It would be great if Nazis and the KKK were a thing of the past, but they're not. It's 2019 and people with hateful, bigoted views exist everywhere from the line at Chick Fil-A to the White House. Like cockroaches, they are an infestation. And in order for us to eliminate the problem, we have to shine a light on it to see where it comes from and what causes it.

Someone recently asked Reddit: "former members of hate groups (KKK, Neo-Nazi groups, etc.), what made you join, and what made you quit?" These brutally honest responses are a reminder that bigotry often comes from a place of ignorance, self-loathing and alienation. And though that doesn't excuse this kind of behavior, at least these stories remind us that change is possible.

1.) iamwntr shares:

I'm from the UK, and there was a skinhead/mod group at my school when I was about 14-15. I made friends with them because I thought they looked quite cool and eventually ended up a full on skinhead myself.

We all met up outside of school and met some bigger, meaner skinheads. There was one guy in the group who wasn't a skinhead though. He wore a grey suit and had a classic 40s style.

I hung around with these guys for a good year, got into fights, ran from the police a lot but none of the fights were targeted towards race or anything. Anyway one day I notice that the suited 40s guy wasn't around anymore and I asked one of the big skinhead guys, he said to me he was in prison.

The suited 40s guy had kidnapped a Jewish guy, taken him into the woods, tied him up, beat him to near death and raped him. At this point I was disgusted and it turned out no one else cared and kind of laughed about it, I stopped hanging around them after that.

2.) From Ventingthroaway2579:

I never straight up became a neo-nazi, but its something I came very close to getting sucked into when I was around 12-14. For me, it wasn't about hate. It was about having and identity and fitting in with a group. I had switched schools. I had a hard time making friends, and I was bullied a lot. Like I was one of the 3 most bullied kids in a school of almost 2000. You know who didn't bully me? The neo-nazis. They were nice to me when no one else was. I just wanted friends and to feel like I was a part of a group.

I didn't know about stuff like the holocaust or what they were really about. When I started to get an idea about it is when I stopped associating with them.

3.) From 22cthulu:

I grew up in rural Arkansas in a culture of racism. If you had asked anybody if they were racist they would have vehemently denied it. My sisters-dads-best-friend who was a Klan Wizard would casually drop pejoratives like the N word, beaner, and wetback, but if you looked at him weird when he dropped the n word he'd say something along the lines of "I'm not racist I'm friends with [one black guy]" but then he'd follow it up inevitably with how smart and well spoken [one black guy] was, then how it was okay because they use the n word around [black guy], and that [black guy] was okay with it. I, being naive, believed them.

But we would go to retreats and camps regularly with them, mostly it was just floating on the river, fishing, and listening to country music and if the issue was brought up at all it was the "we have to protect Southern culture" narrative.

At first I didn't see anything wrong with what was going on, I was raised in the environment, adults I trusted said it was okay, so I just kind of went with it. Eventually things just started to not add up. A cousin dated and eventually knocked up a girl from El Salvador, and she'd come to family gatherings, but I started to notice that she'd get this weird look on her face when my family was joking around and then one day I realized that most of the jokes were racially based and a good portion of them were at her expense. After that it was like my eyes were opened and I started to see what a culture of casual racism looks like.

4.) From seamonkeybubbles:

I was about 15, 16. And like most who join these types of groups, I was looking for somewhere to fit in.

Then I found Heritage Front. A white supremacist group in Canada. I called a hotline, and they sent me a sign up thing. I filled it out and became a member. I was always so happy when the mail came because I never got any mail, but this big manilla would come every couple weeks with their pamphlets, stickers and newsletters.

I basically did my normal life thing, being an outcast, but in the back of my mind, I had a huge group of people, who wanted me in their group. Every 2 weeks, so much excitement getting the mail.

Anyway. I got a bit further into it. Started meeting people, got involved with a singer from a local wp/punk/oi band. So I dressed the part. Docs, white laces, short plaid shirt, random skinhead band shirts. God I felt so cool for once. But I didn't have a racist bone in my body. My best friend growing up, was Pakistani. My best friend at the time was Jamaican, and I was bisexual. A big no-no.

The singer wasn't a member of anything, he just liked the music and "played the part" too. But I think he was in his own little narcissistic world. He wasn't racist, he just (and still does) thinks he's better than anyone, no matter of race.

Eventually, being surrounded by such ignorance and hatred got to me. I really liked the boots, but damn, I didn't feel at all like they did. I stopped going to meetings, ended it with the guy (he went on to be a lawyer) and just walked away. I realized I really only liked being around them because of the music, style and I had a thing for skinhead guys. Ridiculous right? Well that's my story.

5.) From Insaneandhappy:

I was brutally bullied growing up. Like the kind where they broke my leg, fingers and chipped my teeth by smashing my face repeatedly into concrete tiles. One day this older kid at my school stood up for me. Helped me. Him and his friends were skinheads. They protected me and became my "friends". I grew up in a rural area where the only black people or foreign people in general were nonexistent. So it was really easy to swallow that shit about jews, blacks and sandies. Long story short my nmom moved to Sweden and brought me with her. My new school was a great big mix of people and races and I quickly learnt that my views were screwed up. Unfortunately I still find my opinions influenced by that time in my life. So I make an conscious effort to make friends of different races and nationalities nowadays.

6.) From bertbert1111:

i was at school and like 14 or 15 years old. I was friends with this dude who was 16 and he was cool and all. He always helped me to get beer and stuff. Once he asked me if i wanted to go drinking with him and his buddys.
we met in a weird cellar with a bar that looked like it was some clubhouse. My friend had the keys and first we were alone but then other people came, more students but also grown men. All were having a great time, smoking cigaretts, drinking lots of beer and joking around. looked like a jolly bunch.

Sometimes the topics they talked about were getting a little racist but even tho im not proude of it, thats pretty common in my homecountry as soon as you leave the city just a little bit.

Turns out all that was some kind of student-fraternity. I had no idea what that was, have never heared of it and all the explanations of what this is were given to me by those people. Didn´t look problematic to me, they never openly talked about being right activists or racist. When you ask around student-fraternitys are pretty common around here and normally are totally harmless. But there are a few called "schlagende Burschenschaften" who are extremely right and have questionable rituals involving getting cut in the face and stuff like that.

I was naive and stupid and didn´t even know what i was attending. I got suspicious about all of them when the tryed to explain to me why hitler actually wasn´t right by definition and how left activists distorted history to make him look bad.

When they asked me for my clothing-size because they were about to get me my uniform, i got the fuck outta there.

So thats how i drank lots of free beer with a right activist fraternity-groupe.

7.) From acdbrnout:

When I was about 12 - 15 I lived in the south of France, my town had a lot of Algerians and Moroccans and I got mugged 4 or 5 times exclusively by them. This lead me to join the FNJ (France National Jeunesse) i would go to all the meetings and we would discuss how bad immigration was and how much we hated Algerians specifically. When I was 16 I moved back to England and realised that the people of colour I met in England were lovely and the horrible people that went round starting on people or mugging people were generally white.

People are assholes not races.

8.) From GirlInTheHoop:

When I was 19 I got interested in norse mythology and connected to a group on the internet. This was back in 2001.They invited me to their yearly midsummer gathering where all members would meet up from all over the country. As soon as we got to the location I had to put the battery out of my Nokia and hand it to one of the hosts. I got it back the next day.Well it turned out that this was a gathering of right wing parties, neonazis and skinheads. They held hateful speeches and everybody cheered them on. I felt I was in the wrong place but personally liked the to people I connected with when I found the group online. One of them was kind of a big dog at this gathering and he liked me. He said something to me but I didn't really follow along and said "huh?". A guy that was around us got mad at me and said something along the lines of " The great leader (I can't remember exactly but he used some ridiculous word like Master or Majesty) talks to you and you don't even listen? You have to know what honor it is that he chose you to talk to".I am not into "leader" culture and thought this guy was an idiot.Later I ate a banana and got scolded by a dude that held a coffe, telling me bananas are from Africa and therefore I can't eat a banana because that supports the *insert N word*. I could only have german foods or scandinavian foods. I asked about his german/scandinavian coffee and he got mad.Another dude talked about killing his parents because they gave him brown eyes and hair and he hates them for not have given him the chance to be aryan.That was my first and last encounter with the group. Just a bunch of idiots!There were dozens of those weird comparisons, even where to fill gasoline to support german economics and other stuff that just wasn't thought through.

Sorry for potentially bad grammar/english/ writing!

Edit: I brought the banana.
This was 2001 or 2002 so I was 18 or 19.
For all those who say it is fake: you do you! I don't remember all the details because it was long ago and I didn't stay in contact with any of them. The right wing party were people from the NPD and their leders were quite smart, it were the followers that said the stuff about bananas etc.. That's about all I remember.

9.) From Swarlolz:

I was an incel, got laid and realized I didn’t believe what I was saying I just needed an outlet for frustration because getting laid didn’t make me magically happy like I thought it would.

10.) From brewingdog12:

I joined a gang of soccer hooligans because their post match stories back in the pub were exhilarating. (I was young and stupid). On my first trip with them we emerged from the car right into a crowd of opposition supporters. Stupidly, one of our friends (4 of us in the car) punched someone and all hell broke loose. I never even got a hand up to protect myself. I still carry the scars, 20 facial stitches. It was my one and only outing with the idiots.

11.) From WhitestBunny:

I joined because I absolutely despised myself. I slowly adopted more extreme ideals as I stated realizing I wasn't straight and I wasn't cis. All the hate I harbored towards myself I gave to people far more brave than I. My breaking point was when I found myself on a subreddit that went entirely against the beliefs I held. I had this awful, sinking feeling as I realized how wrong I was. I tried to reason with myself to verify my bullshit, awful beliefs. It didn't work.

The second nail in the coffin was when I saw an image of a transgender woman's suicide note. I looked back on all the horrible things I have said to people that were just that- people. I burned my memorabilia, I cut a lot of contacts, and I came out to myself.

I won't ever forgive myself for the person I used to be or the things I said. I consider myself a better person now, but apologies can only do so much.

I've formed the habit of challenging all my beliefs whenever I can: I put myself into environments that I may disagree with or feel uncomfortable in, simply to learn about other people's viewpoints. I think that it's an important step in de-radicalization.

12.) From I_Dindu_Nuffinz:

Well, I never thought I'd even think about touching this account again, but here we go.

From 2014 to around 2017, I was quite heavily involved in online right wing hate groups, and for that period of time was your average minority hating, queer-bashing, dyed-in-the-wool Nazi. I first met the community through online gaming, and was drawn in initially by the historical aspect (WW2 German military history, don't let people tell you it isn't a red flag because it can be.) As time went on, military fascination turned into political fascination. This was the plan of the groups leader, who was using this online game as a radicalisation tool so that he could gather followers for more 'real life' action. In 2015, I very nearly committed to joining one of his early real life plans, but it fell through before proper planning could even really being. from 2016 to 2017, I continued playing online games with this group, and yes, I was a massive trump supporter during his campaign, I saw him as a man who was going to literally 'save' the world. Around this time, I was also briefly involved in a neo-fascist political party in my country, but I never attended any meetings. It wasn't until the leader of this group actually left in 2017 to fulfil another of his real life plans (I didn't follow with him this time) that I started to question the views i had internalised. By this point, I had made a few very good friends in this group who weren't Nazis, who certainly helped with the transition out of the political circle.

After I had gained the personal courage to say to myself that I was no longer a part of the group, I was finally comfortable admitting to myself and others that I was gay, something I had hid from everyone else, and tried to completely suppress whilst I was involved in the group.

Why did I join initially? I was an angry, angry young man. Angry at the world, angry at myself, and this group provided me a means to express that anger. My reasoning at the time was that I had had 'bad experiences' with people of african descent (In reality, these experiences had nothing to do with their race, it was just an easy scapegoat for me.) The group also had a very strong sense of camaraderie between its members, which was appealing to a lonely, younger me.

What exactly made me start questioning my views? I honestly can't really say, there wasn't really a single moment that defined my leaving. I do remember someone once telling me that one day I would "look back at what you once were and what you once thought, and realise how stupid you were." I laughed him off at the time and threw a few slurs his way, but, thankfully, I suppose he had the last laugh. The whole experience has left me with a disdain for politics, such that I'm still trying to find the trust in myself to reenter that aspect of society (In a non extremist way). Eventually, the leader of this group was booted out of his own 'real-life' organisation, renounced his former political views, and came out as gay. We have spoken since about our personal experiences, and I do believe he has truly reformed as I did.

Unfortunately, the group he started, and many others like it, is still out there. People usually think of the right wing as boomer Trump supporters, but I don't think people realise how deep and 'underground' these views and groups can go. I think that right wing extremism will be the 'mainstream' terrorism of the future, if it hasn't already become so.

Finally, I would like to apologise to every person that I have harmed, directly or indirectly, with my views. You need not forgive me, as I don't think I really deserve it, but I can truly say as a reformed person that I am sorry.

13.) From Der_Absender:

At first I was a nationalist. The kind of guy that supported violence against the not German people, but never actually did something. A follower, without a group even. Many in my (college? We were around 14yo maybe) class were like me. So I could fit in, but not really. If everyone is like this, there is no need to befriend the outcasts. As time went by I became more nationalist, racist and fascist. I built my identity around my nation, the culture long gone and celebrating national socialism as a revival of the German culture. I simply... Ignored the madness and brutality they committed. I knew it and I knew it happened. But the pure scale of it fascinated me and thus the horror was way to abstract to actually comprehend I believe. I think the thought that Germany could wage war against the whole world and was a threat, fueled my nationalism and was the driving motor behind the radicalization of my mind. The raw power of "us".

A comment online changed my point of view: "if you were born 1000km to the west, you would be a proud French, 1000 km east, you would be a proud Pole. Your whole identity is just a construct of chance." I saw that they were right. Since the very basis of my believe was a game of dice, so was everyone's. The French people were French by accident just as the Germans, the jews etc. But we tried to punish them for this randomness. We tried to exterminate them for this randomness. I finally saw the madness and brutality and quit immediately.

14.) From girlintheyellowshirt:

When I was 13 I started dating this boy i had been friends with for a few years already. He would just straight up tell me he was a racist, like that was something that would impress me or something. I thought he was just being edgy, and it did weird me out but heck I was just excited for the attention at the time.

A couple weeks into our "relationship" he tells me point blank "Jews are bad people". I took a second, and just asked him what he even meant by that? Like, there are good and bad people of every race, how can he just make a big statement like that? 13 y/o me was too desensitized to racism at that point so I really didn't understand the implications of this guy's beliefs, but at least I knew they didn't make much sense.

Anyway, we broke up shortly thereafter but stayed friends and a couple years later he thanked me for making him rethink his stances on race and told me that he was a changed person. And he really is, we stayed in touch and he has become a really well-rounded, mature, anti-racist person. And I promise I've grown up a lot too and I take racism very seriously now as well.

15.) From peppermintchili:

I was with the nazis. Like for real, our hateful drawing teacher would always imprint in our heads how one race is better than the other and should be killed. Fucking brainwashed us, I was about 12 at the time. I joined one of the nazi groups in our class who was fully against homosexuals, jews, black people, etc. One day I was outside with a friend and made a pretty bad joke, then they asked where I heard it and told them "in my class". After that I dropped the class and thought about how wrong it was tbh. I ain't proud of it but hell it was an experience

​​​​​​16.) From jfdlaks:

I joined the KKK (as a goof on one of my black friends) in 7th grade by filling out an application online. I had to digitally sign a paper promising that I have never and will never date or associate with anyone who isn’t a white American. Still have my certificate and everything. I definitely feel bad for paying those people a $40 application fee but, eh, they probably just spent it on beer. She thought it was funny btw.

Now it’s just a great story to tell at parties. “I’m technically a klansman”

The labels "psychopath" and "sociopath" are often thrown around interchangeably by those of us with no formal psychological training. Their interchangeability is usually pinned to a basic portrait of a person without emotional or moral qualms, who can actively hurt or manipulate others without regret or remorse.

Of course, Mindhunter examples aside, there are a huge variety of ways psychopathy or sociopathy can show up - most of them time in nonviolent careerism or pragmatism. There is also much to be said about the dehumanizing nature of labeling people psychopaths or sociopaths without having a bigger picture of a person's upbringing and medical reality. Also, if we're being honest with ourselves, many of us are guilty of these behaviors on a smaller scale.

That being said, there are people who can hurt others without remorse or emotional reactivity, and they often become the subjects of public horror and fascination. Particularly, when they go on to become violent criminals or threats to the safety of others.

In a recent Reddit thread, psychologists and counselors shared the moments they worked with clients with psychopathic qualities, and it'll make you extra wary of manipulation.

1. loginthingie pointed out that psychopaths can be incredibly dense.

"Everybody always thinks of psychopaths as some clever, devious, silence of the lambs types but what about the ones that are thick as two short planks? Plenty of them getting locked up in prisons every day. It's less "oh no my primal fear receptors" and more "oh no, I have to listen to Barry the boring c*nt wax lyrical about himself for another hour"."

2. betrayalatitsfinest remembers the moment with a shiver.

"Clinical psychologist here.

At first I didn't know. If anything, given the context he was more put together than most of my patients. The subject of his criminal past came up. I only knew he had served prison time some years before, not what he was in for. I had met with him a month or two when this came up."

"Turns out it was two separate sentences served. Both were for rape. In both cases he was the exact thing we are afraid of: a guy lurking in a dark alley jumping a drunk girl."

"He told me about these things as if he was talking about the weather. When it dawned on me that he expressed no remorse or guilt whatsoever I got the same cold, gut-wrenching kind of primal fear you feel when you're out for a walk and almost step on snake."

3. coralfever interviewed a woman with no remorse about shooting a baby.

"When I was a student we had an interview with a lady that killed her baby child with a handgun because it cried so much that she couldn't take it. At first we weren't told that she was a psychopath and we were just told to listen to her side of the story. She was reading us from her journal that she made while she was in the institution."

"Not once did she mentioned that she was sad that her baby died, or how what she did was bad. She was just reading angry thoughts about her husband that left her and turned her in the police about what she did. She was justifying the killing because the baby was so unbearable and once she mentioned that she was angry and mad that her husband did not believe her that she didn't have any other choice but to kill the baby. She was very smart and well spoken and the whole time she was speaking she was trying to make us feel sorry for her for being locked up. We later learned that sometimes she was lying about not killing her baby and other times just brag about it, depending on who she was speaking with. Very normal looking person and very good speaker."

"Edit : Wow, was not expecting this much upvotes. So to answer some of your questions. I am not from the US and I don't think her name will matter to any of you. She was not schizophrenic nor had postpartum psychosis (if she did she would have felt any kind of remorse about what she did, which she did not) When I said normal person I meant it in a way that if I was talking to her in any other situation but this (in a mental institution) I would have no idea that she is a psychopath. She killed her baby only for one simple reason, at the moment it just wouldn't stop crying. She didn't try to hide it or anything, at first she lied to her husband that it was by accident but than she admitted."

4. almostfrasier has become familiar with different emotional tactics.

"Current psychologist working in a prison here

I've worked with three individuals I dare say would have met the criteria for anti social personality disorder within the last 2 weeks. One commonality is that they use behaviours as tools to benefit only themselves. Self harm not because they wish to hurt themselves but to use it as a tool to lure staff into the cell to incite violence/gain extra medication/be sent to the SHU which comes with a status boost."

"One person offered to get me a comfortable chair when we were in a session, not for my benefit but so that they could ensure I stuck around for longer to talk with them. A lot of positive impression management also, sometimes you feel they care but there's unfortunately an ulterior motive"

5. cakeanalytics listened to someone coldly describe themselves murdering children.

"The PCL-SV

That and when he was describing how he murdered two kids. He had no affect. Didn't name them. Justified his actions as not serious etc. Took a few sessions to acknowledge the murder of the second child. He was in denial, assuming I wouldn't like him if I knew he killed the other one too."

6. Stokbakko spotted it in a child.

"When telling that “he kept thinking about how killing people would be more fun than “lame” animals” (stray cats and dogs and everything else he could catch). Only 11 years old."

7. dirtmilkwithwater saw it in their own mother.

"Not a psych but I was in the room where my mum was being evaluated.

Well I wasn’t in the room, it was like a police interrogation room with the one way glass. I was there because they needed to interview me for an outsiders perspective. Anyways, my mum got arrested on suspicion to commit a violent crime. To set the scene, she was handcuffed to a table and she was pissed. She’s always had volatile anger issues due to heavy drug and alcohol use."

"She was being talked to, questioned, all this other stuff, I was there for about 3 hours. She kept running this lady in circles to divert her from the actual problem. She was insanely calm answering questions about various things that would scare a normal person. She barely showed empathy for anything and it was terrifying for me to watch. I knew she wasn’t right in the head anyways, she was abusive to both my brother and I. But seeing how she handled the situation at hand, I’m glad I got out of there or it would’ve gotten much worse."

"I haven’t talked to her in about four years but she’s tried to get in contact. I cant trust her and don’t think I ever will again."

8. Infactinfarctinfart heard a confession they wish they hadn't.

"Not a psychologist, but a nurse who sees way too many psych cases. One time I had a pt who was brought in after trying to break into a families house while they were home. He was on my telemetry unit because his electrolytes were outta whack and he was acting like he didn’t remember trying to bust into an entire families house with them home."

"He was getting antsy, but the hospital I worked at had a stupid fall-risk policy that kept patients in bed, even if they were young/healthy/capable of being responsible for their fall. Mental health patients like to pace, especially when they start to feel like they’re using it. So, anyway, I’m trying to keep dude in bed because if his feet touched the floor a loud alarm would go off, pushing his crazy ass closer to the edge. So, I’m in there trying to talk to him and deescalate. We’re talking and he tells me he is a bad person, that his cat was mutilated and his sister asked what happened to it and he told her the dog did it."

"But, he told me that his secret is that he did it. He killed the cat so bad that it looked like a dog ripped it to pieces! He also shared with me that he knew what he was doing when he tried breaking into the family’s home, and that he wants to hurt people. Of course, I shared this info with the hospitalist and the psychologist and, naturally, he was discharged free and clear the next day. No follow up with the law or outpatient psych. Gotta love it."

9. tiffpebbles can spot the stare.

"I am a mental health professional working in corrections (max security facility). In my experience, psychopaths will have this "predatory" stare, especially when they are trying to manipulate you. It is completely unnerving and hard to describe to someone unfamiliar with this population. They also tend to be narcissistic and overly charming, making a point to be overly friendly with you."

10. promunbound can spot the behavior arc.

"You feel it in your gut first. Using a validated measure, and constructing a thorough case history to discuss in supervision - this is how you test your gut feeling. But you feel it often quite quickly."

"It tends to begin with just a sense that something is “off”. When you’re doing therapy with someone, we tend to build up quite a strong rapport with people. So there’s lots of micromimicry going on, and you start to “tune in” quite deeply to unconscious body language. When you’re in this state, sometimes you just start to feel very uneasy and you can’t articulate verbally exactly why yet. This is often because of subtle micro expressions (super fast flashes of emotion, lasting fractions of a second) that we perceive, but don’t consciously register. You see flashes of contempt-related emotions and “burglar smiles” - basically emotions related to dominance and deception."

The next thing you’ll notice is a lot of use of projection going on. This starts quite quickly (usually in an assessment session - I mean as an aside, being assessed by someone else can feel quite threatening to anyone’s self image, let alone a psychopath’s). Quite predictably there will be status challenges - asking you about your credentials, your experience etc, and then often some put-downs and digs with plausible deniability (eg. joking that all psychologists are mad themselves), or just turning the tables by asking who’s the maddest person you’ve ever treated. You start to feel on the back foot and like you’re now being assessed by them.

"As time continues, they will attribute a lot of their own emotions to you as the projection deepens. Eg commenting that you look sad, asking if you’re ok, or conversely asking why you got angry just then. As time passes their affect turns from micro-expressions to more overt dominance displays (leaning back, smirking, getting up and striding around etc). By this point your initial gut feeling is getting more supportive evidence and it’s time to bust out the validated measures."

"The biggest sign of all is a general unwillingness to show any vulnerability at all, or to be in a one-down position. The engagement will be superficial - often “pally” or “matey”, with lots of “banter” and joking, always flying close to the wind of outright mockery and contempt. They will start subtly and increasingly become overt in their need to control and dominate the therapy sessions. If the therapist maintains an aloof control, the ante may keep being raised and even end up with overt intimidation of the therapist."

11. JackalberryJewels can spot the look.

"Often there is a particular face they make when they are relating a story, usually about how clever they are. One of the Ted talks on how to spot a liar calls it ‘duping delight’. Sometimes they can’t contain their rage and you see them switch.

Edit: last sentence is a personal observation not related to the ted talk

"Edit: to add link. We had to watch it for our criminology class. As other posters have noted there is no evidence based way to spot a liar. I just found the duping delight fascinating. I also see it in the faces of my young niece and nephew at times!

https://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar/up-next?language=en"

12. AllElse11 notes a switch in people's eyes.

"The eyes when they believe they're supposed to put on an emotion. You have to understand. It's going ouch when you bang your funny bone, even though it doesn't hurt, because all your life, people have cried out in pain when they've banged their elbow. You meet enough people like that and you find yourself hating any obligational situation in your life when you have to lie, like being asked how you are and saying good when you're not, simply because all you can associate it with, is them."

13. OneGeekTravelling pointed out the complexities and dangers of pathologizing people without looking at the bigger picture.

"This thread is interesting so I thought I'd contribute.

I'm not a psychologist, I'm a criminologist. Obviously it's not the same sort of thing and I've never been in a clinical situation, but you might be interested in some related experiences. Note here that I'm going to be very careful with my language in order to maintain professional integrity; apologies for the stilted language."

"I've been to a couple of prisons for academic stuff and work. These are not actually all that interesting, because I knew what the people in there were for and it wasn't as if I was surprised that some of them were psychopathic. But those would be my first experiences."

"But my area of professional and academic expertise is child sexual victimisation. I've very occasionally seen psychopaths in the making, as it were. Victims who have been so terribly victimized and neglected that you can see them setting out on the path of an abuser or other type of criminal. It wasn't my responsibility to intervene (and I don't have any expertise in that area of things), but knowing the case histories it was sad to watch. I've talked to a few police officers, social workers and so forth about a few of them. It's like watching a large tree toppling in slow motion--you know it's going to crash into the ground, but there's not much you can do about it."

"I have met (in a professional capacity but in a roundabout sort of way as it's not the usual stuff I do) the relative of a serial killer who was also once a suspect. I came away from that meeting knowing with certainty that they were the guiding hand behind the crimes of the serial killer. The police were pretty sure as well, but there was simply no evidence. Both are now deceased, and frankly I'm not going to shed any tears for them. There was definitely familial abuse there as well."

"I have encountered some persons, a very small number, that were psychopathic and quite smart. This was through working within my field. One of these persons indicated that they were abusive towards animals in lieu of, or to work up to, children. I'm not going to repeat it, but what they said was something that haunts me to this day and I haven't even been able to repeat to my closest friends or even my psychologist."

"Another one of these persons escaped justice. A very, very smart person. It was no-one's fault; the investigation was excellent, the police were great, everything lined up and a lot of justice was achieved. That person, however, escaped justice by being very, very smart. They were responsible for very serious, sustained offending and would definitely be classed as a psychopath."

"Last, I met a friend of a person who used to be within my social circle who was also victimised in their childhood. I have a suspicion, without any solid evidence, that they have committed serious crimes. They hold down a professional job and are very successful in life. From the standpoint of someone who cannot diagnose psychopathy and was not treating or analysing them, but has studied it, I would say that they lack any real empathy or conscience. A lot of their emotions (but not all) seemed to me to be a simulated and conscious act."

"The abuse they suffered was of the worst possible kind. As a result they were wary of most men, but warmed up to me a little due to the work I do. Abuse and neglect during the formative years seem to be a very common thread for many criminals and psychopaths. That said, I dare say there are some who are just wrong in the head, but I, personally, haven't encountered any of that sort."

"I'll end this already-too-long post with a word of caution to everyone reading. It's very easy to be horrified of the actions of psychopaths and criminals. It's easy to be fascinated by their psychology. But these are people, just like we are. Most of the time, their actions can be traced back to what happened to them, how they interpreted it, how they learned from their life experiences."

"There but for the lottery of birth. There aren't any evil monsters living under bridges or in forests; it's just us. We bear responsibility for the evil of psychopaths as a society, as communities and nations. We create the conditions for crime and evil. We are the monsters, and we create the monsters. As Oscar Wilde put it, we are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."

14. prettyhumerus remembers their college partner.

"I did debate in college and my partner was like this. Handsome, charismatic, popular around campus. He was always very cheerful and friendly, but I found him very frustrating the longer I knew him, because he never seemed to listen to me and would sometimes make stupid mistakes as a result. There were a handful of times when I chewed him out, and he never had a legitimate emotional response--he just gave these cold, empty assurances. It's hard to describe exactly, but after a few months of knowing him I began to develop a bad feeling about him. He was great at disguising his lack of empathy, so it took that long before I realized how "off" he could be."

"We had one team session where we opened up about our worst qualities, and he told us he's always "collected people." He doesn't really care about them, but prizes being liked and the elevated status that comes with it. He works in politics now."

15. Tesagk made some important professional clarifications.

"So after reading a lot of these it's worth mentioning the following:

1.Psychologists rarely even use the term psychopath anymore. Those disorders which would fall under the umbrella of psychopathy are preferred to the otherwise generic and easily confused term of "psychopath" (note how many people frequently conflate psychopathy with narcissism. There's a narcissism personality disorder which fits many models of psychopathy, but not all so-called psychopaths are narcissists.)"

"2. It often doesn't take training in psychology to spot so-called psychopaths. Formal training is needed to diagnose and treat it, but our brains are highly tuned to pick up on small things that our higher consciousness is often otherwise unaware of. This isn't to say that we should purely trust our gut, we're more often wrong than we'd like to admit, but how we feel about first impressions is often very important."

"3. Far more people exhibit features of various "psychopathic" personality disorders than most realize. The vast majority of these people, however, live fairly ordinary, productive lives and don't exhibit violent tendencies. It has even been argued that psychopaths are an important evolutionary element, giving us people who can detach themselves from the human experience in order to provide valuable insights or behaviors the rest of us couldn't fathom."

"4. Most of us will go through periods in our lives in which we often exhibit many symptoms of a personality disorder. But these are merely moments, they don't truly impact our lives in the way that a true disorder does."

16. electriceggroll unfortunately got the intel from a past relationship.

"Not a psychologist but from my experience of dating a psychopath (didn’t know until years in). A lot of what appears as emotion is simply mirroring emotions they see others exhibit and how they believe is the socially appropriate way to respond, whether or not they actually feel that way. This is how they blend in and appear normal to the average person."

"They are narcissistic, and everything revolves around them. They are always able to place blame on other people, nothing is ever their fault. However, anything positive in their lives or others lives is because of them. Because they are narcissists they believe they are much more important than they actually are."

"They have strong influence over others because of their ability to feel nothing when manipulating others, and this is how they exert control over others. They will do whatever it takes in order to come out on top of a situation with no actual regard for others lives or feelings. They may fake their feelings or reactions to continue to manipulate those around them, and they get pleasure over having control over other people and feeling like they’re pulling all the strings."

17. d3gu was terrified in a session.

"Not a psychologist but a counselor.

They were talking about a disagreement they'd had with their partner. An accidental spillage of water onto some electronics, it could honestly happen to anyone. As calmly as if he was describing... I dunno... changing a channel... he started saying how he pinned his partner up against the wall and started trying to strangle her. No emotion, no change of tone. Just as if it were a normal thing."

"I was a trainee at the time and NOT qualified to deal with DV, needless to say I transferred the client to another therapist. However I was not allowed to end the session and had to sit with him for another ~20 minutes. I've never been so scared in my life. I felt like a small prey animal trapped in the room with a predator. He just didn't care."

"However, if you met him you'd think he was just a normal, successful kinda average dude.

I am 99% sure he was a sociopath, because he kept trying to get certain reactions out of me, kept changing his tactics, kept trying to 'charm' me, and when I wouldn't rise to it became weirdly, coldly irritated. I've never had a client like it before or since."

18. willowluna2911 said sociopaths are masters at mimicing your emotion.

"Therapist here - a good sociopath will, on the surface, seem totally invested in treatment - they kind of schmooze you/try to impress you. Then eventually you catch on that they’re manipulating you to think one way while they’re totally thinking/behaving opposite of what you think. Also, if you’re an empath and really pick up on people’s moods/“vibes”, sociopaths/psychopaths just give you a big gut feeling that something isn’t right - you almost feel slimy after talking to them. That’s my experience anyways."

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"

-Freddie Mercury

We're all guilty of posting the best version of ourselves online. Filtered selfies on the beach make the cut, yet me cramming an entire sleeve of Oreos in my mouth while binge-watching Netflix don't. These memes perfectly nail the 'Real You vs. Internet You' struggle we all face on a daily basis.

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Using a throwaway account "for obvious reasons," aRedditor shared a story about her boyfriend that starts weird, gets weirder, and chills you to your core when you do the math on the age difference.

The headline reads: "My (21, female) boyfriend's (26, male) incredibly specific fetish is weirder than it initially seemed."

Let's begin:

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, and everything has been going great; we never fight, never get tired of each other, and we're very close to each other's families. In fact, despite the nature of this post, the sex has been fantastic, if a little over-adventurous. Over the years we have flirted a little with a lot of generally kink-y stuff, as well as some subtle roleplaying. However, this roleplay element has gradually become a very significant part of our sexual relationship over the past 3 or so months: my boyfriend can no longer reach orgasm without it, and it has become increasingly dominated by a particular fantasy of his.

What could the fantasy be? Student and teacher? Victorian era viscount and milkmaid? Nope, it's the classic Irish fishing vessel roleplay:

Without going into too much detail about the specifications of the fantasy, it involves me pretending to be the cruel and domineering captain of a small Irish fishing vessel, and him acting as a clumsy and incompetent (and I mean incompetent) deckhand who is reluctantly courted and subsequently sexually humiliated by his boss (me). I should also add that the whole encounter takes place at sea, in the fantasy.

Now, I'm sure many of you reading this are thinking, as I was, that this is an ultimately harmless fantasy, if not a little strange. That is true. I was intially happy to indulge him in this as the fantasy grew; I found it quite fun to put on the Irish accent, and teasing him for his exaggerated bumbling stupidity actually became kind of hot. Honestly, this wasn't even the weirdest thing we had tried in bed.

Now here's where the mother of all awkwardness comes in:

Anyway, I am posting this because of a (fairly drunken) evening spent with his family at home last night. I get on really well with his parents, who are lovely, and we often spend evenings with them in their living room watching TV and drinking Bailey's. His parents are hippy types and have spent a lot of their lives traveling as well as dabbling in all different kinds of work, which became the topic of conversation for a while last night. As this conversation went on it became apparent that one of the many jobs they had both worked on together was a fishing boat off the coast of Northern Ireland (his mum is Irish but has lost the accent), on which his mum was the captain (her uncle actually owned the boat), and his dad was a deckhand.

I'll give you a second to breathe and react to this "coincidence."

Obviously, I was taken aback by this and tried to signal some kind of surprise and confusion to my boyfriend during this conversation, but he refused to meet my glances, and began to look extremely uncomfortable. The worst part, however, is that towards the end of this conversation, as she was getting increasingly drunk on Bailey's, his mum said something like the following to me: "[boyfriend's name] gets really embarrassed by this, but it was actually on that fishing boat that he was conceived." My boyfriend seemed mortified that his mum had told me this, and, after turning bright red, excused himself to go to the bathroom. Afterwards the conversation changed and the night continued as normal, besides my boyfriend's mood being entirely off, and even though we slept in his bed together last night I haven't spoken with him about it yet; I honestly wouldn't know how.

Here's where the Original Poster needs help: she's wondering if it's weird to be weirded out by the weird weirdness.

Basically, is this as weird as it seems to me? I know people have all kinds of kinks that they cannot help, and that we shouldn't shame them for. But still, I can't look past the family element of this, and I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to be intimate with him again?

TL;DR - It turns out my boyfriend's kink involves us roleplaying the specific circumstances of his own conception, and I feel like this is going to ruin our sex life.

The story went viral on Twitter, with over 9,400 people in awe, and not-at-all curious about the circumstances of their own conception.

This whole scenario seems too weird to make up, but if it is fiction, I applaud the girlfriend for her impeccable imagination. The details in the story, from the Baileys to the Oedipus Complex to the proper usage of semicolons.

The replies are almost as funny as the story itself.

This story truly has everything.

People also noted that the circumstances of their coupling is a massive red flag.

Though his parents seem fun, leave this one, honey.

Those of us who spend our free time listening to murder podcasts, reading murder books, and watching murder documentaries will definitely relate to these hilarious memes.

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The human brain is a jerk. It loves to reignite memories of past mistakes and social missteps between the hours of 11 pm and 2 am, when you're in bed and at your most defenseless. If you have embarrassing memories that haunt and keep you awake at night, moaning out loud "GODDAMNIT why did I say that? WHYYYY?" at least you're not alone.

These 19 tortured souls share the memories of their past social missteps and overshares that still keep them awake at night, years later:

1.) From Risklotrman:

In 7th grade, a cute girl asked me to sit next to her. I said my mom won’t let me sit next to girls. My mom said no such thing.

2.) From georgeangela:

Junior prom I blurted out during dinner to my date "I'm so bored" and I have NO idea why it came out of my mouth. I'm pretty well-mannered and quiet. I forget how I tried to play it off, but I felt so bad.

3.) From AHHaSpider:

In 7th grade (‘06 for me) I had just started watching more anime on toonami and was really into it. One day we had to do a paper describing ourselves coming back from summer break and the class had to put a person to a description.

I named my favorite jacket that I wore every day “Takeshi” for fuck knows why, and the cutest new girl in the class read my description out loud and in it I described the love for my jacket and how I had named it was it is. The cute girls looks weirded out, looks up and goes, “what weirdo names their jacket?”

Once no one guessed who it was I piped up and said “Well maybe they aren’t here today?” Trying to cover myself. My dumbass forgot though that this was an IN CLASS ASSIGNMENT. And the teacher said, “No it had to have been written by someone here?” Finally one of my friends goes, “Hey XXXX aren’t you like the only one in class who plays soccer?”(also written in my description)

I sunk in my seat as we moved on to the next description.... i wake up sweating feeling that jacket still on my shoulders...

4.) From spaztasticnerd:

Freshman year of high school. It was one of those days before school starts and you meet your teacher and your parents are there. My teacher was handing me a piece of paper and I didn't see the paper so I shook his hand. He said "oh" and my mom said "Ummm?" and I panicked and said "I just wanted to be polite!"

So I still want to die when I think of that.....

5.) From Akummu:

For most of my education, I went to public school and like most kids, I was socially awkward. For High School, I received an academic scholarship to a private Catholic school. it was a really big deal for my family. I didn't know anyone at the new school. between an odd combination of academics, sports and the tail end of puberty, I became very popular in this new school. I wasn't used to the attention and it definitely got to my teenage head. Nearly all of my social circles became around the new school and not with my old local friends.

I'm in my junior year, I head to a McDonalds for lunch with a few friends from the new school. working the counter, I see a girl who i used to go to public school with that I used to have a crush on. She just lit up when she saw me, she was so excited, and I ... I was a shitty teenager and I just ignored her. I pretended I didn't recognize her. She looked so deflated when I didn't acknowledge her.

Note this was the 90's. My family moved a few times after that. I settled down in a different part of the country after University. I never made it back to that town. I've relived that asshole moment for years now. Fast forward to one of those nights when I relive that moment, and I decide to look her up on Facebook to apologize. I find out she died 10 years ago in an auto accident. since I found out her fate, I feel even more awful about that moment.

6.) From RealisticYogurt6:

Bruh I can't even begin to pinpoint one event.

I guess one thing is when I was 11, I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom three times during class and told me no. And well, sure enough, I couldn't hold it any longer and there's bullying for the next six months. Literally shakes me in bed about how I have never felt that low before.

SOMEHOW I managed to live through it though lol. We all got flaws. Mine is a bladder that urinates prematurely.

7.) From alexgvincent:

When I was 11, it was my first day at a new school and all the other students were also new. The Maths teacher started our first class by asking each of us about our education background (what school we came from, what they taught in our last year's Maths class etc.), just trying to get a general idea of what kind of students he was dealing with.

Thing is, I was so nervous that I spaced out for a bit and got lost in my overthinking mind, so I didn't hear the teacher's questions to my classmates. When it got to my turn, the teacher just said "Now tell me about you", assuming I understood what kind of information he was expecting. I just went straight into a monologue that started with "So I was born in the South Zone of the city, but my mom decided to move to our current neighborhood a few months after divorcing my dad..." And went on and on giving some very specific details about my short life. Everyone had a really confused look on their faces and as soon as I realized the teacher was also completely lost I stopped talking and went instantly red.

The teacher then said "that's all really great, but I was only interested in what happened last year, not the last 10...", and everyone started laughing.

Next day nobody remembered it anymore, but 12 years later it still comes to mind in pretty random moments.

8.) From precious3tears:

When I was in fifth grade, our teacher said a joke in front of the class and everyone laughed including myself. After the laughter died down, a girl looked up at me and said. "You have a really damn disgusting laugh, ew."

I became so self conscious about laughter since that specific, day, and after years I have trouble actually laughing. My brain kinda made it a habit to just smile or slightly chuckle at something, even if it is really funny.

9.) From 20XD6_1936:

I accidentally mixed up an inside joke with the wrong friend group with disastrous results.

Friend group #1: The “joke” was when someone calls and asks who’s all there we would add Darrell to the list of names. Darrell wasn’t a real person. The joke wasn’t really funny, and made no sense out of context, but I guess that’s why it was an inside joke.

Friend group #2: I was hanging out playing some drinking games with a bunch of people that I hadn’t hung out with in a while. It was a kind of get together to remember a friend that they had who had recently died in a car accident. I didn’t know him that well, but I was always down to party.

Anyway the phone rings, and the person who answered started listing off names. Sorting my cards for another round of Presidents and Assholes I offhandedly said “heh and Darrell!”.

It was the typical record scratch moment where everyone stopped and looked at me. Darrell was the name of the friend who had just died.

This happened in 2002 and I still think about it all the time.

10.) From Mizamagician:

I went through a phase where I scolded people for reading harry potter because my parents told me it was evil. Lots of awkward situations because of that.

11.) From prude_cecil:

This happened back when I was 6th or 7th grade.

Me and a couple of friends were browsing the neighborhood our school was in after the school day was over. We happen on a bus stop with couple of girls seemingly our age. We stopped and tried to chat them up, but their bus came soon after and they had to go.

We see their bus stop at a traffic light not 20 metres away and one of us says "Let's run to the next stop". Nobody thought to ask "Then what?" and off we were, sprinting madly behind the bus.

Surprisingly enough, we somehow made it to the next stop just as the bus was arriving. Then the doors opened, the girls sat there giggling and... . . . We did nothing. Literally. I even remember it like the bus driver held the doors a bit longer, but I might as well might be imagining it as the memory is so old. We just sat there, trying to catch our breaths as my lungs burned.

And then the doors closed and the bus went off to the next stop. And none of us said anything. We just walked it off, went on to the next stupid shit we would do.

I don't know about any of the other guys, but this still haunts me as one of the cringiest moments of my life so far.

12.) From lycheemochi:

In primary school, this girl really looked like my friend from the back. I went up to her, tapped her on the shoulder and said hi, then, played it off like I didn't just mistake her for someone else and left... That was probably 23 years ago now...

13.) From unloadedboar:

I was in fifth grade or so and I was sitting in class with a couple classmates. We were talking about Weird Al songs we liked. This one girl asked, "Have you heard (some Weird Al song)?" and I followed with, "Have you ever heard I'm So Sick of You?" Which I guess they hadn't heard because she looked immediately down at the desk, sort of somber, and the dude did a little," hohooo" as if I did a nice burn. I guess they thought I was telling this girl I was so sick of her... I had no clue at the time though, so I just let it ride. :( Still feel bad about that one.

14.) From Konfliction:

Was talking with a black friend of mine, and we were discussing random haircuts and styles we would get if we were other races. I said I wanted that Common look, he thought I said "that common look".. I meant the rapper. Shaved head with the nice trimmed up goatee. It didn't dawn on me until a week later why he gave me that weird look after I said it. He thought I was saying "that common look every black guy has"... Still makes me twitch every once in a while.

15.) From johngannon8:

I was visiting portland for a wedding that lined up with my birthday as well. We went out to celebrate and finished the night at a karaoke bar. Realizing I'm too drunk to sing I pick my name is by Eminem as my song to perform. There's two versions of that song. One is the original release, the other tamed down (which you most commonly hear today). The woman controlling the music put on the original, and off i went. One of the lines at the end is "running over lesbians in a spaceship while they screamin at me lets just be friends". I finish the song and I'm met by applause from my friends and one other table. The rest of the place is silent. The DJ goes "nice job! Don't know if it was the best choice for gay women's night though." And at that moment i wanted to leave my skin.

16.) From anonusername27:

I was in the fourth grade and it was Valentine’s Day, I was the new kid in school and this one boy had been picking on me all year. My 10 year old self was very non confrontational so I wrote a paragraph on the back of his nerds valentine explaining that I don’t like it when he’s mean to me, and I don’t understand why he has to be. He couldn’t read my handwriting and brought it to the teacher who made me read it aloud to both of them. I think about that day every day of my life. He even ended up finding me online and contacting me to apologize a few years ago but all I can think of is the cringe.

17.) From LoveCatPics:

When I was 6, my teacher asked us what's our parents' occupation, I said my mum does the dishes, and after 5 minutes of explaining what she does at home, my teacher just took it as my mum is a housewife.

My mum is a chemistry teacher, and I told her that I said that when i was 12.

You really can't blame me, I didn't really think about where my mum went during her work hours, I just knew she went somewhere, and just kept playing with my toy cars which I stole from my brother.

18.) From kalekole:

I was visiting my cousin about 4 months ago and we didn't have the same greeting handshake. So it was like that really weird thing with your hands where you end up in some super awkward handshake. Last night I thought about this like 20 min and blamed myself. Smh that was super unnecessary.

19.) From fireballginger:

In 8th grade I farted once, and a few minutes later, someone smelled it and asked who did it. They asked if it was me and I just started crying. I used to be very sensitive and so I thought they were accusing me and felt really bad, so I cried. It's partially because of that that I am now much less emotional, and tend to keep them bottled up

"If you're too busy to laugh, you are too busy."

-Proverb

You should always make time to laugh. Even on your busiest days, taking a minute to enjoy yourself is totally worth it. These memes will definitely crack you up and help you start your day off with a smile.

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Chrissy Teigen, queen of Twitter, suffered a major social media failure after the "Bring the Funny" finale.

While discussing her outfit choice with her costar, Amanda Seales, Teigen accidentally posted her very real, very personal email address to 11 million of her loyal fans.

F*ck indeed, Chrissy.

Aside from the typical spam and fan letters, Chrissy was bombarded with Facetime calls. Leave Chrissy alone, people! She doesn't want to play Chatroulette with your boring, non-supermodel existence. What do you expect to get out of a conversation with Chrissy Teigen, who is just out there trying to live her best glamorous life? A new friend?

While of course the tweet was immediately deleted, a blurred screenshot remains.

She shared her struggles with Twitter:

Things got interesting, though, when she actually decided to answer one of the calls.

This is nice of Chrissy, but this man doesn't even seem that excited to be talking to a supermodel who took time out of the kindness of her heart to answer a total stranger's phone call. However, he did thank her...

Eventually, she changed all of her information to protect her privacy.

She even made fun of herself for the fact that this isn't the first time something like this has happened.

Of course, the jokes rolled in:

Good work changing your email, Chrissy! Don't let this happen again.

Every day presents a fresh new hell, or more specifically, an opportunity to behold newly uncovered racism from someone you grew to like.

The Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who is currently running a campaign for re-election, is currently in hot water for racism. In a bombshell report Wednesday night, Time published a 2001 photo of Trudeau wearing brownface.

"It was a photo taken while he was teaching in Vancouver, at the school’s annual dinner which had a costume theme of ‘Arabian Nights.’ He attended with friends and colleagues dressed as a character from Aladdin," Zita Astravas, the Liberal Party of Canada's media relations head revealed.

The yearbook photo is undeniably gross:

After the photo surfaced on Wednesday night, Trudeau was quick to address it with an apology, according to CBC.

"I take responsibility for my decision to do that. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have known better. It was something that I didn’t think was racist at the time, but now I recognize it was something racist to do. And I am completely sorry."

Sadly, this is not Trudeau's only offense in this area, he also wore blackface and an afro wig in high school to sing Day-O, a Jamaican folk song notoriously performed by singer and civil rights activist Harry Belafonte.

In 2018, Trudeau and his family visited India, and were subsequently called out for dressing in traditional garb that bordered on costumery.

While addressing that debacle, Trudeau conceded that he can go over the top when it comes to costuming. Sadly, the scope of that confession has gained new meaning now that the two brownface and blackface instances surfaced.

In the midst of this, allegations that Trudeau groped a reporter have resurfaced, as people are discussing the potential consequences of these photos.

The weekend truly cannot come soon enough.

It is with a heavy heart I report to you that Stephen Miller, Chief Nationalist of the White House, has a girlfriend. While Miller's sexual proclivities undoubtedly involve disentangling his tentacles and staring at the photos of the immigrant children he's caged, it is even more shocking to learn that somebody's sexual proclivities involve Stephen Miller.

NBC News dropped this tidbit of DC gossip when reporting that Vice President The Minister from Footloose Mike Pence hired former Department of Homeland Security press aide Katie Waldman to be his press secretary.

"Also worth noting: Waldman is dating Stephen Miller," reporter Nick Miroff wrote.

As spokesperson for former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, Waldman was tasked with defending and promoting Trump's family separation policy, which means that this couple truly is a match made in hell. The two must have bonded on their shared love of traumatizing toddlers.

Her whole Twitter profile is Border Patrol-themed, with a picture of the border with Mexico as her cover photo.

With so much racism in common, the internet began musing on what their romantic dates entail.

People are physically nauseated.

Stephen Miller might be the disgusting spawn of Evil Squidward, but women can't help but be attracted to men in positions of white power.

Age unfortunately comes for us all...

It doesn't matter how old you are, everyone can feel old sometimes. Whether it's turning 25 or 30 or 80, even the most "young at heart," and "age is just a number" among us can find a gray hair and spiral into retirement.

Getting older is inevitable and with technology changing rapidly and the planet melting, it's hard to truly appreciate having a healthy body and a wrinkle-free face for a few years.

When a recent Reddit user asked, "What was your "Man, I'm old" moment?" the internet was ready to share their most relatable, cringe-worthy "damn, I'm old as hell" moments. Remember the 90's? Well, kids who were born in 2000 will be able to legally drink soon...

1. Oh my god, "extra_less."

My favorite album I bought in 1982 is 37 years ago. I feel old knowing that playing it for kids today would be like an adult in 1982 playing me an album from 1945.

2. Aw, "pullin2."

Old retired flight instructor here: There is at least one airline pilot flying today, who was taught to fly by an airline pilot -- who I taught to fly. I actually have grand-students in the sky.

Sigh...

3. Oh no! "BradC"

There's an "Oldies" radio station here in Southern California called "K-Earth 101". When I was a kid (in the '80s) they played music from the 1950s.

The other day I was in someone's car who was listening to this station, and the station was playing a song by U2.

4. This is real, "odhsickeoabbfornx."

I ate a cupcake and thought "this is too sweet."

5. Wow, "200mgSTFU."

We always ask patients their name and date of birth.

One day I’m called in to do a labor epidural and she gives her date of birth and it’s the year I graduated high school.

Sucker punch.

6. It's ok, dad, "boysvsfood2."

I was playing basketball in a neighborhood I just moved into. The age range on the court was probably 14-30 (me being the 30). There was a super cocky kid that was legit really good. His team took a big lead. Then I hit like 3 long distance shots in a row. After the 3rd, he took the ball down the court, went up for a layup, and I swatted his shit out of the court. A girl on the sideline said, "Man, somebody's dad came out here to show yawl how to play ball!" I was crushed.

7. Yup, "Marise20."

When a kid asked me about 9/11 and I realized it's just history to them, the same way the Vietnam War is to me.

8. This is REAL, "tomeetthemoon."

When I rewatched Gilmore girls and realized I thought the dad characters were hot and the “hot boys” were children

9. Peak old, "watchguy98."

I was watering the lawn last night after re-seeding it. I was thinking how nice it would be to yell "Get off my lawn" once its back to it's lush thick green self again.

10. Doing nothing is great, "SlightlyIncandescent."

When you look forward to things like:

- Doing nothing

- Going to bed and getting up at a reasonable hour

- Home improvements

- Leaving parties

11. Yikes, "howsmallarewe."

I was at a BBQ get-to-together with mixed ages, I walked into the livingroom to find two 18/20 yr old women talking together about the handsome older man on the patio, where my husband was seated. One of the women said "Oh you know how I love sexy old guys!"

I smiled thinking they were talking about my husband , as their conversation continued they peeked out the blinds waved at the "older man" and giggled.

OMG...it was my SON ! My son was the "older man" ! LOL !!

p.s. my son was 31 at the time.

12. Classic, "nakedreader_ga."

When a coworker called me her "work mom."

13. When in doubt play dead, "clit-o-pee."

Playing with my boyfriend's young children. They have infinite energy so I just lay in the grass and pretend to die so they take pity.

14. Good cabinets are distracting, "iforgetredditpsswrds."

Playing with my boyfriend's young children. They have infinite energy so I just lay in the grass and pretend to die so they take pity.

15. This is a real sign, "Mufigy."

I threw a BBQ. All of my friends showed up with at least one case of beer. Ya know, because it's polite to bring something to parties when you're an adult. Everyone left before 8 pm. I checked the cooler. FULL of beer, but I was completely out of flavored seltzers. We're fucking old.

In concept, interracial dating shouldn't be anything to write home about in 2019. But sadly, there are still deep pockets full of people whose racism is so deep they can't stand the thought of interracial love.

While there are many equally absurd, fear-based reasons people perpetuate this specific brand of racism, the most obvious one is hereditary: (white) people take cues from their parents and don't break the pattern.

In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for dissuading his daughter from introducing her black boyfriend to the racist grandparents.

"AITA for telling my daughter she cannot introduce her African American boyfriend to her grandparents?​​​​​​

Let me just preface this by saying this: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS. Now that the air is clear, let me continue."

OP started the post by making the disclaimer that he's neither liberal, nor against interracial relationships.

"My daughter (Anna) has recently started to date an African American man (Jamal). While I'm not exactly what you would refer to as "liberal", he's a nice young man and as long as my daughter is happy, I'm happy. The problem is Anna is rather naive about the community she lives in. While her friends are quite content to see a relationship like hers, more than a few tongues are wagging in the community and a few people have privately expressed their concern to me. As I said, I have no problem with mixed relationships and I've set them straight, but I am painfully aware of how these matters are viewed by certain segments of the population."

However, he wrote that his daughter Anna is "naive" about the "tongues wagging in the community" about her interracial relationship.

"My parents are planning to come and stay with us for a week and Anna expressed a desire to introduce Jamal to them now that things were getting more serious between them. I told her on no uncertain terms that this wasn't going to happen. I may have no problem with Jamal, but they absolutely will, and even when the relationship ends they won't forget it. They might even go as far as to cut her off entirely. Anna was extremely upset by this and implied I was a racist and more concerned with what my parents think than how she feels."

OP went on to share that he also advised Anna against introducing Jamal to her grandparents during their upcoming visit, because he knows they'll freak out.

"As I said, I know my parents. They simply aren't okay with mixed relationships and if Anna were to bring Jamal over even as a friend, they would be furious both at her and me."

Understandably, this made Anna feel as if her dad valued the opinion of his racist parents over the feelings of her and Jamal, and she's now refusing to speak with OP.

"Anna is currently staying with Jamal and doesn't want to speak with me right now. My wife stands by me given she knows very well how my parents are (they had a problem with her for months over the length of the skirt she wore when I introduced her to them, for christs sake), but a close friend I confided in told me that I have behaved like an ass and that I needed to focus more on my daughter than pleasing my parents.

No advice needed, but I have to know. Have I been an a*s?"

OP stands by the fact that he supports the relationship and was merely telling the truth about the nature of his parents. But now, he wonders if he went about it wrong.

OP was immediately called out and flamed by people on Reddit, most notably, the top comment by user Public Idea.

"YTA. Has it occurred to you to man the F*CK up and PROTECT your daughter from the racists you are supposedly so against? Anti racism isn't popular in "the community" when you define that as white people of a certain age and class. It never has been and never will be. Dr King's dream wasn't to ask politely for people to be "not exactly liberal but okay", then give up and abandon black people and their white partners to the wolves if they say no."

furious at both her and me

"COWARD. You do free work for the racists by being such a coward. You and the other white moderates are the jewel in their crown; they need to win your complicity before they expand their empire. You are the oil in their tanks; your selfish actions fuel their advance. Do "your daughter" a favor and tell her you've chosen not to be a dad to her because it might affect your little popularity contest. She deserves to know the truth. Jamal deserves to know you place your little neighborhood pecking order above his safety and freedom, too."

"Let's hear from Dr. King about the white moderate:

Letter from Birmingham Jail (excerpt)

By Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., 16 April 1963"

"First, I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can't agree with your methods of direct action;" who paternalistically feels he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by the myth of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a "more convenient season."

Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection."

"You're not just "not liberal", OP. You are the enemy of freedom. Grow up. Be a D*MN DAD. Get your shit together before you get someone seriously hurt with your wishy-washy bullshit. Be part of the solution or get out of the way. And might I add, your parents are who Dr. King meant by "White Citizen's Council-er". How many black people did they attack at soda fountains and city halls? How many have they intimidated out of their neighborhood? Have you even asked? Ball's in your court, white moderate."

Xstitchpixels thinks the grandparents should be cut off.

"YTA. Your daughter has nothing to hide and neither do you. If your parents love your daughter any less because of who she loves, then you and her do not need them in your lives."

Mac0491 agrees that OP messed up big time and needs to set a boundary.

"YTA - I get where you're coming from but what is your plan if this relationship continues into the foreseeable future? Will her grandparents not be invited to the wedding? Will they never meet their mixed race great grandchildren?"

"If your parents don't take it well, then that's their problem and you should stand up for your daughter.

"'but a close friend I confided in told me that I have behaved like an ass and that I needed to focus more on my daughter than pleasing my parents."'

Keep that friend around. They know what they're talking about."

milee30 also pointed out how OP is letting racism take precedence.

"YTA for being more concerned about what some racist relatives and ignorant strangers think than your daughter's feelings. This is part of why racism persists. You're allowing the racists to control your - and your daughter's behavior"

Suffice it to say, the internet has a pretty clear take on how OP should move forward, it's just a matter of whether he heeds their advice or not.

We've all used an iron to make a grilled cheese sandwich in a time of need (college), right? Just me? Misusing everyday items, whether it's through ignorance, creativity or desperation, can have disastrous, and often hilarious, results. Someone recently asked Reddit: "What is the most extreme misuse of an everyday item you have ever witnessed?" These 25 people shared their hilarious stories, and they're not all about someone using a toothbrush as a.... you know (but one of them is):

1.) From Azzahc:

I caught a friend of mine rubbing one of the antibacterial hand wipes from KFC all over his friends chicken. The little packet said 'a hint of lemon' on it, and he thought that he was meant to flavour the chicken with it...

2.) From wrlun08:

Using a microwave to dry clothes... There were flames

3.) From Wikrin:

Roommates in college used laundry pods in the dishwasher for like a week? I handwashed my dishes, so it did not affect me. They only noticed because I asked why they always left their laundry pods on the kitchen counter.

4.) From sourkeychain:

My friends kid decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich with an iron on the couch. Burned a nice iron shaped hole in the couch. Kid was 15 at the time.

5.) From DadAsFuck:

snorting nutmeg to get high

6.) From Limmmao:

This was a story that a colleague told me that happened on the day I was off back in the day I used to work for a hotel.

Apparently some Chinese guests came to reception to complain that the microwave wasn't working. We didn't have microwaves in the room, so when coming to inspect the problem, she found out that they were trying to microwave a pizza... in the room's safe.

7.) From LoathsomeDeity:

My high school spanish teacher would use her computer’s disk tray as a shelf for her coffee mug

8.) From dialinga481:

My (adult!!!) BIL once used steel wool to scrub his parents' oak dining table. That still floors me after like a decade...

9.) From fire_thorn:

Using my fabric shears to cut wire and plastic packaging. And now he's butthurt that my new fabric shears have a padlock through the handles.

10.) From Talulahly:

Walked into my sister's room and she had maxi pads laying everywhere with Barbie's on top. She's like, look at all these Barbie sleeping bags I found.

11.) From blasphemicassault:

I used to live 2 doors down from the neighborhoods "crazy lady' and she would often vaccuum her grass after it was mowed.

12.) From olucolucolucoluc:

Using a microwave to "dry" a smartphone.

After running said smartphone under tap water to clean it (this was like 7 years ago, I dont think the phone was waterproof).

Person who did this was good academically but had no common sense whatsoever it baffled me

13.) From Solohman:

My wife once watched a girl at work stick a ball of aluminum into a microwave with her instant ramen during a break. She said, "the Sparks are just because it's heating up faster," as if it were common knowledge.

14.) From MarzipanTravolta:

We had a housemate who used to get home very drunk and try and cook himself elaborate meals, which always resulted in a lot of mess and noise. To combat this I turned the oven and electrical sockets in the kitchen off when he went out one night. Foolproof

The fool cooked himself steak in the living room with our clothes iron at 3am.

15.) From I_Only_Eat_Tacos:

I used to work at a golf course doing lawn maintenance. We had a fella on our crew that was older and well, not the brightest. He was kind of a loner so we just let him be most of the time. One day, I saw our guy mowing some large berms with one of our push mowers. To save time, I guess, he left the mower running; then picked it up to put in the back of the truck. He still had all his fingers but the truck tailgate took a good hit.

16.) From BunnyMan87:

I didn't witness this, but I read it in a newspaper article a few years ago.

It was this article about life-hacks, and such, and basically what happened was, there was this "hack" going around about how, if you put your toaster on its side, slide in two slices of bread with cheese on top and toast them, you get toast and grilled cheese all at once.

Apparently, this lady tried it and the melting cheese set her toaster on fire. The whole thing went up and nearly burned her entire house down.

EDIT:

Here's the article:

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/home/interiors/british-woman-tries-to-make-cheese-on-toast-in-her-toaster-causes-fire/news-story/000dea90090d6a1abbd82c7820d926c4

17.) From MissD96:

I'm working in the operating theatre.. we removed a very large eggplant from a very normal sized asshole.

18.) From InspirationlessHuman:

I did not witness it but my grandma had used a vibrator as a massaging stick for her back pain because the box had stated 'massage stick'. The way we found out was hilarious though.

When we visited her one day she started telling how she went to the shop where she bought her massage stick and asked the boy to change the batteries. She did not understand why the boy had refused and why he acted weird. Then she asked my mom if she could change the batteries and gave my mom the vibrator. I still feel sorry for the kid behind the counter at the shop.

19.) From Rhinomeat:

My wife routinely uses butter knives as flat screwdrivers. I once caught her using an ice cream scoop as a hammer. We've talked about it, I bought her tools. Now she keeps an old shitty butter knife in the back of the drawer for fast easy battery changes and uses a hammer as a hammer.

20.) From -ayame-:

Several years ago I worked for natural nail salon as a receptionist. One of my duties was to sweep the floors regularly so clients don't step on nail clippings on their way in/out.

There was a new hire, and my manager was never really around to train her. The other receptionists and I trained her. One day, I asked her to sweep the floors. I showed her where the broom and dust pan was. She was in her early 20s and living on her own - I assumed I didn't have to teach her how to use a broom.

She took the broom, and fanned the nail clippings into the dust pan. She didn't drag the broom across the floor to sweep it - the broom never touched the floor. I tried to show her how to sweep properly. She never took my advice, and I kind of gave up.

She left after six months. She still couldn't sweep, but she could finally calculate tips at least.

21.) From Tkoile_fuzz:

I once witnessed a dude washing out condoms and hanging them to dry.

22.) From pipgras:

An old roommate put a strainer inside of a pot of boiling water and flipped both. Boiling went all over the place, but she said "that's the right way to do it, I seen on Instagram "

23. From Hospidallying:

We weren’t allowed hot plates or microwaves in the college dorms, so one of the girls on my floor cooked bacon with a hair straightener.

24.) From lyleeleigh:

When I was a kid, my mother used a pasta spoon to clean the cat litter box. I thought this was normal because it was the only way I'd ever seen it used. Then, years after our cat died, I was eating dinner at a friend's house when the mom grabbed the same kind of utensil to serve spaghetti. I freaked the fuck out and shouted "why are you serving food with a poop scoop?!" They were so confused and I couldn't eat my dinner because I was so disturbed.

25.) From SeraphiJade:

Electric toothbrush. I'm sure a fair number of people here know exactly what I'm talking about.

[Feigns confusion]

“Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to. ”

- Kendrick Cole

If your exes are Satan's spawn then we have probably been dating the same guys. If you hate your ex, these memes will be hilarious and relatable as hell.

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Melania Trump is political props to pose with her, and parents are pissed.

The New York Daily News reports that a notice went out to parents of students at the United Nations International School seeking children to join Melania Trump for a photo op at the New York Stock Exchange.

UNIS is the official school of the United Nations, where UN employees from all over the world send their children.

While Melania is only seeking ten students for a picture that will bring about world peace, parents are pissed that the school would let them pose for propaganda.

The issue has reached the upper echelon of the United Nations. A UN worker and parent at the school sent a letter to the UN undesecretary-general, writing, "I am profoundly disappointed by the decision to accept this invitation."

Students' "appearance together with the First Lady confers, by extension, on this U.S. administration, the endorsement of our school and our community," the parent wrote.

The parent noted that when Donald Trump was elected, the school organized "grief counseling and special activities with students to cope with the shock," and to collaborate with the White House is a disappointing about-face.

The school, however, have no regrets, and published a letter saying that they have no regrets.

"We are mindful of the fact that the United Nations stands for giving voice to differing opinions and positions and that debate and dialogue are fundamental to its core mission," the school's executive director wrote.

He added that he's hopeful that the field trip could help convince the First Lady not to be racist, writing, "It is our intention to present a framed copy of the UNIS Mission Statement as a gift and as a reminder of who we are, what we represent, and what we stand for."

Parents and alumni are not satisfied with inviting her in and simply giving her a framed printout.

When America sends its people to the United Nations, they're not sending their best.

The mafia doesn't just exist within the fictionalized worlds of The Godfather or The Sopranos. There were, and still are, neighborhoods run by mafia members that run on their own economy of corruption and black market cash.

As with any gang, the mafia can be friendly and loyal if you're in with the right people, while posing an existential threat to anyone who crosses a line. Honor codes often dictate a culture of hush around the mafia, and an understanding that if you mind your own business, you'll stay out of the line of fire.

However, regardless of whether you're a neighbor, friend, or enemy of the mafia, there is a point when proximity trumps all, and living near the going-ons is going to throw some stories your way.

In a recent Reddit thread, people who grew up in neighborhoods run by the mafia shared what it was like.

I am hoping this article doesn't add me to a list.

1. iammaxhailme said the public was largely kept out of it.

"The stuff in New York in the 70s and 80s was not really like a huge mafia warzone, it was more like a lot of financial rackets, corrupt unions, and various schemes. Thuggy street drug gangs were far more dangerous to the average person."

2. ireallylikebeards's friend's family was abe to buy property so the mafia could eat Chinese food.

"I have friends who grew up in bensonhurst, brooklyn. one of them told me as he was growing up there, he would see guys walking around wearing suits, kissing each other on their cheeks, doing the whole godfather thing. They also bought up all the properties in the neighborhood, making it impossible for non-italians to buy real estate. but they let my friend's family do it because they wanted to open a Chinese restaurant and the Italians wanted to be able to go out for Chinese. there were genovese drugstores everywhere too (i.e. owned by the genovese crime family) and my friends would shop there."

"The mafia is a lot less active there now though, iirc most of them have moved to new jersey."

3. NYC_Dweller says it wasn't a bad childhood.

"Overall it was pretty good. The neighborhood was always clean and taken care of.

NYC sanitation snow plows would clear the streets constantly during a snow storm. The sanitation workers would manually shovel the sidewalks of our block. Meanwhile, the news is reporting people being snowed in and city plows are not showing up. It wasn't until I got older that this wasn't the norm."

Also, guys in bespoke suits hanging out during traditional working hours wasn't a norm as well. My parents would tell me not to go into certain stores or walk on certain streets. At the time I didn't fully grasp the reasoning behind the rules. I thought the guys in bespoke suits were nice since they always would gather kids and family around a Mr Softee ice cream truck for free desserts during summer evenings.

"I never saw any beatings or "hits". I heard a lot of "Get outta here kid", "Be smart, stay in school" and "Drugs are for weak minded people".

I guess you can say it's more like A Bronx Tale than it was Godfather or Casino"

4. HonorableJudgeIto never got candy from the Mafia.

"I grew up in the neighborhood where Carlo Gambino had a house and later where John Gotti Jr. lived. It was similar to this. Nothing happened in our neighborhood. They did their thing in the city/away from where they lived."

"It was hilarious how none of the mafia guys ever answered their door on Halloween. We learned to not waste our time going to their houses. John Jr loved July 4th though. He used to give fireworks to all the kids. The parents in our neighborhood hated it, but they weren’t going to say anything to him."

5. copewithlifebyliving's grandpa almost died while running against the mob.

"My grandfather ran for political office against a mobster in Jersey back in the day and while he was out for dinner with my grandmother the restaurant got shot up in a drive by, he had multiple incidents at his home of windows being smashed and threatening notes being left around. He did not win the position, I'm not sure if the mobster did or not, honestly not really sure how it all ended my mom would never go into too much detail other than it happened and the past is the past."

6. youareyourmedia will never forget Teddy.

"Grew up in Brooklyn in the late 60s early 70s but moved away when I was 9. Only thing I really remember is a guy on our block named Teddy who even then I could tell was some kind of low level gangster. Drove a corvette stingray and when it got stolen one day had a new one in a different color the next day. He also had a dog, a huge terrifyingly fierce German shepard that he had either found or raised, but all i know is everyone crossed to the other side of the street when that dog was out front of his brownstone, even though there was a metal fence and it was chained."

"But the main thing with Teddy was that every July 4 he would completely fill the trunk of his corvette with firecrackers of all kinds. He used to stand there and let the Ladyfingers go off in his hand, which was scary but not crazy, and he'd light the normal firecrackers that you definitely didn't want going off in your hand and he'd hold them for 3 or 4 or 5 seconds and then toss it away with a laugh just as it exploded. He'd do the same thing with cherry bombs that could blow your fingers off. we were amazed. Eventually he'd bring out the heavy artillery, something that was called a blockbuster that was supposedly equal to half stick of dynamite."

"When he lit that thing even he ran away and you can be sure that if Teddy was running everyone else was running too. The thing left cracks all along the street. then everyone went over to the schoolyard where he was going to light off a 'battery' that was supposed to be more like 1 full stick or dynamite or two, but i was too young and (quite smartly) my parents sent me to bed so i never saw that. overall i'm sure he was a thug of some kind and we all were scared of him but also loved the crazy energy he brought to the block."

7. gamrgrl didn't know the family secret until she was an adult.

"I grew up in New York, on the other side of the Hudson from the city, and while the presence wasn't like what I imagine it is in the city, it was there. Where we lived, it was a lot of houses that were decently spaced from each other, in the foothills of the Catskills, with a lot of people I called "uncle" or "cousin" that came around maybe once every week or two and were amazingly cool to me."

"They all ate and drank at my aunt's restaurant when they were there. They always had change for me for the jukebox, to go buy a record, or MAD or Cracked or whatever. When I made my First Communion, it was a HAUL! I didn't get it then, but they laid out some bucks buying me all kinds of gold crosses, rings, necklaces with medallions of my Patron Saint, etc..."

"Every Christmas or birthday was like that. No one broke into houses in our neighborhood, even though there was a problem with that in the general area. Snow plows always hit our streets right away. Even when there was a strike, our garbage got picked up. When my mom was in the hospital with cancer and my dad was visiting her as much as possible, somehow our lawn was always done, meals were delivered to the house daily, laundry was done. I was always looked after by someone."

"We moved when I was 9, (1979), but years later before my grandma died, she had one of those honest talks with me and laid out how both my mother and fathers side of the family were OC back to 1920's and that my dad was basically legit, because his father demanded that. But that said, as an accountant, he still cooked the books for a lot of illegitimate businesses. I also found out then the reason my dad moved us down south then was that I was getting to an age I would soon put things together and he didn't want that."

"Last I ever saw of any of those people from NY was when my dad passed and two guys not much older than me showed up and gave me an envelope with about $12k in it to help with funeral expenses. I said it was covered by insurance, and the one I remember being named Tommy said "then keep the scoots for yourself."

8. stacyknott grew up with Mafia uncle figures.

"My mother was a bartender at a restaurant/bar in Boston. Sometimes she would bring me in the late afternoons for a Shirley Temple. I would sit with the men in dapper suits. they were wonderful to me, and loved my mother. They nicknamed her "Sunny". they were always genuinely interested in what was going on in my life - school, friends, activities etc."

"I loved to visit with them and was enamored by their kindness towards my mother. I had never seen such strong men in my life at the time, and wished one of them would be my father! i wasn't aware of their goings on until i was around 12 yrs old. I was a night owl, and would eaves drop on conversations. Her only true confidante was her sister (who worked at the same place). "

"I heard her say that they had offered to kill my father, who had left her when i was a baby but would come over every couple weeks and beat everyone up. She was crying and said she begged them not to hurt him - but they told her they were going to break his knees. my mother killed herself some years later. a time went by, my father had "an accident" - both his legs below the knees were shattered and he had to retire from the police force. I've always wondered."

9. pita4912 grew up during an explosion of corruption.

"The mob ran Youngstown, Ohio for decades. When I was growing up in the 90s is when they started to really getting torn apart. The power vacuum is what is really the weird part. These illegal businesses don’t just go away because the ones running it get taken down. So there was a lot of gang violence when I was young as rivals tried to capitalize the drug, gun, and gambling markets."

"It kinda just became corruption at one point. Public officials/workers getting indicted left and right. Our congressman, Jim Traficant, was embroiled in bribery scandals for the 8th time(only slightly exaggerated). That’s when the FBI showed up at my house looking for my dad. He was in Florida and my mom told them to come back with a warrant. I knew we were always around some shady shit. That was the confirmation. I was 13. 2 of his friends went to jail, 2 more indicted, and 1 received immunity to flip."

10. jaytrade21 grew up next to the Russian Mafia.

"Lived next to the Russian Mafia growing up. Anyone who was Russian would always say I know someone, but in reality, there were a lot of lower tiered people who did collections and these were the people they were talking about. There were fights and you saw people go into stores and just go to the back who obviously didn't work there and you know that store was into shady shit, but it didn't involve you so who cares."

"There were occasional hits in the neighborhood, but living near Coney Island there was worse violence in the poor areas. If anything, you could walk down the streets at 3am and not worry because if you were not involved in anything you were left alone and the locals policed themselves."

11. givemeclaire-ity's grandma appreciated the mafia safety.

"My grandma grew up in the Bronx as a kid and she told me that she never felt unsafe walking anywhere or doing anything because some of the members of the Mafia would be around/live in her neighborhood and they’d always be there to help her out if she ran into trouble, kinda like a Mafia neighborhood watch lol"

12. HaydenAndSons dated a Mafia niece.

"This isn't necessarily in line with your question, but whenever something about the mafia comes up, I think of this story."

"So freshman year of high school, I dated this girl who told me that one of her great uncles was a super notorious member of the mafia in Las Vegas (could have been somewhere else out west, but I'm pretty sure LV). A few years after we broke up, I was watching my boy Zak Bagans on Ghost Adventures. They were investigating a place that was supposedly haunted by a mob boss. When they said the guys name, it was the same last name of my ex. So I texted her and asked what his first name was. Sure enough, it was him."

13. menomenaa's mom remembers police stakeouts.

"My mom has stories. One was that her best friend growing up (elementary age) lived across the street from a Big Name Mafia Guy who was known for tons of shit but talentedly elusive and the cops could never "get him" on something. The idea was that someone always had to be writing down his comings and goings, even though they knew they'd be really benign, because this guy knew how to cover his tracks."

"So the cops had a semi-permanent stakeout for a while that eventually moved INSIDE my mom's best friend's house. To the point where she knew the cop's names and they'd always say hi when my mom went over. The mafia dude would wave at the cops sometimes. Everyone know what was going on. They still needed those times of entry and departure written down."

"EDIT: even as I was typing this, I was wondering how real it could be because it's just so insane. But it dawned on me that this was before cameras were cheap. Manpower was cheaper somehow."

14. HouseTarg is familiar with the Asian triads.

"While this isn't anything to do with the post I currently work with Asian OC also known as triads.

I currently work with the triads and while none of them ever say they are, you can bet they are by their spending habits. Our company while 100% legit is actually a haven for money laundering."

"We have some auctions that relate to primary industries and agriculture. Half of the buyers are legit looking for stock to sell in their shops, the others there just to buy produce only to dump it and then claim they sold it, effectively cleaning their illegal money."

"It's weird, if you are nice to these people they are seriously generous, one of our triad customers gave me a whole heap of fish tank equipment and tanks because he was upgrading his, what I got was less than 12 months old from brand new."

"Often they will meet me at the smokers area and just give away packets of cigarettes only to pull out a fresh packet from their other pocket, they also buy us food and take us out a lot because we are just good people to these guys.

Thou, one guy is currently in trouble with the police after 2 people were found kidnapped in a shipping container on one of his properties."

15. HummingbirdMotel's dad remember's Bob's code.

"My parents grew up in Brooklyn, and went to the same high school in the late 70’s/early 80’s. It was some real Bronx Tale, Do the Right Thing type stuff, they talk like it was only Black and Italian people there. They said it was mostly causal racism, between both groups really. My dad only had one really bad experience, maybe a few years after he came to the states."

"But they bring up this guy they went to school with—I’ll call him Bob. He’d pull up to the school in the nicest cars, he was loaded, he had well tailored clothes. His dad was a mob something or other, my parents don’t remember."

"Anyway, Bob was this complete badass that ran with an equally badass crew. Like even the teachers wouldn’t fuck with him, it wasn’t worth it.

One day, his little brother gets in a fight with one of the Black kids over a basketball game. The Black kid is sick in some way, I can’t recall if it was sickle cell or something like that. My dad was in the gym watching. He said what happened wasn’t a big deal, but it was two kids trying to be macho in front of their friends."

"Anyway, it’s coming to blows, there’s a crowd. The little brother is fucking the other kid up. It’s getting bad. Then, Bob comes up with his crew and he’s furious at his kid brother. Like spitting mad. He pulls his brother off, like “he’s sick what the fuck is wrong with you?” And the little brother is stammering, and the Black guy is on the floor."

"And then, if my dad recalls correctly, Bob slaps his brother, then goes to help the Black kid up. He asks if he’s okay, and apologizes to him and his friends. Then he makes his little brother apologize. Both my parents remember him as having a code. They say that he’s in jail now. Not sure what for."

"Interestingly, it was only the first of my Dad’s many experiences with the mob. He said they were very pleasant to him and his family, probably because my grandpa fixed a lot of their television sets."

16. JimTheJerseyGuy learned some of the code by observation.

"I grew up in Staten Island in the 80s and my neighborhood was dotted with lower level mob guys. The streets were always cleared first thing during snow storms. At a time when there was a lot of car theft going on, nobody touched cars in those neighborhoods. For the most part, little to no burglaries either. I guess the idea of inadvertently picking the wrong house made the idea distasteful."

"The only violence in the area was the time a guy down the street (who was married to the daughter of some higher up mob guy) roughed her up a few too many times. He didn't get the message from Daddy apparently and got shot twice in the head as he was getting out of his car late one night."

17. thatprophecydude says growing up in Naples was not for the faint of heart.

"I grew up and still live in Naples, Italy. I've moved out of different neighborhoods 10+ times, and most of these were controlled by Camorra (ICYDK: Neapolitan Mafia)."

"I've been living in my current neighborhood for just two years, and since I got here there's already been two attempted burglaries, an homicide (a couple of mafia-related kids tried to steal a gun from a guard ending up beating him to death) and the arrest of an important Mafia boss. Also a guy burned his warehouse down to get money off the insurance, and also burned down my recording studio by mistake in the process, and I couldn't say a thing or sue him in any way, for he was related to Camorra."

"And this is one of the most peaceful neighborhoods I've been living in. Usually the mindset you start to develop is the "mind your own business" approach; you are induced into being silent about anything you witness or that you could witness, for your own safety. So if you hear gunshots, you don't talk about it and you don't ask about it."

18. illogicalfuturity's dad was offered a free hit.

"My dad has relatives in the mafia, I didn't really know they were in a mafia because they didn't act like they were in a mafia.

I've heard stories but never saw anything, one man was a well known hit man who ran a cafe another was chief of police who ran strip clubs to casinos, another was a pimp."

"My dad was well connected, to the point they'd offer him to kill his ex-wife, no strings attached but dad didn't accept it not because he didn't want someone killed he just didn't want to feel indebted to them even if they are family. Dad was basically untouchable by police, given his uncle was chief of police and other relatives were also in the force, he never took advantage of that though the worse he did was drive on a sidewalk and the police just took him home."

"Dad also helped them with their accounting, which got him paid well for a few years. They also helped my dad's friend, who was mugged by thugs at night. They tailed him and caught the thugs, who were small timers.

All in all, they were nice to me and my parents, the pierogis and kielbasas were delish."

19. localhelic0pter7's grandpa has wild stories.

"My Grandpa was not in the mafia but he knew a lot of people that were and tells a lot of stories about growing up in Brooklyn during the 20s 30s. He left after he got back from WWII. A few memorable ones:"

"There was a guy that would kill someone for $1, not sure if it was mafia related or just the Depression, hope that was just a rumor and he didn't actually know this person.

His "uncle" (not really sure if it was a real uncle or what) was in the mafia and would get thrown in jail/prison from time to time and that was just normal, his wife would come over for dinner when he was gone or something like that."

"If you didn't vote democrat they wouldn't pick up your trash

Street-fights were just like a normal thing, he always said to get the first punch and don't stop until they are on the ground and I don't think he was just saying that, he is Jewish and I guess at that time anti-semitism was just super open and normal too so he dealt with it a lot. He also talks about asking guys to "go outside" when he felt they offended my Grandma."

"His first job was working on the docks unloading ships, many of the other workers were criminals and I think he said it was run by the mafia, and my Grandpa was dating the the daughter of the foreman or guy running things, he said that he was a big man and would often hit people if they acted up

He talks about his Dad having to pay for "protection" for his dry cleaning business."

"I've heard him on numerous occasions threaten to kill people, sometimes very descriptively, from a harmless old Grandfather it's almost kind of endearing, but in his prime it would have been pretty scary, not sure if that was just normal for back then or a product of being around the mafia or WWII."

20. LarrytheMonker always had suspicions about the family.

"I'm from Bergen County, 25 mins from NYC, where the Sopranos was filmed and based off of. I was a kid in the early 2000's when the DeCalavcante family was running North Jersey. I always suspected some people in my extended family as being involved."

"Living in providence RI and what not. I did see a black car parked in a super market once. 8pm or so, school night, i was in 2-3rd grade, not long after 9/11. The driver gets out puts a black briefcase on the ground, drives away. 20 seconds later a beige car pulls up and picks it up off he goes. I was waiting in the car silently parked car watching while my mom was getting groceries. I was 7-8 but i remember thinking to myself 'that's fun'"

Joe Manganiello is somebody you might recognize from Magic Mike, being married to Sofia Vergara, or your Dungeons and Dragons group.

The buff statue of buffness stood up for Role Playing Gamers everywhere with a fun tweet designed to humiliate a real obnoxious bro.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman, a wrestler with the fae of Ben Platt and the body of Johnny Bravo, boasted the state of his muscles with a mirror selfie I would immediately have swiped right on.

Weird flex, but okay.

That's when Mr. Sofia Vergara came in to stand up for hot nerds everywhere, declaring himself to be a D and D player, and showing the internet that physical fitness and role playing games are not mutually exclusive.

That's a fancy way of saying, "lol he clapped back at that chode."

Manganiello's tweet received thousands of likes, and hundreds of "oh snap!" and "yaaaas" GIFs in the comments.

He wasn't the only conventionally hot person who stood up for gamers.

Friedman is either sticking with his villain persona or is an a-hole in real life, because he decided to double down and call people nerds.

High school never ends.

When I was a kid, my mom would make references to having lost her childhood belongings in a "fire" but I didn't press her for details because I was a kid and self-absorbed. Then when I was 16, I found a book in my school library and the first chapter was about how my aunt blew up my grandpa's NYC apartment (accidentally) in the '70s while building bombs to protest the Vietnam War. I guess my mom had forgotten to mention this to me and it was before the age of Google, so I had to find out on my own. So, yeah, I know a thing or two about "family secrets." But mine is actually pretty tame compared to some of the stories shared on a recent Reddit thread (gotta love the internet for always helping you put things in perspective).

These 18 people shared on Reddit about the "creepiest" things they ever found out about their families and holy sh*t, they'll make your family (and mine) seem normal:

1.) From NicolasCage4Ever:

After my uncle died of a heart attack a few years ago, it came out that he was the leader of a sex cult thing. His wife and 5 kids had no idea and I think his wife is still in denial.

Whenever his kids go to clean off the grave (at least initially, I don’t think it’s happened lately) there are usually sex toys on it that they have to throw away.

Not super creepy but definitely a crazy curveball.

2.) From itsashleyjohn:

My grandmother was addicted to those speed diet pills in the late 1960s and had a collection of wigs that she used to impersonate other people to pick up their prescriptions.

Edit: since this got so many likes, I thought I’d add to the story. She had gone through a lot in life by that point. Her mother died when she was 6, and her dad remarried 6 months later to a woman who used to starve her and only let her eat leftovers. She married at 17 to a man in his late 30s to just get out of the house. Her husband, my grandfather, committed suicide in 1961 (when my mum was only one years old), leaving her alone with very little money and 4 kids.

She had wigs because she lost her hair in the aftermath of her husband dying from stress. She still had them when I was a kid in the 90s and I used to wear them for fun, although I didn’t learn about their true purpose until a long dinner on a family holiday many years later. She told her entire life story from the start and every detail has stuck in my mind. She stopped the pills cold turkey when she saw the police at the house of one of her neighbours (one of the women she’d been impersonating). It scared her straight.

To look at her later in life, you would never have guessed she went through anything (the diet pills weren’t even the end of it. She had a rough time with the menopause later on, got pregnant in the early stages, which then sent her a bit off kilter and she was sectioned because she kept sticking her head in the oven and the doctors didn’t properly understand why at the time). She was the sweetest little old lady you’d ever meet, although she had a wicked dry sense of humour. All of my best memories growing up were with her. I was always the awkward weird gay kid and she let me be myself, be creative, dress up; she was honestly my best friend. She died surrounded by her family in 2014 in her 80s.

3.) From beautybyelm:

A few years ago one of my Dad’s cousins did one of those DNA kits. A few weeks later she was contacted and told that there was several close relatives in their data base that aren’t listed on the family tree she made. It turns out that my Great Grandfather faked his death in a life insurance scam and then started a new family on the other side of the country. He never got in contact with my Great Grandmother or his children with her (my Grandfather and his sister). It kinda of crazy because he only passed away a few years before this all came to light.

4.) From Individualchaotin:

My grandma and her 9 siblings are very close. So when they each got a call saying a family member had died and they had inherited a large sum of money they thought it was a scam. Turns out their very strict and religious father had a secret affair and an additional child, Marie.

Well, Marie now in her 80s had passed away, so had her husband. They had no children. So the closest relatives were my grandma and her siblings. And that's how 10 religious people in their 70s and 80s learned their dad had cheated on their mom and they had a half sister they never got to meet.

5.) From ZeldasMomHH:

My Mom told me this over dinner a few years back like it was no big deal. When I was six, my grandma mother side, wanted me to sleep over at her place for the weekend. Its noteworthy, that she never really liked me. I remember her as a cold witch (six year old brain). Her housekeeper was nicer to me than she was.

My Mom said no, she wouldnt let me sleep over at her moms.

Granny got really angry, saying something along the lines of you will regret this.

So she didnt hear from her for a while and went to the house to check up on her. Granny had suicided herself with sleeping pills.

Here is where it gets creepy. My mom found her diary and her last entry were things like, granddaughter (me) is rotten, needs to be killed and it's her job to do so. My name was in her calendar for that weekend. Basically my grandma wanted to kill me when I was six. Im really glad my mom trusted her gut and said no to the deadly sleepover.

6.) From katiesue64:

My dad once found a mummified human foot just chilling in a trunk in his basement.

My grandfather was an orthopedic surgeon who was stationed in New Guinea during WW2 and by all accounts was never quite the same after the war. Our best guess regarding the foot is that it belonged to one of his patients and either had some sort of abnormality my grandfather found interesting, or he was just super proud of the amputation job he did.

My dad and his buddy, who were 12 or 13 at the time, naturally decided that the best course of action was to hang the foot from the front porch of the girl they were crushing on. And apparently no one in town batted an eye over it other than thinking it was a good prank.

7.) From ErrorArtError:

That my grandpa was a drug addict and was eventually cast out of the family. My aunt woke up one night to find him in the house... Talking to a real estate agent. He snuck in and tried to SELL THEIR HOUSE while they were asleep. He also “double mortgaged” their house, so he got basically all my Nan’s income. When my Nan tried to move the family away from him she realised she had almost no money due to this. Bank director said it was okay because men are supposed to control the bank account. She was stuck there because of him, and he was leeching off their money and there was nothing she could do about it.

8.) From TheJaundicedEye:

My Aunt and Uncle had their oldest daughter lobotomized because she was was probably a bit mentally ill, was very combative with them and was in her teens and becoming interested in sex. This was in the late 1960's. My father never spoke to his brother again over this. We had no contact with them whatsoever when I was growing up. My Mom and Dad told me what happened a couple of years ago.

9.) From VeganDuck:

I discovered that my brother and sister (which are twins) had sexual intercourse at least once...

10.) From rivalpiper:

My father's parents both died in the '90s. Around 5-10 years ago I did a 23 and Me test, mostly for kicks and to look out for any health issues. Last year I was contacted by someone through the service who was trying to find blood relatives because both of her parents had been adopted as infants, and we had a pretty strong genetic connection.

Long story short, my grandfather had an affair in the 1950s and fathered twins. My aunt and uncle were pretty floored to find out they have half-siblings. (My father died 4 years ago from suicide, so he never knew.)

To get even weirder, my mother grew up with these twins after they had been adopted. She was friends with my father's half-siblings decades before she married him.

11.) From KarmasDoll:

My grandfather from my mother’s side died way before I was born. I was always told that he fell off the balcony and died.

A year or two ago I found out what really happened. When I was I think 13, my mom was telling the story to my uncle’s girlfriend while we (my mom, uncle’s gf and me) we’re sitting at the table. I was just minding my business, while my mom was whispering to my uncle’s gf. At some point I heard my mom tell something about her dad, and I started listening to what she was saying.

She explained that her dad was an alcoholic, and could be pretty abusive at times. When he got drunk, he would sometimes threaten to kill himself. On the night before my mom’s birthday, after he put her and her siblings to bed, he got drunk and threatened to throw himself off the balcony. He stood on the edge of the balcony, on the other side of the fence thing (can’t remember what it’s called in English, sorry). My grandma tried to calm him down, and to get him safe inside. It worked, my grandfather calmed down. But instead of getting inside, he accidentally let go of the fence and fell off the balcony. He probably thought that if he landed in a correct way he wouldn’t break too many bones or something, so he tried to move while in the air.

It didn’t work, and he died.

So yeah, when my mom woke up the next morning, on her birthday, her father was dead.

Some details may be wrong, it’s been, like I said, a year or two ago since I heard this story and frankly I’m too timid and kinda scared to ask my mom the whole story again because it’ll always be a sensitive topic.

12.) From VanityInk:

My grandfather had a literal "crazy aunt who lives in the attic." His father's sister had some sort of mental illness, and they were apparently worried about how that would look for the family, so they locked her in the attic of his boyhood home Jane Eyre style and basically just kept her fed and otherwise ignored her. I found out about this when he briefly mentioned it a few years ago like it was an entirely normal thing to do with a family member.

13.) From SmartyLox:

My grandma had six children. I always thought my oldest uncle looked and acted different from the rest of the siblings. When I was 24 I found out he didn’t share the same father as the rest of them. But that isn’t the juiciest part...his real dad is my grandpas brother.

14.) From cshock91:

I always thought I was born of an affair between my my parents, who were both married to other people at the time. Last year, my grandmother told me that in fact, my dad and his first wife wanted a son, but had a daughter. They tried to buy my mom’s son (my older half-brother) from her, but my mom wouldn’t sell. Instead, they agreed to give my mother $10k to have another baby. The deal somehow fell through after my dad had gotten my mom pregnant, my dad went to prison and got divorced from his first wife, and the first wife tried to steal me from the hospital.

15.) From aswaninapond:

Not really a well-kept secret, but one of my cousins was(/is?) a neo-nazi.

It's safe to say no matter how bad I f*ck up my life, I'll never be the black sheep in the family.

16.) From imminent_riot:

Maybe more sad thsm creepy. My great grandfather died in a mental institution. However, everyone who asked was told he died in prison... Because it was less shameful in the 30s than being crazy.

17.) From StickandSauce:

My dad tells us that whenever he smells nail polish remover he feels extremely sick because when he was a toddler he drank his sister's nail polish remover and went to hospital. But then one night...

I was up late chatting with my younger brother in his bedroom talking about out dad and my brother tells me about a conversation he was either part of or overheard.

Apparently, according to my dad, when his parents (my grandparents) were going through the Great Depression they lost everything (as many families did) but it affected my grandmother horribly. Something must have snapped in her mind and she became a little bit insane.

The real reason the smell of nail polish remover was so horrible to my dad was because one day my grandmother had decided that feeding my dad the nail polish remover as an infant in a crib was an easy way to kill him. It was only my grandfather rushing in and stopping her that stopped my dad from dying.

Makes me wonder what sort of behaviours I might be prone to given some traits are more prevalent every other generation...

18.) From peachkitteea:

I found out that my aunt and her family were in a cult for 10+ years. Over the years of being a kid, I had always wondered why my cousins never came to family get togethers anymore and why I never got to see them. My grandma would always tell me it was because they were reserved and liked their privacy. I always thought that was weird but never questioned it.

One year, they moved from their home state to the state where my grandma and the rest of my dad’s side of the family now lived. Now all of a sudden I was able to see them when I went out to visit in the summer which I thought was odd. I also thought it was weird that they lived with my grandma and literally had moved out with nothing but a few suitcases.

Turns out my aunts family had been in a Christian cult for years and weren’t able to leave it because they were threatened by the church. They told them that they would kill them and make sure they never escaped. They would keep track of when they went to the church on Sundays and Wednesdays. They were forced to give the church thousands of dollars a MONTH just to survive. One day my aunt said she had enough, packed a few bags and booked it to The state my grandma lived in during the middle of the night. They left their furniture, a majority of their clothes, the kids toys, almost EVERYTHING. They moved in with my grandma and lived with her until they got back onto their feet.

Now the oldest of the kids talks about it with me like it’s nothing and how scary it was. They have been out of it for years now and have made a good life for themselves. I’m very happy they can move on from what happened.

"No matter how bad things are, you can at least be happy that you woke up this morning."

-D. L. Hughley

Congratulations on waking up this morning. To celebrate, let's crack open a fresh batch of memes to make you laugh out loud. There truly is no better way to start off your day.

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What a week. The President of the United States traded in Russian collusion for Ukrainian collusion, the Prime Minister of Canada doubled down on brownface with blackface, and Caroline Calloway got a talent agent.

Here are hilarious tweets from women, all of whom deserve talent agents.

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