Warning: these memes are NSFW. Only keep scrolling if you have a truly filthy mind.
1.
Warning: these memes are NSFW. Only keep scrolling if you have a truly filthy mind.
1.
We don't give kids enough credit for their astute observations.
The world is still new for them, so they see it through a lens of constant discovery. Like a hungover college student in their one night stand's dorm room, they're searching for any and all clues of why and how they got here. Trying to make sense of a place with a blue roof and a dirt ground where you have to shove a bunch of plants and water into your face every day to function and then shut everything down for eight hours every night can be pretty confusing.
For all of the trouble they cause, though, sometimes kids really nail what it means to be alive. Ask the important questions, and you shall receive.
1. Future president.
Random guy: *honks at me for taking too long to pull out of my parking space* MOVE YOUR CAR, LADY!
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 31, 2018
My 4-year-old: *rolls down her window* HEY!!! YOU CAN’T TELL MY MOM WHAT TO DO! YOU’RE NOT HER KID!
2. Oh my god, heartbreaker.
I was lifeguarding and a little boy threw his ball out of the water and his mom goes “maybe if you ask the pretty lifeguard she will grab the ball for you!” This kid looked me dead in the eye and goes “.....where’s the pretty one?” KIDS ARE RUTHLESS LMAO
— Carlie V (@Carlie_Veenhuis) June 22, 2018
3. Ruthless manager.
4-year-old: Can we get a kitten?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2016
Me: I'm allergic. We can't be in the same house.
4: You could sleep outside.
4. Sometimes you just have to know...
Me: [butchering a raw pork shoulder]
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 9, 2019
Child: Can I poke it?
Me: What?
Child: Can I poke it?
Me: Poke...poke the pork?
Child: Yes.
Me: WHY
Child: It looks squishy.
Me: It IS squishy.
Child:
Me:
[5 mins later]
Wife: WHY ARE YOU TWO POKING THE PORK
5. A thorough investigation.
Me: "Who got pee on the floor?"
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 24, 2019
5y.o: "Wait- did you say the floor or the wall?"
Me: "Floor."
5: "Oh- not me, then."
6. Weight should be measured in squirrels.
today we asked my three year old cousin how much he weighs and he said, "uhhh, like fifty squirrels"
— keera (@keera_w) December 24, 2017
7. Wow, this is deep.
6-year-old: Why do bad guys always try to take over?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 29, 2016
Me: They want to be in charge and make all the rules.
6: Why don’t they become moms?
8. The truth hurts!
7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?"
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 20, 2015
Me "Yes"
7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"
9. Grandma wins.
Me: Did you miss me while you were at Grandma’s house?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2018
6-year-old: She let us make cookies.
Me: I missed you.
6: We ate them for breakfast.
So that’s a no.
10. The cornbread looks so cozy, though!
Almost 2yr old for sale. Been crying for 10 mins cuz he cant get in the oven with the cornbread. Entertaining all offers.
— Cocoa Mama (@SeauxCocoa) May 30, 2018
11. Bring out the cat!
children are so strange i just had seven (7) young boys on my front porch demanding to see my cat. they had a leader. i opened the door and before i could greet them he said “where’s your cat. i know he’s in there we see him in the windows and he’s real fat.” idk what to do here
— ari (@wasteIandbaby) April 14, 2018
12. Tooth pig is a way better name, though.
Took my son to the zoo yesterday for the first time ever and I realized I hadn’t explained what a hippo was and he just kept asking to go back and see the tooth pig
— The Dad (@thedad) August 30, 2018
13. Cold.
Me, after my 2yo has spent the last 10 minutes "styling" my hair: Oh thank you, I feel so beautiful!
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) November 8, 2018
My 2yo: You're not.
14. Pre-K has CHANGED.
My daughter looked me dead in the eye and said "Daddy, no matter what.. We gotta keep going and hope to see another day." I just wanna know what the hell they got going on in her pre-k that's so stressful that she came across that saying
— Dominus (@TheLateSh0w) April 28, 2018
15. She knows what's up.
just overheard this 10 year old kid at work say “I’m just going to marry myself so I can get a ring and a fancy dress”. She’s on the right track.
— ⅇryn (@emacthadon) June 22, 2018
16. Another great point.
my niece asked me one day why i always wear the same tattoos like LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 💀
— somebody cuff me :( (@htxraull) September 29, 2018
It's hardly news when First Son and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast If He Fell In A Bucket of Toxic Waste Donald Trump Jr. tweets something dumb, but it's still hilarious.
Don Jr. was in Washington yesterday for his boss's big speech, and because it looks he wasn't invited into the Oval Office, he made sure to tweet attempted smears against Democrats so his dad loves him.
lmao they won't let him in pic.twitter.com/WTTuXE59cZ
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) February 6, 2019
Little Donny Jr. thought he struck gold when he posted a meme that shows Democratic Congresswomen, many of them women of color, with "NOT ONE AMERICAN FLAG PIN AMONG THEM" in a big, font.
Speaks for itself and no one is at all surprised. pic.twitter.com/kLoJzMmY10
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) February 6, 2019
Don Jr., of "meeting with a Kremlin agent for dirt on Hillary Clinton" fame, appears to be equating pins with patriotism, accusing these Members of Congress of treason for having the wrong accessories.
If that's the case, then it's a massive self-own, because, uh, where are these peoples' pins of pride?!
Not one American flag pin in sight. pic.twitter.com/rDPhqZzCrj
— Cole (@TryUsingGoogle) February 6, 2019
People noticed.
Where are the flag pins in this photo? pic.twitter.com/VfV1nMl7YW
— Cat Escalera (@EscaleraCat) February 6, 2019
A pin is almost redundant when you're an elected public servant, serving the public.
Yeah, wearing an American flag pin is a much clearer indication of who is a patriot than, I don’t know, SERVING YOUR COUNTRY AS AN ELECTED OFFICIAL. (P.S. just because you’re shallow and treasonous does not mean that everyone else is. Well, except for your GOP colleagues.)
— busyness (@busyness) February 6, 2019
Their actions speak for their patriotism and love for America, they don't need some pin. And they certainly don't need some russian pet to give any fashion pointers.
— Mommahawk (@Yusunhawk) February 6, 2019
No need for "made in china" plastic pins. THEY are the very fabric the American flag is made of.
— Jeanne Robshaw (@JR84patriot) February 6, 2019
There was also another very obvious joke that was made.
Don't take patriotism lessons from Don Jr.
Not one Russian asset either. Go figure.
— Bobby Hayden (@bobhaydensson) February 6, 2019
— John Andreu (@JohnAndreu) February 6, 2019
Not one bankruptcy among them.
— clinton butler (@cbutler621) February 6, 2019
Not one sexual assault charge among them.
Not one conspiracy with Russia among them.
Not one emoluments violation among them.
Not one stiffed contractor among them.
Do we need to keep going DJTJ?
This can be easily fixed #comrades#collusionpic.twitter.com/eQDWKfZii0
— Anti MAVerick (@Anti_Maverick) February 6, 2019
Don Jr. should........wait for it.......stick a pin in it.
These hilarious parenting memes are guaranteed to make you chuckle, even if your kids are totally driving you nuts today.
If you follow the frenemyship of Wolverine and Deadpool as closely as much of the internet does, then you may remember that just a week ago Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman called a truce to their endless trolling.
Official truce with @realhughjackman! As a gesture of goodwill, I’m gonna make a beautiful ad for his company, Laughing Man Coffee. Can’t wait! pic.twitter.com/M91iBBydO7
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 31, 2019
In the "truce" post, which many of us felt was a trap, the actors promised they would make ads for each other's companies in order to kick off a new era of peace. This meant that Reynolds would make an ad for Laughing Man Coffee, and Jackman would make an ad for Aviation Gin.
Well, now, just a week later the friends made a video unveiling their ads for each other and it predictably seems like it'll usher in even more shenanigans from the pair.
F for effort. pic.twitter.com/fomGU8ipX6
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) February 6, 2019
As you can see in the video, Reynolds made a complimentary pun-filled ode to the ethics of Jackman's coffee company. In contrast, Jackman called Reynolds an expletive before complimenting his gin and letting it pour out onto the ground.
Woah! pic.twitter.com/HnfIxrk5Dy
— Ravi Rawat (@RaviRawat737) February 6, 2019
This exchange only intensified the desire for a movie collaboration between the actors. And of course, confirmed that all of us with suspicions towards their "truce" were correct.
Holy fuck! We don’t deserve these guys. Please please please make a wolverine, dead pool movie. Or just a Ryan and Hugh buddy cop movie. Haha
— Patrick O'Donnell (@PunkBobNoPants) February 6, 2019
I second that thought ! The 2 of them together are ridiculously awesome !!
— TC (@onlyshu11) February 6, 2019
I think that's most likely how they are meant to be consumed.
— Chaoslilkat (@ChaoslilKat) February 6, 2019
When @RealHughJackman poured the gin out on his table that was the incing on the cake for me. LOL These guys need to do another movie together.
— Blake (@FresnoFCBlake) February 6, 2019
Holy shitballs, I needed that laugh.
— Gramma (@IAmTheCrew) February 6, 2019
Y'all are the only frenemies who could have made me use that word.
It appears that the truce was all a ruse, and constant trolling is the only way these two men can maintain the strength of their connection.
Valentine's Day is just around the corner. And wow, am I ever excited (for it to be over so I can eat discounted chocolate while flung dramatically against a giant throw pillow)!!!!!!!
Valentine's Day caters to stable, long-term couples and is hell for everyone else. The streets are crawling with couples in love and the pharmacy aisles are crawling with romantic gifts and sappy cards for people in committed relationships. But what if you're single? Just started seeing someone? Hate your long-term partner? Or are just bored of the same old "card & chocolates" routine? Then the Bronx Zoo's "Name a Roach" program might be just what Cupid ordered.
Veering from tired tradition, the program lets you name one of the Zoo's "Madagascar hissing cockroaches" after your sweetie (or ex-sweetie), who will receive a digital certificate of confirmation. All for the tune of only $15. This is a gift that works for everyone—whether it's a guy you've been casually banging, your husband of 88 years, your dirtbag ex Ethan, or even you!
Why a roach, specifically, you may ask? Because roaches live forever and never leave no matter how many times you fumigate the house. Just like love!!!!!!!!
And sure, cockroaches are gross. But, let's face it, so is love. As the website explains:
After the chocolates have been eaten and the flowers wilt, roaches remain thriving and triumphant.
If there was ever an outside-the-box way to immortalize your thriving and triumphant love (or hate), it's this.
And no worries if you're currently swinging single, this gift also works for past sweeties. No matter how messy your breakup, naming a cockroach after your ex is the perfect way to say "just wanted you to know, even though we broke up years ago, I still think of you and wish you nothing but the worst."
And for those willing to dish out more than $15 for the person who makes your heart go "badump-badump" there's also a VIP package which includes an adorable roach beanie and roach mug along with the naming certificate. Can you think of anything more romantic?????????
Maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all.
Note: this content is sponsored by the Bronx Zoo. Even if it weren't, I'd be ordering one for every single one of my exes.
The view that everyone in America deserves to make a living wage is a hot new idea, if you consider President Franklin Delano Roosevelt hot and new.
A conservative on Facebook posted about their opposition to every job providing its employees with enough money to live, arguing that "flipping burgers and bagging groceries" are positions for teens—not adults with mortgages.
"Those jobs are meant to be teens first jobs to make some money and learn responsibilities, not create careers," they wrote.
Well, class is in session, and the person got schooled by a history buff with knowledge of FDR's original intent when crafting labor law and the ethics and morality of respecting services workers. (This sounds boring but it's a fun read, I swear!)
Let's break it down!
It's true: on June 16, 1933, FDR delivered a statement on the National Industrial Recovery Act. The second President Roosevelt called back to his first Inaugural Address, where he pitched the hot take that nobody in the United States should starve.
In my Inaugural I laid down the simple proposition that nobody is going to starve in this country. It seems to me to be equally plain that no business which depends for existence on paying less than living wages to its workers has any right to continue in this country. By "business" I mean the whole of commerce as well as the whole of industry; by workers I mean all workers, the white collar class as well as the men in overalls; and by living wages I mean more than a bare subsistence level-I mean the wages of decent living.
At a 1938 Fireside Chat, FDR basically said that any employer who says that paying well would be bad for business is a liar and an asshole.
Do not let any calamity-howling executive with an income of $1,000 a day, who has been turning his employees over to the Government relief rolls in order to preserve his company's undistributed reserves, tell you – using his stockholders’ money to pay the postage for his personal opinions — tell you that a wage of $11.00 a week is going to have a disastrous effect on all American industry.
According to history, the minimum wage was always supposed to be a living wage, so saying that service jobs are merely "starter jobs" is just elitist.
Plus, these jobs were never meant for teens—teens are meant for school.
Next time your Fox News Uncle argues against a living wage, note that the president who FOUGHT THE NAZIS was all for it.
Praise be the parents of genealogical wonder-boy Zac Efron and his brother, stack of muscles, Dylan Efron, for being majestic beauties of the universe.
Zac Efron is famous for being an adorable product of the star-making machine at The Disney Channel and his brother is luckily just as adorable.
Dylan Efron describes himself on Instagram as a "Film maker, writer, athlete, and "outdoor enthusiast." Not sure about that last one, Dylan, the wild outdoors is scary and full of bugs. Luckily, his instagram is filled with fun and flirty thirst traps like this:
And this:
Which is why it makes sense that when Zac shared a photo for his brother's birthday, the internet got really thirsty. Behold, the gifts:
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Zac Efron (@zacefron) on
Happy birthday to my little brother and best friend @DylanEfron. Proud of the man you have grown to become and so grateful to be on this journey with you. pic.twitter.com/mhs3C89xRg
— Zac Efron (@ZacEfron) February 7, 2019
1.
It’s Dylan Efron’s birthday, but Zac gave us all a gift. pic.twitter.com/2UPP6KMUb9
— Taylor Banks (@MsTaylorBanks) February 6, 2019
2.
Someone should probably tell Zac Efron not to thirst trap with his brother...
— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) February 6, 2019
...but it’s not going to be me. pic.twitter.com/tRypaVAqhN
3.
Zac Efron's whole life is a thirst trap.
— the Girl With the ❤️ Tattoo (@courtc19) February 6, 2019
4.
I just want to thank the parents of Zac and Dylan Efron for making such masterpieces. What an incredible job on these two creatures. Thank you for blessing this world with art.
— Macy Jo (@mhenson22) February 6, 2019
5.
Zac Efron has a hot, younger brother I REPEAT, ZAC EFRON HAS A HOT YOUNGER BROTHER
— Alyssa Labelle (@lysslabelle) February 7, 2019
6.
It's Zac Efron's brother's birthday, but somehow we feel like it's ours? pic.twitter.com/dfT2IRlbDJ
— E! News (@enews) February 7, 2019
7.
— camila (@CamiAstorino) February 7, 2019
8.
sexy men yep
— BLONDY (@superblonndy) February 7, 2019
9.
God bless this family’s genes!
— Tatiana (@33Tati_) February 7, 2019
10.
WOW!! 🔥🔥🔥
— Tara (@TaraKeller74) February 7, 2019
11.
Well damn. Obviously fineness runs in the family! 😳
— Jaclyn (@Jaclyn908) February 7, 2019
12.
i was today years old whenever i found out zac efron had a brother
— key (@keyannaforeman) February 7, 2019
13.
Wait!??! Zac Efron has a brother 😩pic.twitter.com/uW9HDxEIMs
— 𝓣𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵🗝☮⚛♓️ (@TaraAngel94) February 7, 2019
14.
Just found out @zacefron has a younger brother...
— Heart (@thisisheart) February 7, 2019
You're welcome 😈pic.twitter.com/1FbseFQf38
15.
Zac Efron’s brother .......dream literally a dream👅👀🤤🤤pic.twitter.com/DQLYVvmdS9
— Sa⭐️ (@dirttyponyy) February 7, 2019
16.
A little something for your Wednesday- Zac Efron frolicking in a waterfall with his brother. pic.twitter.com/VnuiF0fQx3
— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) February 7, 2019
Advocating for comfortable boundaries at the doctor's office can be a tricky and uncomfortable process no matter what, and this feeling is multiplied if you're a woman getting a mammogram.
After encountering multiple uncomfortable experiences with a male doctor, Sarah Silverman posted on Instagram about why she's decided to switch to a new mammographer, this time, a woman.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Sarah Silverman (@sarahkatesilverman) on
She wrote about the ways his behavior fell outside the bounds of professionalism, and how seemingly small behaviors like not wearing gloves and brushing up against her with his fingers made the experience tense.
"I had a shitty time at my mammogram appt today.
I have to get an ultrasound after my mammograms because I have dense breasts (insert joke here) and this radiologist — the same man I had last year — I do not like him and here is why:
He opened my gown and put gel on my breasts and smeared it around with his bare hands. Then he started talking to me about my chest X-ray (I also got a chest X-Ray) and was pontificating with my boobs just out and covered in gel and cold and finally I said 'Hey-can we either talk about this when I’m dressed or WHILE your doing the ultrasound? I’m not comfortable with my breasts out just shooting the shit with you'"
"Okay so — he smears the gel on with his hands and NO GLOVES on and when he glides the ultrasound wand thing over my breasts he drags his fingers on them and it fucking bothers me. Again, AS I TOLD HIM LAST YEAR, I said “Hey! Do you need to be touching me with your fingers?” He said “No”. And he pulled them off of me. Then he added “I do that for balance.” I said “Well I believe in you and I think you can do with without your fingers on me”
"Look, I truly don’t think he was getting off on it, BUT it is his job to be aware that this is vulnerable for a woman. Wear fucking GLOVES - this isn’t a date. For him to be so arrogant that he didn’t even internalize the problem when I said something to him about it last year is obnoxious and probably a subconscious power thing if we’re getting deep."
"That was my last mammogram with this dude. Or any dude.
Look. I’m a grown woman and I’m fine. But this guy does this with everyone and I know that personally it took many years into adulthood before I spoke up for myself. It’s uncomfortable and too easy to think it’s all in your head. And arrogant fucks like this doctor take advantage of women’s socialized instinct to not speak up.
All this to say speak up. Trust that thing in your gut that tells you this shit ain’t right."
While Silverman wrote that she doesn't think the doctor was intentionally trying to creep her out, she also noted that he didn't change his behavior after she called out her own discomfort, and that it's crucial people - women in particular, listen to our instincts when it comes to what makes us feel off.
This need for boundaries applies across the board, but in situations as vulnerable as the doctor's office the stakes are even higher, so it's nice to see someone with a platform as huge as Silverman speak to this need.
Ann Coulter is having a racist meltdown after Media Matters investigative reporter Eric Hananoki reported that an ICE senior adviser loves her racist meltdowns.
ICE senior adviser Jon Feere is an Ann Coulter superfan who frequently promoted and quoted her columns containing bigotry against immigrants. https://t.co/OXoF3J0uuK
— Eric Hananoki (@ehananoki) February 7, 2019
Hananoki reports:
Before joining U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as a senior official, Jon Feere repeatedly praised Ann Coulter and promoted her bigoted columns against immigrants. In those pieces, Coulter asked, "What's the upside of admitting 250,000 poor, culturally backward, non-English-speaking Muslims every year?"; said, "We want remarkable Americans, not immigrants whose selling point is: 'hasn't blown anything up yet'"; and told "angry Muslims" criticizing "anti-Muslim bigotry in the U.S." to go live in "low-rent mud huts" overseas.
Racist Ann Coulter, whose whole career is being racist, doesn't appreciate being called racist. Coulter is insulted that Hananoki pointed out that her racist columns are being implemented as racist policies by a racist agency, so she decided to attack Hananoki for being Asian.
If you're on Twitter, here's the link to report them as harassment.
Would encourage folks to go to Ann Coulter's feed & report the tweets in her racist meltdown targeting @ehananokipic.twitter.com/wwaH6nxTMQ
— jordan (@JordanUhl) February 7, 2019
Hananoki updated his article to reflect her reaction.
Weird Thursday: "Update (2/7/19): Ann Coulter responded to this piece on Twitter by repeatedly attacking me for being Asian." https://t.co/OXoF3J0uuK
— Eric Hananoki (@ehananoki) February 7, 2019
When Hanonoki's colleague Matthew Gertz called the racist meltdown a racist meltdown, she signaled to her fans (in and out of ICE) that he's Jewish...
Oh cool, Ann Coulter signaling to her followers that I'm Jewish, this should end well. pic.twitter.com/Jk31fGt5A5
— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) February 7, 2019
...and they got the message loud and clear.
Update: They got the message. pic.twitter.com/vASEtppvQc
— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) February 7, 2019
Gertz's father does not work in the hedge fund industry, but all Jews must be in finance, right?
(The Jew writing this post is EXTREMELY not in finance and is just a humble blogger.)
For some reason, Coulter believes that only black people can call out racism, tweeting that it's awful for "Asians and Jews" to do so.
Good lord. Ann Coulter’s racist meltdown now includes “Asians & Jews” pic.twitter.com/dLKMLqsHFG
— Andy Campbell (@AndyBCampbell) February 7, 2019
I hate to spread this stuff—because it's terrible for the world—but it's important to know what nonsense this beehive of a person is telling the president and his fans.
Coulter's angle is that civil rights and immigrant's rights are somehow mutually exclusive, trying to pit groups against each other even though attacking minorities is her job.
Stop pretending you care about black Americans when the rest of your domestic policy views are built on maintaining an anti-black status quo. This shit is so fucking insidious how the fuck do you sleep at night
— Beto O'Dourke (@Mussolini_69) February 7, 2019
She also thinks that civil rights are only for descendants of slaves, which is straight-up insane.
Civil Rights law are for all U.S. citizens and for your dumbass info jim crow laws started with Native Americans and later included a person of color. So our civil rights to include our bill of rights is for US citizens both native and born here. pic.twitter.com/XvmE1EOpJy
— Ade🌻/🌹 (@AdeUSAGreenLib) February 7, 2019
Stop pretending you care about black Americans when the rest of your domestic policy views are built on maintaining an anti-black status quo. This shit is so fucking insidious how the fuck do you sleep at night
— Beto O'Dourke (@Mussolini_69) February 7, 2019
Needless to say, take Coulter's newfound passion for the black community's "special place in this country" to try and whip up rage against immigrants with an ENTIRE MOUNTAIN of salt.
Coulter is a racist nutcase and should be treated as such.
Here's a refreshing reminder to restore your faith in humanity. Some people are actually good? I know, it's a lot to take in.
There have been a lot of conversations going viral lately between someone trying to sell something, only to be confronted with a cheap and entitled freeloader demanding that an item be totally free of charge. It's always shocking to see how shamelessly awful some people can be, but this viral exchange featured on Reddit has an interesting twist.
When someone decided to sell their car for $1200, they decided that an act of kindness can sometimes be more important than payment.
Whoever got this car definitely struck gold. And to the person selling it, you definitely have some great karma headed your way.
The debate around abortion rights has been raging more than usual in the past few weeks, ever since the New York's Reproductive Health Act was passed on the 46th anniversary of Roe V. Wade.
The new law effectively decriminalizes abortion and allows women to get the procedure up until gestation in cases where their health is endangered. Unfortunately, the backlash against this law (and others like it) has enabled a wave of misinformation, with many claiming women are deciding to terminate pregnancies at eight months willy-nilly.
This myth of the spontaneous 'late term abortion' has been debunked by both gynecologists and women who have had abortions themselves.
And in a recent thread, Megan LeBlanc shared precisely why shaming women and calling them "baby killers" is so deeply toxic.
She opened up the thread by clarifying that while she hasn't personally had an abortion, one of her recent birth experiences mirrored the trauma and loss many women have experienced with the procedure.
This debate about “late-term” and “post-term” abortion has been eating away at me for the last week. I’ve mostly been ignoring it and not arguing with people because this is a topic that hits too close to home for me. I have never had an abortion, but let me explain. 1/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
In December 2009, my husband and I were expecting our first child. Our daughter. Her name was Jillian, but we were waiting until her birth to share her name.
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
It was a Saturday night. We were going to a Christmas party. I was 24 weeks pregnant. Out of nowhere, my water broke. 2/
We rushed to the hospital. I was completely dilated and effaced. Turns out I have an incompetent cervix. The plan was to keep me pregnant and infection free. We had a NICU consult. 3/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
It didn’t seem real. I was more worried about getting my laptop to the hospital so I didn’t fall behind on work. A few hours later, my doctor was basically on top of me, trying to find Jillian’s heartbeat on the monitor. 4/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
She shared that her daughter was one pound and nine ounces, and the doctors were only able to keep her alive by hooking her up to machines, the baby's brain was bleeding.
Next thing I knew, I was in an OR, being poked in the side with a yellow cocktail toothpick to see if my spinal was working yet.
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
Minutes later, my 1lb9oz beautiful baby girl made two soft cries, and was then rushed away so they could try to save her life. 5/
We spent the next 96 hours at Jillian’s bedside, slowly watching her go from pink to yellow to gray. She had a small brain bleed. Then she had a “catastrophic” brain bleed. She was only alive because of machines. She had no brain activity. 6/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
LeBlanc and her partner were given the choice to keep their daughter alive for as long as possible on machines, with the knowledge that she'd never speak, walk, be able to communicate with them, and she likely wouldn't make it out of infancy. Essentially, it was a choice in how long they would wait for her infantile death.
We had to decide if we would keep her on machines for as long as her body could take it. She would never know us. She would never speak, walk, think, or anything. We decided to let her go. We didn’t want that “life” for her. 7/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
The decision was painfully devastating, but clear given the grim reality.
To say it destroyed us is an understatement. I didn’t know how to take my next breath. It was a long, dark road, but we eventually made our way back to the light. We have had two more beautiful, healthy children, but my heart is still taped together 9 years later. 8/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
LeBlanc clarified that she was sharing her experience because in many ways, it is similar to the late term procedures women are being called "baby killers" for. Anti-choice rhetoric is labeling people as murderers when they're in the middle of grief, which is emotionally devastating for multiple reasons.
Why am I sharing this in a debate about abortion when obviously i did not have one? Because the parents who are having these procedures that people are calling infanticide are going through the same devastation and grief that my husband and I faced. Our families grieved. 9/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
These parents aren’t deciding on a whim that they don’t want a baby anymore. These are wanted, loved, wished for babies. They are sick or dying, or will die as soon as they’re born, and their parents are making a loving choice to avoid any (more) pain or suffering. 10/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
We had the same moment of the floor dropping out from under us as the doctors relayed the news that the child we had been imagining would never be. And it hurts like something that only parents who have lost children can understand. 11/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
Compared to these women who had to make this awful decisions, I’m lucky. My baby had a chance. I got to hear her two tiny cries. I got to hold her and kiss her and sing to her and hold her in my arms as she died. Again, I am lucky. 12/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
Please, stop calling people baby killers. Stop making up terms to make this life-altering decision sound nefarious. Through support groups and online forums, I know many women who have had to have these procedures. 13/
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
They are grieving just as much as I am, if not more. They deserve compassion, not hatred and lies. 14/14
— Megan LeBlanc (@msmeganl) February 6, 2019
People were quick to thank LeBlanc for opening up about her painful loss, particularly since it shines a light on the realities so many women have faced and experienced judgment for.
I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry this happened and I’m sorry you and your family are having to sit through this nonsense now.
— PeriodsforPence (@Periods4Pence) February 6, 2019
Thank you for having the strength and bravery to share this story. Sending you hugs and love and light.
So sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing your story. Medical decisions should be made in private, between the person involved and his or her doctor. Not by legislative fiat by people who think they know best.
— Theresa Bailey (@MTkbailey8) February 6, 2019
I hope it doesn't diminish your story to say this, but I think doctors need to come up with a better term than "incompetent cervix." That just seems to add insult to injury. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
— Jill McGregory (@JillMcGregory) February 7, 2019
At the first of our miscarriages the doctor warned us it may show up as spontaneous abortion on the insurance Explanation of Benefits.
— Maureen Makled (@MaureenMakled) February 7, 2019
Hopefully, as the debate around reproductive rights rages on, these stories will help enlighten people willing to listen.
Despite having the perfectly good option to just say nothing, Michelle Rodriguez decided to comment on Liam Neeson's casual confession of previously wanting to commit a racist hate crime.
Neeson, the new poster-boy for Keeping Your Damn Mouth Shut, said in an interview about his latest action movie Cold Pursuit that after a loved one was allegedly raped by a black man, he wandered around the city wanting to kill a black man. Any black man.
Cool cool.
Now Rodriguez is defending her Widows co-star with the hottest of takes: Neeson can't be racist because he made out with Viola Davis in their movie.
As reported by Vanity Fair, Rodriguez told the outlet at the amfAR gala in New York that Neeson can't be racist because he kissed Davis real good:
His tongue was so far down Viola Davis’s throat. You can’t call him a racist ever. Racists don’t make out with the race that they hate, especially in the way he does with his tongue—so deep down her throat. I don’t care how good of an actor you are.
The comment raises the question: are you dumb? Why are you talking? Why are you doing this?
Michelle Rodriguez: liam isnt racist he kissed that black chick in that movie...
— Big Girl Slay 💋 (@Biggirlslay) February 7, 2019
Me: pic.twitter.com/qse6HaJffK
Here is the kiss in question, which, uh, proves nothing.
This can’t be the kiss Michelle Rodriguez is talking about. This looks like a hate crime if I’ve ever seen one. 🤮 yuck. pic.twitter.com/njsspv3Ppr
— ❁Lavita Alize Jenkins❁ (@LaFawndah) February 7, 2019
People are saying that Rodriguz's comment isn't just extremely dumb, but also extremely ignorant.
The lack of historical context, bias blindness and willful ignorance required to open one’s mouth and say this about racism is mind boggling. https://t.co/vTdQoGSXMd
— shonda rhimes (@shondarhimes) February 7, 2019
Someone please tell Michelle Rodriguez that slave owners routinely raped Black women. That didn’t absolve them from being racists. Her defense of Liam Neeson is insulting.
— Stephanie. (@qsteph) February 7, 2019
Michelle Rodriguez is so fucking ignorant. Just because Liam Neeson made out with Viola Davis that doesn’t mean he’s can’t be a racist. White people could be around us and still view us as inferior and only as their sexual conquests. She needs to shut the fuck up. https://t.co/lC6twq2NEa
— 💋 (@MJFinesseLover) February 7, 2019
Even though social media has a habit of making people feel like they need to comment on everything ever, you really don't have to, Ms. Rodriguez. I promise.
Good morning my wonderful memes lovers. This utterly hilarious list of memes will totally crack you up, even if you hate mornings.
The growth of anti-vaxx communities is nothing short of a public health crisis. At the time of writing this, lawmakers in Washington state are considering passing legislation forcing parents to vaccinate their children due to a recent measles outbreak. Sadly, these fresh outbreaks have been going on for a couple of years, and they not only endanger the children of the anti-vaxxers, but small children in contact with these families.
In response, several parents have aired their legitimate anger and grievances against anti-vaxxers, and a viral post from concerned mother Jennifer Hibben-White has been resurfacing due to its continued relevance.
At the time of writing the post, Hibben-White was monitoring her 15 day old son Griffin due to his exposure to measles. Luckily, this was originally posted a few years ago, and he is now safe. However, unfortunately the anti-vaxxing trend has continued, and her sentiments stand.
This is my son Griffin, and he may have measles. On February 9th, I received a phone call from York Region Public...
Posted by Jennifer Hibben-White on Tuesday, February 10, 2015
In her post, Hibben-White laid out why anti-vaxxer arguments are not only scientifically incorrect, but also present a serious risk of death for small children.
"This is my son Griffin, and he may have measles.
On February 9th, I received a phone call from York Region Public Health, informing me that Griffin, alongside my mother and I, was potentially exposed to the measles virus while attending a newborn weigh-in appointment at my doctor’s office in Markham on January 27th.
Griffin was 15 days old at the time."
"I was informed that someone who later developed measles sat in the doctor’s waiting room between 1 hour before and 30 minutes before we arrived. I was also informed that measles is regarded as “airborne” and can stay in the air and on surfaces up to 2 hours after the infected person has left.
I was then asked if I had had the measles vaccine. I had.
Griffin. Griffin had not. Can not."
She shared that due to Griffin's age, he was unable to receive vaccines yet, and similarly, due to his young age, measles would pose an existential threat. After exposure, Hibben-White was forced to quarantine herself and Griffin until receiving news.
"I was advised to not be around small children. If I worked in such an environment I would be written off work. I do work in such an environment; my home. Where I now sit with Griffin and my 3 year old, Aurelia, who has only been able to get one MMR vaccine so far. She is now, technically, exposed too. We are to sit tight and watch for symptoms: fever, cough, runny nose. If we develop any of these we are to call my doctor and arrange to come in under official medical precautions. We are to wait at home, in isolation, until February 17th, after which the 21 days of possible incubation will have passed and we are clear.
So, Griffin is now Schrödinger’s baby. Simultaneously with measles, and without it. Until he develops symptoms, or until a further 7 days pass. One or other.
And I’m angry. Angry as hell."
She then laid out the reasons she blames anti-vaxxers for the position her son was put in, and how not vaccinating your child is a public health theart.
"I won’t get angry at or blame the person in the waiting room. I would have likely done the same thing...you get sick, you go to the doctor. I have no idea what their story is and I will never know. But I do know one thing: If you have chosen to not vaccinate yourself or your child, I blame you.
I blame you.
You have stood on the shoulders of our collective protection for too long. From that high height, we have given you the PRIVILEGE of our protection, for free. And in return, you gave me this week. A week from hell. Wherein I don’t know if my BABY will develop something that has DEATH as a potential outcome.
DEATH."
She also decried all of the scientifically debunked reasons people cite for not getting vaccinations.
"Now, let’s unpack this shall we. All out on the table.
You have NO IDEA what this “potential outcome” means. NO IDEA. I do. Unfortunately, I do.
You think you are protecting your children from thimerosal? You aren’t. It’s not in their vaccine.
You think you are protecting them from autism? You aren’t. There is no, none, nada, nothing in science that proves this. If you want to use google instead of science to “prove me wrong” then I am happy to call you an imbecile as well as misinformed."
"You think you are protecting them through extracts and homeopathy and positive thoughts and Laws of Attraction and dancing by candlelight on a full moon? You aren’t. I PROTECT YOUR CHILD. We protect your child. By being concerned world citizens who care about ourselves, our fellow man, and our most vulnerable. So we vaccinate ourselves and our children."
And without mincing words, Hibben-White got straight to the point: not vaccinating your kids puts them at a huge risk of death, and it unfairly puts other children in the same position.
You think you are protecting them by letting them eat their shovel full of dirt and reducing antibiotics and eating organic? You aren’t. As an unvaccinated person you are only protected by our good graces. WE LET YOU BE SO PRIVILEGED thanks to our willingness to vaccinate ourselves and our children.
"You know what vaccines protect your children from? Pain. Suffering. Irreparable harm. Death.
She then shared about the loss of her daughter, and how if there had been any vaccination or shot to help her daughter live, she would have flocked to it. The potential death of a child, she wrote, is nothing to take lightly.
And you would be the first to line up if you had an inkling of what the death of a child feels like. You would be crawling through the streets on your hands and knees, begging, BEGGING to get that vaccine into your precious babies because that is what I would have done, if I could, to save my daughter.
The fact is, there was no vaccine for her. Not for her illness. And she died. She died at age five and a half, and she is gone."
"And I watch these arguments trotted out on Facebook and twitter citing false science and long discredited“studies” that just won’t stop and Jenny McCarthy quotes and “it’s MY choice” to not vaccinate...and I think...what would you have done if your child lay dying? Would you give them a scientifically proven, safe and effective vaccine and risk the minuscule likelihood of a side effect? Or would you let them go, knowing that at least they won’t develop autism (which they wouldn’t even develop anyway because SCIENCE)?"
She ended her post by imploring anti-vaxxers to rethink their selfish stance, for the sake of Griffin and their own children.
"And don’t you DARE tell me that you wouldn’t vaccinate them then. Don’t you dare. You have no idea what it feels like to go through what we went through.
So, look at Griffin. Tell me why he gets to bear the brunt of your stupidity and reckless abuse of our protection? Tell me.
Seven more days until I know that my baby is safe. Seven more days.
How is your week going, anti-vaxxers?"
While this post was written four years ago, its resurfaced due to the sad relevance of it today. Hopefully, anti-vaxx parents will listen and rethink their dangerous philosophy.
Today's 'murdered by words' installment comes from a source so obvious, it feels stupid to state it outright: Donald Trump, Jr. Lil' Don tweeted in support of his father's proposed border wall and got taken down with words - and facts. Multiple salient facts that counter his xenophobic reasoning for why a massive wall would decrease homicide rates in the United States. So yes, Don Jr. was murdered by words while discussing actual murder. How fitting!
@HowardGabert is a mild-mannered Canadian with 96 Twitter followers who debunked Don's nonsensical tweet AND the proposed border wall in less than 280 characters. That's impressive! I wonder if everyone from Wheatley, Ontario is so quick to draw - and capable of leveling such a massive foe. Sure, Don's no intellectual - but he has legions of followers and social (media) clout. Howard is a guy with a Twitter account whose blistering response resonated with people from all over the world.
There it is. The correct answer. Move to the front of the class.
— HydrogenAlpha (@alpha_hydrogen) February 6, 2019
Donald, back into the corner and put the hat on.
👏👏👏👏👏pic.twitter.com/MRHtabPWHu
— Яⓡ 👾 (@rKrJr) February 8, 2019
Just outstanding Howard! 👍🏽
— STEELblueRU? (@WannaBgolferTX) February 6, 2019
tweet of the day right here. #proudcanadian
— CJLouis (@The_CJLouis) February 6, 2019
This tweet response is EVERYTHING.
— bESS✌️ (@Poet_AndTheBeat) February 7, 2019
Great work, Howard! You make the Internet better.
It is with a heavy heart I report to you that according to Jeff Bezos, there are Jeff Bezos dick pics, and the richest man on the planet was being blackmailed by the president's favorite supermarket tabloid.
The CEO of Amazon wrote in a Medium post on Thursday that American Media Inc., the publisher of The National Enquirer led by David Pecker, was in posession of Bezos' amateur boudoir photography, and threatened to release them unless Bezos stops his investigation into how Pecker got the pecker photos in the first place.
I’ve written a post about developments with the National Enquirer and its parent company, AMI. You can find it here: https://t.co/G1ykJAPPwy
— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) February 7, 2019
Pecker, you may recall, is a friend of President Trump's, who has an immunity deal with the Department of Justice "related to their role in the so-called 'Catch and Kill' process on behalf of President Trump and his election campaign."
Bezos published an email from AMI that described the nine personal pictures in their possession, which include:
A "below the belt selfie — otherwise colloquially known as a ‘d*ck pick'"
A shirtless Mr. Bezos holding his phone in his left hand — while wearing his wedding ring. He’s wearing either tight black cargo pants or shorts — and his semi-erect manhood is penetrating the zipper of said garment.
A naked selfie in a bathroom — while wearing his wedding ring. Mr. Bezos is wearing nothing but a white towel — and the top of his pubic region can be seen.
The photos were meant to be seen by Bezos' mistress Lauren Sanchez, and only Bezos' mistress Lauren Sanchez.
The internet was forced to reckon with the knowledge that Bezos dick pics are floating in the ether, and couldn't help but imagine what the richest penis in the world looks like.
this is what Jeff Bezos’ dick looks like pic.twitter.com/G2q7VyLaet
— Chris Cilizza Dance Party (@woke_hoover) February 8, 2019
Jeff Bezos’ penis definitely just looks like Jeff Bezos pic.twitter.com/buRy1pLxr5
— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) February 7, 2019
Jeff Bezos’ penis has been brought in for questioning. pic.twitter.com/SQv6JYqvy9
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) February 8, 2019
Believe it or not, the story gets even juicier than the dick pics, because there are allegedly government entities involved, from both America and Saudi Arabia.
In his Medium post, Bezos wrote that Pecker and AMI are under investigation "for various actions they’ve taken on behalf of the Saudi Government," noting that the tabloid recently published a special, pro-Saudi propaganda edition. The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has a fatal antipathy towards The Washington Post, having recently murdered one of its writers, Jamal Khashoggi.
In March 2018, @attackerman reported on the shady dealings of American Media Inc., which Bezos is accusing of extortion. It isn't your grocery gossip mag. "It’s selling America on fellow Trump ally, Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman" https://t.co/hmep5HMSNN
— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) February 8, 2019
Sure, the Saudis may be involved, but Bezos' team reportedly thinks that the pics were released by his friendly neighborhood feds.
Washington Post reporter Manuel Roig-Franzia reports that a leading theory is that the pics were intercepted by a "government entity," and yeah, that definitely seems like something Trump would do.
Washington Posts @RoigFranzia says Bezos' team thinks it's possible that the text leaks were politically motivated and that a "government entity" accessed the Bezos texts and hoo boy that's certainly something pic.twitter.com/MQuzNFbCed
— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) February 8, 2019
Amateur sleuths not on Bezos' security team belive that Trump using the national security apparatus to spy on someone he considers to be his nemesis is entirely consistent with Trump's behavior.
Does anyone believe that the president who called on Russia to hack opponent's emails would hesitate to call on US intel/security agencies to dig dirt on perceived billionaire nemesis? The only far-fetched part is that US intel/security agencies would do his bidding. https://t.co/TSd9zaQCoQ
— Greg Miller (@gregpmiller) February 8, 2019
Makes zero sense Pecker/AMI would risk extorting Bezos unless to stop Bezos from finding WH fingerprints on text hack. At last Trump scandals have their own Watergate break-in.
— Frank Rich (@frankrichny) February 8, 2019
Maybe it's not the Saudis or Trump—it's possible it's both?
Are Donald Trump and the murderous Saudi Prince bin Salman co-conspirators with David Pecker and AMI in a failed criminal plot to blackmail and extort Jeff Bezos as owner of the Washington Post? Asking for a friend in the Southern District of New York.
— Laurence Tribe (@tribelaw) February 8, 2019
I'd say there's a 100% chance that Trump ordered the spying to find out if Bezos’ dick is bigger.
If you remember the early 2000s, then this hilarious meme list will give you major nostalgia. Who's ready to go back to the days of low rise jeans, flip phones, and Spice Girls?