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This family has a goal of spending $0 on food in 2017.

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A lot of people set a New Year's Resolution to save money in 2017, but one family is taking that goal to another level. They're trying to make it the whole year without spending any money on food.

Lydia Harvey of New Zealand, her husband, Matt, and their four kids are attempting to spend a grand total of $0 on food this year. They came up with the idea after their youngest child, Ashton was diagnosed with celiac disease and a dairy intolerance.

"I started wondering why our food was making him sick. And then I started asking questions - reading all the ingredients on packets and googling anything that I didn't understand. I realised that so much of what we eat isn't even proper food," Harvey told the Wanganui Chronicle.

Since then, the family has been focusing on locally grown, unprocessed foods. They grow their own fruits and vegetables and produce their own eggs, and are learning to forage and bargain for food.

Harvey often bakes for her friends, and in exchange they give her ingredients. She's also been given produce in exchange for helping people with their gardens.

"My motto is that if you give freely, it will come back to you freely. We always have so many surpluses, and we don't ask for anything in return, people are happy to give back to us," Harvey said.

Man, the rest of us really need to step up our New Year's Resolution games.


Thank you snowstorm for giving my bra the day off work.

Tucker Carlson defends Steve Bannon by saying he's not ISIS. Now it's a meme.

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Last week, USA Todaypublished an editorial comparing White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon's worldview to that of Islamic State. Tucker Carlson Tonight, Fox News' primetime program, went on the defense, taking the thesis oh-so-literally and presenting a pretty convincing chart as to why Bannon and ISIS might be separate entities.

Unlike ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, Bannon has not beheaded journalists, used chemical weapons on Kurds, employed child soldiers, mass executed Christians, or been declared a caliphate. Therefore, he must be an angel.

Twitter quickly made their own charts for future Fox News broadcasts.

People made a point to point out some similarities.

There's no higher praise for a person than simply, "NOT ISIS."

Yes, this is all really happening.

This woman got amnesia, so her boyfriend has to get her to fall in love all over again.

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20-year-old Jessica Sharman lost her memory last march after a series of siezures, but her life has become just like a movie as her boyfriend tries to start the relationship over from scratch.

Despite having epilepsy for most of her life, last march was the first time her seizures caused her to lose her memory. After a couple weeks recovering from a particularly rough epileptic episode, Sharman was sent home from the hospital with her previous 19 years wiped clean. She doesn't remember her family at all, let alone her boyfriend Richard Bishop, who she had been dating for the previous seven months.

According to the NY Post, her life post-memory loss could become the plot to an award-winning movie.

I was terrified. I had no idea who anyone was. Everyone was a stranger to me. I didn’t even know my own name. I remember boarding the train that day in March, but that’s it. I’ve been told my body went limp and my eyes glazed over. But we had nearly arrived in London and Rich was able to support me until we got to the station, then walk me to our office and call my parents while he looked after me. I now recall seeing a woman running towards me but I had no idea who she was. She was hugging me and asking if I was OK but I just stared back at her blankly. She kept saying she was my mom.

Her mom tried to job her memory by showing her old photos of them together on her phone, but nothing came back.

"Not only did I not recognize my parents in the pictures, I had no idea what I looked like."

I found a mirror and looked at my reflection but it was like I was looking at a stranger. I did match the person in the photos, though, so agreed to go home with my parents. Mom put a hand on my knee but I pushed it off, it felt weird to be touched by a stranger.

As hard as it was for her to accept her parents, it was even harder to let her boyfriend back in.

I remember at one point I was left on my own with him and hated it. I didn’t know him but he was acting like we were in love.

So two weeks later, I tried to end the relationship. He looked so hurt and promised he would help me remember how great we were together. Seeing how passionate and caring he was finally convinced me he must care for me, so I agreed to give it a shot.”

Bishop really did put in the work. He took her to their favorite restaurants, went on walks in the park, and shared stories with her about who she had been. Eventually, she feel back in love with him

“I don’t remember the first time I fell in love with Rich but I do remember the second. He was so patient with me, so sweet, I couldn’t help but fall for him."

Jeez. It's a real-life rom-com. Especially considering, Jessica and Richard might be fated to do it all over again.

Doctors say there’s a 50 percent chance I could lose my memory all over again. But Rich was able to make me fall in love with him twice — so I know he could do it again.

I'd love to build a snowman if I didn't have to leave the house to do it.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because you don't have to go out for Valentine's Day.

Don't be surprised if Melania Trump ends up on the cover of 'Vogue.'

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Despite the fact that some designers having vowed not to work with her, First Lady Melania Trump will probably end up on the cover of Vogue. Speaking to the Wall Street Journal, long-time (almost forever-time) Vogue editor Anna Wintour said,

We have a tradition of always covering whoever is the first lady at Vogue and I can’t imagine that this time would be any different.

In 2016, Vogue endorsed a political candidate for the first time ever, and surprise—it wasn't Donald Trump. Wintour is a supporter of both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. But that won't get in the way of the fashion magazine having the first lady on the cover.

Former first lady (and hopefully maybe future president, fingers crossed) Michelle Obama was on three Vogue covers. And now that Melania Trump is first lady, she'll most likely get her time on the cover, too.

After all, Melania Trump used to be a model. She's even been on the cover of Vogue before, in 2005.

Melania Trump scored the cover of Vogue after marrying Donald Trump.

And she was on the cover of Vanity Fair Mexico just last month, eating jewelry.

Wow, so this is how she stays so thin.

What luxury item will she be wearing on her next Vogue cover? Let's hope it's Trump ties!

This country claims it's the 'best country in Africa' in hilarious video mocking Trump.

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The Netherlands started it. Many other countries like Germany and Australia have since hopped on board. And now Namibia is the latest country to join the global trend of mocking the US President with a hilarious video that will make you want to scrap your Canada plans and move to Namibia instead.

Addressed to President Donald Trump from "The United States of Namibia," the video, produced by a local Namibian film company, opens: "Dear Mr. President, this is an introduction video about 'Nam. No, not Vietnam. 'Nam like in Namibia. The best country in Africa. Better than the EU... way better!"

Narrated by Namibia's own "Trump," it goes on to brag about how "the Namibian culture is the best culture in the world, it's true! We have so many tribes and we mix them all to have the best flavor."

The cutting satire just gets better from there. You can watch here:

The voiceover, in perfect Trump cadence, also boasts that Namibia has things that Trump loves, like walls ("we also have a great wall!"), and a tower ("it's huge! And the best thing is, we actually let the North Koreans build it").

And it concludes with a final cheeky jab at Trump's "America first" mentality:

"We totally understand it's going to be America first. We're just not sure on which continent you mean? Because in Africa, well, Namibia is first!"

One thing is certain: Namibia's video making fun of Trump is the greatest video making fun of Trump in the world. So amazing!


I'm seeing so many different delivery guys these days.

Woman says she's haunted by a 'man-hating' ghost who keeps scaring her boyfriends away.

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A woman named Tracy Proctor from the UK says her house is haunted by a "protective" man-hating ghost who has chased away all her boyfriends and male visitors for the past 14 years, the Daily Mail reports. Girl, same.

The 52-year-old caregiver said the spirit moves items like keys and e-cigarettes around her home (maybe it's just trying out a healthier alternative to smoking?). But even creepier, it keeps pulling down the underwear of her antique dolls.

That's messed up, ghost.

But the worst part? "Many men have been driven out from my home," says the mother-of-two. Both of her sons, Glynn, 31, and Alec, 24, moved out because of the ghost, she claims. And her current and former boyfriends have reportedly had ghostly "encounters" as well.

"It does seem to affect the males around me because of what has happened with my sons and partners," Proctor told the Daily Mail."It has definitely stopped me having relationships and if I meet someone then I know what is going to happen and that I am not going to see them again if they come back to mine."

There's even an interview with Proctor where an eery white orb appears in the video. Check it out (ghost appears around 0:04):

So, why doesn't she just call the Ghostbusters or an exorcist? Or move? Good questions. And that's because this story has a twist. Proctor revealed that while all of her exes have left her because of the ghost, she's actually gotten "used to it."

She said:

But for me it's quite a nice feeling actually because when I am feeling low, I can feel like a cloak coming over me and it is like the spirit is protecting me.

Other people might not be interested in it and think that I am quite crazy but it seems to have looked after me while I have been in this house and nothing bad has ever happened.

A ha! It seems to me like Tracy is developing feelings for this ghost. And no judgment here. You love who you love. Besides, all these living, breathing men have ghosted Tracy, but the actual ghost has stuck around. Sounds like a keeper.

George and Amal Clooney are having twins, securing their DILF and MILF statuses.

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George and Amal Clooney are expecting twins, People reports, which means we got two sets of celebrity twin announcements in two weeks. For those of us for whom obsessing over the personal lives of celebrities allow us to escape from the chafing of existence and the horrible news that fills our feeds, it is a blessed day indeed. For everyone else, today probably still sucked. But when you have good news, like the fact that two very attractive and smart people (okay, at least Amal is definitely very smart), baby you gotta cling on to it. And cling hard.

Which may lead you to do something unfortunate like this:

I have a hard enough time wrapping my head around how awesome it would be to be a twin (seems like it would be very cool always and I can't think of a single reason it would be bad). But can you imagine being George and Amal Clooney'stwins? They are going to have a fun life, splitting their time between the Clooney's three homes in L.A., Italy and England and being very well-connected and posh.

Sometimes, when I'm on the subway or walking down the street in Manhattan, I see a city child. And you know a city child when you see one. A city child is impossibly cool, even though they are probably not older than four years old. They are wearing clothes that look like tiny versions of something you could buy at Topman, probably including little jogger sweatpants. Their sneakers are very on-trend, just miniature. And the way they might hold onto the subway pole or ride their scooter is so blasé that they appear to have the casual chillness of someone who has never been impressed in their entire life. Because you can't impress a city child. They've seen it all. When a city child is born, it is already cooler than you or I were when we first bought a funky vintage jacket or got into Animal Collective or learned what a pour over is. George and Amal's twins will be city children. So will Beyonce and Jay-Z's. Why do we even try?

I'm ready to take our relationship to the level of being snowed in together this weekend.

Here are Twitter's funniest responses to Trump's insane 'SEE YOU IN COURT!' tweet.

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Today, three federal judges unanimously refused to reinstate Donald Trump's Muslim travel ban. According to The New York Times, the ruling will likely be quickly appealed and taken to the Supreme Court. But before that happens, Trump wanted to have a quick outburst about the results and make sure everyone knew about his intent to appeal:

See you in court? Didn't you just leave court? And aren't you saying that to the people who are also perpetually in court, as they are judges? The ban was lifted on Friday after federal judge James Robart in Washington State issued a decision that would temporarily block it, and the three judges today unanimously agreed with Robart's suspension of the ban. So first, we must thank Judge Robart and our three federal judge friends from today. But now, it's time to turn it over to the internet, who eviscerated Trump over his insane tweet. First up, we have Hillary Clinton, who issued perhaps the perfect tweet in response to Trump's "SEE YOU IN COURT!"

So classy, so sassy. The perfect combo of restraint and incisiveness. And Clinton's response, which points out that not a single one of the judges who reviewed the ruling today was for reinstating it, was just one of many beautiful owns that the internet handed Trump today. Honestly, he deserves it. Nobody says "see you in court," without being in a bad 1990s comedy with giant cell phones and gets away with it. Not on our watch! So, without further ado, I give you the very best responses to Trump's attempt at a sick burn of the judicial process.

'Dear White People' troll gets served the best punishment for calling the show 'anti-white.'

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On Wednesday, Netflix aired a 35-second date announcement trailer for a new series, Dear White People. The 10-episode comedy, which takes place on a fictional Ivy League campus where frat bros have a black face party, is based off a successful 2014 indie film of the same title, Huffington Post reports. The series will be the latest addition in a trend toward shows that tackle serious issues in a dramedy tone, like MTV's Sweet/Vicious which features two female college students who are vigilantes against sexual assault at night. Or Lifetime's Mary Kills People, which is about a woman who performs assisted suicide as her side hustle.

Somehow, white people took issue with the show, calling it racist and anti-white (hmm maybe that's because they are racist and anti-black?), and since the trailer's release yesterday, the trolls have been pretty persistent in attempting to make a Netflix ban happen. While trolls, especially those of the Trump supporting, alt-right variety, are usually best ignored, sometimes it feels good to stand up against racist jerks and serve them some justice. And that's exactly what some beautiful stranger(s) out there did.

Here is our offender. He is the kind of person who has proudly photoshopped Pepe, a white supremacist symbol, into his Twitter avatar:

Literally what is white genocide. But he got what he deserved, friends:

Now that is some vigilante justice against stupid white people. True hell is getting spammed with email you don't understand that you never signed up for. And also being that dumb. But our heroes weren't done yet. Because they also did this:

Honestly it's funny to me that this guy decided to share all of the ways he was being "bullied" with all his followers. He could have just kept that to himself. Now, I could share more things that Baked Alaska posted about Dear White People, but they'll just make you angry and sad. All you really need to know is that unfortunately, the people who could benefit from watching this series the most are already boycotting it. You can watch the trailer for the show here:

My feelings for you are as enduring and filthy as parking lot snow.


Night shift workers shared the creepiest things that ever happened on the job. Lock your doors.

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Working the graveyard shift already has certain disadvantages: It's quiet and lonely, mostly. And this is to say nothing of the fact that the night is dark and full of terrors, either imagined, real, or unexplained. Some night shift workers took to Reddit to share their incredibly spooky stories of things that go bump in the night.

1. TheRealEddieMurphy has a few bloody questions.

I work in the ER and I frequently work overnight shifts.

One night I was sitting at the front desk by myself and I heard the front doors open but nobody walks in. So I get up to go see what the hell is going on or if anyone needs help. I go into the vestibule as it's empty and I want to see if anyone is outside. Nobody is there, not even any vehicles. At this point i shrug it off, but then I look down and see a massive pool of blood, like trauma level 1 massive. I immediately call the nurses to come up and we all scout out the area.

We didn't find anyone and to this day I wonder if that person survived. Just wish I could have helped. Very creepy experience.

2. Greasy put a ring on it.

Worked night shift at an amusement park. I was working during the winter, while the park was closed for the season, and i was 1 of 2 people in the entire park and the other was right next to me. We were driving around and the phones started ringing on like every ride and in every building we drove by. And i dont mean all at the same time either. But it was like the ringing phones were following us. If it was some sort of prank it was pretty impressive, because each phone had a different number and were talking like 25-30 phones were ringing. Creepy as hell.

3. Gettin' scared like maggielewiecki is FOR THE BIRDS.

I used to work overnight shifts at a restaurant with a drive-thru that I was also in charge of. There was a bird who cooed into the drive-thru speaker (and into my headset) that kept scaring the shit out of me until I finally realized what it was.

4. And the dead shall rise, such as in this prophecy from ziadohoo.

Not my story, but when my grandma was younger, she worked at a hospital for some time as a chemist. At one point she is in the morgue doing whatever chemical stuff that she did, when she hears a noise behind her and turns around to find one of the dead guys sitting up facing her.

Turns out that if you only strap down the legs of a corpse, when it goes through rigor mortis, it will "sit up."

5. At the sound of the beep, vincentvanbr0 will be dooooooomed.

Used to work third shift as a custodian. Not too many things happened, I ended up scaring myself most of the time, but this is downright the scariest thing that happened.

It was late, I don't remember exactly what time, but definitely at an hour where it would be extremely unusual for anyone to be in the school, probably 2-3 AM. As I explain this next part, you'll be able to piece together what's going to happen next, but I can't tell the story without explaining. Anyway, to get on the intercom, you have to punch in a code on a phone, any phone, in the building, then wait for the beep and then you can speak. Well I'm doing my thing, all alone in a large building, when I hear that beeeeep over the loud speaker. I have never felt so frozen in my life, even my mind just quit working. It's like I left my body for a second. I didn't hear a phone hang up like you usually would, so I held out hope that it was some malfunction. I sprinted to the administrative offices, locked all the doors, locked myself in an office, turned off the lights and called my boss. She kinda laughed at me and told me to calm down, that there was nothing to worry about, no one could get in without a key, there were silent alarms if anyone did happen to break in and the police would be alerted, which they hadn't.

I wasn't taking any chances though, so I stayed barricaded in the admin offices until teachers started coming in around 5 AM. Nothing came of it.

6. Those dolls are creepy in the daytime, gedri13.

Used to work night shift at Toys-R-Us. At night they would turn half of the lights off to save on power, and the girls toy section....oh god the girls toy section at night was so fucking creepy. You're carrying a box down the aisle and it's perfectly silent, then the motion sensors on the dolls will catch your movement and ALL AT ONCE the toys will turn and follow you with their lifeless eyes before screaming or laughing or crying in that horrible electronic box way and flailing about. I am a fully grown, 6'4, 300 lbs hairy assed man, and I have never noped my way out as fast as getting away from that section at night.

7. Follow the lead of this story from Pwatopus and always believe people who hallucinate.

This isn't fair, because I work night shift in a psych facility.

Basically, I've seen a lot of things working at night. From people coming in high and psychotic, to people huddling naked in the corner of a room whispering.

Scariest thing I have ever seen was a patient coming out to the nurses station and saying someone is outside of their window looking in. From admission they had been experiencing pretty strong hallucinations so we assumed this was another one.

To provide some ease, we went into the room to verify that there was no one there and provide them some relief and comfort.

We have removable draw curtains in rooms and they were shut. Walked up to it and asked if it was this window. Patients told us that it was. Drew it open and had quite possibly the biggest scare of my life.

THERE WAS SOMEBODY THERE WIDE EYED AND STARING RIGHT BACK AT US THROUGH THE WINDOW.

He ran off when we saw him and we ended up calling the police as well as security.

They never found the guy and we never saw him again.

Still creeps me out to this day.

8. But paperzombie_ brings up the biggest question in the universe: are dogs just stupid, or can they see ghosts?

I've worked overnight at a cage-free dog facility. They needed me to "sleep over" when they had dogs with medical needs that need to be monitored in a room overnight during the holidays. It was a big room in the middle of the building, so no windows. There was a queen-size bed for me to hang out on/keep some pups up with me on while I read and watched them. Like I said, it's cage-free dog boarding so it's actually a pretty great deal: I get to hang out with and monitor a bunch of big, older dogs all night while I get some work done on my laptop.

Now you know that stupid thing dogs do when they wake you up, barking at some random noise that, to you, appears to be the dark corner of the room or your open bedroom door? Imagine that and multiply it by 15. Same spot in the room, too. Every single one of them. Some of them even had their hackles up. Barking directly at the foot of the bed.

9. Give Gopherbashi some room.

I work in an ICU. When there's a code blue in the unit, it automatically goes through to our pagers as soon as someone in the room hits the big emergency button on the wall.

Middle of the night, we get three code blue calls to room 117 within a span of 20 minutes.

We don't have a room 117. It's not that room 117 isn't a patient room - there isn't a room 117. Period. Not even on the building blueprints. It simply doesn't exist. Never found out what caused it, and it never happened again.

10. You know this story is going to have ghosts in it once Teddy_thatsmyname uses the phrase "Victorian house."

I used to work the overnight shift at a group home for children. It was a creepy old Victorian house and it certainly had a history as a couple children had passed away there over the 50 years it was open. One night, around 3 am, all of a sudden a tissue box went flying off of the TV in the staff room, no apparent cause. I sat there shaking for a minute and then thought to go check on the kid in the room on the other side of the wall. As I went to the door, the kid fell out of bed all of a sudden and immediately woke up. He looked at me and said "did you see it? That's what's been getting me. The dark thing." I didn't work too many overnights after that.

11. According to e_lizz, the difference between a bank and a savings & loan is that a savings & loan doesn't have a ghost.

My husband used to do overnight security for a bank. If someone messed with any of the doors from the outside a signal would go off in the patrol truck, but regardless every hour he'd have to walk the perimeter of the building. A few times he came across one of the back doors open just a few inches. The signals didn't go off and it was especially bizarre because that particular door only opened from the inside. He'd report it, higher ups and local PD would come check it out, and they could never figure out how the door was opening. Happened about 5 or 6 times in the time he worked there.

12. Come see sailor_doctorwho for spooktacular savings.

Worked overnight changing grocery store prices.

We were all convinced the place was haunted. Those big, heavy, swinging doors to the back would literally open all the way and nobody was there.

Cans and other products would FLY off the shelves. Like scoot, then go all the way to the other side of the aisle before hitting the ground.

My second day, I was working in the freezer ice cream section and heard a triple knock from the back. Decided to answer back. I knocked twice. The knocking continued for awhile and followed me down the doors.

I found out later that there is no access back there. It's a solid wall.

And the one that made me jumpy as Fuck if I was alone was when I went to catch a frog that had gotten inside. It went underneath a shelf, so I got on my knees and without looking because I'd seen him right at the edge, I was feeling around for it. AND SOMETHING GRABBED MY HAND! I screamed as loud as I could, sprang backwards on my butt, knocked stuff off the shelf behind me, and ran out the door.

One of the managers ran after me and asked what happened. I told her. She goes, "Oh. Yeah. That happens here sometimes. Nobody has been hurt though."

I then stood stopped forward so my feet were away from the shelves. That was a very terrifying place.

13. "ICU, ghost!" - DyingLion

I've always worked as a night nurse and have seen some creepy shit. One night, I had a patient die unexpectedly in their room. I found her while she was gasping for her last breath and quickly called the Code Team to intervene and get her to the ICU. She did not make it. But shortly after, the patient call light in her now empty room kept going off frequently. I would answer the call light, go into the room to try and troubleshoot what was setting it off, but never found anything amiss. Finally, after like the 10th time it went off in an hour, I answered the call light using the speaker and addressed my now dead patient. "Mrs. SoAndSo, you have passed on and this is no longer your room". The call light stopped ringing after that!

14. One time lancingtrumen saw a night nurse, but not the fun kind.

Nurse working overnight in a hospital that has been around since the 1850s. There is the spirit of a (assumed) nurse that used to work here that wakes patients up for medications. We have patients that come up to the nurses station and ask what medications they need as the, "nurse in the white scrubs and hat told me to come up." Multiple patients staying in the same room at different times have come up and asked me this. What the strangest thing to me is that no one questions why a woman in an outdated nurses uniform ( wearing caps while working is not the norm here anymore) they have never met is waking them up. One of the more eerie situations that frequently happens is when patients ask about the building being haunted. When I talk about the friendly ghost a door nearby always closes or opens, depending on its original position.

15. MrsAlmondbutter tells the tale of a spirit doomed to walk the earth and do menial office chores.

I work at a transitional living home for young women recovering from addictions and I used to do quite a few night shifts. This is a very old house and there was a story about a ghost named Charlotte who lived there. One night I was looking for a binder on the shelves in the office, but it wasn't there. This was strange because the binders are rarely anywhere else. All the girls were sleeping, the office is always locked, and we are single staffed on night shifts. I went downstairs for a bit to look for the binder and at some point went back to the office....the damn binder was back on the shelf. And then the paper shredder just started going off. I noped right the f out of the office for the rest of my shift.

16. Salmoncubes worked at a mill that made cotton, the fabric of our afterlives.

Worked night shift security at a cloth mill that's been around since the American Civil War. Had a good few spooks while I was there, but two really stand out.

First, around 5AM on a Saturday, I was patrolling the bridge that goes out over the river, and as I was going to unlock the gate to the bridge, I totally froze. I felt an incredible unnatural presence and looked forward to see, underneath a dim light, some kind of distortion in the air. You know cloaking devices in movies where the car or ship or whatever phases out and looks like a mirror of what's behind it? Exactly like that, but with some kind of blackened aura around it. I waited a moment, staring at it. It slowly "undid" itself and I began to calm. I went about with my rounds, trying not to think about whatever it was.

Second one happened about two weeks after. I was walking through the cotton opening room, and I was overcome with that same feeling that somehing unnatural or malevolent was nearby. I looked ahead and saw a small tuft of cotton floating in the air. Cotton often floats about in there, but this tuft was dead still. I walked towards it, eyes locked, waiting for it to move. No circulating air at that time of night. I waved my hands above, below, and to both sides of it, and yet it still didn't move. It was totally frozen in place. I turned to walk away, made a few steps, and whipped my head back to it, and it was lying on the floor. I have no idea what could have kept it suspended like that.

17. AporcyphalCanon was the victim of a classic prank by a toilet ghost.

Used to be a custodian in an elementary school. I was alone for the last two hours of the shift. Every single toilet in oje bathroom flushed at once and then in a pattern. They were not auto flushing. I noped the fuck out of there, didn't even stop to punch out.

18. While daGonz thought it was a ghost, the truth was much scarier.

I used to work overnight phone support for enterprise customers. Specifically those in apac. Frankly our market segment there was very very small. On average each person working got 3-5 calls a week.

The office building we were in used to be a shipping receiving warehouse and had horrendous sodium vapor halogens. So we petitioned to have the lights turned out at night.

This one evening I was watching Frailty with headphones while waiting for my next call. I remember it being a very tense moment in the movie, and I heard a growling over my shoulder. I quickly check, nothing there, chocked it up to the movie.

A couple of minutes later, I hear the growling again. It's not a dog it's not the movie. I tap one of my coworkers ask if they hear it too. He does, so we start searching.

I end up the far corner of the cubicle farm area and I hear the growling again, and it's right behind me. I turn around and there's nothing there. The growling is right in front of me. I peek into the large managers cube and there's the growling! It the security guard asleep under the desk.

This jackass, picked the only section of the building that had people staffed overnight and the only section that required badged entry. The next morning on my way out of the building, I told the security guard that there were some odd noises coming a managers cube. He went pale and said "I'll have to add that to my report"

Hillary Clinton gloriously subtweets Donald Trump over 'SEE YOU IN COURT!' tweet.

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Although she lost to Donald Trump in the general election, Hillary Clinton just proved that she still can take down the president with a single tweet.

On Thursday, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals voted unanimously against reinstating Trump's travel ban that withheld people from seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the United States. The decision led to Trump tweeting out this all-caps threat that sounds more like something a super villain would say than a U.S. president.

Uh, no one tell President Trump that the 9th U.S. Circuit is court.

Anyway, Hillary Clinton responded to Trump's tantrum with a simple, glorious subtweet.

Of course, Clinton is referring to the unanimous decision of all three judges not to reinstate Trump's unconstitutional ban, and the three little characters spoke volumes.

That's something to shimmy about.

Damn, there hasn't been an HRC clap back tweet this iconic since "delete your account."

🔥🔥🔥

Rosie O'Donnell channels Steve Bannon in haunting new profile pic, internet loses its mind.

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When SNL cast Melissa McCarthy as White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, the result wasn't just a hilarious sketch—it was discomfort in the White House, as Donald Trump reportedly hated the idea of "Spicer's portrayal by a woman."

So, what other actresses could play Trump men on SNL? immediately thought the internet, ever clever.

Rosie O'Donnell? As senior strategist (and so far played on SNL by a skeletor) Steve Bannon?

Rosie was down.

And now she's doubled down, changing her profile picture on Thursday night to a hauntingly perfect Rosie O'Donnell as Steve Bannon photo.

Two jackets, one Bannon.

The people hope it means she's on SNL this coming weekend. An SNL hosted by Trump-impersonator Alec Baldwin, no less.

Even the Morning Joe crew loved it. "That's funny!" "This is huge!"

But as Rosie tweeted, the mere idea is troll enough for her. And probably for SNL's record ratings, too.

Alec Baldwin takes a shot at Ivanka Trump's Nordstrom drama on 'The Tonight Show.'

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SNL's infamous Donald Trump impersonator, Alec Baldwin, was a guest on The Tonight Show on Thursday night. During a game of "Box of Lies" with host Jimmy Fallon, Alec Baldwin cracked a joke about the current Ivanka Trump/Nordstrom debacle.

“I got this suit from the Ivanka Trump men’s collection at Nordstrom’s. Big sale right now, 95 percent off of everything," Baldwin joked.

Here's how the game works: you pick a box, open it, show the audience what's in it, and then tell your opponent what's in it. Then your opponent must guess if you're lying. Kellyanne Conway would love this game.

Jimmy Fallon reading #WhyImSingle hashtags will make you feel less alone.

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If you are bummed about being single on Valentine's Day this year, know that you are not alone. OnThe Tonight Show on Thursday, the internet's most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes revealed that one detail that kept them from finding a mate with their #WhyImSingle tweets. Maybe you're not as hopeless as you think.

Okay, so sometimes the problem is you. But if you are single, at least you are in good company with other hilarious available people. These single tweeters should meet up some time. Their first date jokes will probably be just as killer as their #WhyImSingle tweets.

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