never find him. I mean, they saw him go into the house, went to search it, and he was gone.

Turns out he had taken the guts out of his huge TV and hid inside of it every time the police showed up. He only got caught bc a friend got mad and told the police where to look.

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images